The Four Dead People You Would Want To Have Dinner With

[Ethel mermania]

holy shit i forgot about having dinner with jesus

The wine will be very good and plentiful, agreed.

[Archinstinct]

My Dad, an uncle, my grandfather and grandmother on my father's side.

Miss you guys.

[Narland]

This is a discussion inspired by the writing or small-talk prompt "which dead people/historical figures would you want to invite to a dinner party?"
Limit this thread to dead people who are famous enough to have a wikipedia page, not people you personally knew. State who your four dinner guests will be and why, what you want to talk about, and for extra fun, imagine how they will interact with each other.
...

Just 4?
1. Jesus of Nazareth -- so many questions about life, the universe and everything
2. Jeanne d'Arc -- many questions
3. Leonard Euler -- a few questions that make the head hurt
4. Rev. Dr. John Witherspoon -- a few questions about the American Founding

It would be a Lebonese Orthodox style banquet with "come as you are" attire hosted by Dolley Madison and catered by her company. Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart aided by the Ramones would provide the music. I would be tempted to let George Carlin MC but would probably turn it over to Red Skelton instead. During the interludes between courses each person would introduce themselves and entertain questions from the others. I have no idea how they would interact with each other which is why so much extraneous entertainment is provided, just in case it did not go well, at least they had the opportunity to enjoy themselves.

[Space Squid]

One expert linguist.
One person from the Indus Valley Civilization
One Minoan person who can write Linear A
And one spot I reserve for whoever Arch tells me would be most useful to anthropologists (maybe someone who speaks PIE?)

Archaeology is only really classified as a subdiscipline of anthropology in North America; it's conceptualised as an entirely separate discipline in much of the rest of the world.

Given, however, that you're focused on linguistics, early civilisations, and writing, I'd go with whomever wrote the Kish Tablet.

Perhaps they can give you some insight into just who came up with this wacky 'writing' idea.

Good idea.

[Hispida]

One expert linguist.
One person from the Indus Valley Civilization
One Minoan person who can write Linear A
And one spot I reserve for whoever Arch tells me would be most useful to anthropologists (maybe someone who speaks PIE?)

Archaeology is only really classified as a subdiscipline of anthropology in North America; it's conceptualised as an entirely separate discipline in much of the rest of the world.

Given, however, that you're focused on linguistics, early civilisations, and writing, I'd go with whomever wrote the Kish Tablet.

Perhaps they can give you some insight into just who came up with this wacky 'writing' idea.

"hey ur-nammu u know what we should do"
"what"
"so like imagine if we made these random symbols so we could talk to each other without anybody else knowing what we're saying"

[Afrikan Staat]

Do I get to speak their language?

I don't think I can answer immediately. However, it's probably going to be the most unscrupulous and resourceful of corrupt bankers, cultists, corporate exexutives, and politicians.

[Hispida]

Do I get to speak their language?

I don't think I can answer immediately. However, it's probably going to be the most unscrupulous and resourceful of corrupt bankers, cultists, corporate exexutives, and politicians.

i assume in hypotheticals like this you could tbh

[Loeje]

Obviously I have to have dinner with Jesus. Given that I'm a bad Christian, he might make me better. Then I also want Hegel and Kant, I want to watch them talk to each other. Then, just for fun, I think I would invite Arnold Schoenberg. I love his music and it's kind of insane.

[Hispida]

four musicians i would have music with:

biggie, tupac, bach, and shoshtakovich.

i want to help biggie and tupac mend their beef. bach and shoshtakovich i just wanna see interact.

[Loeje]

four musicians i would have music with:

biggie, tupac, bach, and shoshtakovich.

i want to help biggie and tupac mend their beef. bach and shoshtakovich i just wanna see interact.

I would love to be there for Bach and Shostakovich!

[Xmara]

My grandpa on my mom's side. He died when my mom was only 7, so I never got to meet him. But based on the stories my mom and my uncle have told me, he sounds like he lived a super interesting life. I'd also kinda like to meet his brother (the one who stole Hitler's silverware) just because I have got to hear that story. So I guess add him to the guest list as well.

And of course, I also want to see my grandma on my mom's side. She died when I was 16. I want to tell her about everything I've done since then.

I'm not sure who else I'd invite.

[Big Bad Blue]

Whether it be four separate dinners or just one big get-together, here's my list.

