Awesome/Funny NS quotes (not your own quotes, please)

[The Republic of Lanos]

IIRC eating the liver of your fallen foes gives you their strength and courage. Or something like that. It's been a while since I had to invoke that ritual.

One of our employees ate a raw kidney and a raw liver and the only powers he gained was the ability to summon a massive hospital bill.

[Thafoo]

on a thread gravedig

Maybe we should put creationism in textbooks, we've got scientific evidence of resurrection right in this thread.

[Big Jim P]

on a thread gravedig

Maybe we should put creationism in textbooks, we've got scientific evidence of resurrection right in this thread.

Damn you ninja.

[Breadknife]

From the moderation thread, of a report of a "I have created a naked army!" OP that needed stomping upon...

http://forum.nationstates.net/viewtopic.php?f=5&t=286989

One of the tents of being a moderator is to clothe the needy. I have fulfilled my good deed for the day.

I left it a while, while considering it, but this was funny to me both because of Trans's (current, but also habitual) flag image and also because of the mental imagary of "tents" (rather than the doubtless intended "tenets") being involved in such an enclothing enterprise...

[Starvation Is Fun]

Didn't see this one posted here yet:

I don't like cancer. It's hard to make funny. I'd feel a lot more comfortable if being trampled by rabbits were the leading cause of death. I can pretty much joke about that without limit.

So please America, for me; Stop getting cancer. Breed rabbits instead. *nod*

[Degenerate Heart of HetRio]

TET. On finding out you're in a foreign place while you're having a weird dream.

The only times I'm not in Rio, I'm selling my body in Japan. *nods*

Damn, they'll make sushi out of anything.

[Lunatic Goofballs]

The human race is born with a natural instinct to worship some kind of higher being.

Source.

Shark Week.

[Bezombia]

Taken out of context, this is just gold:

For the last time, Max Barry is not immortal!

[Dread Lady Nathicana]

Surely, as is right and proper, ownership of NS will pass to his daughters with the rest of his estate.

Then they will send out the Summons. Mods and former mods -- ordinary people leading ordinary lives -- will abandon their mundane existences to answer the irresistible call implanted in their unknowing brains during arcane rituals in the secret depths of the ModCave: Come. Gather. The Decision is upon us.

By car, bus and train, by plane, boat and yak-cart, from teeming city and desert lair, from palace and from hovel, they will make their way to an obscure stronghold. Their bare feet will cross the ancient mosaic floors, heedless of the mystic symbols underfoot, treading even on the Reserved Names.

At last all will be present and the susurrus of greetings and renewed enmities will fade into awed silence at the entrance of an anonymous figure in blood-red armour. Bearing the great Hammer of Ban and the bejewelled palimpsests on which are writ the scarlet Texts of Warning, the appointed Executor will read aloud the dread words that encompass the Future of the Game.

WIll the Posters of Antiquity, clad in shining white, then emerge singing from the side of the mountain? Will a Golden Age ensue, when mods and posters work in harmony, the Great Nations are revived and the glorious names of yore walk among us scattering their benisons?

Or will competing claims split the glorious fabric of the Multiverse, and warring tribes pursue petty enmities across dark, empty plains where intelligent beings of all species once raised learning and civilisation to their greatest heights?

Perhaps a common-sense compromise will see matters continue much as before, with only occasional cosmetic changes to the well-established friendly format.

To find out, invest just 3007 NS Stamps and game your way to an answer with the official, multi-sided, geometrically unstable, flashing rainbow LED DIce of Decision, available only from Master Max's Memorial Merchandising (postage and packing extra).

Faites vos jeux, messieurs et mesdames.

---

WARNING: Your mileage may vary.

WARNING: This post has been found to contain dangerous concentrations of adjectives and may attract Thesauruses. Users should take precautions against accidental exposure to exiguous sanity and unwarranted extrapolation.

This ... is just beautiful. Behold, Ard - an NS treasure. XD

[Tiltjuice]

Room 101 will fix him.

Islamic Republic e Jariri doubleplusungood unduckspeaking thoughtcriminal.

Inner Party Minitrue and Miniluv Moderators bellyfeel Big Barry unending.

NationStates unending.

NationStates General unending.

Islamic Republic e Jariri must fullwise crimestop crimewriting.

If crimewriting speedwise unstop, Islamic Republic e Jariri joycamping unperson.


PS: Existence of NationStates 2 malreported untruth.

[The Archregimancy]

Tiltjuice fullwise plusgood righthinking blackwhite ModSoc duckspeaker.

[Ardchoille]

Behold, Ard - an NS treasure. XD

Not sure whether this means I should be polished, or locked up.

[Thafoo]

Tiltjuice fullwise plusgood righthinking blackwhite ModSoc duckspeaker.

Newthinker bellyfeel Arch.

