Comical Historical Events

[Desmosthenes and Burke]

"In the late 1700’s, a letter appeared in the major London newspaper complaining that England was being forced to take deported French prisoners. The British were furious and wanted it stopped. The French became upset because the uproar implied that England was too good for French prisoners. Both governments became involved, and they were on the brink of war before it all unraveled as a hoax. The original letter, it was learned years later, had been written by Benjamin Franklin, who was spending six months in England as an ambassador and was simply bored, just stirring up trouble and sitting back and watching."
Found this from that article.

I always heard that story as Prussians instead of French.

Of course, since we keep commenting on my countrymen, my personal favourite is that the music for "God Save the King/Queen" seems to have been originally written to celebrate the recovery of Louis XIV from surgery on his anal fistula. The scalpel used to cut the royal arse is on display at Versailles in the Museum of Medicine. Though it did not really make for much improvement in the smell being around him, since he did not bathe, even irregularly.

[The Selkie]

Well, seems the Russian Navy never really got a break... during the Russo-Japanese War, and after their Pacific Fleet was soundly defeated, the Russians moved their Baltic Fleet to the Pacific to engage the Japanese - which eventually resulted in the famous and disastrous Battle of Tsushima. But before that, on the way, there was this little something called the Dogger Bank Incident.
Believing reports about Japanese Torpedo Boats operating in the area of the Dogger Bank, in the North Sea, the Russian Fleet mistook a bunch of British fishing trawlers for Japanese warships. In the chaos, the Russians even fired upon one of their own ships.
Two firshermen died, six were wounded, a Russian sailor and an Orthodox Priest died as well, a fishing ship was sunk, five more damaged, and the British Government almost declared war on Russia - for sure, they shadowed the Russian Fleet until it had passed Portugal.
During the confusion, some sailors aboard the Borodino apparently believed, that they would soon be boarded and drew their swords to repel the boarders.
It should also be noted, that this incident was only the last in a long string of skittish firing by the Russians.

[Chan Island]

In an attempt to lighten the mood a bit...

This thread invites you to share your favourite comical historical event. Note that the intent is that these should be relatively light-hearted historical events (conceding that they likely weren't always comical or light-hearted for the people involved) rather than snarky commentary on present events. So "isn't it funny how the Austrian army defeated itself at the [possibly apocryphal] Battle of Karánsebes" is in the spirit of the thread; "isn't it funny how the Russian army seems to have miscalculated logistics for its advance on Kiev" is not.


To get you started, and to give you a pointer on the type of historical event we're looking for, I give you the Erfurt Latrine Disaster.

In July 1184, Henry VI, King of Germany (later Holy Roman Emperor), held court at a Hoftag in the Petersberg Citadel in Erfurt. On the morning of 26 July, the combined weight of the assembled nobles caused the wooden second story floor of the building to collapse and most of them fell through into the latrine cesspit below the ground floor, where about 60 of them drowned in liquid excrement. This event is called Erfurter Latrinensturz (lit. 'Erfurt latrine fall') in several German sources.

A feud between Landgrave Louis III of Thuringia and Archbishop Conrad of Mainz which had existed since the defeat of Henry the Lion intensified to the point that King Henry VI was forced to intervene while he was traveling through the region during a military campaign against Poland. Henry decided to call a diet in Erfurt, where he was staying, to mediate the situation between the two and invited a number of other figures to the negotiations.

Nobles across the Holy Roman Empire were invited to the meeting, and many arrived on 25 July to attend. Just as the assembly began, the wooden floor of the deanery, in which the nobles were sitting, broke under the stress, and people fell down through the first floor into the latrine in the cellar. About 60 people died, including Count Gozmar III of Ziegenhain, Count Friedrich I of Abenberg, Burgrave Friedrich I of Kirchberg, Count Heinrich I of Schwarzburg, Burgrave Burchard of Wartburg and Beringer of Meldingen. King Henry was said to have survived only because he sat in an alcove with a stone floor.

