Awesome/Funny NS quotes (not your own quotes, please)

[Risottia]

(The Official 2014 FIFA World Cup Thread)

Schadenfreude, the thread.

Nothing but epic truth... especially about the Spanish performance.

[The Grey Wolf]

If I lose to Dragomere, I may literally die.

Can I have honour of making sure that you manage in committing proper Sudoku?

[Cannot think of a name]

Do you have any source that all people who go to Hooters just see the waitresses as "tits with a plate"?

Do you not understand their business model or something?

[Lyttenburg]

You're not Churchill.

No I'm not. I'm a guy who may have (or may not have) figured out how the next major war goes down when he was 17 or 18. Forgive me whilst I take a moment to reflect over that.

Plus the Most Shy and Modest user of NSG, apparently.

[Jeckland]

Where is a good place for it?

https://www.fanfiction.net/movie/Frozen/

[Todlichebujoku]

https://www.fanfiction.net/movie/Frozen/

Context:

Why don't you take your 'fanfiction' somewhere they'd appreciate it, as you have been warned repeatedly for threadjacking and other such bs there, hm? Thanks.

[The Republic of Lanos]

Jedorian Team Fucking Sucks, Report finds

The Silver Rock, Jedoria's Finest News Source

A new report published by the Cornellian Cup Review Organization has confirmed that the Jedorian Association Football team fucking sucks. Based on their aggregate inability to score goals, prevent from being scored on, and regularly being shut out and embarrassed on the international stage, the report concluded that the entirety of the Jedorian team, from the coaches, the players, and the training staff are all a god damn disgrace.

"Frankly, we've never seen failure on such a magnitude." Said Lead Researcher William Jensan. "In fact, I don't think there's another football team in the region, nay, the world, that could even compare to the massive amounts of disappointment being emanated from the Jedorian team." Referencing such humiliating defeats such as the utter offensive failure against Gylias and L'Ossiene, the failure to close games against Rien and Shalum, yes, fucking Shalum for Christ's sake, and the general lack of any spark on either side of the field has left many researchers wondering if the sheer power of all the suckiness could possibly become so dense as to rip a whole through the fabric of space and time, dooming the entire world because the Jedorian team are fucking losers.

"Obviously, we're disappointed in ourselves." Said the piece of shit who calls himself a coach. "We've really let the fans down, and our nation." Continued the man who deserves to have his skull caved in with a fucking shovel. The dipshit went on to say that the team will have to regroup and find out why they suck huge balls in everything they do.

Sources confirmed that the cunts are dead the moment they step foot back inside Jedoria.

[Farnhamia]

Context:

Why don't you take your 'fanfiction' somewhere they'd appreciate it, as you have been warned repeatedly for threadjacking and other such bs there, hm? Thanks.

More context:

Why don't you take your 'fanfiction' somewhere they'd appreciate it, as you have been warned repeatedly for threadjacking and other such bs there, hm? Thanks.

Where is a good place for it?

[Mavorpen]

Wanting to only date people exclusively from one race is a little bit racist. You obviously don't think non-white girls measure up in some way (looks?) or you wouldn't have a preference. Some people on here are saying it's not racist, it's just a preference.

It is a preference. It's a preference based on race.

A racist preference.

Because you are a racist.

You racist

Normally I wouldn't have laughed at this, but... I don't know, something about the way it's structured I guess.

[Kumuri]

Jack O Land wrote:

Essentially, all Internet debates (with a few exceptions, I'm sure) are just two circlejerks wildly crashing into each other into a loud, frothy tornado of links to Wikipedia and blogs, circular arguments, and semantics. They can go on for days, and in the end nobody has convinced anyone. I chase these tornadoes, and I try to separate them without getting too sticky.

[Cannot think of a name]

Jack O Land wrote:

Essentially, all Internet debates (with a few exceptions, I'm sure) are just two circlejerks wildly crashing into each other into a loud, frothy tornado of links to Wikipedia and blogs, circular arguments, and semantics. They can go on for days, and in the end nobody has convinced anyone. I chase these tornadoes, and I try to separate them without getting too sticky.

Hit quote on the original post, copy the contents including the quote tag, then paste it in the reply box here.

[Kumuri]

Jack O Land wrote:

Essentially, all Internet debates (with a few exceptions, I'm sure) are just two circlejerks wildly crashing into each other into a loud, frothy tornado of links to Wikipedia and blogs, circular arguments, and semantics. They can go on for days, and in the end nobody has convinced anyone. I chase these tornadoes, and I try to separate them without getting too sticky.

Hit quote on the original post, copy the contents including the quote tag, then paste it in the reply box here.

wow didn't even notice that there was a quote tag
thanks

[Nationstatelandsville]

New York has a nice flag.

In the centre, we have some kind of lake, and behind that is Mt. Everest I guess. Behind that is the sun from Teletubbies. To the left, we have a Wiccan chick with the Sorting Hat from Harry Potter on the end of a pole. She's also stepping on a crown, because fuck Great Britain. To the right, there's a blind chick with a sword in one hand and scales in the other, probably symbolising how we love to gauge eyes out. At the bottom, we have "Excelsior", the catchphrase of New York's national animal Stan Lee. And at the top, we have the soaring eagle of Rome perched atop the Earth to symbolise how we own you bitches.

[Risottia]

Also, what is the difference between England and a tea bag?

A tea bag stays longer in the cup.

[Soldati Senza Confini]

]

OP, may I suggest you refer to Matt 22:15-22. It's the parable of the Herodians that appeared before Jesus with a coin bearing Caesar's image. Jesus said, "Give to Caesar what is Caesar's, and to God what is God's."

So many modern Christians point to that verse as the basis of "God's nation" without understanding what Jesus meant.

"Rabbinism ruled that the right of coinage appertained to the ruler of a state, and was a proof of de facto government, which it was unlawful to resist. The current coin, which they used in their daily transactions, showed that the Jews were no longer independent, but set under and acquiescing in a foreign domination. Being subjects of Caesar, it was their duty to submit to his demands, and to pay the taxes which he had a right to levy. This was an answer to the insidious question propounded. Christ does not take either side in the controversy; he makes no question of the mutual rights of conquered and conquerors; he utters no aspiration for the recovery of independence; he uses facts as they are, and points to habitual practice as a sufficient solution of the difficulty. No reply could be wiser or simpler. Herein he gives a lesson for all time. No plea of religion can hold good against obedience to lawful authority. "Render to all their dues," says St. Paul (Romans 13:7): "tribute to whom tribute is due; custom to whom custom; fear to whom fear; honour to whom honour." The things that are God's; τὰ τοῦ Θεοῦ. The things of God arc ourselves - our life, powers, faculties, means; to use these in God's service is our duty and our privilege. There need be no conflict between religion and politics, Church and state. Let a citizen do his duty to God, and he will find his obligations to the civil power are coincident and harmonious. Let the state respect the rights of God and of conscience, and there will he no collision between itself and the Church, but both will peaceably cooperate for the good of the community" -Williams, Deane, Chaffin, St. Matthew, Volume 2, footnote.

Jesus never said to form a Christian nation. What he said was to preach his message to all the lands and, if that message wasn't wanted, wipe the dust from your feet and move on. The very concept of a non-secular nation flies in the face of what Christ taught (it smacks somewhat of Paulism and, later, churches).

A nation isn't a living entity. It's a collective body governed by some human or group of humans which insists that a specific territory is rightfully their own. Nations are born, nations die. People come and go. Nothing is intended to last forever because humans are not static beings. Christ never concerned himself with nations. His concern was the individual.

What profits a secular nation? To begin with, it doesn't concern itself over which is the correct doctrine. Even the United States, founded upon the principles of religious freedom, doesn't attempt to uphold a non-secular stance. This doesn't mean "free from all religion". It means "free to embrace the doctrines which serve you best and which you best serve". Otherwise, we would need to ask you, OP, which doctrine do you personally uphold and deem the only doctrine? Baptist? Catholic? Mormon? Some small unaffiliated fundamentalist church in Podunk, TN? Which doctrine is God's only Holy Doctrine? Which translation is God's only Holy Bible? Which man made and interest-influenced doctrine will that nation be founded upon and how will you possibly hinder the people from thinking up ways to alter it?

You stated, "So what's the point of having a secular nation in the first place? A nation that acknowledges God will live forever -- that's scriptural. Any nation that chooses to follow God will continue to be blessed and rewarded -- not just now, but also forever."

You are spouting the very thing some of those silly Jews spouted when they realized Jesus wasn't there to overthrow Rome. "But God said..." No. Jesus came to spread a different message, one that concerned itself with salvation and not earthly rule. The scriptures you cling to are OT in the Christian bible. You've neglected Christ's Gospel Message of the NT by insisting we all adhere to a political way of thinking which Jesus firmly negated. The point of a secular nation, you see, is that there is freedom to spread that Gospel message. God uses secular nations for his own good. If you don't believe that, then I must ask if you lack trust in God to see his own work to fruition.

Christ was intelligent. He realized that the individual was more important than the whole, but that people (on the whole) tended to twist things to suit their needs. That selfish nonsense was going on when he was alive. It goes on still today. Jesus didn't seek to overthrow Rome and reform the land into "God's country". (He clearly stated his kingdom was in heaven and not earth, a fact that royally pissed off the Jews who were awaiting a secular messiah who would overthrow Rome and reclaim their nation for God). Thus, Christ set out to change hearts.

There aren't any altar calls on NS. No one sways another with preaching. If you love the Lord, then do his works... meaning, live your life as an example of mercy and love rather than presuming that it's your calling to be a noise box. (Consider, also, that the Holy Spirit moves through men and guides their words. Jesus spoke to the masses that had gathered specifically to hear him, but his best work was when he was addressing the individual.) Scattering seeds on a NS forum is no better than scattering them on rocks. Wipe the dust and tend the individual soul. Show us God's mercy through compassionate and supportive posts here. Reveal it through helpful actions. Foster it by reaching out with gentle love to those who seem downhearted and lost, and then... only when they've blinked a few times and asked you what the secret to your joy is... then reveal that it's Christ that guides you. That's the best way to minister in my opinion, OP.

Not funny, but awesome nevertheless.

[The Empire of Pretantia]

...No.

You know what, nevermind, I'll just walk away.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=08R-c8Hid_E

Even the youtube link tells you to hide your eyes from what's coming.

Edited for spelling.

[Big Jim P]

But his freedoms.

But our forums.

[Soldati Senza Confini]

Just because the highest point in Bell county is only 600 meters, does not mean is is not a hill.

600 metres? Well, it appears not everything is bigger in Texas. So teeny tiny.

[Tsaraine]

The England team visited an orphanage in Brazil today.
"It's heartbreaking to see their sad little faces with no hope,"' said José, age 6.

(Context: England, normally a World Cup powerhouse, failed miserably and is out of the Cup after two matches.)

[Big Jim P]

Sweet Lightly Salted Buttery Jesus.

are we talking snack food here or have you found religion?

[Murkwood]

This is such a dad joke, and I don't know why I laughed at it, but I did.

People in us eat rabbit

You have people in you?

[Wisconsin9]

The England team visited an orphanage in Brazil today.
"It's heartbreaking to see their sad little faces with no hope,"' said José, age 6.

(Context: England, normally a World Cup powerhouse, failed miserably and is out of the Cup after two matches.)

I had to go over it again before I got it, but oh my God that's hilarious.

[KoloToure]

(Context: England, normally a World Cup powerhouse, failed miserably and is out of the Cup after two matches.)

I had to go over it again before I got it, but oh my God that's hilarious.

It's an old, old football joke.

[Priory Academy USSR]

I had to go over it again before I got it, but oh my God that's hilarious.

It's an old, old football joke.

Of course, the best AQ there was from Tsaraine:

(Context: England, normally a World Cup powerhouse, failed miserably and is out of the Cup after two matches.)

Emphasis mine.

[Maklohi Vai]

Context: USA v Portugal, USA just scored. Portgual earlier lost 4-0 to Germany.

Taste Freedom, 4tonull.