Awesome/Funny NS quotes (not your own quotes, please)

[Big Jim P]

Keep it up and I might develop an ego.

Why develop one? You can borrow mine.

Sloppy seconds? No thank you.

[Luziyca]

Honorary mention to another funny.

Sloppy seconds? No thank you.

[Wikkiwallana]

Not the most PC joke I've made, but that was a great answer.

Actually, I'd have said "Triple Bypass".

But it's only a double baconater.

[Nationstatelandsville]

On Henson's company (Muppet) refusing to do business with the homophobic Chick-Fill-A...

Kermit, what are you hiding?

You're seriously asking what a naked frog dating a pig could be hiding about his sex life? He's been out about the exhibitionism and the porciphilia for fifty years now, and you really think he'd hide something like dressing up like Statler or Waldorf to get off?

[Prussia-Steinbach]

I would have more (and much better) quotes, but I lost them all in F7.

There are no girls on the internet, so the female option is irrelevant.

If I'm not a girl, then why do I have boobs?  

You need to add other or transgendered to the list.

A persons mental disorder doesn't determine their gender.

Because this isn't an RP forum where you can make believe.

But don't politicians make up stuff and look where they are... Congress

To me, it ain't a meal if some animal didn't die for it.

The Theocracy of Hadda (1 minute ago)
 I should have expected war from a Prussian themed nation.

Panama is a country solely because we wanted to put a canal there and Columbia said no.

I used to be a liberal, but then I got a job.

 

I don't believe in god but if I turned out to be wrong...

After watching my dad take 10 years to die from leukaemia I'd ask him...

Why are you such a fucking cunt?

Guy just got deleted right after posting that.

COINCIDENCE?

Sympathy is appreciated.

 I blame the Jews.

Max Barry smilie:

Because [oil] will run out.

By the way, the sun will explode in time too.  Why use solar power?  hey, why even use the Earth?  Let's just stop everything and die out like dodos!  That will solve everything!

What is it with some rich pale people wanting to be brown and some poor brown people wanting to be white?

Why do we feed the trolls?

Because the resulting feeding frenzy is so cute.

I really don't feel like arguing about this.

*HIIIIIISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS* OUTSIDERRRRR

So this is how communism dies.

With thunderous applause.

It's the delicious depriving-other-people-of-equal-rights that makes the chicken extra crispy.

100% Fag Free Chicken.

Did I mention that we have birthday cake on Pentecost?
C'mon, you know you wanna

*Goes into trance* Caaaaaatholicismmmm.

*A few minutes later, Orson wakes up in his bed in the Wombat.* Whew, it was just a dream. That was the most horrible nightmare I have ever experienced.
(Please do not shoot him or anything.)

Nope.

*Shoots him*

Damn it, Lyra! Yes, but...

That moment when your brain and penis are conflicted.

Choose your penis. It can never lie. *nods*

NS will always try to reason with the unreasonable, debate what is undebatable, teach what cannot be taught.

Capitalist democracies do kill people. They are just less efficient.

That'd be fun though.

Knight: fuck this shit. I'm moving vertically.

All the other pieces: *Gasps*

*Karl Marx appears* "Pawns of the world unite!*
Kings: Uh oh.

by Tsaraine » Sat Jul 28, 2012 7:57 pm
So ... why exactly did you guys feed the troll until it died of morbid obesity, and then proceed to smear yourselves in the decaying juices of its fetid troll carcass? Is that actually entertaining to you? Because I'm not seeing it.

~ Tsar the Mod.

Mine feels fine.
But how does it look?

Quite a bit better now that there is a lack of hair. As my dear old grandad would say: "until you've either killed or fathered a person, keep your chin bare as a baby's bottom."

Granted, he was starting to lose it about that time, but there's a lesson in there somewhere. Maybe.

Luna Amore proves his worth as an Issue Editor:

We need more issues with paraplegic jugglers and talking pies.

Guns don't kill people, I do when people suggest repealing my favorite Amendment.

you'd kill a man for suggesting DC shouldn't be in the electoral college?

The U.S. need to conquer China, so we can go there to get real egg rolls without passports, and so that the new Territory of China can send over more professional egg-roll-makers.

Oil? Fuck Oil, we invaded China for the egg-rolls.

Let me source it. Be right back.

Log, Day 245.

Supplies are running low. It's been almost a year since Prussia promised to deliver his sources. We have no idea when he'll be back. My crew mates are turning on each other. Help us. Help. Us.

Also, we've ran out of Twinkies.

When the United States butts in on somebodies business all of the other countries are like "OMG! AMERICA NEEDS TO BUTT OUT!". But when America minds their own business other countries are like " WHY ISN'T AMERICA DOING ANYTHING? GEEZ THEY AREN'T A VERY GOOD WORLD POWER!!!". It is impossible for us to please people.

