NationStates

Inspired by the locked thread of someone venting about their cousin "failing" at life, I've started to ponder... what exactly does "failing at life" mean, exactly?

Certainly, what one person sees as failing at life, another sees as living their life to the fullest. Whereas one would look at me pissing almost exactly half of my life away on this site (under several accounts) and see that as a failure, someone else could see it as not being a failure, compared to someone else who from my perspective is doing better in life than I am.

So, what do you think "failing at life" means, NSG? How, exactly, do you fail in life?

Personally, I feel failing at life is, for the most part, subjective, based on your perspective, which of course means that it is very unlikely that most who seem to "fail" at life will ever acknowledge that they are failing in life, while in certain situations, what you see as failure may not necessarily be seen as failure (compare: living at home in your 30s in a western culture and an East Asian culture). That being said, you fail at life if you committed a heinous crime, like murder, rape, or kidnapping, just to name a few. To do these sorts of crimes means that your life has, quite objectively, failed, given that something must have gone seriously wrong somewhere.

Luziyca wrote:So, what do you think "failing at life" means, NSG? How, exactly, do you fail in life?

Being an unnecessary tax burden on the middle class, like chris chan.

I don't work, but I'm still not a tax burden generally speaking. I don't collect welfare or utilize any government programs, mainly because I'm uncertain I could get past any means testing that is typically done to be eligible. The one exception being the stimulus checks but it isn't my fault or problem if the IRS just decided that I'm eligible and sent it to me.

So, a grand total of $3,200 worth of free money. Its really nothing substantial in terms of supporting anyone. I don't feel guilty cashing in that context. The entire point was for it to be spent but I set aside a good amount for later or indefinitely.

I would consider myself a failure at life for reasons I'd rather not get into publicly.

Luziyca wrote:How, exactly, do you fail in life?

Die I guess.

Finally. A thread for me.

Failing at life is achieving none of the things you wish you could. For instance, being a pro gamer. I failed at that, and consider myself to have failed at life. I will never amount to anything more. It is a treasure I cannot possess.

Ok maybe it's not that dramatic. But I agree that "failing" at life differs between people. I might consider the above to be a failure, but others not. I'm still young though so I can amount to something.

You fail at life by making a series of stupid decisions, not learning from your mistakes, and rejecting good advice. Good examples of this include my aforementioned cousin and Chris-chan.

Heloin wrote:

Luziyca wrote:How, exactly, do you fail in life?

Die I guess.

...I don't know, if you die after a long life, is it really failure?

Luziyca wrote:

Heloin wrote:Die I guess.

...I don't know, if you die after a long life, is it really failure?

Lived a long time but didn’t create world peace.

Luziyca wrote:Inspired by the locked thread of someone venting about their cousin "failing" at life

Your link takes me to a Canadian news article about covid restrictions. Might want to fix that. Here's the correct link: viewtopic.php?f=20&t=511109

Anyway, as I posted in the previous thread, I've seen a few downward spirals, the most notable one being my older half-brother's. But idk if I want to get into detail here.

Failure requires intended aspirations to not be met. We do not get everything we want in life (hopefully), but if you attain the things that are most important to you, you have "succeeded". This is subjective and can be anything to anyone.

Heloin wrote:

Luziyca wrote:...I don't know, if you die after a long life, is it really failure?

Lived a long time but didn’t create world peace.

>implying world peace is possible

Xmara wrote:

Luziyca wrote:Inspired by the locked thread of someone venting about their cousin "failing" at life

Your link takes me to a Canadian news article about covid restrictions. Might want to fix that. Here's the correct link: viewtopic.php?f=20&t=511109

Anyway, as I posted in the previous thread, I've seen a few downward spirals, the most notable one being my older half-brother's. But idk if I want to get into detail here.

Thanks. I'm going to blame it on my copy and paste function on this year-old laptop being crap: I swear I have to like ctrl+c many times for it to get it right on the clipboard.

Indomitable Friendship wrote:Failure requires intended aspirations to not be met. We do not get everything we want in life (hopefully), but if you attain the things that are most important to you, you have "succeeded". This is subjective and can be anything to anyone.

I definitely agree with you on that one, even though I still think that if you've committed a heinous crime, you've objectively failed in life, because we all have different goals, aspirations, and cultural references for which we base our notions on "failure" on, and so thus, when it comes to subjective failure in life, like the original OP's cousin, from his point of view, if this is what he wants in life, he's not failing in life, even if from the point of view of the OP and their family, he is failing in life.

Indomitable Friendship wrote:Failure requires intended aspirations to not be met. We do not get everything we want in life (hopefully), but if you attain the things that are most important to you, you have "succeeded". This is subjective and can be anything to anyone.

I definitely agree with you on that one, even though I still think that if you've committed a heinous crime, you've objectively failed in life, because we all have different goals, aspirations, and cultural references for which we base our notions on "failure" on, and so thus, when it comes to subjective failure in life, like the original OP's cousin, from his point of view, if this is what he wants in life, he's not failing in life, even if from the point of view of the OP and their family, he is failing in life.[/quote]
I have never understood this type of universality and it is fairly alien to me. I find the notion of judging another as a "success" or a "failure" by your personal philosophical framework to be relatively strange. For example, if someone wants to be a serial killer and they do this and are fulfilled by it, I technically have to agree they are a "success" because they succeeded at attaining their core objectives. Likewise, I personally find things like competitive eating disgusting, but if someone wants to be a champion at it and they achieve this, I also cannot say they did not "succeed at life", despite my aversion to such an activity. I won't even touch the subjectivity of "crime" and the infinite contexts that can be attached to each circumstance.

