Seriously. The definition of "rape" has expanded so far that it's virtually meaningless. These days I (and many people I know) virtually assume a woman who says she was raped is lying unless she's visibly covered in bruises. The word "rape" means "I was forced to have sex against my will, and am horrifically traumatized." Not "I got drunk, and I had sex with this guy, and when I woke up the next day, like, OMG, he was totally ugly!"
Now I realize this kind of rape claim is probably not in the majority. Unfortunately, even a claim of rape not backed up by legal action can be pretty damaging to a person, along with generating a lot of attention and sympathy for the accuser.
For starters, alcohol. I'll be the first to say that if you just stick it in someone whose passed or or so drunk they're sliding in and out of consciousness and can't really tell what's going on, that's rape. On the other hand, having sex with a drunk woman is not rape. It's a bit sleazy if she's hammered, but it's not rape. When you get drunk, you accept responsibility for the actions you take while drunk. That includes who you sleep with, who you run down with your car, what you say, etc. Being drunk does not magically make it so anything you do is not your fault, despite what some people seem to think.
For another, saying no. Yeah, sorry, but if a guy has sex with you and you didn't push him away or attempt to stop him in any way, your fault. Unless of course there was fear of violence or you're mute or unconscious or otherwise couldn't do this. Not rape. The guy's probably a huge asshole, but you really should've made clear you didn't want to have sex with him. If you didn't, the incident is partially your fault.
Before anyone says it - if you're dragged off the street or in another more stereotypical "rape" scenario, you're probably going to resist. I think the victim remaining silent is more common in acquaintance or familial rape scenarios. Incest doesn't count on this one, I think it's a bit unreasonable to expect a six year old to try to make clear to her mother she doesn't want to finger her.
Seriously guys. Rape is a really, really, horrible thing. And if someone says "He raped me," then that needs to actually mean something. Throwing the word rape around to describe any time you had sex and wished you hadn't or didn't really want to is offensive on about a hundred million different levels. I certainly don't think this is incredibly common - plenty of women are hesitant about the word rape, as well they should be. The problem is, I also know of many, far less mature girls who seem to use the word like it's going out of style.
So...Agree with me, or am I horrible chauvinist asshole?
