My Friend is Pondering Suicide...

[Yootopia]

Oh, and, yes, putting up religious stuff helps a _lot_

Only if they're a total peasant.

[EvilDarkMagicians]

Unfortunately, I don't really know how to help; all I can tell you is that quoting religious statements will NOT help.

For certain religious people it actually may very well help them.

[Extreme Ironing]

Nothing I do does anything more than give him a sense of friendship, comfort, and understanding from me,

But these are among the most vital you can give. Even if you can't convince someone by reasoning with them, the concern you've shown for them will have made a clear impact in their thoughts.

[No Names Left Damn It]

I've been talking to him online for quite some time, and he'll even mention it sometimes in person. It's over a girl he knows, he's really believing she's the central cause of his life being in seemingly shattered ruins.

You need to get him to talk to her and tell her what's going on.

[Pure Metal]

He's younger than me, he's 15 going on 16 in September.

you should tell his parents. they'll make sure he gets the help he needs, whether or not he wants it or if its uncomfortable for the people involved.

killing yourself over a girl does sound really silly to me, but if he's serious, he needs help. and not just advice from people on the internet, or his friend (you), but serious help from trained people, and love and care from his parents. you should keep giving him your friendship, of course, but that might not be enough

[Sarzonia]

Direct him to call a suicide hotline. Seek professional help for him. By telling you that he's pondering suicide, he's asking for help.

[Ifreann]

Knock him out, write "SUICIDAL" all over him with permanent marker and dump him outside a hospital. They'll clean him up, give him an ice pack and throw a therapist at him.

[Greed and Death]

get help for him. Have him locked up by mental services.

[Lakeside Park (Ancient)]

Wow. Once again, the magnitude in which people are assholes on the Internet does not fail to astound me. Clearly, this kid needs more help than you can provide. I agree as to the "don't make him feel insane" aspect; I myself was not given that courtesy a few years back during depression and it really screwed me up long-term. However, you have done your part and, as kind as it is, you yourself are being run down and manipulated. Keep in mind that you have your own life, and you have extended your hand far enough. In all honesty, it sounds to me as though he is trying the ancient practice of, "Nothing helps a bad mood like spreading it around.". I have recently been in your position, spending my days assisting my suicidal friend. On three occasions, she had attempted suicide, after promising she would not. When a person is dead-set on suicide, they are considering no one's wants but their own. They want the pain to go away. Insane though he may feel, advise him to see a higher-up. If he's this screwed up, it may benefit him in the long run.

[Getbrett]

He sounds like a whining little shit. Fifteen years old, threatening nonexistence over a girl? Pathetic. Worthless. Perhaps he should carry out this threat and relieve reality of his stain.

[Laos Refugees]

For goodness sakes if he's going to try to kill himself step in and be with him so he dosen't do anything stupid, and no I don't mean call him and talk to him, I mean BE WITH HIM watch football on the couch with him shit like that in till this blows over.

[Smunkeeville]

It comes down to whether or not you believe your friend is a drama queen or not.

If you really truly believe they want to commit suicide or at least are thinking seriously about it, you need to call and get them help. Call the police/ambulance tell them your friend is threatening suicide, they'll come pick him up and take him to a hospital to be evaluated.

If you don't believe he needs help then ignore him, however it might have a bad outcome (he might have been serious).

I tend to err on the side of caution most days, so my friends know that I will get them help, if they're just in a drama queen mood they go elsewhere to whine.

[Charlotte Ryberg]

I don't know how to approach this, but let me get the information simple: most importantly, don't ignore the problem:

I advise you or him to consult the Samaritans helpline, which is a confidential non-judgemental emotion-related helpline. Befrienders Worldwide is the international service, which will provide helplines for international services outside the UK and Republic of Ireland. In the US, each state may have its own helpline which should be consulted too.

[Saint Clair Island]

Frankly, if a friend of mine was pondering suicide over something like that, I'd make some new friends. Would he threaten to kill himself if I didn't want to go see a movie with him? Make veiled threats against himself every time the pub ran out of his favourite drink? Either he's serious -- in which case he'll either die or find a therapist -- or he's not serious -- in which case he's an attention whore and probably not worth your time.

