To have loved and lost

[The Plutonian Empire]

A poet or writer once said that "It is better to have loved, and lost, than to have never loved at all." For the purpose of this thread, I will assume he was talking about romantic love.

Now, I disagree with that quote, on the basis that having loved and lost, for example, losing a lover to Death, a person will go over the edge and do crazy, perhaps heinous, things to avenge the loss, or something to that effect, or go to the other end and commit suicide.

I base this on what I have seen in the "new" Batman movie, "The Dark Knight."
Here's the Wiki link for those who want to know what I'm talking about: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_dark_knight#Plot
Movie Plot Wikipedia Highlights:

...At the police station, Batman interrogates the Joker, who reveals that Dent and Dawes' police escorts were on Maroni's payroll and have placed them in warehouses rigged with explosives on opposite sides of the city — far enough apart so that Batman cannot save them both. Batman leaves to save Dawes, while Gordon and the police head after Dent. With the aid of a smuggled bomb, the Joker escapes police custody with Lau. Batman arrives, but finds Dent instead of Dawes. Batman successfully saves Dent, but the ensuing explosion disfigures Dent's face. Gordon arrives at Dawes' location too late, and she perishes when the bomb detonates....

...The Joker goes to the evacuated hospital, disguised as a nurse, and frees Dent from his restraints, convincing him to exact revenge on the people responsible for Dawes' death, as well as Batman and Gordon for not saving her. Dent begins by flipping for the Joker's life, and spares him....

...When Batman refuses to kill the Joker, the Joker acknowledges that Batman is truly incorruptible, but that Dent was not, and that he has unleashed Dent upon the city. Leaving the Joker for the SWAT team, Batman searches for Dent. At the remains of the building where Dawes died, Batman finds Dent holding Gordon and his family at gunpoint. Dent judges the innocence of Batman, himself, and Gordon's son through three coin tosses. As the result of the first two flips, he shoots Batman in the abdomen and spares himself....

Knowing myself, I feel it best to never love at all, because if I love, and my SO leaves me, either through break up or death, I fear I may never recover.

What say you, NSG?

Please explain your answers.

[Galloism]

The tooltip reads: "Wait, no that one also loses. How about a nice game of chess?"

[Megaloria]

The tooltip reads: "Wait, no that one also loses. How about a nice game of chess?"

You sunk my battleship of love.

[Ryadn]

You'd be surprised how much pain you can tolerate and continue to function. Unpleasantly surprised. I thought the same thing once---that I'd surely go crazy or die without the love of my life. I wish it worked that way.

And yet, still, I think it's better to have loved.

[Grave_n_idle]

The tooltip reads: "Wait, no that one also loses. How about a nice game of chess?"

Every time I read that strip, I hear the computer's voice as GLaDOS...

[The Naacal]

It's really a toss-up.

Losing someone can indeed drive a person to madness. On the other hand remembering them (Or, for those who believe in the afterlife knowing they will be together again someday) can keep a person sane.

[Cameroi]

really depends on both or all, in the case of more then two, persons directly and intimately involved.
to have lost by death due to illness, i'd rather that not have happened.

i am grateful for there to have been someone to cuddle and be cuddled by for the most recent 12 years of my life. her passing is still raw and recent and painful.

[The Alma Mater]

Our existence is without purpose. We are adrift in an uncaring void, indifferent to all our mortal toil. In the end, nothing we do matters.

But love makes us able to cope. Or at least deceive ourselves into believing otherwise.
So yeah - embrace it

[South Lorenya]

In 2003 not only did I have a girlfriend, but someone else wanted to date me as well (seriously). Therefore, she fed my girlfriend lie after lie until I was dumped. By the time she found out that the lies WERE lies, it was too late.

It's been six years since then, yet I still have trouble with the L-word. So no, it is not in any way to have loved and lost than to not have loved in the first place, and I would not be surprised if a decent chunk of the people who claim it is have never dated anyone.

On a side note, where the hell is the headbang emoticon when we need it?

[Ryadn]

In 2003 not only did I have a girlfriend, but someone else wanted to date me as well (seriously). Therefore, she fed my girlfriend lie after lie until I was dumped. By the time she found out that the lies WERE lies, it was too late.

It's been six years since then, yet I still have trouble with the L-word. So no, it is not in any way to have loved and lost than to not have loved in the first place, and I would not be surprised if a decent chunk of the people who claim it is have never dated anyone.

On a side note, where the hell is the headbang emoticon when we need it?

How was it "too late"? Had you lost your love for her by that point?

I voted "yes", it's better to have loved and lost. I'm still mourning the loss of my SO, and it's been just over a year since we broke up (though nothing's ever that clean and easy, and "broke up" didn't preclude... stuff). It hurts every day. I try not to think about it, because it really feels sometimes like life isn't even worth living without him. But I'd still rather have the memories of five years with him and all this pain than have nothing at all.

[Wilkshire]

I look at it this way. It is better to have loved and lost than to spend your whole ruddy life with her.

[Post-Unity Terra]

The tooltip reads: "Wait, no that one also loses. How about a nice game of chess?"

You sunk my battleship of love.

http://www.isxkcdshittytoday.com/

[Ashmoria]

it is far better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all.

you cant avoid loss anyway. loss is an unavoidable part of life, to not take a chance at something better --whether it be love or any other cool thing that we have to work for -- is to not live at all. and we will still experience loss anyway. there is so much else to lose in our lives.

[South Lorenya]

In 2003 not only did I have a girlfriend, but someone else wanted to date me as well (seriously). Therefore, she fed my girlfriend lie after lie until I was dumped. By the time she found out that the lies WERE lies, it was too late.