You’re a bastard for mentioning the exact event I clicked onto this thread to mention. The battle of Karansebes is such a uniquely unlikely comedy of errors that it must be given its time of day on a thread with this name.

In absence of that opportunity, I have to trot out the classic 1904 Olympic Marathon race. Genuinely, NationStates, treat yourself and have a read of the Wikipedia page. I could never do the sheer, anarchic, cartoonish mayhem that was that race justice (except the time I did a radio segment on it but I don’t plug myself here).

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Athletics ... s_marathon

Alternatively, if battle is more your thing, I like to point to the Battle of Castle Itter. What do you get when 2 French Prime Ministers, a tennis star, Wehrmacht soldiers and the Americans team up against the SS? This meme of a battle.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_of_Castle_Itter

[Aggicificicerous]

The Taiping Rebellion, whose commanding was upheld by one Hong Xiuquan, who claimed to be the brother of Jesus Christ.

Surprising that mistranslation is still around. Hong Xiuquan did not claim to be Christ's brother in the literal sense, and seeing as the Taiping Rebellion caused tens of millions of deaths, I would hesitate to classify it as comical.

[The dragonian knigths]

Just a name: Gregor McGreggor, this man was mad, forget the fake country scheme his whole life should be a movie

[Reploid Productions]

Alternatively, if battle is more your thing, I like to point to the Battle of Castle Itter. What do you get when 2 French Prime Ministers, a tennis star, Wehrmacht soldiers and the Americans team up against the SS? This meme of a battle.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_of_Castle_Itter

Which has a real banger of a song about it by Sabaton as well.

And I'll add to the thread the alleged time during WW2 that the USS O'Bannon sunk a Japanese sub with the most dangerous of munitions: potatoes. I don't have the time to do a deep dive on the accuracy of the story, but it's still fun even if it is a myth or mis-interpretation of what actually happened. It certainly seems plausible in the heat of the moment for someone (multiple someones even!) to mistake a rain of spuds for grenades.

[The Archregimancy]

Just a name: Gregor McGreggor, this man was mad, forget the fake country scheme his whole life should be a movie

This is, I regret to say, slightly poor form.

First of all, you've given Mr MacGregor's surname an extra 'g' and taken out an 'a'.

Secondly, since you've provided no context, I doubt most people have any idea what you're going on about. Fortunately, I do.

Ladies, Gentlemen, and non-binary others, I give you Gregor MacGregor and the Poyais Scheme...

In October 1822, Gregor MacGregor, a native of Glengyle, Scotland, made a striking announcement. He was, he said, not only a local banker’s son, but the Cazique, or prince, of the land of Poyais along Honduras’s Black River.

A little larger than Wales, the country was so fertile it could yield three maize harvests a year. The water, so pure and refreshing it could quench any thirst – and as if that weren’t enough, chunks of gold lined the riverbeds. The trees overflowed with fruit, and the forest teemed with game. Painting an exotic, Edenic vision of a new life abroad, his proposal offered quite the contrast with the rainy darkness and rocky soils of Scotland.

What Poyais lacked, he said, was willing investors and settlers to develop and leverage its resources to the fullest. At the time, investments in Central and South America were gaining in popularity, and Poyais appeared to be a particularly appealing proposition.

Scotland didn’t have any colonies of her own, after all. Could this not be a corner of the new world for her own use?

...

[His] tactics worked precisely as anticipated. They were beyond successful. Not only did MacGregor raise £200,000 directly – the bond market value over his life ran to £1.3 million, or about £3.6 billion today – but he convinced seven ships’ worth of eager settlers to make their way across the Atlantic. In September 1822 and January 1823, the first two, the Honduras Packet and the Kennersley Castle, left for the mythical land, carrying some 250 passengers. The mood was high; MacGregor’s salesmanship had been unparalleled. But when the settlers arrived just under two months later, they found the reality to be a stark departure from the allure of MacGregor’s brochures. No ports, no developments, no nothing. It was a wasteland.

