Hello, I'm your creepy stalker!

[Lunatic Goofballs]

If I were a stalker, It wouldn't be out of some obsessive interest in the stalkee, it would be because i like messing with people.

I like you.

But I won't throw a pie just yet.

I will wait for the moment a tear falls from your eye, as you lower your most beloved into her grave.

Then ... BIG SLOPPY WARM CREAM-PIE, right in the face!

You will go far in this world.

[JuNii]

So, NSG, what sayeth you: Is googling another person (and browsing through the links that come up) fair game, or is it an unfair exploit of the new possibilities?

nope.

When does such info-gathering become creepy?

getting to know what type of person the 'subject' is is one thing. finding out what they eat, wear, where they work, how they sleep, their favorite things... that's a whole new kettle of fish.

[Vojvodina-Nihon]

Curiosity is never a bad thing, but there's a reason I post under a pseudonym wherever I go.

Indeed. If someone would not want information to be known by others, they would not post it on the internet in the first place.

On the other hand, if the information was posted there by others, they simply have to be very careful if they want to maintain an expectation of privacy. In my case, for instance, there's a lot of personal information one could find about me by searching my first and last names -- despite their commonness -- including information about my work, address, e-mail, pictures, and such like; none of it put up on the web by me. Rather than attempt to remove all of the information, which would be practically impossible, I just keep "work" and "internet" personas separate at all costs. A random person I meet on the street could find my professional information on the 'net, but not my favourite colour or political views or hobbies or what websites I regularly visit. A random person I meet on a website will, of course, only know whatever I choose to tell them -- especially since I don't recycle handles, using a different one on every site I use (and sometimes multiple ones over a period of several years -- as I did on NS). Of course, I have to avoid picture threads or "what do you sound like" threads or similar, to say nothing of actually meeting internet people in real life, but it does prevent anyone from associating the internet person with the work person. (If someone did find out, I would probably have to get rid of the username/password, e-mail address, and so on -- and quite possibly stop frequenting the website in question. That would make me sad.)

[SoWiBi]

Normal action these days, but some people aren't ready for it.

Interesting. So how would you break the inormation that you conducted such a search to someone who "isn't ready for it"? (Let's assume here that I have a very valid & urgent reason to tell him I did)

yes that's creepy, but acceptable. What i find more disturbing is that you want to know about your ex at all? Surely if it's an ex it means stay the hell away from them?

Once again, I recoil in horror from you all's ideas about how to handle the relationship with an ex. We split in all friendship and no hard feelings, and we're very best friends now just as we were before the relationship started.

Oh, and of course my search was about my ex's new SO, and not my ex - I think I know all tehre is to know about my ex, and then some - but I don't think that matters.

[SoWiBi]

However, now that he thinks you are an efficient if creepy stalker, I'd use the opportunity to casually bring up some interesting but not necessarily true stories. "So, I was looking through Cynthia's medical records the other day, and was wondering if that sex change had any lasting side effects."

Yay! I like the way you think. Oh yes, my imagination is kicking into gear.. the things one could do..

.. though of course I reiterate that I have only the best feelings for both of them, and would not abuse any of the information or even the fact that I looked for it - except, maybe, for some truly benevolent fun..

What free site would that be?

Yeah, right - you won't throw me a collar, but you'll hop onto some dating website. Tss. I'll be over there, silently crying in the corner.

[SoWiBi]

When does such info-gathering become creepy? [/b]

getting to know what type of person the 'subject' is is one thing. finding out what they eat, wear, where they work, how they sleep, their favorite things... that's a whole new kettle of fish.

Yay! Count on JuNii to come into a thread, give a fully on-topic answer pages on, and even provide one of the most helpful comments. :]

[Mad hatters in jeans]

Once again, I recoil in horror from you all's ideas about how to handle the relationship with an ex. We split in all friendship and no hard feelings, and we're very best friends now just as we were before the relationship started.

Oh, and of course my search was about my ex's new SO, and not my ex - I think I know all tehre is to know about my ex, and then some - but I don't think that matters.

Yeah i never really understood why women do that (has never met a guy who still hangs out with ex), either you're dating or not dating, not neither. Nor can i begin to undersand how you end a relationship without hard feelings. I mean i'm not criticising you i'm just saying in my experience i would try to avoid all ex's.

SO? what's that mean? girlfriend? oh sex object maybe ahh
Oh and don't take my words for advice, i have a pretty poor track record for relationships with people.

[SoWiBi]

Yeah i never really understood why women do that (has never met a guy who still hangs out with ex), either you're dating or not dating, not neither. Nor can i begin to undersand how you end a relationship without hard feelings. I mean i'm not criticising you i'm just saying in my experience i would try to avoid all ex's.

Well, it *is* rather clear now - we're not dating, at all. We're not fucking, either. We're friends. You know that thing people do, when they enjoy each other's company and hang out and do stuff together every once in a while? Yeah, that.

Yes, the "no hard feelings" part is maybe more unusual. For us, it was that we both still loved each other, but the way our personalities and expectations for a relationship were shaped we did not fit into a relationship with each other, so we called it off, in mutual agreement that this would serve better to make us happy.

SO? what's that mean? girlfriend? oh sex object maybe ahh
Oh and don't take my words for advice, i have a pretty poor track record for relationships with people.

Significant Other.

I figured that. I've yet to have a relationship end in "flames", no matter whether sexual or non-sexual, and I'm proud of that.

