My Friend is Pondering Suicide...

[Spredronia]

Like Reppy said, your friend is ultimately the decider of his fate. It isn't your fault whether he kills himself or not.

Also on Reppy's part, these threads aren't for an Internet forum.

Finally, like everyone else is saying, your friend also needs professional help. This may be a bit dark, but professional help can tip the scales in your favor, but ultimately that small decision may have the biggest impact and keep him away until he gets over her, or it won't do anything at all. Your friend is the ultimate decider, you aren't the boss. If he kills himself, it isn't your fault. But if he does not, you've gotten through one of the toughest parts of a teenager's life - one that happens commonly - and so has he.

I'm sorry if it's a bit dark, and I really hope your friend pulls through. I also hope he's craving attention.

[Conserative Morality]

Thank you, thats my motto,dont let the bastards win! stay in the fight,make your life better! nothing galls your enemies more than YOU living well.

Nil Carborundum Illegetimi.

[Mad hatters in jeans]

Thank you, thats my motto,dont let the bastards win! stay in the fight,make your life better! nothing galls your enemies more than YOU living well.

As a thorough-going bastard myself, I'd just like to point out that we usually win in the end anyways, whether you give up or not. So you might as well save yourself the trouble.

that's what they want you to think.
remember there is no end.

[Heinleinites]

Thank you, thats my motto,dont let the bastards win! stay in the fight,make your life better! nothing galls your enemies more than YOU living well.

As a thorough-going bastard myself, I'd just like to point out that we usually win in the end anyways, whether you give up or not. So you might as well save yourself the trouble.

that's what they want you to think.
remember there is no end.

Then what did Jim Morrison sing?

[Brogavia]

Take him rope shopping.

[Nanatsu no Tsuki]

Take him rope shopping.

That is quite mean of you to say.

[Voltairian Prospects]

It may only be me... but, I would sit with him whenever I got the chance and point out all the finer(sp?) parts of his life, make him feel important and cared about, let him know the void it would leave behind if he did kill himself.
And if all else fails let him know just how selfish suicide is.

[Lizardiar]

For about a month or so now, my good friend Gregory has been talking about suicide.

I've been talking to him online for quite some time, and he'll even mention it sometimes in person. It's over a girl he knows, he's really believing she's the central cause of his life being in seemingly shattered ruins.

At first I talked to him and he seemed like he'd be okay, but it's getting progressively worse.

Personally, at the end of every talk, I'll remind him that I am no person to choose how he handles his situation, I've brought up my experiences, my religious views, my alternative solutions. Nothing I do does anything more than give him a sense of friendship, comfort, and understanding from me, and the next time we talk, he brings suicide up again.

I don't know what to do and I'm very worried.

The Romeo way of thinking...damn, that's a hard one.....does he have a good family? Lots of friends? Recent things to live for? Dogs? Cats? Hamsters?

[Intestinal fluids]

It may only be me... but, I would sit with him whenever I got the chance and point out all the finer(sp?) parts of his life, make him feel important and cared about, let him know the void it would leave behind if he did kill himself.
And if all else fails let him know just how selfish suicide is.

Be careful, if you sucessfully console a crazy suicidal person, they will want you to do so every few weeks until your the one that wants to kill himself.

[Voltairian Prospects]

It may only be me... but, I would sit with him whenever I got the chance and point out all the finer(sp?) parts of his life, make him feel important and cared about, let him know the void it would leave behind if he did kill himself.
And if all else fails let him know just how selfish suicide is.

Be careful, if you sucessfully console a crazy suicidal person, they will want you to do so every few weeks until your the one that wants to kill himself.

I think that was a joke but I got something from it...
The person may start to crave attention and may start to fake these thoughts as a "hey look at me... I should get all your attention because I don't want to live" kind of thing.

[Aligeretha]

For about a month or so now, my good friend Gregory has been talking about suicide.

I've been talking to him online for quite some time, and he'll even mention it sometimes in person. It's over a girl he knows, he's really believing she's the central cause of his life being in seemingly shattered ruins.

At first I talked to him and he seemed like he'd be okay, but it's getting progressively worse.

Personally, at the end of every talk, I'll remind him that I am no person to choose how he handles his situation, I've brought up my experiences, my religious views, my alternative solutions. Nothing I do does anything more than give him a sense of friendship, comfort, and understanding from me, and the next time we talk, he brings suicide up again.

I don't know what to do and I'm very worried.

Well if you want him to live you should consider getting him to talk with a psychiatrist because it is clear that he needs professional help.

[The Cat-Tribe]

Take him rope shopping.

That is quite mean of you to say.

Apparently, people who are suicidal are pathetic and deserve scorn.

[Smunkeeville]

It may only be me... but, I would sit with him whenever I got the chance and point out all the finer(sp?) parts of his life, make him feel important and cared about, let him know the void it would leave behind if he did kill himself.
And if all else fails let him know just how selfish suicide is.

Be careful, if you sucessfully console a crazy suicidal person, they will want you to do so every few weeks until your the one that wants to kill himself.

I think that was a joke but I got something from it...
The person may start to crave attention and may start to fake these thoughts as a "hey look at me... I should get all your attention because I don't want to live" kind of thing.

Which is why it's ALWAYS better to seek professional help rather than trying to handle it on your own.

[The Cat-Tribe]

Hate to say it but if he really wanted to off himself he would already be dead, seems to just be looking for attention. My answer? Let him do what he wants. Getting involved will just make you feel guilty if it turns out wrong.