Anyways, me the relativist.

Muh bad, Luziyca, I botched teh quote. This reply was to you.

Indomitable Friendship wrote:

Luziyca wrote:I definitely agree with you on that one, even though I still think that if you've committed a heinous crime, you've objectively failed in life, because we all have different goals, aspirations, and cultural references for which we base our notions on "failure" on, and so thus, when it comes to subjective failure in life, like the original OP's cousin, from his point of view, if this is what he wants in life, he's not failing in life, even if from the point of view of the OP and their family, he is failing in life.

I have never understood this type of universality and it is fairly alien to me. I find the notion of judging another as a "success" or a "failure" by your personal philosophical framework to be relatively strange. For example, if someone wants to be a serial killer and they do this and are fulfilled by it, I technically have to agree they are a "success" because they succeeded at attaining their core objectives. Likewise, I personally find things like competitive eating disgusting, but if someone wants to be a champion at it and they achieve this, I also cannot say they did not "succeed at life", despite my aversion to such an activity. I won't even touch the subjectivity of "crime" and the infinite contexts that can be attached to each circumstance.

Anyways, me the relativist.

Muh bad, Luziyca, I botched teh quote. This reply was to you.

Nothing a little technology can't fix.

Yeah, I am pretty relativistic too. Accumulating a fuckton of wealth, for example, can be seen as both a success in life, since I reckon most of us want to be well off and do a fuckton of things without worrying about where our next meal is going to come from, but also as a failure, given that if you accumulate a fuckton of wealth, that wealth has to come from somewhere, and it tends to come from the workers' labour. Likewise, living with your parents can be seen as a failure, as you are expected in western societies to move out and live on your own, while in many other societies, living with your parents is not a failure, given that just as they raised you and took care of you while you were younger, you should take care of them as they get older.

I do think that crime is an exception for that, because even if said serial killer did accomplish their life goals (to kill as many people as possible), it is very much at the expense of the fabric of any society, given that murdering people for no real reason tends to be frowned upon in pretty much every culture, as such deeds are quite objectively, horrific.

Back when I was in high school, there was this one girl named Danyelle who was very smart and very cute. I had a huge crush on her, but never asked her out because I felt that she was out of my league. The last day I saw her was 14 years ago when we graduated. She came up in a conversation I had with an old mutual friend a couple months ago. She told me that Danyelle's life went downhill bigtime after high school. She dropped out of college, became a drug addict (marijuana, cocaine, LSD, ecstasy, amphetamine, pills, etc.), has never held a job longer than a few months, has been arrested multiple times, and been homeless twice. I looked her up on Facebook out of curiosity and what I saw on her profile pretty much confirmed this. Her recent photos on Facebook scared the crap out of me because she looks horrible now, almost like a zombie. Even though she is in her early 30s, she looks like she is almost 50.

She is a perfect example of failing at life here. She is also an example of "stupid is as stupid does."

Well, most of my HS graduating class graduated college early and got jobs in high ranking positions or started their own business right out of college.

Meanwhile, I'm posting on NSG.

New haven america wrote:Well, most of my HS graduating class graduated college early and got jobs in high ranking positions or started their own business right out of college.

Meanwhile, I'm posting on NSG.

Sounds like you got out better.

New haven america wrote:Well, most of my HS graduating class graduated college early and got jobs in high ranking positions or started their own business right out of college.

Meanwhile, I'm posting on NSG.

...damn.

I guess it would be hard to feel like you failed at life if you never really keep up with your former high school classmates. Like, sure, I see many of them working jobs and given I'm still in university and haven't had proper employment, I feel like I am a bit of a failure myself, but at the same time, compared to many examples, I don't feel like I necessarily failed as badly in life.

I guess you fail when you dont pass school and end up in some form of secondary education/construction industry related thing since thats literally what you spend the first 18 years of your life trying to achieve. If you're still living with your parents at like 25 you've obviously failed somewhere.

Heloin wrote:

Luziyca wrote:How, exactly, do you fail in life?

Die I guess.

Dying is how you succeed in life. You finished the game.

The Hazar Amisnery wrote:I guess you fail when you dont pass school and end up in some form of secondary education/construction industry related thing since thats literally what you spend the first 18 years of your life trying to achieve. If you're still living with your parents at like 25 you've obviously failed somewhere.

25? Nah. I’m 23 and I still live with my parents. IMO living with your parents as an adult is only “bad” if you’re basically a freeloader.

It’s really subjective. And it can also depend on what societal expectations are too, for that individual.

I really don't believe there is such a thing.

Saiwania wrote:I don't work, but I'm still not a tax burden generally speaking. I don't collect welfare or utilize any government programs, mainly because I'm uncertain I could get past any means testing that is typically done to be eligible. The one exception being the stimulus checks but it isn't my fault or problem if the IRS just decided that I'm eligible and sent it to me.

So, a grand total of $3,200 worth of free money. Its really nothing substantial in terms of supporting anyone. I don't feel guilty cashing in that context. The entire point was for it to be spent but I set aside a good amount for later or indefinitely.

With respect, you're terrible at fascism.

"Failing at life" is a joke. I hear the phrase directed most often at people who don't understand a cultural trend or made a minor social faux pas. Hence, telling someone "you fail at life" is much less pungent than "you're a failure."

The Hazar Amisnery wrote:I guess you fail when you dont pass school and end up in some form of secondary education/construction industry related thing since thats literally what you spend the first 18 years of your life trying to achieve. If you're still living with your parents at like 25 you've obviously failed somewhere.

Multigenerational housing is a historical norm, and what with how poor the future for young people looks, it's going to become commoner.