Two people I know have swine flu...so what?

[Saint Clair Island]

My main concern is what could happen if Swine Flu somehow became combined with SARS, Bird Flu, AIDS, and Cancer, and then mutated so that it could be spread by sneezing mosquitoes.

Not much. Mosquitoes don't sneeze.

Swine flu, however, is serious. It's a highly deadly bioweapon developed by the US to destroy Mexico. I suggest you break into a hospital, steal a first aid kit, then head for the hills and lie low until the black helicopters and searchlights go away.

[Heinleinites]

Unless you develop a little pink curly tail and begin to snort when you laugh, I wouldn't worry.

[Cappular Avelar]

The media really blew up swine flu, its like having regular flu you disregard that so just disregard swine flu.

[Great Void]

Swine flu, however, is serious. It's a highly deadly bioweapon developed by the US to destroy Mexico. I suggest you break into a hospital, steal a first aid kit, then head for the hills and lie low until the black helicopters and searchlights go away.

That's just stupid! Bioweapon my ass! I won't even touch that "developed by the US" part. And the rest is bullshit aswell.

Everybody who has any knowledge of these things knows H1N1 has mutated from H5N1 because of migrating birds having their way with swine in Nigaragua. It's basic creationism.

[Dumb Ideologies]

My main concern is what could happen if Swine Flu somehow became combined with SARS, Bird Flu, AIDS, and Cancer, and then mutated so that it could be spread by sneezing mosquitoes.

Not much. Mosquitoes don't sneeze.

THATS JUST WHAT THE MOSQUITOES WANT YOU TO BELIEVE.

Swine flu, however, is serious. It's a highly deadly bioweapon developed by the US to destroy Mexico. I suggest you break into a hospital, steal a first aid kit, then head for the hills and lie low until the black helicopters and searchlights go away.

Hey. Stop that. I did that once, the government set three bears on me. Luckily, they hired the wrong type of bears, and the hairy butch gay men started making out with each other while I made my escape. Even better, while using an AK-47 in one hand to mow down innocent children playing nearby, I remembered to video the gay sex on my mobile phone, and sold it to the internet for profit.

[Saint Clair Island]

That's just stupid! Bioweapon my ass! I won't even touch that "developed by the US part". And the rest is bullshit aswell.

Everybody who has any knowledge of these things knows H1N1 has mutated from H5N1 because of migrating birds having their way with swine in Nigaragua. It's basic creationism.

That's just what the US government wants you to think.

Hey. Stop that. I did that once, the government set three bears on me. Luckily, they hired the wrong type of bears, and the hairy butch gay men started making out with each other while I made my escape. Even better, while using an AK47 in one hand to mow down innocent children playing nearby, I remembered to video the gay sex on my mobile phone, and sold it to the internet for profit.

That sounds unbelievable.

Specifically I can't believe you would use an AK47 one-handed. You'd use both hands to make sure you didn't miss any of the innocent children. Especially considering how infrequently you get to do that.

[Massicut]

A friend of mine is in the late stages of swine flu, I took a photo of him.

*Puts face through desk*

So...unfunny...universe...exploding...

I disagree. I found it very funny.

Me too that was a great joke!

[Galloism]

That's just stupid! Bioweapon my ass! I won't even touch that "developed by the US part". And the rest is bullshit aswell.

Everybody who has any knowledge of these things knows H1N1 has mutated from H5N1 because of migrating birds having their way with swine in Nigaragua. It's basic creationism.

That's just what the US government wants you to think.

I'm beginning to like you.

[Dumb Ideologies]

That sounds unbelievable.

Specifically I can't believe you would use an AK47 one-handed. You'd use both hands to make sure you didn't miss any of the innocent children. Especially considering how infrequently you get to do that.

In my line of work, its not too rare. Perk of the job.

Don't worry, the few I missed, I tidied up later. I let the families watch, hacked off their tiny limbs while playing the Yakkety Sax on loop at full volume. Even the parents couldn't help but laugh. Even when I ripped out their throats, they still made choking noises which I am sure were intended to be giggles.