For Poyais had never existed. It was a figment of MacGregor’s fertile mind. He had drawn his investors and colonisers to a desolate part of Honduras – and soon, the hardy Scotsmen began dying. The remaining settlers – only one third would survive – were rescued by a passing ship and taken to Belize. The British Navy recalled the remaining five ships before they reached their destination. MacGregor escaped to France.

If he was at all remorseful, he had a strange way of showing it: not long after his arrival he started the Poyais pitch all over again. His initial investment may have evaporated, but his mastery of the art of persuasion was undiminished. In a matter of months, he had a new group of settlers and investors ready to go. France, though, was a bit more stringent than England in its passport requirements: when the government saw a flood of applications to a country no one had heard of, a commission was set to investigate the matter. MacGregor was thrown in jail. After a brief return to Edinburgh, he was forced to flee once more, pursued by the wrath of the original Poyais bondholders. He died in 1845, in Caracas. To this day, the land that was Poyais remains a desolate and undeveloped wilderness—a testament to the power of the rope in able hands.

[Frisemark]

The time a church floor collapsed and half a hundred noblemen drowned in poop, for one.

[Dreria]

Montenegro was ruled from 1768 until his death in 1773 by a guy who showed up and started a rumor that he was tsar Peter III, which the Montenegrins somehow believed. Tsar Peter of Montenegro proved to be surprisingly competent, uniting the various mountain tribes more than had ever been done before and defeating an ottoman invasion, and the people kept him in charge even after a Russian delegation informed them that the real tsar Peter was quite dead.

[Adamede]

Alas, the cause of death of Félix Faure is disputed.

While there's broad agreement that he was engaged in some form of sexual activity with his mistress, the oral sex part of the story seems to have been made up by political opponents
and newspaper reporters to maximise the comic potential of the situation.

The English-language version of the official French government website on former French presidents merely states "16 February 1899; Félix Faure died suddenly at the Élysée Palace"; which seems unduly coy.

Still dying while having sex is quite funny

Can think of a lot of worse ways to go.

[State of Imperial Russia]

From the second of November to the tenth of December 1932, the Australians initiated a "nuisance wildlife management military operation" to address the concern over the amount of emus running around in Western Australia's Campion District. You may know this event as the "Great Emu War". Despite the fact that some soldiers were armed with Lewis guns and other pretty decent firearms, the Australians' efforts somehow failed and the emu population continued to cause quite a bit of crop damage.

TL;DR: Australia lost to birds.

[The dragonian knigths]

Just a name: Gregor McGreggor, this man was mad, forget the fake country scheme his whole life should be a movie

This is, I regret to say, slightly poor form.

First of all, you've given Mr MacGregor's surname an extra 'g' and taken out an 'a'.

Secondly, since you've provided no context, I doubt most people have any idea what you're going on about. Fortunately, I do.

Ladies, Gentlemen, and non-binary others, I give you Gregor MacGregor and the Poyais Scheme...

In October 1822, Gregor MacGregor, a native of Glengyle, Scotland, made a striking announcement. He was, he said, not only a local banker’s son, but the Cazique, or prince, of the land of Poyais along Honduras’s Black River.

A little larger than Wales, the country was so fertile it could yield three maize harvests a year. The water, so pure and refreshing it could quench any thirst – and as if that weren’t enough, chunks of gold lined the riverbeds. The trees overflowed with fruit, and the forest teemed with game. Painting an exotic, Edenic vision of a new life abroad, his proposal offered quite the contrast with the rainy darkness and rocky soils of Scotland.

What Poyais lacked, he said, was willing investors and settlers to develop and leverage its resources to the fullest. At the time, investments in Central and South America were gaining in popularity, and Poyais appeared to be a particularly appealing proposition.

Scotland didn’t have any colonies of her own, after all. Could this not be a corner of the new world for her own use?

...

