A discussion about parenting (throw the tablet at them?)

[Panatea]

Hello

In this thread I wanted to start an important discussion to have - and that is about family and parenting.

Now I was fortunate to grow up in a good, healthy home - there was no drama, no parents yelling at us or each other, no threat of divorce, nothing. While my parents were not some shining ideals, I know that they still did their best to give me and my older siblings a good upbringing - and I love them to bits.

However, these days I can't help but that some people sort of forgot how good parenting works - they either spoil their kids and let them get away with everything, or terrorise their children and abuse them physically or verbally. These days also a worrying trend is that parents use phones or tablets as replacements for taking care of their children and giving them attention, and end up just growing a dependence on technology in these children from a young age. Especially bad considering the stuff for kids on the internet tends to not be like these wholesome, harmless cartoons we used to have like Winnie the Pooh or Moomins, but rather a constant assault of bright colors, constant movement and SO. MUCH. SINGING. Honestly if I hear "baby shark" one more time I think I'll hurt someone! It really isn't good "entertainment" for children, it's so mindnumbing and seeing children just blankly stare at screens while this kind of garbage plays can be kinda scary.

But I digress. What are your thoughts?

[Ifreann]

Sounds like you're describing trends that have existed for decades at least and attributing them to "these days".

[The Black Forrest]

Hmmm. Older people complaining about the youth? That’s been going on….forever….

[Heloin]

Don’t worry, the before time you are thinking about is purely imaginary. I’d say it’s always been like this but it was actually much worse in the past.

[Ethel mermania]

CTW ( the people who make sesame street) did a bit of research before choosing their format and it seemed the quick jump cuts with nothing lasting more than 210 or so seconds is the best way for kids to absorb knowledge from TV.

The question with raising kids is the same as life, moderation in all things. Some self directed computer usage is fine, as long as the parents are paying attention and helping direct its a fine part of early childhood

[Saiwania]

For responsible parenting, at minimum you probably need web filtering software like Qustodio if they're going to be online but they're not an adult. You can't guarantee that websites they come across adhere to ESRB ratings, plus they can talk to all sorts of risky people. They outright don't need a phone unless they're away for extended period during day and there might be need for them to call you. But with a feature phone, you avoid some hassle/complications that can come about if their maturity is in doubt. You don't want them having smartphone until later because it's easily misused and can get them in trouble more.

All of the stuff that is like NetNanny costs money these days, but it's worth every penny for some peace of mind, and is usually less than the cost of internet service itself.

Me? I grew up from 1995 until 2008 when Internet was more of a wild west and before big media companies took over and mainstreamed it. I have fond memories of how it was, and I avoided any major trouble, but I wouldn't recommend it be repeated for any future youth. There are some better options these days for some safety if not control over digital life.

[Mtwara]

The older I get, the less I like the internet. Kids should be outside.

I hate YouTube for kids, even the legit Cocomelon stuff is weird.

When I do let my son watch TV, because I live in the UK I use the streamable BBC channel Cbeebies.

I don't think there's a right way to parent, and quite a few things to go wrong before you can really call it bad parenting, too.

[Loeje]

I think my parents had a pretty good idea with keeping me away from technology as much as possible for as long as possible, and then restricting me to an hour a week for a long time after that. It gave me enough time to run around outside and be a kid, and I read books and stuff too. It was good for me. I also know that not every family is the same, though, and maybe that doesn't work for everyone anymore. Still, kids shouldn't spend too much time on screens, even if it's more than an hour a week it shouldn't be constant.

[Salus Maior]

Yes, parents should be more involved in their children's lives and not leave it up to daycares, government institutions, and internet distraction to raise their children for them.

/thread.

[Archinstinct]

I am concerned over screentime for my niece. During a recent visit she was on a tablet more often than not. I don't want her to be addicted to a screen like I am.

[Crysuko]

I am concerned over screentime for my niece. During a recent visit she was on a tablet more often than not. I don't want her to be addicted to a screen like I am.

