If You Could Talk To Your Past Self: What would you say?

[Chan Island]

Dépends on when I meet them. Are we talking 10 year old Chan Island? Or 15? Or 20? Or me last year? The advice will sound very different depending.

And I don’t really know which one I would want to choose. Maybe my university self, but then again I’m immensely proud of the fact that I sabotaged myself in order to campaign more during the EU referendum, which would be the single biggest item that comes to mind. It was one of the few times I genuinely stood up for what I believed in, and the sacrifices are a part of it.

So… I don’t know.

[Prima Scriptura]

I would go back when I was in the 5th grade and tell myself that I’m an idiot for missing nearly the first quarter of the school year. I would tell myself to stop viewing gay porn and yaoi hentai. As I told older, I old tell myself to stop cybering and actually do the homework that I was assigned. In high school, I would tell myself not to come out and just keep your mouth shut, and once again, tell myself to do my school work. I would tell myself to buckle up because life isn’t going to get any easier after primary school.

I would tell 2015 Prima not do drop out of college. Even though the pain of losing your father is the greatest pain they you would ever feel, dropping out of college will lead to suicidal ideation and crippling depression.

[Space Squid]

"Take this sports almanac and don't ask questions."

[Mercatus]

I would’ve gone back to my early 2021 self and said this:

“Get a job earlier than I did, save the money, arm yourself, and get ready to boogie, because the world is about to get a lot worse.”

[Herador]

Don't go into that bathroom.

[Adamede]

Don't go into that bathroom.

I'm afraid to ask for context.

[Awesomeland]

I actually have a very specific protocol in place just for this kind of occurrence. If this protocol were to be invoked, I would have done whatever the individual invoking it told me to do, no matter how crazy it sounded. Especially if it sounded crazy. That nobody has invoked this protocol suggests that time travel isn't going to be happening anytime soon. I mean, we've all heard the story: Time traveller goes back in time, talks to his past self, spends a lot of time and energy finally arguing himself into being listened to. That's bad planning right there. Be better prepared than that!

[Anne of Cleves in TNP]

I would say to myself in 1st grade: “Stop being such a troublemaker at school”

[West Bromwich Holme]

I'd go back to my 2003 self, and tell him "Don't be such a hellion, you ended up being a total dork, and yes, you had poor social skills, but that was no excuse for being a hellion. Don't try to be the edgy kid in college *, it didn't work".

* College being the UK meaning, not American.

OK, so the 2000s were generally okay for me, but 2003-summer of 2004 weren't so good really, won't say why for personal reasons.

[The Alma Mater]

Buy Bitcoin. In 2010.

"Do not LOSE the drive with 100 bitcoins you bought for fun for 10 bucks or so"

[Cannot think of a name]

1. GI Joe is terrible. If you feel the need to be up to date on it, read the comics and the backs of the toy packaging, use the rest of the time to practice or do your homework or I don't know...learn how to talk to girls or something.

2. You can stop trying, the first series of Robotech makes no goddamn sense. It's a hodge podge and they didn't really try. But you can watch because it looks neat.

3. Being offered lessons was not a remedial thing, it meant you were standing out and being offered lessons by, it turns out, the best instructor available. Say. Yes. You unbelievable ass.

4. In general your access to expert instruction is what later will be called 'privilege.' It's fucked up that it's not as accessible to everyone but pissing it away won't solve the injustice so fucking pay attention, not everyone gets this.

5. You're letting a handful of people who aggressively don't like you shape your perception. It turns out no one likes those people either and are either neutral about you or kinda like you and wish you'd make that a little easier.

6. That guy your dad listens to on the radio is the beginning of a toxic talk radio environment and when his show goes national it will shape American politics for the worse. You don't have to agree with it just because your dad does.

7. Your hair will not last. Don't waste what little time you have with it on a mullet.

8. If you're gonna let your freak flag fly, let it fly. Kinda letting it fly and apologizing for it is what's making it suck, not you 'sticking out.'

9. All of this shit is going to fall apart your senior year. It's going to take a really long time to get out of that trainwreck, might as well follow your bliss instead of sitting around and thinking that your shit will get together next month for sure for ten years.

10. That thing everyone keeps saying you're good at, just embrace it. If you had you could have still made a career around cars and music or whatever. Anyway, don't fight it. Work on it. Finding out you're good at something is only the beginning.

11. Literally just had this tested last year-you keep getting bumped around and put in special classes and having to see different professionals is because you're 'gifted' but no one knows how to deal with it so they think you're broken. This apparently will bum you the fuck out for a few decades if you let it because up until you're actual old you will believe you're a high functioning idiot and people telling you you're 'smart' are like people high fiving developmentally disabled people. But also, 'gifted' doesn't actually mean you're smart, it just means that you have a talent for the kinds of things they test, so calm the fuck down there Einstein, you're still going to do, say, and believe some monumentally stupid shit.