It's just annoying on how people generalize about Americans, I don't generalize about any other country.

I;m drunk dnow. I read all my old posts in this thread. Ypiu people are nice but your beliefs make no ssnse. But being nice is more important. Ilove you!

[The Republic of Lanos]

*A few minutes later, Orson wakes up in his bed in the Wombat.* Whew, it was just a dream. That was the most horrible nightmare I have ever experienced.
(Please do not shoot him or anything.)

Nope.

*Shoots him*

[Minoriteeburg]

We should start a thread titles $#*! our Big Jim P Says.

Ill drink to that.

[Nationstatelandsville]

I would have more quotes, but I lost them all in F7.

Some are serious, some not... You decide which is which.

If I'm not a girl, then why do I have boobs?  

A persons mental disorder doesn't determine their gender.

But don't politicians make up stuff and look where they are... Congress

To me, it ain't a meal if some animal didn't die for it.

The Theocracy of Hadda (1 minute ago)
 I should have expected war from a Prussian themed nation.

Panama is a country solely because we wanted to put a canal there and Columbia said no.

I used to be a liberal, but then I got a job.

 

Guy just got deleted right after posting that.

COINCIDENCE?

 I blame the Jews.

Max Barry smilie:

By the way, the sun will explode in time too.  Why use solar power?  hey, why even use the Earth?  Let's just stop everything and die out like dodos!  That will solve everything!

What is it with some rich pale people wanting to be brown and some poor brown people wanting to be white?

Because the resulting feeding frenzy is so cute.

*HIIIIIISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS* OUTSIDERRRRR

So this is how communism dies.

With thunderous applause.

You have a rather loose definition of awesome.

[Astrolinium]

I would have more quotes, but I lost them all in F7.

Some are serious, some not... You decide which is which.

The Theocracy of Hadda (1 minute ago)
 I should have expected war from a Prussian themed nation.

 

Max Barry smilie:

You have a rather loose definition of awesome.

Well, he's a raider.

[Minoriteeburg]

The kind you dont want to call the next morning?

[Nationstatelandsville]

The kind you dont want to call the next morning?

And this is why you have a crown.

Well, that, and because you choose a flag with a king in it.

[Minoriteeburg]

The kind you dont want to call the next morning?

And this is why you have a crown.

Well, that, and because you choose a flag with a king in it.

Ill drink to that.....and to Gallagher.

[Milks Empire]

A friendly reminder...

This is not a chat thread.

[Altito Asmoro]

Either you die as a villain or live long enough to know that you've become a hero

[Furious Grandmothers]

Either you die as a villain or live long enough to know that you've become a hero

And which other poster said that (use the quote function, please)? Otherwise, that does not belong here.

[Miss Defied]

Truer words have never been spoken on NSG!

I wasn't being rude. You'll know when I'm being rude to you.

[Risottia]

BOO!

[Prussia-Steinbach]

Well, he's a raider.

Fendas got no clue what awesome is.

You have a rather loose definition of awesome.

Yes, I probably do.

But, I used to have quite a few amusing ones, but I lost them all. So, I've restarted my collection with some poorer quotes.

[Milks Empire]

I read a report on the average... size there for countries around the world. Icelanders are typically an inch bigger than the average American.

Is this factoring in the cold or not? Because if it isn't, then Liri's bucket list should really be "Shag an Icelander while on holiday in the south of France."

[Elipida]

what's wrong with homosexuality? What have homosexuals ever do to you? If it isn't being thrown into your face, you shouldn't have to worry about other's sexual orientation, gay or straight

They leave behind a trail of fabulousness. You know how hard fabulousness is to clean up?

[Astrolinium]

Why?

Because the Scots may be conquered, they may be required to live in a British nation, but they will be damned if they are forced to wear underpants.

[Natair]

Because the Scots may be conquered, they may be required to live in a British nation, but they will be damned if they are forced to wear underpants.

Aren't we in a point in history (the 21st century) where people can just accept each other?

no.

Win.

Edit: Sorry for the double-post.

[Prussia-Steinbach]

This new, second page hereby secedes from the thread. We are now the Free People's Republic of Pruss's Page.

Hey, I was already in this thread. Cool. I did think that was funny, but didn't know anyone quoted it.

[Ceannairceach]

The first part had me in stitches:

You pro-obesity, socialist scum!

I assure Comrade, I am no Socialist Scum. I am a Socialist Baker.

Who said the cupcakes needed frosting, we can top the cupcakes with vegetable shaped frosting

[Qazox]

I know this is supposed to be NS Quotes only, but this quote sums up Russia's economy since the Dark Ages pretty well:

It's like hanging a carrot in front of a mule. Keep it too close, meaning not having enough money on hand; and the mule eats it. Keep it too far away, meaning have too much money on hand, and the mule will just give up. Unfortunately Russia's carrot is hanging off of the mule's ass.