[His] tactics worked precisely as anticipated. They were beyond successful. Not only did MacGregor raise £200,000 directly – the bond market value over his life ran to £1.3 million, or about £3.6 billion today – but he convinced seven ships’ worth of eager settlers to make their way across the Atlantic. In September 1822 and January 1823, the first two, the Honduras Packet and the Kennersley Castle, left for the mythical land, carrying some 250 passengers. The mood was high; MacGregor’s salesmanship had been unparalleled. But when the settlers arrived just under two months later, they found the reality to be a stark departure from the allure of MacGregor’s brochures. No ports, no developments, no nothing. It was a wasteland.

For Poyais had never existed. It was a figment of MacGregor’s fertile mind. He had drawn his investors and colonisers to a desolate part of Honduras – and soon, the hardy Scotsmen began dying. The remaining settlers – only one third would survive – were rescued by a passing ship and taken to Belize. The British Navy recalled the remaining five ships before they reached their destination. MacGregor escaped to France.

If he was at all remorseful, he had a strange way of showing it: not long after his arrival he started the Poyais pitch all over again. His initial investment may have evaporated, but his mastery of the art of persuasion was undiminished. In a matter of months, he had a new group of settlers and investors ready to go. France, though, was a bit more stringent than England in its passport requirements: when the government saw a flood of applications to a country no one had heard of, a commission was set to investigate the matter. MacGregor was thrown in jail. After a brief return to Edinburgh, he was forced to flee once more, pursued by the wrath of the original Poyais bondholders. He died in 1845, in Caracas. To this day, the land that was Poyais remains a desolate and undeveloped wilderness—a testament to the power of the rope in able hands.

Like I said the Poyas was nothing compared with what happened after it, I mean he got to marry into Simon Bolivar's family and lived a long quiet life in Venezuela after some other schemes he tried to do in the war that happened in latin America

[Yukon Land]

One of the funniest incidents by NASA no less, was when in 1998, NASA launched the "Mars Climate Observer" to survey the land and study the climate and weather of Mars. However, in September 23, 1999, whilst doing a manuever, the probe went out of radio contact 49 seconds earlier then expected, and was never found, most likely being destroyed. Turns out though, the reason why the probe was destroyed was because whilst most of the NASA crew was using IS units, Lockheed Martin (A supplier of NASA) used U.S customary units

it was discovered that the small forces ∆V’s reported by the spacecraft engineers for use in orbit determination solutions was low by a factor of 4.45 (1 pound force=4.45 Newtons) because the impulse bit data contained in the AMD file was delivered in lb-sec instead of the specified and expected units of Newton-sec.

The accident ended up costing NASA over 300 million dollars.

[Rusozak]

One of the funniest incidents by NASA no less, was when in 1998, NASA launched the "Mars Climate Observer" to survey the land and study the climate and weather of Mars. However, in September 23, 1999, whilst doing a manuever, the probe went out of radio contact 49 seconds earlier then expected, and was never found, most likely being destroyed. Turns out though, the reason why the probe was destroyed was because whilst most of the NASA crew was using IS units, Lockheed Martin (A supplier of NASA) used U.S customary units

it was discovered that the small forces ∆V’s reported by the spacecraft engineers for use in orbit determination solutions was low by a factor of 4.45 (1 pound force=4.45 Newtons) because the impulse bit data contained in the AMD file was delivered in lb-sec instead of the specified and expected units of Newton-sec.

The accident ended up costing NASA over 300 million dollars.

I remember a similar story about a misplaced decimal in the automated flight control system causing a rocket to explode during launch, I'll have to find the story.

[Reploid Productions]

One of the funniest incidents by NASA no less, was when in 1998, NASA launched the "Mars Climate Observer" to survey the land and study the climate and weather of Mars. However, in September 23, 1999, whilst doing a manuever, the probe went out of radio contact 49 seconds earlier then expected, and was never found, most likely being destroyed. Turns out though, the reason why the probe was destroyed was because whilst most of the NASA crew was using IS units, Lockheed Martin (A supplier of NASA) used U.S customary units

it was discovered that the small forces ∆V’s reported by the spacecraft engineers for use in orbit determination solutions was low by a factor of 4.45 (1 pound force=4.45 Newtons) because the impulse bit data contained in the AMD file was delivered in lb-sec instead of the specified and expected units of Newton-sec.

