Why atheists have weak relationships, Christians strong ones

[RepentNowOrPayLater]

These threads used to be amusing beyond the opening statement, I don't blame the OP for the fact that they become little less than crowing over those who fail to comprehend what's written,

..except I do..

*Blames!*

I think some of the problem is that the formula is tired and, I know, easy to criticize but then this ain't my schtick,

Meanwhile, just because I mishit i...

testing

At the risk of having say that I've become needy to the point of it being like pistol whipping a blind kid...are saying they're still amusing up to the opening statement? ("Somebody said they were close to me?")

You say its formulaic, but so many people still don't get it! I really do try to make it more and more obvious....

I've been blamed. I'm blamed. Blaming has happened to me. I'm in receipt of blame.

Jesus.

[Liliopsida]

We Christians, on the other hand, stay together because God will spiritually ass-ram us if we divorce. THAT'S what you base a successful relationship on.

The image of God ass-ramming people made me chuckle, heh.
Nice one, could have been a little more subtle though

[The Nuclear Fist]

Holy shitcaking thunder fucks! Either I just found the Omega Troll, or Fred Phelps is on NS. But as for your rambling bullshit, I call bullshit. I've seen plenty oh christians ruin their relationships. If anything, christianity only serves to further drive a wedge between 2 relationship partners. And lets not even get into alternative relationships.

[RepentNowOrPayLater]

I agree that mainstream Atheism have caused people to lose a lot of American morals, but you don't need to worship Jesus to be a good person.

Which American morals were lost due to Atheism?

[RepentNowOrPayLater]

We Christians, on the other hand, stay together because God will spiritually ass-ram us if we divorce. THAT'S what you base a successful relationship on.

The image of God ass-ramming people made me chuckle, heh.
Nice one, could have been a little more subtle though

Okay, you say that, but then look at the genius who posted right below your first post on this thread.

[RepentNowOrPayLater]

:palm:

Holy shitcaking thunder fucks! Either I just found the Omega Troll, or Fred Phelps is on NS. But as for your rambling bullshit, I call bullshit. I've seen plenty oh christians ruin their relationships. If anything, christianity only serves to further drive a wedge between 2 relationship partners. And lets not even get into alternative relationships.

There is, perhaps, a third possibility you've omitted.

[Imsogone]

:palm:

Holy shitcaking thunder fucks! Either I just found the Omega Troll, or Fred Phelps is on NS. But as for your rambling bullshit, I call bullshit. I've seen plenty oh christians ruin their relationships. If anything, christianity only serves to further drive a wedge between 2 relationship partners. And lets not even get into alternative relationships.

There are none so blind as those who will not see.

[Shanix]

Might I remind you of the Crusades? When Christians thought it was a good idea to attempt to slaughter Muslims just because they lived in a play where a book says something happened? I'm athiest, been married 40 years. I don't think that's weak. And dude, get out of the stupid 1930s. There are these things man, they call them 'Women's rights'. They're so FREAKY MAN! They give women the choice of DOING STUFF! (And I doubt you will see any sarcasm in that). Oh, and Nazi's were Christian. So was Imperial Germany. So was the US when it slaughtered Native Americans. Christians can cause as many problems as anyone else, so don't say they are the 'peace loving, super tolerant' race that you make them to be.

[Imsogone]

Might I remind you of the Crusades? When Christians thought it was a good idea to attempt to slaughter Muslims just because they lived in a play where a book says something happened? I'm athiest, been married 40 years. I don't think that's weak. And dude, get out of the stupid 1930s. There are these things man, they call them 'Women's rights'. They're so FREAKY MAN! They give women the choice of DOING STUFF! (And I doubt you will see any sarcasm in that). Oh, and Nazi's were Christian. So was Imperial Germany. So was the US when it slaughtered Native Americans. Christians can cause as many problems as anyone else, so don't say they are the 'peace loving, super tolerant' race that you make them to be.

*pats on head* that's ok sweetie, you'll figure it out someday.

[RepentNowOrPayLater]

Might I remind you of the Crusades? When Christians thought it was a good idea to attempt to slaughter Muslims just because they lived in a play where a book says something happened? I'm athiest, been married 40 years. I don't think that's weak. And dude, get out of the stupid 1930s. There are these things man, they call them 'Women's rights'. They're so FREAKY MAN! They give women the choice of DOING STUFF! (And I doubt you will see any sarcasm in that). Oh, and Nazi's were Christian. So was Imperial Germany. So was the US when it slaughtered Native Americans. Christians can cause as many problems as anyone else, so don't say they are the 'peace loving, super tolerant' race that you make them to be.

