Comical Historical Events

[A m e n r i a]

Anyone mentioned the emu war yet?

[New Zoigai]

During the last military Engagement Lichenstien had, They took no losses but gained an Italian soldier

[Heloin]

Anyone mentioned the emu war yet?

Doubt it.

[Heloin]

During the last military Engagement Lichenstien had, They took no losses but gained an Italian soldier

That's the one funny history story I'd really love to see sourced one day. I've heard it for years and it's both believable and fun, the army of the country before it was dissolved was comically small at only 80 people, but it's one of those stories I've always worried is too fun for its own good.

[State of Imperial Russia]

The people of the Soviet Union so loved Pepsi that the Soviet Government turned PepsiCo into World's sixth largest naval power briefly in order to trade for the precious soda. A navy which was soon after sold for scrap by Pepsi.

In a similar note, during the 2008 invasion of Georgia the Georgian navy was destroyed as a functional organisation with all their ships all being sunk, destroyed, or placed on the back of flatbed trucks and physically stolen by Russian and Abkhaz soldiers.

Who would win:
The entire fucking navy of Georgia, or one Abkhazi Chad with his beat-up fifty-year old flatbed?

EDIT: Oh, and I already mentioned the Emu War.

[A m e n r i a]

The people of the Soviet Union so loved Pepsi that the Soviet Government turned PepsiCo into World's sixth largest naval power briefly in order to trade for the precious soda. A navy which was soon after sold for scrap by Pepsi.

In a similar note, during the 2008 invasion of Georgia the Georgian navy was destroyed as a functional organisation with all their ships all being sunk, destroyed, or placed on the back of flatbed trucks and physically stolen by Russian and Abkhaz soldiers.

Who would win:
The entire fucking navy of Georgia, or one Abkhazi Chad with his beat-up fifty-year old flatbed?

EDIT: Oh, and I already mentioned the Emu War.

I see you're a man of culture.

[Sordhau]

The people of the Soviet Union so loved Pepsi that the Soviet Government turned PepsiCo into World's sixth largest naval power briefly in order to trade for the precious soda. A navy which was soon after sold for scrap by Pepsi.

In a similar note, during the 2008 invasion of Georgia the Georgian navy was destroyed as a functional organisation with all their ships all being sunk, destroyed, or placed on the back of flatbed trucks and physically stolen by Russian and Abkhaz soldiers.

See, this is why the USSR should've won the Cold War. Where Americans chose Coca-Cola, the Soviets chose the superior option (Pepsi).

[Valentine Z]

The people of the Soviet Union so loved Pepsi that the Soviet Government turned PepsiCo into World's sixth largest naval power briefly in order to trade for the precious soda. A navy which was soon after sold for scrap by Pepsi.

In a similar note, during the 2008 invasion of Georgia the Georgian navy was destroyed as a functional organisation with all their ships all being sunk, destroyed, or placed on the back of flatbed trucks and physically stolen by Russian and Abkhaz soldiers.

There was also White Coke, which despite its name is not cocaine.

It's.. and I quote from Wiki, "Colourless Coca Cola made with the request of one Marshal of the Soviet Union Georgy Zhukov." So he requested for crates of this stuff, the Americans got the Cola decolored and put them in a nondescript bottles with red star caps so it looks like your typical Vodka to USSR customs (probably).

"Zhukov's people contacted President Harry Truman, who then contacted James Farley, the chairman of the Board of the Coca-Cola Export Corporation. So Farley tasked the technical supervisor of Coke with finding a way to remove the soda's iconic caramel color. Eventually they found a chemist who successfully removed the color and packaged a colorless version of the soda using straight, clear glass bottles topped with a white cap with a red star in the middle."

[Thermodolia]

The people of the Soviet Union so loved Pepsi that the Soviet Government turned PepsiCo into World's sixth largest naval power briefly in order to trade for the precious soda. A navy which was soon after sold for scrap by Pepsi.

Unfortunately it’s just an internet tall tale,

[Nora Xent]

Ignore.