If you're in doubt, contact a doctor, not an internet forum.

[Robarya]

I have some clones ones that have suicidal tendencies. The way I see it, if he/she is weak enough to commit suicide, he/she deserves to die. I still love them, but that's nonetheless my view on the matter. Often it just seems to be a desperate cry for attention, though, hoping that they will have someone else help them solving their problems.

So I would do nothing in your situation, since it is your friend's responsibility to fix himself. He will might get over it, or he will might not.

[Fennijer]

This is obviously a very serious issue, so I will point out that I have worked with people who are at risk of depression before I continue. I am, however, no authority on the issue and would seriously recommend urging your friend to talk with professional councillors IF you believe his threats of suicide are real.

Parthenon mentioned earlier, albeit in a rather blunt manner, that this friend of yours is probably just seeking attention. This is highly possible, but if he is mentioning suicide it is a matter you cannot risk ignoring. Never ignore a threat of suicide, even if you doubt its validity.

One of my ex-clients (and I must be careful as I am forbidden to discuss clients cases in an unethical manner) threatened for 2 years to commit suicide. Doctors would not listen to this client, as they put it down to 'attention-seeking', until she overdosed.
My point is that it can be too late to 'suddenly realise' they were serious.

If this friend will not seek professional help, then I would suggest speaking with his parents or one of his siblings (if they are old enough to understand). This may seem like a betrayal of your friends trust, and in a way it is. However, you must keep his best interests at heart. Also, be cautious as a betrayal of his trust may result in him no longer confiding in you. I would only recommend going behind your friends back if you think the situation is getting serious!!

You can also try reassuring your friend that this 'girl' is not worth dying for, and that teenagers are prone to depression as their hormones are changing and causing all sorts of chemical imbalances in the body. Reassure him that you are always there to talk to.

Lastly, despite what others have suggested.... do NOT give him alcohol. True, he is not old enough for alcohol.. but that is not the point. Alcohol is a depressant and will only further his instability

[The Cat-Tribe]

Hate to say it but if he really wanted to off himself he would already be dead, seems to just be looking for attention. My answer? Let him do what he wants. Getting involved will just make you feel guilty if it turns out wrong.

This is an excellent example of why one shouldn't listen to the advice of ignorant people. They don't know what the hell they are talking about.

They may also be callous jerks.

EDIT: From the National Insitute of Mental Health:

Most suicide attempts are expressions of extreme distress, not harmless bids for attention. A person who appears suicidal should not be left alone and needs immediate mental-health treatment.

[Smunkeeville]

Hate to say it but if he really wanted to off himself he would already be dead, seems to just be looking for attention. My answer? Let him do what he wants. Getting involved will just make you feel guilty if it turns out wrong.

This is an excellent example of why one shouldn't listen to the advice of ignorant people. They don't know what the hell they are talking about.

They may also be callous jerks.

EDIT: From the National Insitute of Mental Health:

Most suicide attempts are expressions of extreme distress, not harmless bids for attention. A person who appears suicidal should not be left alone and needs immediate mental-health treatment.

It could also be said that anyone who feels the need to threaten to commit suicide to get attention, probably needs some attention.

[Saint Clair Island]

Most suicide attempts are expressions of extreme distress, not harmless bids for attention. A person who appears suicidal should not be left alone and needs immediate mental-health treatment.

That would apply if there had been any suicide attempts -- but if the OP is correct, he's just been "considering" it. Again, if he's serious, he'll either go through with it or find a psychiatrist (or someone will find a psychiatrist for him, either way).

It could also be said that anyone who feels the need to threaten to commit suicide to get attention, probably needs some attention.

Well yes, but why encourage them? If they want attention, they should find some other way of getting it that isn't demeaning to people who really are clinically depressed.

[The Cat-Tribe]

Hate to say it but if he really wanted to off himself he would already be dead, seems to just be looking for attention. My answer? Let him do what he wants. Getting involved will just make you feel guilty if it turns out wrong.

