There's no such thing as Karma. There is only the healing blood of Christ for the remission of sins. You know...dogma.
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by RepentNowOrPayLater » Wed Jul 14, 2010 11:53 pm
by RepentNowOrPayLater » Wed Jul 14, 2010 11:54 pm
Rolamec wrote:Look, I don't think there is anything wrong with being a Christian. But I certainly don't think an atheist or non-religious person is less stable, individually or in a relationship, than anybody else.
by Tungookska » Wed Jul 14, 2010 11:54 pm
RepentNowOrPayLater wrote:One of the many ways that Atheism is leading to the degradation of Western civilization and the decline of humanity in general is that Atheists have weak personal relationships, as opposed to the abiding and adamantine bonds between loving Christians.
For example, Christ commands us to love our neighbors, so we do. Christian history is replete with affable coexistence, and to this day, there is not a single border between Christian nations that requires armed guard. From Northern Ireland to the Maginot Line, from Germany to Poland, from Mexico to America, the peace of Christ has rained a fiery barrage of tranquility down upon the blacked-out fortified bunkers of our neighborhoods.
But on a far more important scale, Atheists have particularly failed at the second* most important relationship available to human beings: marriage. Marriage is what brings us together, today. And for Christians, it is a sacred bond, wherein a man is commanded to love and care for his wife and she is commanded to obey and make babies for him. If either fails in this most sacrosanct of duties, Jesus stands ready to punish them with eternal burning and flaying in hell, unless they have asked Jesus to forgive their sins, in which case Jesus just puts information on their credit report resulting in denial of financing for the purchase of appliances at Sears. This results in a truly loving bond.
You atheists have to base your marriages on the specious and tenuous connections of mutual respect, regard, attraction, and happiness in your daily lives. Without the supernatural chains of Heaven to keep you together in an unbreakable state of matrimony, you have to maintain your relationships with nothing but simple humane consideration, self-motivated co-operation, and sinfully experimental sex. You have to decide, every day, to really care for one another, in each moment, for yourselves and for each other. We Christians, on the other hand, stay together because God will spiritually ass-ram us if we divorce. THAT'S what you base a successful relationship on.
I urge all of you atheists here to abandon your willful and damning rejection of God, and if you're married, your spouse should do the same. For women, persuade your man that Jesus is the only way by respectfully requesting that he read the Bible to you. For men, just tell her you're both Christians now.
*(Remember, the most important relationship is between a person and Jesus Christ, their Lord and Savior. Scripturally, the relationship between Christ and his Church is like that of a Groom to his Bride, except Christ's love doesn't taper off a few years after the wedding, becoming emotionally distant and resentful as the Church gains weight (both literal and figurative) with the heaviness of unfulfilled expectation, and eventually Christ forgets to close his IM Chat session with an old girlfriend from high school, and the Church finds it and gets really pissed off, and even though Christ wasn't having an affair with her or anything, and hadn't even really touched her, the Church is angry because its still "emotional intimacy", so then Christ gets fed up with the Church's bullshit and really does have an affair with some 24 year old goth chick who works as a paralegal. Its not like that. Probably.)
by The Tavan Race » Wed Jul 14, 2010 11:55 pm
by RepentNowOrPayLater » Wed Jul 14, 2010 11:56 pm
Numerika wrote:Topic header = plain false
What is true is that there's a heavy percentage of "born again Christians" among the worst psychopaths in society.
by Lackadaisical2 » Wed Jul 14, 2010 11:56 pm
The Republic of Lanos wrote:Proud member of the Vile Right-Wing Noodle Combat Division of the Imperialist Anti-Socialist Economic War Army Ground Force reporting in.
by RepentNowOrPayLater » Wed Jul 14, 2010 11:56 pm
Disco Tetris wrote:You've written better, but the Church/Jesus bit gave me a chuckle. It just seems a bit too easy.
by Der Teutoniker » Wed Jul 14, 2010 11:57 pm
Virabia wrote:You sir, are an idiot.
South Lorenya wrote:occasionally we get someone who has a rap sheet longer than Jormungandr
Austin Setzer wrote:We found a couple of ancient documents, turned them into the bible, and now its the symbol of christianity.
ARM Forces wrote:Strep-throat is an infection in the throat, caused by eating too much refined sugar! Rubbing more sugar directly on it is the worst thing you can possibly do.
Dumb Ideologies wrote:Communism and anarchy; same unachievable end, different impractical means.
by RepentNowOrPayLater » Wed Jul 14, 2010 11:57 pm
Tungookska wrote:*Spam Snip*
by Der Teutoniker » Wed Jul 14, 2010 11:59 pm
Numerika wrote:Topic header = plain false
What is true is that there's a heavy percentage of "born again Christians" among the worst psychopaths in society.
South Lorenya wrote:occasionally we get someone who has a rap sheet longer than Jormungandr
Austin Setzer wrote:We found a couple of ancient documents, turned them into the bible, and now its the symbol of christianity.
