Mating as a group activity instead of a pair bonding one?

[Northern Socialist Council Republics]

[expletive redacted] just let people do whatever they want!

If people want to save their virginity for a lifelong monogamous romantic relationship, then let them do that, because that is their personal preference. If people want to sleep around with a group every night, then let them do that, because that is their personal preference too.

Different people interact with their sexuality in different ways. There is nothing wrong with that. Why do people have such an obsession with controlling other people's sex lives?

Our user base consists for a significant part of teenage boys.

I guess that porn, for them, has been replaced by answering issues.

I've been NationStates'ing since I was a high teen.

Can confirm that I had my sex drive swapped out in favour of P2TM.

[New Astri]

i would like to hear more about how the bonobos tie into all this personally

[Neutraligon]

i would like to hear more about how the bonobos tie into all this personally

Bonobos are known to be a remarkably peaceful ape. They are also matriarchal and use sex to relieve tension, form group cohesion, etc. From same sex pairings to self pleasure, bonobos are known to do it all.

[Juristonia]

..It is way too early in the morning for this.

[Stellar Colonies]

Bonobos are also not humans, so it doesn't make a lot of sense to try and restructure ourselves to emulate them.

[John Titor]

Bonobos are also not humans, so it doesn't make a lot of sense to try and restructure ourselves to emulate them.

Might as well implant spines onto our skin and become porcupines
Surely there's a benefit to all of this

[Feyrisshire]

There is drama over infidelity that gets caught.

There is drama over infidelity that is suspected; rightly or wrongly; but never caught.

Beyond infidelity concerns, there is drama over those who feel left out of sex and dating altogether. Mostly men / boys (more of them claim than women / girls to identify as single, suggesting either polyamory or respondent dishonesty) but not exclusively. Even women have supposedly been rejected, at least from monogamous relationships. I wasn't there, nor have both sides of the story, so I would never claim to know.

But in case it's true, ask yourself this; if there were no expectation of monogamy in the first place, would these women have been just as likely to be rejected from casual sex in that circumstance as from monogamous relationships now? Would that not double as a means of cutting down on drama over infidelity, by giving everyone expectations that are easier to meet?

The average male's sex drive is so intense, so extremely overwhelming against all capacity for rational thought, that in their teen years most boys risk impoverishing themselves for life; much less their female sex partners; by having sex before they could afford children, with nothing to go on but her word of knowing what she would do if she fell pregnant. (Obviously mine is milder, as evidenced by the fact that I am typing this instead of, let's say, watching pornography.) It is absurd to expect them to go from that to having the self-control to spurn the advances of every would-be mistress, unless you think pollution somehow reduces sex drive that much between one's teen years and one's 20s.

As such, with men/boys not having the self-control to uphold monogamy, it's either up to women or a lost cause. And by the aforementioned "more men/boys claim to be single than women/girls" statistic cited earlier, I'm going to go with monogamy being a lost cause.

So why not just drop the facade, and embrace what our evolutionary cousins, the bonobos, did, by making this sort of thing a group activity instead of a pair bonding one? No more drama over infidelity if you never expected exclusivity in the first place. Fewer reasons for anyone of either sex to feel left out, if people have enough variety of partners to not care about any flaws, be they significant flaws or superficial ones. As well, people would be less complacent about the need to wear protection if they did not have the illusion of a monogamous partner. If people were always wearing protection (with the exception of when procreation was intended, of couse), many STDs could be eradicated in just a few generations.

Yes. Agree with this. As long as the only people allowed in this group activity are Catgirls only.

[Techocracy101010]

op as someone who got increasingly deranged over this due to sleep deprivation . Just don’t. Just accept you will be alone get some high proof alcohol and use it to swig down your anti depressants

[United States Reborn]

I can't believe that this is being discussed.

I think 90% of men are capable of resisting sexual urges, anyway.

[The Holy Therns]

I discuss other subjects on other sites all the time. I keep revisiting this one here because it feels like unfinished business.

Dude, you thinking about sex all the time feels entirely like just a you problem.