This is an excellent example of why one shouldn't listen to the advice of ignorant people. They don't know what the hell they are talking about.

They may also be callous jerks.

EDIT: From the National Insitute of Mental Health:

Most suicide attempts are expressions of extreme distress, not harmless bids for attention. A person who appears suicidal should not be left alone and needs immediate mental-health treatment.

It could also be said that anyone who feels the need to threaten to commit suicide to get attention, probably needs some attention.

QFT. Excellent observation.

[The Cat-Tribe]

Most suicide attempts are expressions of extreme distress, not harmless bids for attention. A person who appears suicidal should not be left alone and needs immediate mental-health treatment.

That would apply if there had been any suicide attempts -- but if the OP is correct, he's just been "considering" it. Again, if he's serious, he'll either go through with it or find a psychiatrist (or someone will find a psychiatrist for him, either way).

*sigh*

I knew someone would nit-pick that way. Suicidal ideation is a symptom of mental illness. It is highly likely this person need serious help.

Just expecting them to drift into professional help is to essentially write them off.

If that is what the OP wishes, fine, but not because some people that don't know better suggest it.

[The Cat-Tribe]

Most suicide attempts are expressions of extreme distress, not harmless bids for attention. A person who appears suicidal should not be left alone and needs immediate mental-health treatment.

That would apply if there had been any suicide attempts -- but if the OP is correct, he's just been "considering" it. Again, if he's serious, he'll either go through with it or find a psychiatrist (or someone will find a psychiatrist for him, either way).

It could also be said that anyone who feels the need to threaten to commit suicide to get attention, probably needs some attention.

Well yes, but why encourage them? If they want attention, they should find some other way of getting it that isn't demeaning to people who really are clinically depressed.

You don't know if the OP's friend is clinically depressed or not.

And, as someone that is clinically depressed, I find your attitude towards suicidal thoughts demeaning, offensive, and ignorant.

[The Romulan Republic]

He sounds like a whining little shit. Fifteen years old, threatening nonexistence over a girl? Pathetic. Worthless. Perhaps he should carry out this threat and relieve reality of his stain.

Its fascinating that, no matter how much callous dickishness you see on-line, you can always find a new example right around the corner.

[Smunkeeville]

Most suicide attempts are expressions of extreme distress, not harmless bids for attention. A person who appears suicidal should not be left alone and needs immediate mental-health treatment.

That would apply if there had been any suicide attempts -- but if the OP is correct, he's just been "considering" it. Again, if he's serious, he'll either go through with it or find a psychiatrist (or someone will find a psychiatrist for him, either way).

Yes, and if you'll scroll up a bit you'd see that we've both said he needs to help his friend get some psychiatric help. As someone who has struggled with depression before, the "I kinda wanna die" phase is really long, the "I wonder how to do it" phase is shorter and the "I have a plan" phase is just a few minutes before I do something horrible. After having nearly died and ruined relationships with nearly everyone around me a few times....I'm pretty sure getting help during the "I kinda wanna die" phase is best.

Well yes, but why encourage them? If they want attention, they should find some other way of getting it that isn't demeaning to people who really are clinically depressed.

I would encourage them to seek psychiatric help. Many people can have varying mental illnesses, not everyone has to get to the "just taken a bottle of pills" situation before we help them out.

[Saint Clair Island]

You don't know if the OP's friend is clinically depressed or not.

No. I'm not qualified to know, either.

And, as someone that is clinically depressed, I find your attitude towards suicidal thoughts demeaning, offensive, and ignorant.

Eh. Back when I was regularly thinking of/attempting suicide, I appreciated the "you probably just want attention, otherwise you'd go through with it already" attitude more than the "noooo, don't do it, your life is worth something!" attitude. Largely because it matched my own thoughts better, and I could feel as though I wasn't really mentally ill, -- since a mentally ill person would have killed themselves already -- and thus had hope for improvement. Of course, that was me, and other people would probably benefit from a different approach.