12. You will never register that Porsche. It still might be worth it, but just heads up, it's a money pit that will never really work right or be driven legally.

13. Jo is in to you. Don't make it that hard for her. Also, eventually she won't be. Be cool. It's not the end of the world, this is the time you two had and you'll have time with others as you go. Not a lot, so make the best of it when it happens.

14. If you're doing sports like soccer and swim team and you're still 'husky', maybe look at your diet a little bit. Or a lot. Look at it a lot. It'll be harder habit to break later. It might be easier to just stay small instead of getting fat, losing weight, hit an obstacle, get fat etc.

15. You're trying to get people to take your seriously, so stop running screaming in the other direction every time that happens. Spoiler: Fucking up is actually better than not trying.

16. Do not get that credit card.

17. Do not get that student loan.

18. Make sure you're carrying your current proof of insurance. You will not believe how long that will effect you.

19. If someone asks you if you want to join them it's because they want you to join them and not 'just to be polite', turning them down all the time means they'll stop asking.

20. You didn't buy Mattel stock, your dad conned you out of $5. As best I can tell, that's what investing is.

21. While we're on it, your dad is getting by entirely on charm, this is not a behavior to model. Especially since you are not as charming as he is.

22. Gay as a pejorative is dumb. Don't use it. You already don't like 'fag', put the pieces together you idjit.

23. Your friend is struggling. You'll regret losing touch when he's gone.

24. Your brother is cooler than you think. Don't wait until you're both adults to connect with him. Also, stop throwing him around, he doesn't think it's funny it's terrifying him. He's the only one in your family you'll be able to relate to eventually, might as well get a head start.

25. You will never be good at karate and that's okay, you'll also never get in a fight. Just enjoy it for what it is.

I was a little piece of shit, though, so I won't listen to any of this.

[Sarzonia]

It's going to take you a while to come to terms with it, but you're gay. There's nothing wrong with that. You're awesome the way you are.

Don't worry about what your "family" or anyone else says about your going no-contact with parents. You're actually way ahead of the curve. Your inner peace is more important than keeping up appearances.

Also, your parents refuse to take "no" for an answer. That's their problem, not yours.

[Nova Dardalia]

Its worth waiting for some things.
Despite the banter from your friends, you do eventually get over it.
The winning lottery numbers for the next decade are...

[Vojvodina-Nihon]

Travel back to 2004. Inform my younger self that this is the best things will ever get, nothing will ever go right from here on out, anyone who tells you things can get better is lying to you, and you're never going to have a life worth living. Subsequently, push my younger self out of a twelfth story window/in front of a train/etc.

There's not really a different possible answer but I also contemplated some low-level self-trolling, such as informing myself of a great investment opportunity coming up into a few years into which I should definitely sink my life savings, called Theranos,

[Untecna]

I'd probably try and teach my younger self what I know now, not just about myself, but about what I've learned, so they can be prepared for my present and their future.

Plus, I'd tell them about me being LGBT. They likely wouldn't understand, but hey, they will eventually.

[Platoon of Peace]

The number one thing would be to stop taking shit and stand up for yourself, even if it means fighting or getting in trouble.

Other things I would say would be stuff like be more respectful of others opinions involved in more theater stuff. That and to stop pushing away the people you like

[Bear Stearns]

try harder in everything you do

[Untecna]

6. That guy your dad listens to on the radio is the beginning of a toxic talk radio environment and when his show goes national it will shape American politics for the worse. You don't have to agree with it just because your dad does.

Oh boy...

[El Lazaro]

Don't go into that bathroom.

I'm afraid to ask for context.

I’m not.

Don't go into that bathroom.

Context???

[Nora Xent]

I would tell my past-self to 'not trust rattle'.

[Incelistan The Dearest]

You are doing the right thing.

[Zanforadon]

Honestly, try to make more connections. Don't be afraid to talk to people. Hell, ask women you find sweet and funny on a date and see how it works out. Don't let that one episode of Most Extreme screw you over in the future.

[New Ulsan]

If I meet myself somewhere between October 2017 and June 2020, I'd tell myself

Don't delete your meme account. You're going to have many adventures and they will be posted in there.

I deleted it because I wanted the registered mail for my personal account. Now I regret it ):

[Yamphrip]

Don't keep forgetting that your nations blow up eventually.

Also get a job out of school and brace yourself.

[Les Suisse]

"You're dumb as f***"