ARM Forces wrote:Strep-throat is an infection in the throat, caused by eating too much refined sugar! Rubbing more sugar directly on it is the worst thing you can possibly do.
Dumb Ideologies wrote:Communism and anarchy; same unachievable end, different impractical means.
by RepentNowOrPayLater » Wed Jul 14, 2010 11:59 pm
Der Teutoniker wrote:As stupid as the post likely is (I didn't get far enough even to read any of it) I'm sure that an intellectual approach... or hell even some base form of refutation would be better suited to demonstrating his correctness.
by Mutant Lobster People » Thu Jul 15, 2010 12:00 am
Dinosaurana wrote:I am not fucking kid.
Nazi Flower Power wrote:Why is there an 11 page thread arguing about pubic hair?
Progressiae wrote:Dinosaur My Is Purple-Raisins
Chatkasatan wrote:Or people who serve poop in ice cream.
An issue about gay adoption wrote:"Think about it: say you have two gay Mutant DinosaurApeCrabs"
The Altani Federation wrote:Are you lobsters trying to wreck your economy?
by Dream Control and Food » Thu Jul 15, 2010 12:00 am
by RepentNowOrPayLater » Thu Jul 15, 2010 12:02 am
Mutant Lobster People wrote:Once again, an awesome satire from RepentNowOrPayLater
by Weylara » Thu Jul 15, 2010 12:03 am
Dream Control and Food wrote:Read Ephesians 5:22-24: and see how it promotes equality and strengthens relationships.............................. "Wives submit yourselves to your husbands as to the lord, For the husband has authority over his wife, just as Christ has authority over the Church; and Christ is himself the Saviour of the church, his body....And so wives must submit themselves completely to their husbands, just as the church submits itself to Christ"
by Unidox » Thu Jul 15, 2010 12:04 am
RepentNowOrPayLater wrote:-snip-
Caninope wrote:It's NSG. The 20th Circle of LIMBO!
Buffett and Colbert wrote:Always here to ruin the day. 8)
Living Freedom Land wrote:Oh, so now you want gay people to take part in the sacred institution of tax rebates too? You liberals sicken me.
Lacadaemon wrote:I mean, hell, in a properly regulated market, pension stripping schemes like Zynga wouldn't ever have a sniff of an IPO (see Groupon). But it's all wild westy now. Lie down with dogs and so forth.
by RepentNowOrPayLater » Thu Jul 15, 2010 12:05 am
Dream Control and Food wrote:Read Ephesians 5:22-24: and see how it promotes equality and strengthens relationships.............................. "Wives submit yourselves to your husbands as to the lord, For the husband has authority over his wife, just as Christ has authority over the Church; and Christ is himself the Saviour of the church, his body....And so wives must submit themselves completely to their husbands, just as the church submits itself to Christ"
by RepentNowOrPayLater » Thu Jul 15, 2010 12:07 am
Unidox wrote:RepentNowOrPayLater wrote:-snip-
Seriously? First it was the gay destroying marriage; now you have atheist pegged down as the culprits? Make up your minds!
I also want to toss this little credible ditty into the debate: http://www.salon.com/life/coupling/index.html?story=/mwt/broadsheet/2010/07/07/divorce_studies
Or, here
http://www.ifs.org.uk/pr/marriage_stability.pdf
by Imsogone » Thu Jul 15, 2010 12:07 am
Conserative Morality wrote:My God! Why can no one recognize satire this obvious?
by Barringtonia » Thu Jul 15, 2010 12:09 am
by Zephie » Thu Jul 15, 2010 12:10 am
Senestrum wrote:I just can't think of anything to say that wouldn't get me warned on this net-nanny forum.
by Imsogone » Thu Jul 15, 2010 12:11 am
RepentNowOrPayLater wrote:
There's no such thing as Karma. There is only the healing blood of Christ for the remission of sins. You know...dogma.
by Barringtonia » Thu Jul 15, 2010 12:12 am
by Der Teutoniker » Thu Jul 15, 2010 12:12 am
Dream Control and Food wrote:Read Ephesians 5:22-24: and see how it promotes equality and strengthens relationships.............................. "Wives submit yourselves to your husbands as to the lord, For the husband has authority over his wife, just as Christ has authority over the Church; and Christ is himself the Saviour of the church, his body....And so wives must submit themselves completely to their husbands, just as the church submits itself to Christ"
South Lorenya wrote:occasionally we get someone who has a rap sheet longer than Jormungandr
Austin Setzer wrote:We found a couple of ancient documents, turned them into the bible, and now its the symbol of christianity.
ARM Forces wrote:Strep-throat is an infection in the throat, caused by eating too much refined sugar! Rubbing more sugar directly on it is the worst thing you can possibly do.
Dumb Ideologies wrote:Communism and anarchy; same unachievable end, different impractical means.
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