[Galloism]

I figured that. I've yet to have a relationship end in "flames", no matter whether sexual or non-sexual, and I'm proud of that.

My first SO tried to stab me with a kitchen knife when I broke up with her. I've since been very careful never to break up in a kitchen.

Does that make me paranoid?

[SoWiBi]

My first SO tried to stab me with a kitchen knife when I broke up with her. I've since been very careful never to break up in a kitchen.

Does that make me paranoid?

Have you, perchance, had this relationship with certain (ex?) poster on NS whose handle starts with an M (the rest escapes me at the mo)? She had a hilarious story to tell about how she nigh stabbed her ex during the ex-ing..

No, that makes you careful - though I'd had hoped that you'd have learned to end a relationship before y'all reach the point where she's ready to kill you (and/or quit dating psychotic people).

[Galloism]

Have you, perchance, had this relationship with certain (ex?) poster on NS whose handle starts with an M (the rest escapes me at the mo)? She had a hilarious story to tell about how she nigh stabbed her ex during the ex-ing..

I've only dated one poster on NSG that I'm aware of.

No, that makes you careful - though I'd had hoped that you'd have learned to end a relationship before y'all reach the point where she's ready to kill you (and/or quit dating psychotic people).

They never appear psychotic at the beginning...

[SoWiBi]

I've only dated one poster on NSG that I'm aware of.

That's good to hear, because her reasons to feel, uh, disenchanted with said guy were absolutely justified, and wouldn't really befit you.

They never appear psychotic at the beginning...

*takes notes*

[Waterlow]

yes that's creepy, but acceptable. What i find more disturbing is that you want to know about your ex at all? Surely if it's an ex it means stay the hell away from them?

Once again, I recoil in horror from you all's ideas about how to handle the relationship with an ex. We split in all friendship and no hard feelings, and we're very best friends now just as we were before the relationship started.

Agreed. It would take a pretty severely traumatic parting of the ways for me to not maintain a friendship with an ex.

[Galloism]

I've only dated one poster on NSG that I'm aware of.

That's good to hear, because her reasons to feel, uh, disenchanted with said guy were absolutely justified, and wouldn't really befit you.

Oh I'm not saying that I didn't deserve it. I was very young, and uh... stupid. Anyway, that's neither here nor there.

They never appear psychotic at the beginning...

*takes notes*

I can't tell you much, given that I have limited experience in watching trends of psychotic women, but they always do seem to arrange their pens entirely too well.

Good luck.

[Everyone is a Pony]

No. It's freely available online.

That being said, it does destroy some of the elements of actual interaction...

So in that way, it can be destructive.

[Pope Joan]

Thanks to the net, there are no fresh starts in life.

Our past follows us around like an albatross.

Meanwhile Google Earth and other spy satellites are counting the hairs on our heads, and record every time we go into a porn shop uh, book store!

[Grave_n_idle]

If the ex wanted you to know information about the new girl he would have given it to you directly, going around his back to run a damn background check on her is both a breach of trust and sketch as hell.

And, of course, since we live in a culture where relationships count as ownership, you shouldn't violate his sovereign territory.

Hang about, someone at the door.




Ok, that was reality - apparently, we DON'T own people any more.

[Kyronea]

Yeah, right - you won't throw me a collar, but you'll hop onto some dating website. Tss. I'll be over there, silently crying in the corner.

I'm sorry. Here:

[Starblaydia]

Ok, that was reality - apparently, we DON'T own people any more.

Depends which websites you go to. Or so I hear.

[Aelosia]

I almost stabbed one ex of mine, but I never got the weapon in my hand. Should I had taken the weapon, I should had stabbed him.

thanks God I could control myself not to reach the weapon.

I was young and foolish. Now I do not let them to finish with me. I always dump them first *nods*

[Belschaft]

I almost stabbed one ex of mine, but I never got the weapon in my hand. Should I had taken the weapon, I should had stabbed him.

thanks God I could control myself not to reach the weapon.

I was young and foolish. Now I do not let them to finish with me. I always dump them first *nods*

[Aelosia]

I almost stabbed one ex of mine, but I never got the weapon in my hand. Should I had taken the weapon, I should had stabbed him.

thanks God I could control myself not to reach the weapon.

I was young and foolish. Now I do not let them to finish with me. I always dump them first *nods*

Hey, I was 18!

Plus, he decided to tell me...Something really wrong, in a bad moment. I had the thought of attacking him. I never even tried. I said almost, because if I turn around to grab the weapon, that would be it, no turning back after grabbing it.

Now I look like a psychotic psychopath, right?

[Molested Sock]

What dating website...? I know people who are on sites that charge and I can't understand why as there's at least one free site that caters reasonably well for all one's friend with benefits / polyamorous needs.

What free site would that be?

Jmatch, it's designed for Jews and they are already filthy rich.

[Belschaft]

I almost stabbed one ex of mine, but I never got the weapon in my hand. Should I had taken the weapon, I should had stabbed him.

thanks God I could control myself not to reach the weapon.

I was young and foolish. Now I do not let them to finish with me. I always dump them first *nods*

Hey, I was 18!

Plus, he decided to tell me...Something really wrong, in a bad moment. I had the thought of attacking him. I never even tried. I said almost, because if I turn around to grab the weapon, that would be it, no turning back after grabbing it.

Now I look like a psychotic psychopath, right?

Yeah. And the convo in my thread gains a... disturbing context.

[Grave_n_idle]

Now I look like a psychotic psychopath, right?

No, not at all.

psst, everyone - slowly walk towards the exit...