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1 Billion Lions vs. 1 of Every Pokémon

PostPosted: Fri Aug 05, 2022 10:22 am
by HISPIDA
Please consider the following hypothetical.

A deathmatch between 1 billion lions and 1 of every Pokémon is put together. These numbers are static and do not change, excepting the death of a lion or the death/fainting of a Pokémon.

Rules:

- The battle takes place on a flat grassland.
- Assume that the lions can attack flying and water-based Pokémon, and that Pokémon who live in certain environments have been genetically altered to be able to survive on the battlefield.
- Do not take PokéDex entries into account, as most are just outright illogical (come on, how is Magcargo hotter than the surface of the sun?).
- Assume all Pokémon are level 50 and every lion is in its prime.

Who wins and why?

I used to be on the side of Pokémon. I'll admit it. but hear me out.

There are 905 Pokémon. Each Pokémon can have a maximum of 4 moves, which is a total of around 3260 moves.

If each move has 64 PP, that's only about 238,000 moves, not all of which are damaging. 238,000 is far less than 1 billion.

Also, one billion lions is a lot of lions.

PostPosted: Fri Aug 05, 2022 10:24 am
by Le Enclave Reformas
not really smort, so pokemons.





there's a pokemon named amoongus

PostPosted: Fri Aug 05, 2022 10:26 am
by Lemsrow
1 billion Lions.

The Pokémon will be heavily overwhelmed, especially the massive ones. But then again, there are exceptions. Which there aren’t so unfortunately it’s Lion Game.

PostPosted: Fri Aug 05, 2022 10:26 am
by Vallahalla
Depending on the level of the pokemon, if they're all level one than the lions.

PostPosted: Fri Aug 05, 2022 10:27 am
by HISPIDA
Vallahalla wrote:Depending on the level of the pokemon, if they're all level one than the lions.

good point. i'll add a rule stipulating a reasonable level 50, then

PostPosted: Fri Aug 05, 2022 10:27 am
by HISPIDA
-ignore doublepost-

PostPosted: Fri Aug 05, 2022 10:27 am
by Nepleslia
That’s such an unfair contest - legendaries, anyone? - it’s not even funny. Pokémon win, easily.

PostPosted: Fri Aug 05, 2022 10:31 am
by Rakhalia
dont those games literally let you add Literal God to your team, lions get mogged ez

PostPosted: Fri Aug 05, 2022 10:33 am
by Ifreann
Hispida wrote:I used to be on the side of Pokémon. I'll admit it. but hear me out.

There are 905 Pokémon. Each Pokémon can have a maximum of 4 moves, which is a total of around 3260 moves.

If each move has 64 PP, that's only about 238,000 moves, not all of which are damaging. 238,000 is far less than 1 billion.

Also, one billion lions is a lot of lions.

Lions don't have any moves or PP or stats, and there are Pokémon moves that can target all opponents. The lions would all get one shot.

PostPosted: Fri Aug 05, 2022 10:36 am
by New England and New Wales
Pokémon, while PP may run out, Earthquake alone could take out most of the lions.

PostPosted: Fri Aug 05, 2022 10:43 am
by Luna Amore
The Pokemon. What is a pile of lions gonna do? Most of the lions will be smothered by other lions. Those that aren't would probably fight each other.

PostPosted: Fri Aug 05, 2022 10:44 am
by The United Penguin Commonwealth
pokemon, eas-

Do not take PokéDex entries into account


oh, uhhhh

perish song.

Gengar, Politoed, Mismagius (Brilliant Diamond/Shining Pearl), and Cursola all start with perish song, which affects all pokemon on the battlefield. let's be generous and suppose that it applies to lions as well. so the strategy might go something like:

> pokemon create protective circle around trainer, who recalls one pokemon. layers (from outermost to innermost) go high attack, support, and high defense.
> other pokemon are sent out as distractions to avoid the lions dog-piling the trainer. ideally ghost-types, as ghost-types are immune to normal-type (which is what I assume lions are) moves. for the sake of the hypothetical, let's assume that they're just very strong against normal-type moves and not actually immune
> perish song time
> after perish song, trainer sends out recalled pokemon, who is not affected by the perish song
> the pokemon wall just needs to survive 4 turns. (idk what a turn would be irl, but I guess you could define it as like 10 seconds or something)
> all lions faint, as does every pokemon but one
> victory
> purchase several hundred healing potions

PostPosted: Fri Aug 05, 2022 10:48 am
by The United Penguin Commonwealth
Rakhalia wrote:dont those games literally let you add Literal God to your team, lions get mogged ez


we're assuming the Pokedex entries don't count. outside the Pokedex, Arceus and the other gods are just Pokemon (albeit strong ones).

PostPosted: Fri Aug 05, 2022 10:51 am
by The United Penguin Commonwealth
Le Enclave Reformas wrote:there's a pokemon named amoongus


it's colored like a pokeball, so I guess you could say it's an imposter.