It's been six years since then, yet I still have trouble with the L-word. So no, it is not in any way to have loved and lost than to not have loved in the first place, and I would not be surprised if a decent chunk of the people who claim it is have never dated anyone.

On a side note, where the hell is the headbang emoticon when we need it?

How was it "too late"? Had you lost your love for her by that point?

By the time it came out, it had been long enough (a couple months, I think) that she was seeing someone else. :/

[Galloism]

http://www.isxkcdshittytoday.com/

Someone (the person who runs that site), has no sense of humor.

[Meridiani Planum]

A poet or writer once said that "It is better to have loved, and lost, than to have never loved at all." For the purpose of this thread, I will assume he was talking about romantic love.

Now, I disagree with that quote, on the basis that having loved and lost, for example, losing a lover to Death, a person will go over the edge and do crazy, perhaps heinous, things to avenge the loss, or something to that effect, or go to the other end and commit suicide.

I take the opposite position, for to seek safety is to seek stagnation. "Safe" doesn't fill life will values. It's better to take some risks and fill your life with good values, and if there are any bad consequences that result, at least you won't have had an empty life.

Besides, you are being overly dramatic regarding the death of a loved one. What you describe is not the normal, healthy reaction to the death of a loved one, but only extreme and rare cases.

[Nanatsu no Tsuki]

A poet or writer once said that "It is better to have loved, and lost, than to have never loved at all." For the purpose of this thread, I will assume he was talking about romantic love.

Now, I disagree with that quote, on the basis that having loved and lost, for example, losing a lover to Death, a person will go over the edge and do crazy, perhaps heinous, things to avenge the loss, or something to that effect, or go to the other end and commit suicide.

Isn't this a bit extreme? I know this is your point of view, but if we don't love, if we're too afraid to, wouldn't we be missing out on a great part of the human experience?

I base this on what I have seen in the "new" Batman movie, "The Dark Knight."
Here's the Wiki link for those who want to know what I'm talking about: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_dark_knight#Plot
Movie Plot Wikipedia Highlights:

...At the police station, Batman interrogates the Joker, who reveals that Dent and Dawes' police escorts were on Maroni's payroll and have placed them in warehouses rigged with explosives on opposite sides of the city — far enough apart so that Batman cannot save them both. Batman leaves to save Dawes, while Gordon and the police head after Dent. With the aid of a smuggled bomb, the Joker escapes police custody with Lau. Batman arrives, but finds Dent instead of Dawes. Batman successfully saves Dent, but the ensuing explosion disfigures Dent's face. Gordon arrives at Dawes' location too late, and she perishes when the bomb detonates....

...The Joker goes to the evacuated hospital, disguised as a nurse, and frees Dent from his restraints, convincing him to exact revenge on the people responsible for Dawes' death, as well as Batman and Gordon for not saving her. Dent begins by flipping for the Joker's life, and spares him....

...When Batman refuses to kill the Joker, the Joker acknowledges that Batman is truly incorruptible, but that Dent was not, and that he has unleashed Dent upon the city. Leaving the Joker for the SWAT team, Batman searches for Dent. At the remains of the building where Dawes died, Batman finds Dent holding Gordon and his family at gunpoint. Dent judges the innocence of Batman, himself, and Gordon's son through three coin tosses. As the result of the first two flips, he shoots Batman in the abdomen and spares himself....

Knowing myself, I feel it best to never love at all, because if I love, and my SO leaves me, either through break up or death, I fear I may never recover.

What say you, NSG?

Please explain your answers.

At the beginning it feels like we will not recover. It hurts like hell. All the stimuli from both within and without sends us into peels of pain. But time isn't always unkind, and if you let it take its course, it heals you eventually. And when you're healed, you can let yourself love again.

Losing is horrible, but if we don't expose ourselves, it's worse. IMHO.

[Neu Leonstein]

Methinks it's something like this (from best to worst):

Loving, having a relationship and it falling apart > Not having loved to start with > Loving but being rejected > Loving in secret

Of course, a girl I met a while ago disagreed with this, because her ex-boyfriend became an actual stalker. Which was no good for me, because she just plain refused to take chances after that.

[Naughty Bits]

really hard to say. after all...
Some have never tasted love and are happy. some have tasted love and lost and that devistates them.

yet others year for love and never find it. and still others have tasted love, lost it and are better people because of it.

it really depends on the person.

[Irb Atya]

better to HAVE loved and lost.
because it will eventually go away, and a relationship with someone you love less/like will definitely ease the pain.
i was madly in love with a girl i met in Germany in March 07, like i was really planning to run off to the airport and fly over there and tell her i love her. every thing i wrote from then on became about her and if i had to make a design, it'd form her initials somehow. from March on, i was in a deep spiral of depression, but then in June, i met this wonderful girl and began to love her. i went out with the girl from my town about three times and now, i don't really love the girl from Germany as much as i did.

and once you have loved, and lost, you will know the great feeling of love and will be able to recognise it again when it comes and try and keep it.

[Minnas]

Do not love, that way, you do not lose. Just use to your delight.

[Phenia]

Is it better to lose your love, or be a loveless loser?

[Minnas]

Is it better to lose your love, or be a loveless loser?

Answer that one.

[Phenia]

Is it better to lose your love, or be a loveless loser?

Answer that one.

I thought by phrasing the question like that I was subtly illustrating what my answer is.

[Minnas]

Is it better to lose your love, or be a loveless loser?

Answer that one.

I thought by phrasing the question like that I was subtly illustrating what my answer is.

I rather be a loser than lose to love.