Dinosaur Systems

[New Zoigai]

The Ethopian army of 1335 would slaughter any dinosaurs. So option 2

[USS Monitor]

Can I buy the dinosaurs and use them for something other than combat? Cos dinosaurs are cool and I'm sure there are ways to get good use out of them, but using them in combat does not seem like the best use.

Like what? To sell to a zoo?

Sell them to a zoo, use them in a circus or movies, farm them and sell the meat to rich people at exorbitant prices, whatever.

[Emotional Support Crocodile]

Like what? To sell to a zoo?

Sell them to a zoo, use them in a circus or movies, farm them and sell the meat to rich people at exorbitant prices, whatever.

What Texan could say no to a pair of dinosaur skin cowboy boots? I believe Kinky Friedmann got the idea first.

[The Blaatschapen]

One good thing about combatosaurs is that we can say "Boom goes the dinomeat!".

[Infected Mushroom]

Like what? To sell to a zoo?

Sell them to a zoo, use them in a circus or movies, farm them and sell the meat to rich people at exorbitant prices, whatever.

I suppose. But under the hypothetical it would still be illegal since dinosaur breeding and selling etc are highly regulated by the government (and they would mostly license to their own agencies)

[Autumn Wind]

Velociraptors with battle armour. Discuss.

Show idea.

I believe there was a cartoon of it back in the 80s

[The New Milky Way]

Option 1
I would, I think, buy a few... Not so much for the sake of their military usefulness, but because they are MODERN DINOSAURS!

They are poor fighting weapons, but not bad ceremonial ones.

At the very least, it is possible to sell them to the zoo or something

[The United Penguin Commonwealth]

I… you’ve made many bizarre hypotheticals over time, but this is by far the strangest.

anyway, #2, obviously. a dinosaur is cool until you need to feed it. or it ends up in an actual battle and gets shot by an artillery gun or something… or even just a normal gun. just buy an armored vehicle with a machine gun. it’s cheaper and more effective. the only reason you would want a dinosaur is to brag about having a dinosaur.

[The United Penguin Commonwealth]

At the very least, it is possible to sell them to the zoo or something

I remember that movie. It didn’t end well.

[PhilTech]

I'll choose option 1.

Well, if I have the money, I want to see a new breed of cockfighting.

[Kannap]

Dinosaurs for military use was a dumb idea when they shoehorned it as a subplot in the Jurassic World movies and it's still a dumb idea here. Next.

[Old Tyrannia]

The Ethopian army of 1335 would slaughter any dinosaurs. So option 2

I find that somewhat unlikely actually. Elephants were still employed in warfare to great effect into the 15th century, and as late as the 19th in some parts of the world. The male African bush elephant can reach almost 7 metric tonnes in weight and just over 4 metres in height; the animals we are talking about here could reach weights of 50-80 tonnes and almost 40 metres in length. Firearms aren't recorded in Ethiopian sources until the 15th century and gunpowder was still a relatively new technology to Europe and the Middle East in 1335. So the most technologically advanced weapons available to the Ethiopian army in 1335 would probably be limited to spears, swords, and bows. Trying to take down an animal the size of a large sauropod dinosaur with spears and arrows would be like trying to kill a giant by a thousand cuts; imagine how many Ethiopians are going to get trampled before they manage to kill the thing, if they ever actually do. That's to say nothing of the larger theropods like Tyrannosaurus, Carcharodontosaurus and Giganotosaurus, or smaller but naturally well-defended herbivores like Ankylosaurus or Stegosaurus with its deadly thagomizer. Really, the larger dinosaurs would be near-invincible from a human perspective until at least the advent of cannons. They're not called "terrible lizards" for nothing, you know.

[Pangurstan]

I would buy a ton of dinosaurs and go into the movie business to continue the Jurassic Park franchise

[Senkaku]

Please consider the following hypothetical:

You are an arms dealer. You attend a convention of arms dealers somewhere in the USA. There is a massive auction and what is being sold is a long list of caged genetically engineered combat dinosaurs advertised as being "perfect for the modern battlefield." The host of the auction demos the prize object of the auction, a large T Rex sized monster with "advanced instincts" and "high intelligence" that will target and destroy anything you can target with a laser pointer.

All around you, the other arms dealers are excited and start to bid in the millions.

Do you see any value in bidding for dinosaurs? Are they relevant in the modern battlefield?

They’re not relevant on the modern battlefield and I don’t want one, but I’d join in bidding anyways just to fuck over the idiots who are buying them even harder and then if I fuck up and win, the only downside is that I can now brag about owning a weaponized dinosaur, which seems exactly like the kind of pet a successful arms dealer should have

[Hamidiye]

How high do you have to be to propose cloning dinosaurs as weapons of war?

As high as the writers of Jurassic Park

It was a glorious movie in its sheer level of ludicrousness.

It was the dumbest piece of dribble spawned from the deseased pox-ridden minds of those geniuses that seem to run most of the zoo-meets-asylum conglomerate that is hollywood in this millenium. It was utterly retarded, as seems to be the norm for new age cinema these days. Well, at least it didn't involve some flying a****hole in a cape who wears his underwear over his pyjamas, so that's ...something. I'd rather watch that thing than anything even remotely related to a comic book at least.