[Lunatic Goofballs]

Behold, Ard - an NS treasure. XD

Not sure whether this means I should be polished, or locked up.

Can't it be both?

[Ruridova]

Tiltjuice fullwise plusgood righthinking blackwhite ModSoc duckspeaker.

Newthinker bellyfeel Arch.

Oldthinker unbellyfeel Big Barry, oldthinker bellyfeel crimethink, oldthinker bellyfeel Cyberstates, oldthinker enter Miniluv joycamp speedwise.

[Degenerate Heart of HetRio]

I know most of the ones long-term active on this forum always naturally agree with these ideas on this post, but it's still epic and deserves to be reproduced.

I think the most important thing about masculinity is that it's voluntary. Acting like a "real man" out of a wish to conform or due to peer pressure is not manly, it's forcing a role you don't want upon yourself because you're afraid of what other people would think of you. No.

Another thing is tolerance. I've met an unfortunately high amount of Manly Men^tm who thought they could assert their manliness by looking down on women, gays, transfolk and other groups who are socially weaker than they are. No. Besides being abhorrent, doing so shows that you are insecure. There's nothing more badass than treating someone with the respect they deserve. It's not manly to punch a queer. It's not manly to tell a woman to get back in the kitchen. It's not manly to mock a fellow man for not liking "manly" things and having no interest in cars, guns and steak (before you ask, I like cars, guns and steak myself).

Hatred and violence don't make a man.

[Jeckland]

You've been thinking about this too much...

Can we beat the shit out of her? Some people really do need the shit beaten out of them. I think she might be one of them. Just once. Medical professionals can be standing by to monitor the beating and make sure it doesn't become life threatening. But I think a righteous beating might just even the scales in some cases, and I feel this is just such a case. *nod*

[Ayreonia]

I know most of the ones long-term active on this forum always naturally agree with these ideas on this post, but it's still epic and deserves to be reproduced.

I think the most important thing about masculinity is that it's voluntary. Acting like a "real man" out of a wish to conform or due to peer pressure is not manly, it's forcing a role you don't want upon yourself because you're afraid of what other people would think of you. No.

Another thing is tolerance. I've met an unfortunately high amount of Manly Men^tm who thought they could assert their manliness by looking down on women, gays, transfolk and other groups who are socially weaker than they are. No. Besides being abhorrent, doing so shows that you are insecure. There's nothing more badass than treating someone with the respect they deserve. It's not manly to punch a queer. It's not manly to tell a woman to get back in the kitchen. It's not manly to mock a fellow man for not liking "manly" things and having no interest in cars, guns and steak (before you ask, I like cars, guns and steak myself).

Hatred and violence don't make a man.

Why thank you, my friend.

[Lordieth]

Edit: Nevermind. Wrong thread.

[Anollasia]

The Federal States of Corenea cpngratulations the coronation of Queen Annete to the throne and we also hope for a very good diplomacy between the two great nations and hope for the Queen to institute some reforms as promised

Whee-wew! You've been arrested by the Grammar Police.

OFFENSE:
Misspelling of 'congratulations', run-on sentence, failure to add any punctuation at the end of a sentence.
SENTENCE:
5 days in the Grammar Institution, majoring in run-on sentences, also taking punctuation and spelling on the side.

[Strider Hiryu]

Palin and Putin sittin' in a tree.
N-U-K, I-N-G.
First comes MAD, then comes marriage (of atoms).
...then everyone dies.

You know, this does make it more amusing if there is some sort of Mallory Archer thing going on between Palin and Putin.

"Oh, Vlad. I wish the world could understand us."
"Aye, Palinchka. But our stars are love crossed." (I don't know who to imitate a Russian accent, except maybe they just add -chka randomly?)
"On clear nights I feel like I can see...."
"Yes, yes. See my house from your house. You've said this before --- it makes no sense."
"Like our love."
"Yes, Sarahchka. Like our love."

[Big Jim P]

Low hanging fruit.

If it hung any lower it'd be a potato.

[Degenerate Heart of HetRio]

I think I gonna leave this thread. I am busy and has many things to do. I spent a lot of time talking with these folks.

Don´t go. I´ll feel like the only straight guy in a gay village. It´s scary.

Reply:

I'm gay? Someone should probably tell my fiancee.

No, no, it's not that you are gay. The village is gay, and ready for some hot township-on-township action. The hamlet is ready to go downtown, do some serious zoning near the suburbs, make sure there's plenty of abodes in the surrounding region if you know what I mean, and really plant the locale in the vicinity of the district all nite long. Oooh yeah!

-snip-

Absolutely not! Think of the parking lots!

[StellarGate]

source?

You can find that source under the bridge. Just make sure to leave your goats at home.

I laughed.

[Big Jim P]

You can find that source under the bridge. Just make sure to leave your goats at home.

I laughed.

That thread is a goldmine of laughs.