1. Bill Hicks. Being a fan of his work, not just his more angry stuff (I was quite fond of using his "Play From Your Heart" bit to sum up the UK at Eurovision because we decided to send something that people would actually like this year) but also when he went all introspective, he would definitely provide some entertaining commentary and would probably be fun to talk to.
2. Stu Ungar. A bit obscure but, as someone who used to play Texas hold 'em quite a bit (not for any real money, though) and as someone who is getting into gin rummy, it'd be interesting to play against one of the best as some post-dinner entertainment. Given that I'm not really a professional in either, I'd probably have to remind him that it's just a bit of fun, he doesn't need to be all big about it because he's whooping me.
3. Alan Rickman. He was one of my favourite actors, even though I'm not really a massive film buff. His death really hit me hard and I still can't believe he's gone. Plus, you know, it's Hans Gruber, Severus Snape, Marvin the Paranoid Android, the Sherrif of Nottingham and Metatron.
4. Richard H. Kirk. Also obscure (but not as obscure as Stu above) despite also being the most recent death on this list, he was pretty much one of the main men behind one of my favourite bands in Cabaret Voltaire. So it'd be fun to have him play something before, during or after the meal.

And, as an honourable mention because she was my pet and because I think she'd be absent for a fair amount of it, I'd like to mention my cat Emilie who sadly crossed the rainbow bridge nearly two years ago. Simply because she was my adorable princess and her hooman misses her very much. I'd probably just leave her a bowl of wet food (or maybe some biccies with a little bit of tuna on top) and some water, then give her a fuss after the party. That is if she doesn't come in and ask to be the centre of attention.

Stu Ungar was almost singlehandedly responsible for ending high-stakes gin in Vegas. Phenomenal card player but a lousy hustler. He would beat everybody so cold they just stopped playing at all. He lived for the action. Used to order dinner ahead of time so it would be waiting for him when he sat down, bolt it and get back to gambling. You'd better get ready for not just a whooping but an absolute humiliation.

[Frisemark]

1.) Lyndon B. Johnson. Think he’d be fun at a dinner party, so long as he doesn’t decide tonight’s the night Jumbo should be brought out at supper.

2.) James Gandolfini. I loved the Sopranos. He’s another guy I think would be really fun to have around.

3.) Captain Edward Smith. Experienced sailor. I love nautical and maritime history and stuff, and the guy had plenty of time at a time when naval technology rapidly advanced. Plus, firsthand accounts of the ships he commanded would be cool.

4.) Võ Nguyên Giáp. The man was a military genius and logistics expert. I very much admire his dedication to freeing his country irregardless of politics.

[Hispida]

Lyndon B. Johnson.

just be on the lookout for lyndon b.'s johnson

[USS Monitor]

Civil War reunion dinner: Grant, Chamberlain, Lincoln, and William Lloyd Garrison.

There are other historical figures that would be fascinating to meet, but I like the idea of having people from the same time period so we can have a more coherent conversation.

[Nevertopia]

My Dad, an uncle, my grandfather and grandmother on my father's side.

Miss you guys.

dawwwww

[The Holy Therns]

Iono, sitting at a table full of dead people would be kinda weird.

[Infected Mushroom]

I honestly don’t know.

What would I talk about even? It’s too much.

[The Archregimancy]

Civil War reunion dinner: Grant, Chamberlain, Lincoln, and William Lloyd Garrison.

There are other historical figures that would be fascinating to meet, but I like the idea of having people from the same time period so we can have a more coherent conversation.

I was more expecting you to go with HMS Warrior, the Affondatore, the SMS Erzherzog Ferdinand Max, and the Gloire.

I mean, I understand you have fond memories of your Civil War homies, but how often have you had the chance to dock and have a nice chat with early ironclads from the other side of the Atlantic?

[The Blaatschapen]

One expert linguist.
One person from the Indus Valley Civilization
One Minoan person who can write Linear A
And one spot I reserve for whoever Arch tells me would be most useful to anthropologists (maybe someone who speaks PIE?)

Archaeology is only really classified as a subdiscipline of anthropology in North America; it's conceptualised as an entirely separate discipline in much of the rest of the world.

Given, however, that you're focused on linguistics, early civilisations, and writing, I'd go with whomever wrote the Kish Tablet.

Perhaps they can give you some insight into just who came up with this wacky 'writing' idea.

I bet they'll have bad table manners, not knowing how to use knife and fork.

[Afrikan Staat]

Do I get to speak their language?

