If the USA had to lose a state...

[Unilisia]

But then you'd have a 3rd world country mixed in with your country... I say give Alaska back to us Russian's

Meanwhile, use Mississippi for nuclear testing.

Some of us might not appreciate getting irradiated,

Maybe as long as it's northern Mississippi I can let it go, I can do without them, but the Coast has to be protected,

The South can go back to Spain.

[Pope Joan]

I don't think Mississippi has a lot to offer.

At least Alabama has Mussel Shoals.

Who would take it over?

How about the Cayman Islands, make it a banking paradise.

[Maurepas]

Some of us might not appreciate getting irradiated,

Maybe as long as it's northern Mississippi I can let it go, I can do without them, but the Coast has to be protected,

I've gone through Northern Mississippi before, theres no one up there.

There are people there, I just wouldn't recommend seeking any of them out.

[St George of England]

I don't think Mississippi has a lot to offer.

At least Alabama has Mussel Shoals.

Who would take it over?

How about the Cayman Islands, make it a banking paradise.

No thank you, seeing as the Caymans are a British dependency, and we'd end up footing the bill.

[The Archregimancy]

The Kingdom of Hawai'i is under US occupation illegal by the standards of international law. Of course, if the occupation were lifted, Hawai'i would probably become a republic.

If they held a referendum, would they vote to secede?

Probably not, though native Hawaiians might point out that the demographics of the island have changed somewhat since the illegal annexation.

When Europeans - James Cook - first encountered the islands, there were anywhere between 250-800 thousand native Hawaiians. In a familiar tale of European contact with indigenous groups with no established resistance to Western diseases, this had fallen to c.40,000 by the 1900 US census. When combined with an influx of White settlers and Asian labourers, this meant that the Native Hawaiian population was only about 26% of the total population of Hawaii (40,000 out of 155,000) at the time of the same 1900 US census.

According to the 2010 US census, native Hawaiians are now only 9% of the islands' population, out of a total population of 1,360,000. Whites are some 25%, and Asian-Americans another 38.5%.

So facts on the ground have changed enough that any referendum on secession would be futile.

In the purely hypothetical case that any such referendum were to be held - which it won't - I would, however, be interested in seeing what percentage of native Hawaiians would vote in favour.

[Wiztopia]

Texas. We would be better without it.

[GeneralHaNor]

Texas. We would be better without it.

I'll say it again...Oil

I hope Texas leaves, and becomes prosperous when it no longer has all this dead weight to support

[Wiztopia]

Texas. We would be better without it.

I'll say it again...Oil

I hope Texas leaves, and becomes prosperous when it no longer has all this dead weight to support

The U.S. average intelligence would raise without Texas.

[Lackadaisical2]

I'll say it again...Oil

I hope Texas leaves, and becomes prosperous when it no longer has all this dead weight to support

The U.S. average intelligence would raise without Texas.

IQ maybe, but what good are test scores anyway?

[Wiztopia]

The U.S. average intelligence would raise without Texas.

IQ maybe, but what good are test scores anyway?

I'm just purposely being asinine about their policies. Such as cutting out Thomas Jefferson from textbooks for not being Christian enough. Along with some Texans I know who are against abortion for any reason.

[Brandenburg-Altmark]

Texas. We would be better without it.

I'll say it again...Oil

I hope Texas leaves, and becomes prosperous when it no longer has all this dead weight to support

Yeah, they'd definitely prosper with their budget deficits despite oil royalties and slashing the budget to ribbons.

[Montanaa]

I say Wyoming. Little population, too damn many cows, and just a waste of air!

Thats a pretty strong case for keeping them around, I want their cow meat.

Buy Montana cows. Better than those Wyoming cows. I hear they give them cyanide and such!
I also happen to make a living off ranches in the northwest region. Where we don't give our cows cyanide.

[Brauzillia]

I rather let the corporation loose it's subsidiary, although not a "state", it's Washington DC

[The Black Forrest]

I rather let the corporation loose it's subsidiary, although not a "state", it's Washington DC

But the Smithsonian?

[The Black Forrest]

Texas. We would be better without it.

I'll say it again...Oil

I hope Texas leaves, and becomes prosperous when it no longer has all this dead weight to support

So all the oil tankers go somewhere else......

[Sociobiology]

Thats a pretty strong case for keeping them around, I want their cow meat.

Buy Montana cows. Better than those Wyoming cows. I hear they give them cyanide and such!
I also happen to make a living off ranches in the northwest region. Where we don't give our cows cyanide.