The accident ended up costing NASA over 300 million dollars.

I'm *still* salty about that one.

[The Two Jerseys]

In 1944, General Patton returned to the French village where he was stationed in WWI and found that the locals were honoring an abandoned latrine.

[Diarcesia]

One ancient account of death from laughter is the death of Chrysippus, also known as "The man who died from laughing at his own joke." the 3rd-century BC Greek Stoic philosopher, tells that he died of laughter after he saw a donkey eating his figs; he told a slave to give the donkey neat wine to wash them down, and then, "having laughed too much, he died"

[Ethel mermania]

One ancient account of death from laughter is the death of Chrysippus, also known as "The man who died from laughing at his own joke." the 3rd-century BC Greek Stoic philosopher, tells that he died of laughter after he saw a donkey eating his figs; he told a slave to give the donkey neat wine to wash them down, and then, "having laughed too much, he died"

Its not a bad joke....

[Xmara]

Never forget when Australia waged war on the emus…and lost

Also, not really historical, but still an odd story that one of my undergrad professors told us about, and that is the time an inmate used dental floss to escape from jail.

Horace de Vere Cole, known for his many pranks.

[Senkaku]

Gotta be Caligula riding across the Bay of Baiae. I wish he were alive just so I could follow him on Twitter, the man was a born poster-- even if that didn't actually happen (and I really hope that it did), conquering Neptune and bringing his seashells back to Rome was pretty funny, and making your horse a consul is also pretty good.

[Narland]

Every time an American City sues itself and loses. When I lived in Molalla in the 1990s it sued itself over pensions (iirc). Thejudge denied satisfaction to both the claimant and the defendant, and threw out the case. It's funny until one realizes that regardless of outcome the taxpayers are footing the bill. ( I am still trying to dig up the archive).

latest lawsuit of a city suing itself.
https://www.mercurynews.com/2019/12/04/pasadena-sues-itself-trying-to-escape-cannabis-ballot-initiative/

[Valentine Z]

One of the funniest incidents by NASA no less, was when in 1998, NASA launched the "Mars Climate Observer" to survey the land and study the climate and weather of Mars. However, in September 23, 1999, whilst doing a manuever, the probe went out of radio contact 49 seconds earlier then expected, and was never found, most likely being destroyed. Turns out though, the reason why the probe was destroyed was because whilst most of the NASA crew was using IS units, Lockheed Martin (A supplier of NASA) used U.S customary units



The accident ended up costing NASA over 300 million dollars.

I'm *still* salty about that one.

I like that story because it goes to show that, as another article (Cracked.com, ahh the good heydays) said (and I paraphrase), there is no such thing as stupid questions especially when it comes to 300 million dollar equipment.

Someone probably looked at the calculations and might have wondered why the readings were so weird, but maybe decided not to ask.

-----

Also Lyndon B Johnson has an amphibious car that he liked to take important guests around for a ride around his private land, only to then pretend that his car is out of control and is diving into said lake.

[Thegalon]

In Brazil's cry for independence, D. Pedro I was having stomach problems after having too much dinner the night before

[Xmara]

Also Lyndon B Johnson has an amphibious car that he liked to take important guests around for a ride around his private land, only to then pretend that his car is out of control and is diving into said lake.

This is the only correct way to demonstrate your amphibious car to your guests

[Heloin]

The people of the Soviet Union so loved Pepsi that the Soviet Government turned PepsiCo into World's sixth largest naval power briefly in order to trade for the precious soda. A navy which was soon after sold for scrap by Pepsi.

In a similar note, during the 2008 invasion of Georgia the Georgian navy was destroyed as a functional organisation with all their ships all being sunk, destroyed, or placed on the back of flatbed trucks and physically stolen by Russian and Abkhaz soldiers.