You see, Barringtonia? Every so often, something comes along and makes it worth it...

Please, please don't be meta-satire, Shanix. Please be real, or as real as you can be...

[The Nuclear Fist]

:palm:

Holy shitcaking thunder fucks! Either I just found the Omega Troll, or Fred Phelps is on NS. But as for your rambling bullshit, I call bullshit. I've seen plenty oh christians ruin their relationships. If anything, christianity only serves to further drive a wedge between 2 relationship partners. And lets not even get into alternative relationships.

There is, perhaps, a third possibility you've omitted.

I haven't a clue what it is you're reffering to. Yes, I've seen atheist ruin relationships as well, if that is what you're getting at. But my basic point is that christianity does not keep people together. And even those such as yourself who DO stay in these 'relationships' as you in fact believe they are, the idea that god ass-ramming you for splitting up is the only thing keeping said people together, thoroughly disgusts me to my very core.

[Apertior]

A++ would be trolled again.

[RepentNowOrPayLater]

*pats on head* that's ok sweetie, you'll figure it out someday.

Seriously, holy shit, did you see his comment about seeing sarcasm?

And oh, man, if Shanix is telling the truth about being married for 40 years, that means they aren't some 13 year old with a learning disability who might have an excuse. Christ with a dead hooker in his trunk, this is the best one in maybe years...

[Imsogone]

:palm:

Holy shitcaking thunder fucks! Either I just found the Omega Troll, or Fred Phelps is on NS. But as for your rambling bullshit, I call bullshit. I've seen plenty oh christians ruin their relationships. If anything, christianity only serves to further drive a wedge between 2 relationship partners. And lets not even get into alternative relationships.

There is, perhaps, a third possibility you've omitted.

I haven't a clue what it is you're reffering to. Yes, I've seen atheist ruin relationships as well, if that is what you're getting at. But my basic point is that christianity does not keep people together. And even those such as yourself who DO stay in these 'relationships' as you in fact believe they are, the idea that god ass-ramming you for splitting up is the only thing keeping said people together, thoroughly disgusts me to my very core.

[Karsol]

I am not christian yet I have never lost a friend...unless death or brain jellifying accidents are involved.

[EnragedMaldivians]

These threads used to be amusing beyond the opening statement, I don't blame the OP for the fact that they become little less than crowing over those who fail to comprehend what's written,

..except I do..

*Blames!*

I think some of the problem is that the formula is tired and, I know, easy to criticize but then this ain't my schtick,

Meanwhile, just because I mishit i...

testing

At the risk of having say that I've become needy to the point of it being like pistol whipping a blind kid...are saying they're still amusing up to the opening statement? ("Somebody said they were close to me?")

You say its formulaic, but so many people still don't get it! I really do try to make it more and more obvious....

I've been blamed. I'm blamed. Blaming has happened to me. I'm in receipt of blame.

Jesus.

I thought it was TOO obvious actually, admittedly a lot were fooled but some were too quick to point out the obvious satire. It's more fun when it lasts longer and more people are outraged.

[Barringtonia]

At the risk of having say that I've become needy to the point of it being like pistol whipping a blind kid...are saying they're still amusing up to the opening statement? ("Somebody said they were close to me?")

*pats head*

No, the OP is fine - yes, 'fine', not spectacular just a condescending 'fine' from me..., - it's the follow-on that becomes tiring, starting, in this instance, from 'you, sir, are an idiot' - it's just predictably tiresome.

You say its formulaic, but so many people still don't get it! I really do try to make it more and more obvious....

I think the problem with the formula is that people recognise the formula and are therefore quick to show the fact they get it by trashing those who don't so any potential for anything else is lost. I mean, part of the point of satire is that people don't get it so criticising people for not doing so when, really, many of us might fail to do so if we didn't recognise the formula... I mean some of this is just an Internet forum thing where people often just skim threads because what they're saying is, clearly, more important than what anyone else is saying..

I've been blamed. I'm blamed. Blaming has happened to me. I'm in receipt of blame.