[Malaiya Union]

Alas, the cause of death of Félix Faure is disputed.

While there's broad agreement that he was engaged in some form of sexual activity with his mistress, the oral sex part of the story seems to have been made up by political opponents
and newspaper reporters to maximise the comic potential of the situation.

The English-language version of the official French government website on former French presidents merely states "16 February 1899; Félix Faure died suddenly at the Élysée Palace"; which seems unduly coy.

Still dying while having sex is quite funny

Even funnier was Pope John XII, said to have died while having sex with a woman, because the woman's husband caught them and threw the pope off the window, resulting in him falling to his death. Or beat him to death with a hammer. Or the pope may just had a simple stroke and died. Scandalous medieval accounts are often dubious.

[Space Squid]

The people of the Soviet Union so loved Pepsi that the Soviet Government turned PepsiCo into World's sixth largest naval power briefly in order to trade for the precious soda. A navy which was soon after sold for scrap by Pepsi.

Unfortunately it’s just an internet tall tale,

Now Marshal Zhukov and Coke on the other hand...

[Malaiya Union]

President Lyndon Johnson was REALLY proud of how immensely large his "equipment" is. He named it "Jumbo" and would wiggle it in front of government officials to show off his immense powers. Johnson would also urinate on the leg of his secret service agent and conduct meetings while he's on the toilet.

[Arvenia]

Jimmy Carter fighting off a rabbit on his boat.

[The Archregimancy]

The time a church floor collapsed and half a hundred noblemen drowned in poop, for one.

That one time when a bunch of german nobles fell into a latrine and drowned in poo. (the Erfurt latrine disaster in case if you were wondering.)

What, the time that's detailed in the OP to this very thread?


This is why you should always read the OP, kids.

[Romanic Imperium]

How about the fact that Pepsi did have a navy until they scrapped it

[Kowani]

(i've already told UMN about this off-site)

[The Tariff of Abominations] was never supposed to pass at all-it was purposely designed to hurt both industry and farming interests by placing a tariff that would also fuck over New England’s imports

the calculation was that President John Quincy Adams's supporters in New England would uniformly oppose the bill for this reason and that the Southern legislators could then withdraw their support, killing the legislation while blaming it on New England. hence the strategy of crafting a bill that would never pass but in failing, would help Van Buren and the Southerners while hurting the Adams-Clay coalition
this
did not happen
about 40% of New England reps put ideology (value of protection) over economic growth and voted for it-JQA then passed it because veto’s were only used on bills the president believed unconstitutional at the time even though he knew he was going to be hated for it
this makes him extremely unpopular and is a major contributor to Jackson’s election campaign-his supporters believed he would reverse the tariffs
yeah that didn’t happen either, Jackson decided one year into office that the tariff was constitutional (which starts the nullification crisis)

[Narland]

1815 -- Allies declare war not on France, but on Napoleon personally.

[The Archregimancy]

How about the fact that Pepsi did have a navy until they scrapped it

As noted just seven posts above this one:

The people of the Soviet Union so loved Pepsi that the Soviet Government turned PepsiCo into World's sixth largest naval power briefly in order to trade for the precious soda. A navy which was soon after sold for scrap by Pepsi.

Unfortunately it’s just an internet tall tale,

I appreciate that people are often too lazy to go back and read the OP, but is it too much to ask that they pay attention to the active page of the thread?

[The Selkie]

Love her or hate her, but Queen Elizabeth II. might be one of the strongest reasons why women are now allowed to drive in Saudi-Arabia - not by arguments or diplomatic pressure or, God forbid, by holding up a cardboard sign, but no... by demonstrating how good women can drive to the Saudi-Arabian Crown Prince (at the time de facto ruler) by taking him on a car tour of Balmoral.
Driving herself.
Using skills she learned with the Army in WW2.
Talking all the time.
While speeding down the estate's roads in a Land Rover.
According to the article linked above, at one point, the Crown Prince asked the Queen to please focus on the road and left the car a quivering wreck.