PostPosted: Fri Aug 05, 2022 10:53 am
by Le Enclave Reformas
The United Penguin Commonwealth wrote:
Le Enclave Reformas wrote:there's a pokemon named amoongus


it's colored like a pokeball, so I guess you could say it's an imposter.

BOM. DING DING DING DING DING DING DING. DING DING DING. BOM BOM. DING DING DING DING DING DING DING. AHAHAHAHAH

PostPosted: Fri Aug 05, 2022 11:02 am
by Necroghastia
The United Penguin Commonwealth wrote:pokemon, eas-

Do not take PokéDex entries into account


oh, uhhhh

perish song.

Gengar, Politoed, Mismagius (Brilliant Diamond/Shining Pearl), and Cursola all start with perish song, which affects all pokemon on the battlefield. let's be generous and suppose that it applies to lions as well. so the strategy might go something like:

> pokemon create protective circle around trainer, who recalls one pokemon. layers (from outermost to innermost) go high attack, support, and high defense.
> other pokemon are sent out as distractions to avoid the lions dog-piling the trainer. ideally ghost-types, as ghost-types are immune to normal-type (which is what I assume lions are) moves. for the sake of the hypothetical, let's assume that they're just very strong against normal-type moves and not actually immune
> perish song time
> after perish song, trainer sends out recalled pokemon, who is not affected by the perish song
> the pokemon wall just needs to survive 4 turns. (idk what a turn would be irl, but I guess you could define it as like 10 seconds or something)
> all lions faint, as does every pokemon but one
> victory
> purchase several hundred healing potions

You don't even need a trainer to recall a pokemon, since pokemon with the Soundproof ability are unaffected by PS anyway. There's 17 mons that can have it (including the tank that is Bastiodon) so if even one of those can survive long enough, it's GG.

PostPosted: Fri Aug 05, 2022 11:11 am
by The Black Forrest
Ignoring lions tend to fight each other….he didn’t exclude the legendaries.

PostPosted: Fri Aug 05, 2022 11:14 am
by The Black Forrest
Luna Amore wrote:The Pokemon. What is a pile of lions gonna do? Most of the lions will be smothered by other lions. Those that aren't would probably fight each other.


Silly boy; that’s a gaming standard. Once in the crappy game known as Game of War: Fire age; I was attacked by an army of 1 trillion…….I soon stopped playing after that for various reasons……

PostPosted: Fri Aug 05, 2022 11:17 am
by Kanaka Maol
Unless you have like a level 100…muto? (I’m 100% sure I said it wrong) I’m pretty sure the lions will win

PostPosted: Fri Aug 05, 2022 11:18 am
by Le Enclave Reformas
The Black Forrest wrote:
Luna Amore wrote:The Pokemon. What is a pile of lions gonna do? Most of the lions will be smothered by other lions. Those that aren't would probably fight each other.


Silly boy; that’s a gaming standard. Once in the crappy game known as Game of War: Fire age; I was attacked by an army of 1 trillion…….I soon stopped playing after that for various reasons……

bro imagine the gigachad named b u m i losing a game

PostPosted: Fri Aug 05, 2022 11:33 am
by The United Penguin Commonwealth
Necroghastia wrote:You don't even need a trainer to recall a pokemon, since pokemon with the Soundproof ability are unaffected by PS anyway.


oh, I misread this part of bulbapedia:
Pokémon with Soundproof are no longer immune to their own moves; consequently, if a Pokémon uses Perish Song, it will now gain a perish count even if it has Soundproof.

for some reason I read that as "Pokemon with Soundproof are no longer immune to Perish Song".

PostPosted: Fri Aug 05, 2022 12:04 pm
by Senkaku
Hispida wrote:Also, one billion lions is a lot of lions.[/spoiler]

The rear of the lion army is likely to collapse into cannibalistic infighting before it ever gets into striking range of the Pokémon lines, and to be disrupted by retreating elements that have been wounded or frightened by various ranged attacks.

PostPosted: Fri Aug 05, 2022 12:05 pm
by The Holy Therns
The ones that throw fire and lightning seem like a decent bet.

PostPosted: Fri Aug 05, 2022 12:06 pm
by The Black Forrest
Le Enclave Reformas wrote:
The Black Forrest wrote:
Silly boy; that’s a gaming standard. Once in the crappy game known as Game of War: Fire age; I was attacked by an army of 1 trillion…….I soon stopped playing after that for various reasons……

bro imagine the gigachad named b u m i losing a game


Can I have this as a theme song? You have been warned.

https://youtu.be/ctkmxYkfAsY

PostPosted: Fri Aug 05, 2022 12:52 pm
by The House of Hamid
1 billion (WTF) against 150 of whatever? Yeah... my bet is on the numbers here.