Jesus

Thrice before the cock crows,

[RepentNowOrPayLater]

I haven't a clue what it is you're reffering to. Yes, I've seen atheist ruin relationships as well, if that is what you're getting at. But my basic point is that christianity does not keep people together. And even those such as yourself who DO stay in these 'relationships' as you in fact believe they are, the idea that god ass-ramming you for splitting up is the only thing keeping said people together, thoroughly disgusts me to my very core.

You could have stopped at the first four words there, and achieved a more apt description of yourself and your role in this discussion.

[SaintB]

Might I remind you of the Crusades? When Christians thought it was a good idea to attempt to slaughter Muslims just because they lived in a play where a book says something happened? I'm athiest, been married 40 years. I don't think that's weak. And dude, get out of the stupid 1930s. There are these things man, they call them 'Women's rights'. They're so FREAKY MAN! They give women the choice of DOING STUFF! (And I doubt you will see any sarcasm in that). Oh, and Nazi's were Christian. So was Imperial Germany. So was the US when it slaughtered Native Americans. Christians can cause as many problems as anyone else, so don't say they are the 'peace loving, super tolerant' race that you make them to be.

But its been biologically proven that women have smaller feet as they have been intelligently designed by god to be able to stand closer to the stove and they have extra fat stores in their breasts so that they can spend more time shopping for food without needing a rest...


Dude the whole OP is meant as a joke; its a parody to make people laugh and possibly to make people think about the differences in values and maybe just maybe both parties should take a page out of each others book.

[Imsogone]

*pats on head* that's ok sweetie, you'll figure it out someday.

Seriously, holy shit, did you see his comment about seeing sarcasm?

And oh, man, if Shanix is telling the truth about being married for 40 years, that means they aren't some 13 year old with a learning disability who might have an excuse. Christ with a dead hooker in his trunk, this is the best one in maybe years...

I'm sorry, Hammy RNOPL, I started laughing my posterior analytics off before I finished his first sentence.

[The Nuclear Fist]

:palm:

Holy shitcaking thunder fucks! Either I just found the Omega Troll, or Fred Phelps is on NS. But as for your rambling bullshit, I call bullshit. I've seen plenty oh christians ruin their relationships. If anything, christianity only serves to further drive a wedge between 2 relationship partners. And lets not even get into alternative relationships.

There are none so blind as those who will not see.

But if this charge is true (that she wasn't a virgin on her wedding night), and evidence of the girls virginity is not found, they shall bring the girl to the entrance of her fathers house and there her townsman shall stone her to death, because she committed a crime against Israel by her unchasteness in her father's house. Thus shall you purge the evil from your midst.

See, I can quote shit too!

[Imsogone]

:palm:

Holy shitcaking thunder fucks! Either I just found the Omega Troll, or Fred Phelps is on NS. But as for your rambling bullshit, I call bullshit. I've seen plenty oh christians ruin their relationships. If anything, christianity only serves to further drive a wedge between 2 relationship partners. And lets not even get into alternative relationships.

There are none so blind as those who will not see.

But if this charge is true (that she wasn't a virgin on her wedding night), and evidence of the girls virginity is not found, they shall bring the girl to the entrance of her fathers house and there her townsman shall stone her to death, because she committed a crime against Israel by her unchasteness in her father's house. Thus shall you purge the evil from your midst.

See, I can quote shit too!

Yeah, you're quoting, but you're still not seeing. I suggest you go back and look at posts from some of the older (meaning been here longer) posters in this thread.

[The Nuclear Fist]

I haven't a clue what it is you're reffering to. Yes, I've seen atheist ruin relationships as well, if that is what you're getting at. But my basic point is that christianity does not keep people together. And even those such as yourself who DO stay in these 'relationships' as you in fact believe they are, the idea that god ass-ramming you for splitting up is the only thing keeping said people together, thoroughly disgusts me to my very core.

You could have stopped at the first four words there, and achieved a more apt description of yourself and your role in this discussion.

Hmm? Oh I very much so know what it is I am talking about. If I remember correctly, the name of this thread is 'Why atheists have weak relationships, Christians strong ones.' I merely stated that that statement was false.

[RepentNowOrPayLater]

I am not christian yet I have never lost a friend...unless death or brain jellifying accidents are involved.

Well, there are a lot of things that can go wrong with even a routine brain jellification. Accidents will happen.

Wow, "jellification" didn't get a red underline. I'm surprised.

[Lackadaisical2]

I am not christian yet I have never lost a friend...unless death or brain jellifying accidents are involved.

Is that some kind of crazy homosexual sex act?