As for the thread: no, we don't need the modern-age equivalent of a war-elefant. If anyone actually tries we can always do what the romans did to elephants: douse a few pigs in hot sauce, let them loose on the enemy and watch the magic happen.

[Great Heathen Air Force]

As high as the writers of Jurassic Park

It was a glorious movie in its sheer level of ludicrousness.

It was the dumbest piece of dribble spawned from the deseased pox-ridden minds of those geniuses that seem to run most of the zoo-meets-asylum conglomerate that is hollywood in this millenium. It was utterly retarded, as seems to be the norm for new age cinema these days. Well, at least it didn't involve some flying a****hole in a cape who wears his underwear over his pyjamas, so that's ...something. I'd rather watch that thing than anything even remotely related to a comic book at least.

As for the thread: no, we don't need the modern-age equivalent of a war-elefant. If anyone actually tries we can always do what the romans did to elephants: douse a few pigs in hot sauce, let them loose on the enemy and watch the magic happen.

I realize that "hot sauce" here is a euphemism. But as an interesting point of fact: dinosaurs would not have had any biological reaction to capsaicin, and so would be immune to the effects of hot sauce.

[Hamidiye]

It was the dumbest piece of dribble spawned from the deseased pox-ridden minds of those geniuses that seem to run most of the zoo-meets-asylum conglomerate that is hollywood in this millenium. It was utterly retarded, as seems to be the norm for new age cinema these days. Well, at least it didn't involve some flying a****hole in a cape who wears his underwear over his pyjamas, so that's ...something. I'd rather watch that thing than anything even remotely related to a comic book at least.

As for the thread: no, we don't need the modern-age equivalent of a war-elefant. If anyone actually tries we can always do what the romans did to elephants: douse a few pigs in hot sauce, let them loose on the enemy and watch the magic happen.

I realize that "hot sauce" here is a euphemism. But as an interesting point of fact: dinosaurs would not have had any biological reaction to capsaicin, and so would be immune to the effects of hot sauce.

Ah, damn, the reference was too old, you didn't play Rome-TW, did you? Here, Watch.

[Infected Mushroom]

As high as the writers of Jurassic Park

It was a glorious movie in its sheer level of ludicrousness.

It was the dumbest piece of dribble spawned from the deseased pox-ridden minds of those geniuses that seem to run most of the zoo-meets-asylum conglomerate that is hollywood in this millenium. It was utterly retarded, as seems to be the norm for new age cinema these days. Well, at least it didn't involve some flying a****hole in a cape who wears his underwear over his pyjamas, so that's ...something. I'd rather watch that thing than anything even remotely related to a comic book at least.

As for the thread: no, we don't need the modern-age equivalent of a war-elefant. If anyone actually tries we can always do what the romans did to elephants: douse a few pigs in hot sauce, let them loose on the enemy and watch the magic happen.

It's definitely one of the most blatantly retarded movies (probably a top 20) in the entire 20th-21st century.

It's not only illogical and frustrating but actually manages to get on my nerves. Some movies are dumb but they know they are dumb and try to make good entertainment. This was just purely insulting.

"CGI volcanos on this island are going to kill all the dinosaurs... OH NO! WE HAVE TO SAVE THEM!!!!"

"... Hmmm, there's a bad guy operation on the island where somehow they're going to load them all up into metal boats to exploit them!!!!"

"There's a house in the middle of nowhere, all these arms dealers are going to show up and they're going to buy dinosaurs as living weapons PERFECT for the 21st century battlefield (never mind the existence of modern small arms, artillery etc)"

"GUESS WHAT?! The most valuable dinosaur weapon is sold for twenty million dollars. Oh 20 million dollars?!!!!! Did you even think about this number because it sounds kind of cheap."

"Little kid is going to break out and save all the good guys and then the dinos will come out and attack all the baddies"

Big moral dilemma: "Do we let these dangerous dinosaurs die or do we let them out into the world where they will become a danger to the people? Oh wait... they're Life just like Human Life. Let's let them out. ... And now because ~20 dinosaurs are outside, the military/national guard/police etc aren't relevant anymore because somehow the dinosaurs are everywhere and some self-righteous prof gets to say 'Now we have to learn to co-exist with Nature.'" ... My Lord...

The whole movie is a giant hair pull.

7-8 year old me RP-ing with my brothers wouldn't have come up with something this frustrating.

[Hamidiye]

I remember watching the original Jurassic Park back in the '90s, at 12 years old it was pretty cool, but... hell, the Drinker has a video on it: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CQ92cggLMx8

[Great Heathen Air Force]

I realize that "hot sauce" here is a euphemism. But as an interesting point of fact: dinosaurs would not have had any biological reaction to capsaicin, and so would be immune to the effects of hot sauce.

Ah, damn, the reference was too old, you didn't play Rome-TW, did you? Here, Watch.

I'm familiar with the flaming pigs. That's why I said that I knew "hot sauce" was a euphemism.

[Neon Lunar Eclipse]

Someone watches too much Jurassic Park