This is an excellent example of why one shouldn't listen to the advice of ignorant people. They don't know what the hell they are talking about.

They may also be callous jerks.

EDIT: From the National Insitute of Mental Health:

Most suicide attempts are expressions of extreme distress, not harmless bids for attention. A person who appears suicidal should not be left alone and needs immediate mental-health treatment.

I expected more from someone of your stature. A petty flame and a wrongly quoted source does much to diminish any reputation you have here and should probably be avoided in subsequent postings...

There has not been a suicide attempt, those take resolve. If the kid was to try killing himself and failed (which is quite pathetic) it would obviously require professional help. That isn't being disputed by me or anyone else in the thread. However, making mention of suicide, openly, to ones peers is just a tactic to garner sympathy and see reactions. Hell, I was drunk one evening a few years ago and messaged an old friend on aim something along the lines of "No one would miss me if I was dead" just to see how fucking awesome I am. Its an attention seeking behavior, nothing more, nothing less.

Beyond being mind-bogglingly offensive, the notion that a suicidal person would be dead if they were "really" suicidal is flatly stupid and wrong.

From the NIMH, "an estimated eight to 25 attempted suicides occur per every suicide death."

[Milks Empire]

Just let him know you're there.

[Parthenon]

Quite ironic how you take my rather unoffensive post to moderation yet quote a poster saying to take him rope shopping with smilies...

[Grave_n_idle]

Quite ironic how you take my rather unoffensive post to moderation yet quote a poster saying to take him rope shopping with smilies...

The 'twisted evil' smiley?

I'm just saying...

[Mad hatters in jeans]

Quite ironic how you take my rather unoffensive post to moderation yet quote a poster saying to take him rope shopping with smilies...

The 'twisted evil' smiley?

I'm just saying...

holy Jesus on a spit roast your nation flag thing is damn scary, what is it with you and scary picture things?

[Katganistan]

For about a month or so now, my good friend Gregory has been talking about suicide.

I've been talking to him online for quite some time, and he'll even mention it sometimes in person. It's over a girl he knows, he's really believing she's the central cause of his life being in seemingly shattered ruins.

At first I talked to him and he seemed like he'd be okay, but it's getting progressively worse.

Personally, at the end of every talk, I'll remind him that I am no person to choose how he handles his situation, I've brought up my experiences, my religious views, my alternative solutions. Nothing I do does anything more than give him a sense of friendship, comfort, and understanding from me, and the next time we talk, he brings suicide up again.

I don't know what to do and I'm very worried.

If he's got parents you can contact, let them know that he's been discussing this. Either he's serious and will do it if you say nothing, he's seriously trying to get help and may do it if you say nothing, or he's an attention whore who will then gain the attention he wants.

[Nanatsu no Tsuki]

Take him rope shopping.

That is quite mean of you to say.

Apparently, people who are suicidal are pathetic and deserve scorn.

So it seems.

As for the OP, I don't think there's much you can do about this. Talk to your friend, advice him to seek professional help. In the end, he is the one who will decide. If he goes, it was his choice. Just take comfort in the fact that you tried to help him to the best of your capabilities.

[The Alma Mater]

Take him rope shopping.

That is quite mean of you to say.

Only if you take the position that the suicide must be stopped; or to rephrase: that you (or anyone who is not the boy pondering it) believes to be beter qualified than the boy himself to determine if ending it is the right thing to do with his life.

In this case however I would indeed prefer him talking to a few doctors first.

[Galloism]

Take him rope shopping.

That is quite mean of you to say.

Only if you take the position that the suicide must be stopped; or to rephrase: that you (or anyone who is not the boy pondering it) believes to be beter qualified than the boy himself to determine if ending it is the right thing to do with his life.

In this case however I would indeed prefer him talking to a few doctors first.

Agreed. I do not fully understand why suicide is *always* an indication that a person is mentally ill. I really don't see that at all. It may be true in many cases - I daresay it might even be the majority. Just going by the OP, it seems he's suffering from depression caused by his current relationship troubles. It therefore would be my opinion that the OP should encourage his friend to go see a doctor about it first.

If a friend of mine wanted to die, I don't feel it would be my place to stop him. I would advise him against it, possibly take him to a football game and encourage him out of it, but I don't feel it's my place to physically stop him.

[Nanatsu no Tsuki]

Take him rope shopping.

That is quite mean of you to say.

Only if you take the position that the suicide must be stopped; or to rephrase: that you (or anyone who is not the boy pondering it) believes to be beter qualified than the boy himself to determine if ending it is the right thing to do with his life.

In this case however I would indeed prefer him talking to a few doctors first.

I just find the insensitivity of saying ''Take him rope shopping'' appalling.

Of course if the person will commit suicide, I am no one to prevent it. I wouldn't like anyone telling me that if I want to end my life I shouldn't. However, if one of my friends want to end his/her life, I would ask him/her to seek professional help.

[Grave_n_idle]

Quite ironic how you take my rather unoffensive post to moderation yet quote a poster saying to take him rope shopping with smilies...

The 'twisted evil' smiley?

I'm just saying...

holy Jesus on a spit roast your nation flag thing is damn scary, what is it with you and scary picture things?

I thought it was cute...

[The Cat-Tribe]

Quite ironic how you take my rather unoffensive post to moderation yet quote a poster saying to take him rope shopping with smilies...

Nice try, but there are multiple differences AND I did take offense at Brogavia's post.

And your post was far from unoffensive. You said failed suicides were "pathetic".

The mods have ruled on my complaint. Drop it.