F- em both less than 5% of US cattle production between them, little New Jersey produces more cows. Those two states are only useful for the valuable rocks under them, and wyoming has yellowstone so pretty too, (and I lived in them for ten years, and I still could give less than $#!+ about ranchers who suckle at the government tit while b!#%^ing about how the government shouldn't be in the business of welfare. Guess what government subsidized land, and feed, and antibiotics, and infrastructure, and compensation thats all welfare,millions in welfare in Wyoming alone, and they have the balls to complain about taxes while leaching off productive states.

wow that was cathartic, I can only take so much hypocrisy, and I guess this is better than punching so random guy.
Just let Texas secede again, they'll realize how big and scary the world is and beg to be let back in just like last time.

[Waldo followers]

California to, i dont care who i just want them gone!

[Zanazbar]

Alaska...

[Wikkiwallana]

I like this idea almost as much as my own.

yea but mine involves everyone backing the confederates, means we can have an America that might be better...hopefuly!

I know it's 20 pages late, but I just started reading the thread: Fuck that shit. It's a very good thing the CSA didn't win the Civil War.


Anyway, as for what state to lose, I'm not sure. The really conservative states that I disagree with I'm afraid would get taken over by Dominionists and I don't want that to happen, and losing any of the more liberal states would mean losing their stabilizing influence on the country.

[Dagnia]

Getting rid of Florida would certainly solve our social security problems. California, Vermont, Alaska and Texas sometimes want to be independent and those states are either filled with weird leftist pedophile enablers (look how many times Vermont has been in the news for that) or nuts who equate abortion with genocide.

[Wikkiwallana]

There are always other ways..


Dear Americans

To the citizens of the United States of America...

In the light of your failure to elect a proper President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective today.

Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths and other territories. (Except Utah, which she does not fancy.) Your new prime minister (The Right Honourable David Cameron, MP for the 97.85% of you who have until now been unaware that there is a world outside your borders) will appoint a minister for America without the need for further elections. Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire will be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed. To aid the transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:

1. You should look up "revocation" in the Oxford English Dictionary. Then look up "aluminium". Check the pronunciation guide. You will be amazed at just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it. The letter 'U' will be reinstated in words such as 'favour' and 'neighbour', skipping the letter 'U' is nothing more than laziness on your part. Likewise, you will learn to spell 'doughnut' without skipping half the letters. You will end your love affair with the letter 'Z' (pronounced 'zed' not 'zee'). You will learn that the suffix 'burgh is pronounced 'burra' e.g. Edinburgh. You are welcome to respell Pittsburgh as 'Pittsberg' if you can't cope with correct pronunciation. Generally, you should raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. Look up "vocabulary". Using the same twenty seven words interspersed with filler noises such as "like" and "you know" is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. Look up "interspersed". There will be no more 'bleeps' in the Jerry Springer show. If you're not old enough to cope with bad language then you shouldn't have chat shows. When you learn to develop your vocabulary then you won't have to use bad language as often.

2. There is no such thing as "US English". We will let Microsoft know on your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take account of the reinstated letter 'u'.

3. You should learn to distinguish the English and Australian accents. It really isn't that hard. English accents are not limited to Cockney, upper-class twit or Mancunian (Daphne in Frasier). You will also have to learn how to understand regional accents - Scottish dramas such as "Taggart" will no longer be broadcast with subtitles. While we're talking about regions, you must learn that there is no such place as Devonshire in England. The name of the county is "Devon". If you persist in calling it Devonshire, all American States will become "shires" e.g. Texasshire, Floridashire, Louisianashire.

4. A Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as the good guys. B Hollywood will be required to cast English actors to play English characters. British sit-coms such as "Men Behaving Badly" or "Red Dwarf" will not be re-cast and watered down for a wishy-washy American audience who can't cope with the humour of occasional political incorrectness.

5. You should relearn your original national anthem, "God Save The Queen", but only after fully carrying out task 1. We would not want you to get confused and give up half way through.

6. You should stop playing American "football". There is only one kind of football. What you refer to as American "football" is not a very good game. The 2.15% of you who are aware that there is a world outside your borders may have noticed that no one else plays "American" football. You will no longer be allowed to play it, and should instead play proper football. Initially, it would be best if you played with the girls. It is a difficult game. Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which is similar to American "football", but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like nancies). We are hoping to get together at least a US rugby sevens side by 2011. You should stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host an event called the 'World Series' for a game which is not played outside of America. Since only 2.15% of you are aware that there is a world beyond your borders, your error is understandable. Instead of baseball, you will be allowed to play a girls' game called "rounders" which is baseball without fancy team strip, oversized gloves, collector cards or hotdogs.