I don't think I can answer immediately. However, it's probably going to be the most unscrupulous and resourceful of corrupt bankers, cultists, corporate exexutives, and politicians.

I gave it some thought, here are my results: former Goldman Sachs CEO Lyold Blankfein, the Prophet Muhammad, my country's de facto prime minister Luhut Pandjaitan, and Donald Trump.

Actually the things I would want to talk about with Muhammad probably will already be sufficiently explained by Trump, in which case I will replace Muhammad with Peter Thiel.

[The Archregimancy]

Archaeology is only really classified as a subdiscipline of anthropology in North America; it's conceptualised as an entirely separate discipline in much of the rest of the world.

Given, however, that you're focused on linguistics, early civilisations, and writing, I'd go with whomever wrote the Kish Tablet.

Perhaps they can give you some insight into just who came up with this wacky 'writing' idea.

I bet they'll have bad table manners, not knowing how to use knife and fork.

The origins of using a knife for dining are lost in the mists of time. The specialised table knife used in a table setting is a surprisingly recent post-medieval development, but people still needed to cut food; so they would have known how to use a knife - they just would have used it differently.

The table fork as we understand the concept was, however, only developed in the Eastern Roman / Byzantine Empire in the late Classical period. So even if Space Squid's guests knew how to use a knife, they would not have known how to use a knife and a fork together.

Which is all innocent (I hope) petty pedantry offered just to add a little historical colour and context.

[Dumb Ideologies]

I dunno. Unless they were very recently dead they'd probably taste really bad.

[The Blaatschapen]

I dunno. Unless they were very recently dead they'd probably taste really bad.

You can always make kebab out of them.

Donner kebab

[Elejamie]

Whether it be four separate dinners or just one big get-together, here's my list.

1. Bill Hicks. Being a fan of his work, not just his more angry stuff (I was quite fond of using his "Play From Your Heart" bit to sum up the UK at Eurovision because we decided to send something that people would actually like this year) but also when he went all introspective, he would definitely provide some entertaining commentary and would probably be fun to talk to.
2. Stu Ungar. A bit obscure but, as someone who used to play Texas hold 'em quite a bit (not for any real money, though) and as someone who is getting into gin rummy, it'd be interesting to play against one of the best as some post-dinner entertainment. Given that I'm not really a professional in either, I'd probably have to remind him that it's just a bit of fun, he doesn't need to be all big about it because he's whooping me.
3. Alan Rickman. He was one of my favourite actors, even though I'm not really a massive film buff. His death really hit me hard and I still can't believe he's gone. Plus, you know, it's Hans Gruber, Severus Snape, Marvin the Paranoid Android, the Sherrif of Nottingham and Metatron.
4. Richard H. Kirk. Also obscure (but not as obscure as Stu above) despite also being the most recent death on this list, he was pretty much one of the main men behind one of my favourite bands in Cabaret Voltaire. So it'd be fun to have him play something before, during or after the meal.

And, as an honourable mention because she was my pet and because I think she'd be absent for a fair amount of it, I'd like to mention my cat Emilie who sadly crossed the rainbow bridge nearly two years ago. Simply because she was my adorable princess and her hooman misses her very much. I'd probably just leave her a bowl of wet food (or maybe some biccies with a little bit of tuna on top) and some water, then give her a fuss after the party. That is if she doesn't come in and ask to be the centre of attention.

Stu Ungar was almost singlehandedly responsible for ending high-stakes gin in Vegas. Phenomenal card player but a lousy hustler. He would beat everybody so cold they just stopped playing at all. He lived for the action. Used to order dinner ahead of time so it would be waiting for him when he sat down, bolt it and get back to gambling. You'd better get ready for not just a whooping but an absolute humiliation.

Which is why, if I want my arse kicked in it, I want it to be by one of the best. And maybe it'd be a good way to get me to stop playing it so much.

I'm also banking on the dead not knowing about what the world's like post-mortem so I can trick him into playing for Zimbabwean dollars. :P

[*]Alan Rickman. He was one of my favourite actors, even though I'm not really a massive film buff. His death really hit me hard and I still can't believe he's gone. Plus, you know, it's Hans Gruber, Severus Snape, Marvin the Paranoid Android, the Sherrif of Nottingham and Metatron..

What, no mention for Sir Alexander Dane (aka Dr. Lazarus) and Colonel Brandon?

Of course, how could I forget those fine gentlemen as well?