Awesome/Funny NS quotes (not your own quotes, please)

[Maltropia]

Adolf Hitler ate bread. Adolf Hitler caused the deaths of millions. Therefore, bread kills millions. Bread is evil.

[Genivaria]

But it also depends on the body, I mean if it's a nice body, then yeah, the government should be all over it.

"I'm Bill Clinton, and I endorsed this message."

[Wikkiwallana]

STUPID JERSEY SHORE, YOU MADE ME LOOK BAD!
*puts on oversized mask*
OGIDY-BOOGIDY-BOO!

[Sociobiology]

'Emperor' sounds better.

True. There's not many titles better sounding than "Emperor."

Deity
that way if anyone disagrees with your decisions you just say "Mysterious ways" and win the argument.

[Wikkiwallana]

Humanity has a special capacity for focusing on inanity that is exceeded only by our ability to get really, really angry about it.

[Greater Evil Imperial Japanese Dystopia]

Is the Branch of Government the stick you hit someone with when you're telling them to do something?

[Greater Evil Imperial Japanese Dystopia]

True. There's not many titles better sounding than "Emperor."

Deity
that way if anyone disagrees with your decisions you just say "Mysterious ways" and win the argument.

No... Divinity is better... or even...

"The Enigmatic Master of the Intrigue". Or perhaps, the "Eccentric Enigma"....

This makes you win at all situations.

[Greater Evil Imperial Japanese Dystopia]

that's just like you neo-pencilites, always claiming that those who oppose you hate freedom just because some of them sided with the c-rangers in the great frozen pencil war of 1976!

Ah...the veterans of the forgotten war. Those c-ranger snipers could take an eraser clean off a pencil at a full kilometer. And as I recall, that was the war where the staple gun was introduced.

[Qazox]

I mean, really. Dead Horse Beating is practically NS's national passtime. It's like figure skating- you might use the same set of moves over and over, but you get scored for how well you execute them, chain them together, and whether you stick the landing or fall flat on your ass.

[Reploid Productions]

I mean, really. Dead Horse Beating is practically NS's national passtime.

Aw, you left out the part with the figure skating analogy!

[Qazox]

Aw, you left out the part with the figure skating analogy!

But the DHB was the best part!!!

[Qazox]

Fixed it Reppy

[Reploid Productions]

Aw, you left out the part with the figure skating analogy!

But the DHB was the best part!!!

I was kinda hoping to trigger people visualizing various NSers in skintight leotards prancing around while beating a deceased equine, personally.

EDIT:

Fixed it Reppy

Yay! My evil master plan moves forward!

[Qazox]

But the DHB was the best part!!!

I was kinda hoping to trigger people visualizing various NSers in skintight leotards prancing around while beating a deceased equine, personally.

EDIT:

Fixed it Reppy

Yay! My evil master plan moves forward!

I really don't wanna see 99.9% of NSG in leotards.

[Goobergunchia]

Clearly more people need to be exposed to my Spider-Man costume.

[Risottia]

Generalissimus

BOOM!

Generalissimo Supreme Soviet Omnipotent Ultimate-X Warlord Emperor Overlord of Everything You Ever Saw, or Will See.

Dai Gensui... Dae Wonsu... Eternal President, Dear Leader, Glorious Leader, Ayatollah (for some reason it sounds wonderful)

Ha!

When you're really cool you don't need a title. Your name is made into a title, and people will copy it for centuries. See "Caesar".

[Genivaria]

Generalissimo Supreme Soviet Omnipotent Ultimate-X Warlord Emperor Overlord of Everything You Ever Saw, or Will See.

Dai Gensui... Dae Wonsu... Eternal President, Dear Leader, Glorious Leader, Ayatollah (for some reason it sounds wonderful)

Ha!

When you're really cool you don't need a title. Your name is made into a title, and people will copy it for centuries. See "Caesar".

True dat.

[Forsher]

When you're really cool you don't need a title. Your name is made into a title, and people will copy it for centuries. See "Caesar".

True dat.

It gets better. When they start corrupting it, then you've made it.

[Damanucus]

Clearly more people need to be exposed to my Spider-Man costume.

Excuse me; I need to bleach my brain.

[Furious Grandmothers]

Clearly more people need to be exposed to my Spider-Man costume.

Excuse me; I need to bleach my brain.

Me in a Nightkill costume should be more than adequate for that.

[Risottia]

Eh, but... Lewinsky! and Obama is an usurper!
So you see it all balances in the end and... uhmmm... we clearly need to get back to the gold standard, and less gubmint. And free assault rifles! FUCK YEAH!

Gold assault rifles!

[Ravineworld]

You know what is the problem with America? Fundamentalist Bread eaters! They won't give a single thought to sourdough or even not eating bread, or even anti-bread groups. See, the truth is that I don't believe in eating bread.

Why? Evidence shows that there is no point in eating bread. Bread has been worshipped for thousands of years, but it's just a waste of time. There is no perfect, tasty, good bread. Common sense says to something like pizza. If bread was good, why do people die of malnutrition? If bread was all nutricious, why do people vomit bread? If bread was everywhere, why couldn't I find any at the supermarket? Therefore, the possibility of a good, all nutricious, omniscient bread is an impossibility. After all, Epicurus (341–270 B.C.), Greek philosopher said:

"Is bread willing to prevent untastiness, but not able? Then it is not a perfect food.
Is it able, but not willing? Then it is bad.
Is it both able and willing? Then whence cometh untastiness?
Is it neither able nor willing? Then why call bread the best food ever?"

The quote pretty much logically disproves a bread that is considered the best food ever. Bread has been responsible for hundreds of deaths througout history. As Marie Antionette said:

"Let them eat cake!"

I really hope this gets in the Awesome NS Quotes thread.

Yeah. Pretty interesting.
Ask, and you shall recieve

[Astro-Malsitari WA Seat]

A man in a penis costume walks into the chamber and begins dancing on top of the Goobergunchian desk. As said desk, located along with others in the Rejected Realms delegation, is among the very front rows of the World Assembly Chamber, the display would be quite hard to avoid.

[Damanucus]

A man in a penis costume walks into the chamber and begins dancing on top of the Goobergunchian desk. As said desk, located along with others in the Rejected Realms delegation, is among the very front rows of the World Assembly Chamber, the display would be quite hard to avoid.

Yes, I remember that one. The OP then abandoned it in, unfortunately, a huff.

[Generex]

On actual e-snails.

I'll probably get some of these guys: