Awesome/Funny NS quotes (not your own quotes, please)

[Anollasia]

Most of NSG would be living in a slum in Liberia.

This is so true.

[Reploid Productions]

Possibly only funny to SoCal natives (especially greater Los Angeles area natives,) but this post cracked me up as a brilliant tearing-down of the OP's nonsensical correlation of random nutcase criminal in "Hollywood" as indicative of... something?... about California's "Liberal safety laws."

Oh, I missed that it was North Holllywood.

Okay, OP, this is confusing to outsiders, but there are a few different Hollywoods out there.

Hollywood itself is a sleazy tourist trap, populated mostly by tourists and people on the fringe of the fringe of what's known around here as The Industry. People tend to be all over the place politically, but apathetic in practice. Socially quite libertarian

West Hollywood is a gay mecca, mostly populated by hipsters, well-to-do members of the LGBT community, artists supported by their parents, and dilettantes. Mainstream Democrat for the most part, with some Greens, some Libertarians, and a few self-described anarchists.

North Hollywood is actually more San Fernando Valley than anything, and alternates between a gentrified "NoHo Arts Community" and strip mall blight, with endless apartment complexes. It's about as moderate politically as things get around here, but mostly apathetic.

This gunman was holed up in lower middle class suburbs, in other words.

EDIT: I forgot to mention the Hollywood controlled by the Jews, that which puts out an endless stream of violent movies to drive kids crazy while simultaneously forcing your children to watch gay sex acts performed by communist Muslims to a soundtrack performed by pot-smoking gangster rappers. It's populated by Jewish people, gays, scary black folks, illegal aliens looking to steal your vote, Democrats looking to keep the poor hooked on malt liquor and food stamps, and is located, as CTOAN so kindly pointed out, in your mind.

[Genivaria]

LaVeyan Satanism is really just Objectivism given the face of a religion.

Because it's less shameful to admit you follow Satan than it is to admit you follow Ayn Rand.

[Yumyumsuppertime]

Because it's less shameful to admit you follow Satan than it is to admit you follow Ayn Rand.

Freaking perfect. I'm outright stealing that.

[Soldati Senza Confini]

Fuck rules, I'm a nazi.

(Image)

I'm a furry who invaded Heaven and pissed on the Buddha hundreds of years before you were born.

Have fun living in my shadow.

[The Archregimancy]

The best part was when Arch thought that was a legit question.

In my ever so slight defence, it wouldn't have been the strangest question I've ever fielded as a moderator; not even close.

And at least I had the good grace to with embarrassment once I realised my mistake....

[Grenartia]

Because it's less shameful to admit you follow Satan than it is to admit you follow Ayn Rand.

Dear gods thats amazing. Fucking sigging.

The best part was when Arch thought that was a legit question.

In my ever so slight defence, it wouldn't have been the strangest question I've ever fielded as a moderator; not even close.

And at least I had the good grace to with embarrassment once I realised my mistake....

Well, since this an awesome quotes thread, could you, by any chance post some of the more hilarious ones?

[Wisconsin9]

There is no "gay agenda." Such a thing just doesn't exist.

Well I did see your day planner, which for some reason you labeled "The Gay Agenda". Oh you might want to move your 11am lunch to 12, lotsa new paperwork has come in for you.

[Constaniana]

My inner P2TM elitist approves of this.

II has no room for purposeful shitposting, it has enough accidental shitpoting.

[Degenerate Heart of HetRio]

Re: Why do people hate Jews?

Because their hats are too small and look funny. Seriously. Get a real hat. Like a fedora.

[The Republic of Lanos]

So do you think we should do the same for all the other groups people mock?

No, we should stop mocking people on the internet for being different jesus christ this isn't hard man

Also:

"The Fishmonger's Finger: raising NS media to a higher standard."

Welcome. You're reading the best news thread in all of NS Gameplay, brought to you by someone who doesn't really play anymore yet still plans to bring you quality material that's full of facts and things so that you know what's going on. The text is black on a white or ivory background, there aren't any pictures yet (but there might be some eventually), and it's all entirely factual and NS-related. We'll see if it survives past its first issue.

Wednesday, June 11, 2014:
HOW MILOGRAD PLANS TO FUCK YOUR FAMILY

Recently some people in Osiris pitched a fit and closed the embassy with Lazarus. Some stuff was said in private chats, some people got mad, and things are pretty much the same as they've been for the past few years. I should probably go read whatever Osiris posted regarding this decision.

Okay. I read the announcement. Cormac said some cool stuff about how Osiris was going to be tough. He threw a lot of words together in an articulate fashion. He says a lot of stuff about acts of aggression and allies and hostility and whatever. A dude posted a clappy face afterwards. Not bad.

Before I wrote this I decided to talk to Lazarus delegate Milograd about stuff that was happening. This is what he had to say.

[12:16:10 AM] AMOM: sup fool
[12:16:15 AM] AMOM: this is an interview
[12:16:18 AM] AMOM: so be like
[12:16:20 AM] AMOM: formal and shit
[12:16:37 AM] AMOM: I'm playing from the sidelines here; in all honesty, I have no fucking idea what's going on
[12:16:46 AM] AMOM: give me the scoop: what is happening between Osi and Laz?
[12:16:53 AM] AMOM: you're still delegate of Laz, right?
[12:18:45 AM] milograd: Okay.
[12:18:45 AM] milograd: Hello.
[12:18:46 AM] milograd: Nah.
[12:18:46 AM] milograd: And Osiris just closed relations because we're plotting to invade Balder or something?
[12:19:20 AM] AMOM: tell me about your plans to invade Baldy
[12:21:03 AM] AMOM: sounds difficult, what with UIAF so entrenched there
[12:21:37 AM] milograd: Well, Cormac was right. The LLA -- a military that is currently constitutionally barred from invading -- was going to send troops into Balder and right up overthrow the regime. We're very sneaky like that.
[12:22:04 AM] milograd: And the State Council signed off on the invasion papers, we sent three non-WA puppets posing as TEK to carry out the deed.
[12:22:18 AM] milograd: We originally planned to do it on the anniversary of D-Day, but then we realized that we were 91 troops short.
[12:22:29 AM] milograd: So we cried ourselves to sleep and hit up the nearest liquore store.
[12:22:34 AM] milograd: Literally. We burned it down.
[12:22:47 AM] AMOM: that's fucking diabolical
[12:22:52 AM] AMOM: I didn't know you had the means to invade Balder
[12:22:57 AM] AMOM: wait a minute, never mind
[12:22:59 AM] AMOM: I wasn't reading
[12:23:05 AM] milograd: Now we are replanning our vicious invasion of Balder.
[12:23:36 AM] AMOM: I heard from an unnamed source that may or may not be Karpathos that you are planning to fuck everyone's family
[12:23:37 AM] milograd: Yep.
[12:24:04 AM] milograd: Also true.
[12:24:14 AM] milograd: We ordered the condoms en mass.
[12:24:26 AM] milograd: Karp is a very sly spy. I have no clue how he got an in at Amazon.
[12:24:35 AM] milograd: (I suppose the 54 gallons of lube may've been a giveaway.)
[12:24:41 AM] milograd: NONETHELESS.
[12:24:46 AM] AMOM: ever watched Whitest Kids You Know? I envision you doing things "Grapist" style
[12:24:50 AM] milograd: Our plans are not to be sidetracked.
[12:25:14 AM] milograd: I don't have a television because my region is too poor to afford one.
[12:25:16 AM] AMOM: no, I'm sure you're saving the fun for later
[12:25:29 AM] milograd: Oh my goodness gracious.
[12:25:31 AM] AMOM: well, I suppose Communism does come with a price
[12:25:45 AM] milograd: So does 54 gallons of lube.
[12:25:59 AM] milograd: And paying the proxy guys to help me multi.
[12:26:12 AM] AMOM: in all seriousness, though
[12:27:30 AM] AMOM: how does Laz even have the money for all that lube after buying all those votes for Feux during his last election
[12:27:50 AM] milograd: Stole them from Vik.
[12:27:53 AM] milograd: Of course.
[12:28:04 AM] milograd: Cut that. We stole them from the TNI Bank.
[12:28:15 AM] AMOM: Thought you meant the lube for a moment there.
[12:28:24 AM] AMOM: moving on...
[12:28:55 AM] AMOM: how do you plan to react to Osi's recent removal of your embassy in the FA/PR department?
[12:29:12 AM] AMOM: I personally would recommend writing a retort
[12:29:28 AM] milograd: I like that recommendation.
[12:29:39 AM] milograd: We should include factual logs that are retroactively denied.
[12:29:59 AM] milograd: It works for the UIAF.
[12:30:01 AM] AMOM: I thought those were the only kind
[12:30:45 AM] AMOM: just make sure you throw in enough text to drown Manhattan
[12:30:58 AM] AMOM: even if you get lost in it yourself, they'll be lost too
[12:31:10 AM] milograd: How did you find out about my desire to drown Manhattan?
[12:31:15 AM] milograd: Did I not deny my desire to?
[12:32:10 AM] AMOM: by NS logic, if you haven't denied it you were clearly involved
[12:32:19 AM] AMOM: also by NS logic, if you denied it you were also clearly involved
[12:32:53 AM] AMOM: I don't need to guess about your plans to drown Manhattan or take over Balder
[12:33:42 AM] AMOM: anyway yeah
[12:33:46 AM] AMOM: I have no idea what else to ask you
[12:33:51 AM] AMOM: sounds like NS is still happening
[12:34:09 AM] milograd: Barely.
[12:34:41 AM] AMOM: that was a given
[12:35:22 AM] AMOM: before we wrap up, has anything truly noteworthy happened lately?
[12:35:51 AM] milograd: NES spurred political and electoral renewal in Balder and postage stamp prices are increasing.
[12:36:12 AM] AMOM: excluding events where the same people yell at each other for the same unspoken reasons then each pretend they've won by posting FA updates that only they read
[12:36:30 AM] AMOM: wow, that's pretty exciting
[12:37:17 AM] AMOM: the postage stamps, that is; must be hard on the collectors
[12:38:04 AM] milograd: Indeed.
[12:39:06 AM] AMOM: well, I think that about wraps shit up
[12:39:40 AM] AMOM: hopefully I'm not blinded by redtext as a result of this
[12:40:31 AM] AMOM: peace out
[12:40:46 AM] AMOM: say something to smooth the transition here
[12:40:50 AM] milograd: One Love.
[12:40:51 AM] AMOM: I'm ending the interview
[12:40:56 AM] AMOM: Oh, fuck you

Then we talked a little bit more but you don't need to see that here. It was good, though. We had a good time.

So, yeah, pretty sure that wraps things up. Now you know exactly what is going on. Milograd is coming. Hide your wife, hide your kids, and hide your husband. Laz is after Balder. Osiris saved the day. UIAF. The Fishmonger's Finger: keeping you informed or something. Giving you the scoop. No. Helping you ... whatever. Fuck it. That's enough.

AMOM

[Soldati Senza Confini]

You forgot the sweet buttery part of Jesus.

Jizz already fulfills that role, my dearest undead friend.

[Zaldakki]

I think this might be based on a huge misunderstanding, she probably told him to eat her out, so I bet she was damn surprised when he threw a piece of her thigh on the grill.

[Nanatsu no Tsuki]

Posted in the latest abortion thread:

Well I support abortion rights regardless, so yeah of course abortion should be allowed if the woman was raped.

This.Btw, Shie, I see you begun using your brain, good, we are making progress, in 20 years maybe you will understand that ''I lived there once, some 4000 years ago'' doesn't give you the right to take a territory.

For context, it seems this was supposed to go on the "Why people hate the Jews?" thread. The bold bit makes me laugh considering the topic of the thread it was posted in.

[Zaldakki]

Also,

United States President, Brock Obama.

I removed a bit but left the awesome part intact.

[Revanchism]

Is it bad I first read your name as "Herpadurp"?

Well, it's not as if I can stop you. The only thing I can do is to crawl into a corner and weep bitter tears.

[Nightkill the Emperor]

How the fuck is Croatia leading?

They have a new star player: Marcelo Viera.

[Soldati Senza Confini]

This whole trail of thought, mind, the ending quote was what made me laugh into histeria, I'm just provinding context:

Release the Kraken, Belgian!

That would make for a very awkward moment.

Release the Kraken!

*unzips*

Damn, that's... much less than I expected

Much less? The thing has tentacles.

I... am not sure... wut...

I didn't know you were into those things...

WAIT, NO.

I'M NOT. I WAS TALKING ABOUT THE KRAKEN.

[Nationstatelandsville]

Was the Crotatian goalie at a rave and didn't have time to change before he got to the stadium?

[Degenerate Heart of HetRio]

My nation already is getting invaded by Moslems.

General is ooc

Found this amusing

[Doughertania]

For context, this was for a combination game in F7.

Dystopian Collection + Fire = Fahrenheit 451

[The Republic of Lanos]

International war between regional powers?

"Fucking Christ Almighty," the spokesperson added.

[Farnhamia]

"Wait, Obama, come back, I really mean it this time! Obama!"

*Presidential car door slams and it drives off*

But yeah, another step in the right direction.

[The Archregimancy]

From the World Cup thread's discussion of the Russia - South Korea match last night...

Is Putin at the game?

If so, Russia has a big chance of winning. As South Korea scores their first goal, Putin will invade the field and play by himself against the South Koreans. And win by 67-0.5.

Is Putin at the game?

No, but "Pro-Russian militants suspiciously well-armed and trained for people supposedly just getting all their stuff at surplus stores and scribbling out the insignia" are, ready to intervene "to maintain peace" in case the Russian-speaking football team starts being oppressed.

[Revanchism]

I, for one, do not support the New Jersey Devils, for their name is disparaging to the hardworking Devil-American People of our nation, as it was used by early settlers as a demeaning name towards the original Devils of the continent.

Excuse me, I believe that the proper term is Satanic-American.