You can't have "slaughter" without "laughter". The English language tells us so *nods*

[Voltairian Prospects]

A friend of mine is in the late stages of swine flu, I took a photo of him.

Ahhh... so this is whats running the US now adays huh?
No wonder this swine flu thing went under the radar so long.

BTW... Does Sarah Palin know you have this pic of her?

[Saint Clair Island]

That sounds unbelievable.

Specifically I can't believe you would use an AK47 one-handed. You'd use both hands to make sure you didn't miss any of the innocent children. Especially considering how infrequently you get to do that.

In my line of work, its not too rare. Perk of the job.

Don't worry, the few I missed, I tidied up later. I let the families watch, hacked off their tiny limbs while playing the Yakkety Sax on loop at full volume. Even the parents couldn't help but laugh. Even when I ripped out their throats, they still made choking noises which I am sure were intended to be giggles.

You can't have "slaughter" without "laughter". The English language tells us so *nods*

Wait, that's a perk of the job, yet all they can give you is an AK47? The AK101's twice as deadly and has a lot more class.

There are too many holes in your story, sorry. I don't buy it. I don't think you killed all those children. I think you chickened out! <.<

I'm beginning to like you.

Yay! Galloism likes me! We can adopt a fluffy bunny! And then we can have a happy shiny party with pretty kitties! And cut them open and drink their blood!

[Ih8uwannakillu]

Provided you don't have any underlying health conditions you'll probsbly be fine, almost everyone whos died of it so far had underlying conditions or were really rateher young. Like a lot of people have said, contact a gp or something if you think you might have it though.

[Lunatic Goofballs]

A friend of mine is in the late stages of swine flu, I took a photo of him.

Wow. Your friend is a cop?

*hides this post from my wife*

[Lunatic Goofballs]

My main concern is what could happen if Swine Flu somehow became combined with SARS, Bird Flu, AIDS, and Cancer, and then mutated so that it could be spread by sneezing mosquitoes.

We could call it the Voltron Plague.

[Dumb Ideologies]

Wait, that's a perk of the job, yet all they can give you is an AK47? The AK101's twice as deadly and has a lot more class.

There are too many holes in your story, sorry. I don't buy it. I don't think you killed all those children. I think you chickened out! <.<

I'm self employed. There's not enough state assistance in the "psychotic murderings" sector since the rise of the New Right and the resultant cut backs in help for good causes like ours. Really, we need a bailout. I use what weapons I can find. A lamentable state of affairs.

And no...I killed them all. Our professional code demands it. I'm pretty high up in the union, but accusations like that could still bring my reputation and status into question, making it hard for me to get the high-class torture-mutilation-and-killing jobs I deserve. I think a full retraction of these allegations might be prudent.

[The Scandinvans]

Wait, that's a perk of the job, yet all they can give you is an AK47? The AK101's twice as deadly and has a lot more class.

There are too many holes in your story, sorry. I don't buy it. I don't think you killed all those children. I think you chickened out! <.<

I'm self employed. There's not enough state assistance in the "psychotic murderings" sector since the rise of the New Right and the resultant cut backs in help for good causes like ours. Really, we need a bailout. I use what weapons I can find. A lamentable state of affairs.

And no...I killed them all. Our professional code demands it. I'm pretty high up in the union, but accusations like that could still bring my reputation and status into question, making it hard for me to get the high-class torture-mutilation-and-killing jobs I deserve. I think a full retraction of these allegations might be prudent.

Really, I am in the Union of Super-Attorneys.

We are slowly taking over ze world by use of nefarious legal traps and government loopholes.

[Saint Clair Island]

Wait, that's a perk of the job, yet all they can give you is an AK47? The AK101's twice as deadly and has a lot more class.

There are too many holes in your story, sorry. I don't buy it. I don't think you killed all those children. I think you chickened out! <.<

I'm self employed. There's not enough state assistance in the "psychotic murderings" sector since the rise of the New Right and the resultant cut backs in help for good causes like ours. Really, we need a bailout. I use what weapons I can find. A lamentable state of affairs.