Alternatively, as we are at people dying while having intercourse, it is not known, if it was directly during the act, before or afterwards, but imagine being Attila the Hun.
Imagine being the sign of the Apocalypse for the known world.
You get a young, beautiful Princess for your troupe of wifes (a lass by the name of Ildico, we have no idea where she was from, but chances are, that she was a Goth or Ostrogoth). People party at the wedding, you retire to consumate the marriage...
...and you die of a nosebleed.
By the time the 450s had ended, Atilla's empire was no more, his sons having torn it apart.
Ildico, we have no idea what happened to her, lived on in Kriemhild, one of the main characters of the Niebelungenlied. In it, she kills Etzel (Atilla) in a revenge plot.

[The Archregimancy]

In a similar note, during the 2008 invasion of Georgia the Georgian navy was destroyed as a functional organisation with all their ships all being sunk, destroyed, or placed on the back of flatbed trucks and physically stolen by Russian and Abkhaz soldiers.

Who would win:
The entire fucking navy of Georgia, or one Abkhazi Chad with his beat-up fifty-year old flatbed?

This is an exaggeration.

After an initial naval skirmish off the Abkhaz coast, where (according to the Russians) a single Georgian vessel was sunk, the Georgian Navy withdrew to port. Yes, the 'proper' vessels were then largely scuppered in port, but the 'ships' that were taken away on flatbed trucks seem to have been rigid inflatable patrol boats; so arguably not quite as comical, alas, as Heloin may have been suggesting.

[The Archregimancy]

Alternatively, as we are at people dying while having intercourse, it is not known, if it was directly during the act, before or afterwards, but imagine being Attila the Hun.
Imagine being the sign of the Apocalypse for the known world.
You get a young, beautiful Princess for your troupe of wifes (a lass by the name of Ildico, we have no idea where she was from, but chances are, that she was a Goth or Ostrogoth). People party at the wedding, you retire to consumate the marriage...
...and you die of a nosebleed.
By the time the 450s had ended, Atilla's empire was no more, his sons having torn it apart.
Ildico, we have no idea what happened to her, lived on in Kriemhild, one of the main characters of the Niebelungenlied. In it, she kills Etzel (Atilla) in a revenge plot.

All very entertaining historical colour, no doubt; but is it comical? Perhaps it's just me, but I don't generally consider the Nibelungenlied to be a barrel of laughs.

[The Selkie]

Alternatively, as we are at people dying while having intercourse, it is not known, if it was directly during the act, before or afterwards, but imagine being Attila the Hun.
Imagine being the sign of the Apocalypse for the known world.
You get a young, beautiful Princess for your troupe of wifes (a lass by the name of Ildico, we have no idea where she was from, but chances are, that she was a Goth or Ostrogoth). People party at the wedding, you retire to consumate the marriage...
...and you die of a nosebleed.
By the time the 450s had ended, Atilla's empire was no more, his sons having torn it apart.
Ildico, we have no idea what happened to her, lived on in Kriemhild, one of the main characters of the Niebelungenlied. In it, she kills Etzel (Atilla) in a revenge plot.

All very entertaining historical colour, no doubt; but is it comical? Perhaps it's just me, but I don't generally consider the Nibelungenlied to be a barrel of laughs.

Admittedly, it isn't. I just included that last paragraph for the sake of completeness, so that we know, where the feeling of "Wait, Atilla dying to a woman? There was something, wasn't there?" comes from.

[Kowani]

in 1995, the Senate Parliamentarian ruled that conveying several hundred acres of public land to the Texas Plains Girl Scout Council in exchange for one dollar was not "incidental to the federal budget", and thus coud be included in reconciliation

[Perikuresu]

Hong Xiuquan, proclaimed younger brother of Jesus Christ, leader of the Taiping Heavenly Kingdom which kickstarted the Taiping Rebellion, a 14 year war which is one of the top 10 most bloodiest wars in history, lead to 30 million dead, died by eating Wild Vegetables

I like to think they're mushrooms but ik it's not