Failing at life

[FNU]

I don't truthfully understand what defines it. Perhaps it's living long enough to plague yourself with guilt, perhaps it's not being able to financially support yourself. Honestly, I can't be sure. Metrics of failure aren't like the metrics of say, weighing a loaf of bread. One is absolute, the other completely subjective to the person it's being applied upon. Maybe with the passage of time I'll be able to form my concept of it far better, but for now, it's another one of the many questions that'll haunt me at two in the morning.

[Major-Tom]

It is subjective to an extent, though cultural norms play a major role as well. Our inner ambitions and broader society shape for each individual what it means to succeed and to fail.

Although, I'd also argue that some more widely accepted standards, such as being a rapist, are so broadly accepted across all cultures that we may as well label it as an objective way to fail.

[Infected Mushroom]

This sounds terrible.

Add being stuck in a terrible marriage (honestly one of my greatest fears), throw in some heavy and very damaging substance abuse and it just about completes it. I'd say the three things would work together to create ultimate misery.

Its nearly impossible to get stuck in a bad marriage. You can always divorce or walk away from such a relationship usually, unless you're too afraid or unwilling to take the loss that you could get as a result or if you're economically dependent on the other person and you know you'll immediately be screwed without them.

Most of my relatives cling on to very clearly and objectively failed marriages. If there’s an economic incentive to stay married, then there’s still the bitterness that they were led by the other party to structure their life to create such dependency.

I wouldn’t touch the institution with a ten foot pole though of course out of politeness, I’ll still congratulate those who get newly married but only out of a sense of social convention. When I say Good Luck I mean it, in the sense of “yeah you’ve really got an uphill battle here. To the extent I can bless you with luck I offer it.”

[The Imperium man]

Falling at life? Nobody cares about your statement , you fedora neckbeard

[Luziyca]

It is subjective to an extent, though cultural norms play a major role as well. Our inner ambitions and broader society shape for each individual what it means to succeed and to fail.

Although, I'd also argue that some more widely accepted standards, such as being a rapist, are so broadly accepted across all cultures that we may as well label it as an objective way to fail.

Yeah, I think that pretty much sums up my views that I probably couldn't.

[Forget MeNot]

Totally subjective. I feel I could be doing better in many aspects of life at many times in my life. I also feel that "failing" isn't concrete. Life has seasons.. some are better than others and there is always an opportunity to start anew.

[Esternial]

It is subjective to an extent, though cultural norms play a major role as well. Our inner ambitions and broader society shape for each individual what it means to succeed and to fail.

Although, I'd also argue that some more widely accepted standards, such as being a rapist, are so broadly accepted across all cultures that we may as well label it as an objective way to fail.

Being a piece of shit vs. a failure still differs somewhat.

Whether or not someone is a failure, I think, hinges largely on how they are impacted by society and their position therein. Someone like Harvey Weinstein can now be considered a failure, but before he got caught he was not. The thing that changed his status from success to failure was getting caught - not the act itself.

One also needs a society to be able to be a success or a failure. You need to be surrounded by a societal context...a point of reference of sorts, something for scale.

[Xmara]

This sounds terrible.

Add being stuck in a terrible marriage (honestly one of my greatest fears), throw in some heavy and very damaging substance abuse and it just about completes it. I'd say the three things would work together to create ultimate misery.

Its nearly impossible to get stuck in a bad marriage. You can always divorce or walk away from such a relationship usually, unless you're too afraid or unwilling to take the loss that you could get as a result or if you're economically dependent on the other person and you know you'll immediately be screwed without them.

When I took victimology as an undergrad, we actually discussed this topic in class. It's a lot harder for abuse victims to leave their abusers than what most people realize. It's not just economic dependency or "weak will." The abuser degrades the victim's self esteem so much that the victim starts to believe that they really don't have a choice but to stay with their abuser. They think that the abuser is the only one who will ever love them, or that they will never be able to survive on their own, or that they are worthless without the abuser. And without proper intervention, it can be a difficult cycle to break.

[Elite leomonade]

" What exactly does "failing at life" mean, exactly?"

For me, it is the feeling of being a burden on the people around you and not wanting to talk about how things really are. I always *and still* felt/feel
like I am a puzzle piece that fits in the puzzle but doesn't contribute to the puzzle image, But that's just my version of it.

[Kanadorika]

You only fail at life if you feel like you have failed. No matter what your circumstance is, so long as you are satisfied or at the very least seeking improvement, you have not failed.