7. You should declare war on Quebec and France, using nuclear weapons if they give you any merde. The 97.85% of you who were not aware that there is a world outside your borders should count yourselves lucky. The Russians have never been the bad guys. "Merde" is French for "Shit". You will no longer be allowed to own or carry guns. You will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more dangerous in public than a vegetable peeler. Because we don't believe you are sensible enough to handle potentially dangerous items, you will require a permit if you wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public.

8. July 4th is no longer a public holiday. November 2nd will be a new national holiday, but only in England. It will be called "Indecisive Day".

9. All American cars are hereby banned. They are crap and it is for your own good. When we show you German cars, you will understand what we mean. All road intersections will be replaced with roundabouts. You will start driving on the left with immediate effect. At the same time, you will go metric with immediate effect and without the benefit of conversion tables. Roundabouts and metrication will help you understand the British sense of humour.

10. You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call French fries are not real chips. Fries aren't even French, they are Belgian though 97.85% of you (including the guy who discovered fries while in Europe) are not aware of a country called Belgium. Those things you insist on calling potato chips are properly called "crisps". Real chips are thick cut and fried in animal fat. The traditional accompaniment to chips is beer which should be served warm and flat. Waitresses will be trained to be more aggressive with customers.

11. As a sign of penance 5 grams of sea salt per cup will be added to all tea made within the Commonwealth of Massachusetts, this quantity to be doubled for tea made within the city of Boston itself.

12. The cold tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually beer at all, it is lager. From November 1st only proper British Bitter will be referred to as "beer", and European brews of known and accepted provenance will be referred to as "Lager".

The substances formerly known as "American Beer" will henceforth be referred to as "Near-Frozen Gnats' Urine", with the exception of the product of the American Budweiser company whose product will be referred to as "Weak Near-Frozen Gnats' Urine". This will allow true Budweiser (as manufactured for the last 1000 years in Pilsen, Czech Republic) to be sold without risk of confusion.

13. From December 1st the UK will harmonise petrol (or "Gasoline" as you will be permitted to keep calling it until April 1st 2012) prices with the former USA. The UK will harmonise its prices to those of the former USA and the Former USA will, in return, adopt UK petrol prices roughly $6/US gallon - get used to it).

14. You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers or therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows that you're not adult enough to be independent. Guns should only be handled by adults. If you're not adult enough to sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist then you're not grown up enough to handle a gun.

15. Please tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us crazy.

Tax collectors from Her Majesty's Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all revenues due (backdated to 1776).
__________________

1&2. No. Don't make me send Zombi Noah Webster after you.

3. I'd love to hear you try to say "Mississippishire" or "Tennesseeshire".

4. A. Patrick Stewart, Ian McKellan B. Agreed

5 . Royalty is a dumb idea.

6. Whatever, sports are silly anyway.

7. I don't see a problem with that.

8. You can have my fireworks and cookouts when you pry them from my cold, dead hands.

9. Again something we agree on, the gas hogs need to die.

10. See 8.

11. Although I do not drink tea and do not live in Massachusetts, I cannot abide such a severe imposition on the innocent current residents of the state for petty revenge over something done by the now deceased. Unless you do it without warning them and I get to watch.

12. I don't drink, but from what I have heard, this sounds entirely reasonable.

13. It's not our fault your government overtaxes your fuel supply, jealousy will not solve the problem. Further we will continue to call it gasoline instead of petrol for as long as it is not raw petroleum.

14. If we do that, what will we use for daytime TV?

15. Oh, that's simple it was REDACTED

The tax collectors can pick up their money at 1 Moonshine Holler, Appalachia. Be sure to introduce yourselves as "the revenue" to expedite the transaction.

[Vecherd]

Hawai`i or Alaska I suppose.

[Wikipedia and Universe]

Wisconsin, but don't listen to be 'cause I'm pissed about the Super Bowl.

[Mike the Progressive]

Wisconsin, but don't listen to be 'cause I'm pissed about the Super Bowl.

^This.

[Dazchan]

Alaska, to the Canadians.

Or Texas secedes to form its own theocracy.