And no...I killed them all. Our professional code demands it. I'm pretty high up in the union, but accusations like that could still bring my reputation and status into question, making it hard for me to find work. I think a full retraction of these allegations might be prudent.

Actually, I fully intend to bring these accusations before the union, unless you can bring me proof -- say, the heads of all the children you were supposed to have killed.

We've been watching you for a while, Ms. Ideologies, and we're beginning to doubt that you've really got what it takes to be a psychotic murderer in today's difficult economy. Not only have at least two of the people you were supposed to kill been reported alive -- if only barely -- but you're three months behind on union dues. If you don't shape up soon we'll have to find someone else for the Washington D.C. job next month.

[Jordaxia]

Actually, I fully intend to bring these accusations before the union, unless you can bring me proof -- say, the heads of all the children you were supposed to have killed.

you're making my union of psychotic murderers sound like warcraft! I'm not sure you're taking your position as junior clerk seriously enough. I think I might have to make sure that all junior clerks are psychotically murdered by the more than capable AK wielding arms of the sultry-yet-dangerous miss ideologies.

[Dumb Ideologies]

We've been watching you for a while, Ms. Ideologies, and we're beginning to doubt that you've really got what it takes to be a psychotic murderer in today's difficult economy. Not only have at least two of the people you were supposed to kill been reported alive -- if only barely -- but you're three months behind on union dues. If you don't shape up soon we'll have to find someone else for the Washington D.C. job next month.

Very clever. You work for one of the police forces who have tried and failed to capture me for years. You try to tempt me to reveal myself by suggesting that you're involved with the union. And then you expect me to send the heads of my victims, my most prized possession, so that you can attempt to track me down with your puny forensics.

You know where you fell down? Suggesting that I'm behind on the union dues. I don't pay the union, bitch, they pay me, even though it financially cripples them, since its the only way they can close their eyes at night without fearing that I'll stab them out while they sleep. They can't pay much, but its the domination of inferior killers that makes it all worthwhile.

[Saint Clair Island]

Actually, I fully intend to bring these accusations before the union, unless you can bring me proof -- say, the heads of all the children you were supposed to have killed.

you're making my union of psychotic murderers sound like warcraft! I'm not sure you're taking your position as junior clerk seriously enough. I think I might have to make sure that all junior clerks are psychotically murdered by the more than capable AK wielding arms of the sultry-yet-dangerous miss ideologies.

What? How could you possibly think that?! I would never fail to take something like psychotic murdering seriously! In fact, to prove it I fully intend to blow up several educational institutions and brutally slaughter a few hundred innocent civilians later this evening, after I pick up some groceries.

[Saint Clair Island]

We've been watching you for a while, Ms. Ideologies, and we're beginning to doubt that you've really got what it takes to be a psychotic murderer in today's difficult economy. Not only have at least two of the people you were supposed to kill been reported alive -- if only barely -- but you're three months behind on union dues. If you don't shape up soon we'll have to find someone else for the Washington D.C. job next month.

Very clever. You work for one of the police forces who have tried and failed to capture me for years. You try to tempt me to reveal myself by suggesting that you're involved with the union. And then you expect me to send the heads of my victims, my most prized possession, so that you can attempt to track me down with your puny forensics.

You know where you fell down? Suggesting that I'm behind on the union dues. I don't pay the union, bitch, they pay me, even though it financially cripples them, since its the only way they can close their eyes at night without fearing that I'll stab them out while they sleep. They can't pay much, but its the domination of inferior killers that makes it all worthwhile.

Oh, so that's why you're behind. I have the books right here, you can't fool me.

And police? What kind of monster do you take me for?! The very thought sickens me! I'll take good, honest torture and terrorism any day over the affront to everything that is good and just that the police force espouses! Besides, the Commissioner kicked me off because I sucked as a sketch artist.

[United Russian State]

Wait, that's a perk of the job, yet all they can give you is an AK47? The AK101's twice as deadly and has a lot more class.

Ture. But the AK-47 is a classic.