[Vivolkha]

Look, setting aside evolutionary tendencies (which is a debate that we'll get us nowhere) the reality is that, whether you like it or not, every society will have a set of sexual norms (as a subset of social norms) that every person is expected to abide by. And in Western societies, monogamy for both men and women is one of such norms.

There's nothing else to it, and honestly nothing to debate here in my opinion.

[Dogmeat]

Pair bonding will occur, whether you want it to or not.

This is well-known in the poly community. People "catch feelings" for their sexual partners all the time, and suddenly want something more than casual. There are ways to deal with this, but one way that definitely doesn't work is to ignore the possibility. Which is what OP wants to do.

[Northern Seleucia]

No way in hell am I doing the deed in a group.

[Portzania]

this is what the left wants.

[Ethel mermania]

this is what the left wants.

I am pretty sure it isnt.

[Portzania]

this is what the left wants.

I am pretty sure it isnt.

Yes. I am not making up enemies in my head, this is what they all want.

[Floofybit]

this is what the left wants.

Probably two of them do.

[The Holy Therns]

I am pretty sure it isnt.

Yes. I am not making up enemies in my head, this is what they all want.

Hi, left here, wtf you talking about?

[Land of The Furries]

(As someone who is polyamorous in real life I can honestly say a few things on this.) Yes monogamy is overrated for those of us who are in poly relationships in real life cuz we've been down the road of monogamy and found it doesn't work for us because we find that in our experience with one partner we have certain needs to be met and if those needs are not met we look elsewhere. And we also ran into the problem that the partners we pick that have been monogamous and expect us to be loyal to only them and when we don't follow through you get the same results of infidelity and whatnot and then it ends in break up and/or divorce (provided if you got married and I include myself in that lol). So in turn I honestly don't think that we should abolish monogamy at all just let those who want it live with the problems of infidelity and let them figure it out.

[Adamede]

There’s a lot of reasons why many settled societies adopted monogamous pairings. However if you want to have an orgy go ahead.

[GuessTheAltAccount]

this is what the left wants.

Of all the replies in the thread thus far (and yeah, I'm going to get to the others afterwards) this is the one I most strongly disagree with in and of itself.

This is what people who are neither left nor right; like me; are floating as a thought experiment, to determine from comparing the arguments for and against it whether or not to want it. The left is if anything more anti-promiscuity than the right. I've yet to see any conservative channel condemn Donald Trump's infidelity anywhere near as fervently as TYT condemned Bill Clinton's. You could speculate that the right is just shutting up about it because they want Trump's policies more badly than the left wanted Bill Clinton's policies or whatever, but the truly anti-infidelity would rethink every policy Trump touted by the fact that an adulterer proposed them.

Meanwhile, the right has yet to give a coherent reason why they consider themselves the more anti-promiscuity side.

I assume most people on this site don't agree with Portzania either, yet for reasons I'm not even sure on myself I wanted my rebuttal to this to be the first. Usually I just focus on refuting what others aren't about to refute. Although yeah, I'll get to that soon enough.

[Denoidumbutoniurucwivobrs]

The average male's sex drive is so intense, so extremely overwhelming against all capacity for rational thought, that in their teen years most boys risk impoverishing themselves for life

Can you provide a source for this? Pretty sure 99% of men are able to control their sex drive.

[Ancient Samaria]

Here's an idea.

You live how you wish to live, with or without people who also consent to live that way.

I live how I wish to live, with or without people who also consent to live that way.

Everyone wins. End of story.

[Ancient Samaria]

The average male's sex drive is so intense, so extremely overwhelming against all capacity for rational thought, that in their teen years most boys risk impoverishing themselves for life

Can you provide a source for this? Pretty sure 99% of men are able to control their sex drive.

Yeah, I tend not to let my impulses dictate my every waking moment. I'm funny that way.

[United States Reborn]

Polyamory is immoral, anyway. I don't care if it's with the consent of everyone involved.

There isn't anything wrong with being monogamous.