What do you propose as an alternative

[Ambrossa]

As a child myself, I really think that there shouldn't be a set way of parenting. Parents, as long as they are not physically or mentally severely harming their children, are in their right to parent their child however they please.

[Hukhalia]

Parents who solely bring their kids up via unadulterated and unmoderated access to phones and tablets should have their children appropriated by social services. Fuck that.

[Salus Maior]

I am concerned over screentime for my niece. During a recent visit she was on a tablet more often than not. I don't want her to be addicted to a screen like I am.

What do you propose as an alternative

Touch grass.

[Ethel mermania]

I am concerned over screentime for my niece. During a recent visit she was on a tablet more often than not. I don't want her to be addicted to a screen like I am.

What do you propose as an alternative

Boy scouts, girl scouts, organized sports, library club. Just going outside and playing without electronics.

[Loeje]

What do you propose as an alternative

Boy scouts, girl scouts, organized sports, library club. Just going outside and playing without electronics.

Also reading! I spent a lot of time reading as a kid and I think it was good for me.

[Ethel mermania]

Boy scouts, girl scouts, organized sports, library club. Just going outside and playing without electronics.

Also reading! I spent a lot of time reading as a kid and I think it was good for me.

Books are sacred objects, agreed.

[Untecna]

Boy scouts, girl scouts, organized sports, library club. Just going outside and playing without electronics.

Also reading! I spent a lot of time reading as a kid and I think it was good for me.

Reading is a good idea, yes.

[Utquiagvik]

As a teen myself, i definitely do like the internet, but its caused some serious problems for Gen Z. People are behaving like they are in a mental hospital now.

[Bear Stearns]

Yes, parents should be more involved in their children's lives and not leave it up to daycares, government institutions, and internet distraction to raise their children for them.

/thread.

[Loeje]

Also reading! I spent a lot of time reading as a kid and I think it was good for me.

Books are sacred objects, agreed.

Sacred objects is exactly how I feel about them. And some of my happiest memories are of reading for hours and hours. The internet just isn't as good. YouTube isn't the same as a good book.

[Hrvada]

I think you need to strike the right balance. I know people who try to keep their kids completely off screens which seems totally repressive and could backfire.

[Soviet Progonya]

Books are sacred objects, agreed.

Sacred objects is exactly how I feel about them. And some of my happiest memories are of reading for hours and hours. The internet just isn't as good. YouTube isn't the same as a good book.

I would disagree, I've read a lot and I don't really enjoy it. At least if we're talking about more traditionally published books.
Imo the internet has so much content - some of which is written - that is great. It depends how someone approaches the internet.

[Soviet Progonya]

I mean, I've had internet access since I was young, and I'm glad I did because I ended up getting into art because of it (seeing people draw fanart), and if you count online games (as in multiplayer) then it's kind of what got me into gaming as well. That being said, even when I was very young I knew what not to do so I didn't end up doxing myself or getting scammed, and more or less knew what shit to stay away from.

I do 100 percent think that kids should be kept away from shit like twitter tho, websites where people post videos or art or gaming discussions are perfectly fine imo, but more "social media" type sites (idk if that makes sense) are weird. Hell, I don't plan on ever going on twitter myself lol. Also sites like Snapchat shouldn't be for kids either, but I don't get the point of those sites at all.

[Loeje]

Sacred objects is exactly how I feel about them. And some of my happiest memories are of reading for hours and hours. The internet just isn't as good. YouTube isn't the same as a good book.

I would disagree, I've read a lot and I don't really enjoy it. At least if we're talking about more traditionally published books.
Imo the internet has so much content - some of which is written - that is great. It depends how someone approaches the internet.

I think kids have to learn to actually enjoy reading. I might actually be the exception here, because I started reading pretty early because I wanted to. But for other kids, it's important to not only teach them how to read but also show them that it's fun. That makes a huge difference. Just telling them to watch YouTube when they don't seem interested in books isn't the answer.