Death By Chocolate

[Georgetpwn]

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,530703,00.html?mrp

didn't have to be that way, but now we know it's true...

[Greed and Death]

I saw that happen to a kid in a willy wonka movie.

[Farnhamia]

Well, that'll spoil your day.

[Buffett and Colbert]

Willy Wonka: YOU SPOILED MY CHOCOLATE!

[Grave_n_idle]

I wonder what they did with the chocolate...

[Georgetpwn]

used it and sent it to china?

[Greed and Death]

used it and sent it to china?

Better then the stuff they normally send to us.

[Buffett and Colbert]

used it and sent it to china?

The child slaves must have been overjoyed.

[Farnhamia]

I wonder what they did with the chocolate...

The factory was in Camden, NJ? Didn't the Phillies have a Chocolate Bar Night about a week later?

[Saint Clair Island]

I don't buy that "hit his head on an agitator" story. Clearly, the Auditors of Reality are getting cleverer in their ability to mimic human beings.

[United Dependencies]

This guy died are we sure we want to make jokes about it?

[Grave_n_idle]

This guy died are we sure we want to make jokes about it?

I'm not making jokes. I'm thinking they pulled the body out, and people all over America are now eating Chocolate flovoured with dead people.

[Farnhamia]

This guy died are we sure we want to make jokes about it?

I'm sorry the guy died, truly. I even bet he thought, in his past minutes, "Oh, man, this is going to be all over the damn Internet!"

[Buffett and Colbert]

This guy died are we sure we want to make jokes about it?

'S what we do.

Well maybe not. He's right.

[United Dependencies]

This guy died are we sure we want to make jokes about it?

I'm sorry the guy died, truly. I even bet he thought, in his past minutes, "Oh, man, this is going to be all over the damn Internet!"

actually last seconds apparently he died instantly from a head injury

I was about to make a joke myself when I first saw this but then I realized that may not go over so well.

[Farnhamia]

This guy died are we sure we want to make jokes about it?

I'm sorry the guy died, truly. I even bet he thought, in his past minutes, "Oh, man, this is going to be all over the damn Internet!"

actually last seconds apparently he died instantly from a head injury

I was about to make a joke myself when I first saw this but then I realized that may not go over so well.

Okay, well ... Humans laugh at death. Someone else's, anyway. Otherwise, we might get too scared.

[Saint Clair Island]

Hey, at least we haven't started with awful puns, like "Well, his last moments must have been sweet" or "His last thought was probably 'Oh, fudge'" or "You'd think the factory would be keeping this under wrappers".

Ok, nobody else started with awful puns.

[United Dependencies]

Hey, at least we haven't started with awful puns, like "Well, his last moments must have been sweet" or "His last thought was probably 'Oh, fudge'" or "You'd think the factory would be keeping this under wrappers".

Ok, nobody else started with awful puns.

Thats awful and funny at the same time.

I was going to go for a more family guy kinda thing: Wow my first day on the job at a chocolate factory this is going to be great. Hey that screw over the chocolate vat is loose let me just lean over the rails and tighten it some.

[Buffett and Colbert]

Hey, at least we haven't started with awful puns, like "Well, his last moments must have been sweet" or "His last thought was probably 'Oh, fudge'" or "You'd think the factory would be keeping this under wrappers".

Ok, nobody else started with awful puns.

I think his death was just Twixted.

[Saint Clair Island]

Hey, at least we haven't started with awful puns, like "Well, his last moments must have been sweet" or "His last thought was probably 'Oh, fudge'" or "You'd think the factory would be keeping this under wrappers".

Ok, nobody else started with awful puns.

I think his death was just Twixted.

His family probably got 100 Grand in insurance.

[North Wiedna]

DAMN YOU WONKA!!!

[Farnhamia]

Hey, at least we haven't started with awful puns, like "Well, his last moments must have been sweet" or "His last thought was probably 'Oh, fudge'" or "You'd think the factory would be keeping this under wrappers".

Ok, nobody else started with awful puns.

I think his death was just Twixted.

His family probably got 100 Grand in insurance.

A veritable Pay Day!

[Greed and Death]

I'm sorry the guy died, truly. I even bet he thought, in his past minutes, "Oh, man, this is going to be all over the damn Internet!"

actually last seconds apparently he died instantly from a head injury

I was about to make a joke myself when I first saw this but then I realized that may not go over so well.

Okay, well ... Humans laugh at death. Someone else's, anyway. Otherwise, we might get too scared.

I hope I laugh at my death.

[Farnhamia]

This reminds me, in a round-about way, of the ending of Mark Twain's "His Grandfather's Old Ram." It's a lecture piece he did, about an old feller who kept wandering off the point of a story he was telling, and getting drowsier and drowsier, until, at the end:

Parson Hagar belonged to the Western Reserve Hagars; prime family; his mother was a Watson; one of his sisters married a Wheeler; they settled in Morgan county, and he got nipped by the machinery in a carpet factory and went through in less than a quarter of a minute; his widder bought the piece of carpet that had his remains wove in, and people come a hundred mile to ‘tend the funeral. There was fourteen yards in the piece. She wouldn’t let them roll him up, but planted him just so–full length. The church was middling small where they preached the funeral, and they had to let one end of the coffin stick out of the window. They didn’t bury him–they planted one end, and let him stand up, same as a monument. And they nailed a sign on it and put–put on–put on it–"sacred to–the m-e-m-o-r-y–of fourteen y-a-r-d-s–of three-ply–car–-pet–containing all that was–m-o-r-t-a-l–of–of–W-i-l-l-i-a-m–W-h-e–”

So maybe, even though here the body was recovered, "Sacred to the memory of two cases of Special Dark Chocolate Bars, containing the mortal remains of ..."

[Lunatic Goofballs]

I hope I laugh at my death.

I hope everyone laughs at my death.