Dealing with Odd Pests

[Buffett and Colbert]

Animals and insects, mind you! Well, do you have somewhat of a pest problem and if you do, how do you deal with it? In our neighborhood, we have an iguana problem. I chase them into corners and promptly hack off their heads with a machete. And hey, I'm not cruel, they eat our flowers! Besides, quickly chopping their heads off is better than not doing anything and letting my dog get at them. Well, are there any odd pest encounters, plus tips and tricks that the NS community would like to share?

[Baycosa]

I would call an exterminator or buy some insect poison.

Beware, insect poison is also people poison
I learned this the hard way.

[Buffett and Colbert]

I would call an exterminator or buy some insect poison.

Beware, insect poison is also people poison
I learned this the hard way.

But it smells so good....

[Reploid Productions]

Well, we've had a massive increase in the number of blackbirds in the area this year. Normally we don't mind them, they aren't a problem. This year, however, there must be a ton nesting somewhere on my street, and they've started attacking my dog when she's out in the backyard. She's an old dog, 14 years old and pretty hard of hearing; it's not like she can hear them coming and do anything to evade. They've even gotten ballsy enough to try and attack my mom and other humans in the backyard. Clearly, this is a problem.

Of course, dealing with the problem isn't easy. We don't necessarily want to kill these birds, and there's little practical way to do so anyway. (Firearms are not a viable solution, period. So no whipping out a pistol and opening fire!) In a discussion on how to perhaps drive the birds out of our yard, the suggestion jokingly came up that "Well, there's Steph's big Super Soaker in the garage..."

Shortly followed by, "... That's actually not a bad idea."

And then followed by my mother and I standing out in the backyard, me with the aforementioned water cannon, Mom with the hose with the jet nozzle with the water-conservation cut-off, setting up an anti-air crossfire. The idea being that the water doesn't hurt them, but it annoys the crap out of them and chases them away. They land on the backyard fence, one of us sprays them. They fly up into the big pine tree in the yard to get away from it, one of us sprays them up there, too. They fly up onto the chimney or the roof; they get sprayed there. So far it's working pretty well, they've already reduced how often they're in the yard; and it's surprisingly a great deal of fun. It's like real-life Duck Hunt, only without ducks or that annoying dog that laughs when you miss

[Baycosa]

I would call an exterminator or buy some insect poison.

Beware, insect poison is also people poison
I learned this the hard way.

But it smells so good....

I did not think of that, I learned that it was people poison when... let's just say some mothers in my neighbourhood did not approve when I dumped some leftover insect poison at the playground.

[Ravea]

Flamethrower and a chainsaw should do it.

Better yet, a flamethrower that shoots chainsaws. Or a flaming Chainsaw would work too.

[Buffett and Colbert]

Well, we've had a massive increase in the number of blackbirds in the area this year. Normally we don't mind them, they aren't a problem. This year, however, there must be a ton nesting somewhere on my street, and they've started attacking my dog when she's out in the backyard. She's an old dog, 14 years old and pretty hard of hearing; it's not like she can hear them coming and do anything to evade. They've even gotten ballsy enough to try and attack my mom and other humans in the backyard. Clearly, this is a problem.

Of course, dealing with the problem isn't easy. We don't necessarily want to kill these birds, and there's little practical way to do so anyway. (Firearms are not a viable solution, period. So no whipping out a pistol and opening fire!) In a discussion on how to perhaps drive the birds out of our yard, the suggestion jokingly came up that "Well, there's Steph's big Super Soaker in the garage..."

Shortly followed by, "... That's actually not a bad idea."

And then followed by my mother and I standing out in the backyard, me with the aforementioned water cannon, Mom with the hose with the jet nozzle with the water-conservation cut-off, setting up an anti-air crossfire. The idea being that the water doesn't hurt them, but it annoys the crap out of them and chases them away. They land on the backyard fence, one of us sprays them. They fly up into the big pine tree in the yard to get away from it, one of us sprays them up there, too. They fly up onto the chimney or the roof; they get sprayed there. So far it's working pretty well, they've already reduced how often they're in the yard; and it's surprisingly a great deal of fun. It's like real-life Duck Hunt, only without ducks or that annoying dog that laughs when you miss

[Fnordgasm 5]

If only you had some kind orbital nuclear weapons platform..

[Khadgar]

Well, we've had a massive increase in the number of blackbirds in the area this year. Normally we don't mind them, they aren't a problem. This year, however, there must be a ton nesting somewhere on my street, and they've started attacking my dog when she's out in the backyard. She's an old dog, 14 years old and pretty hard of hearing; it's not like she can hear them coming and do anything to evade. They've even gotten ballsy enough to try and attack my mom and other humans in the backyard. Clearly, this is a problem.

Of course, dealing with the problem isn't easy. We don't necessarily want to kill these birds, and there's little practical way to do so anyway. (Firearms are not a viable solution, period. So no whipping out a pistol and opening fire!) In a discussion on how to perhaps drive the birds out of our yard, the suggestion jokingly came up that "Well, there's Steph's big Super Soaker in the garage..."

Shortly followed by, "... That's actually not a bad idea."

And then followed by my mother and I standing out in the backyard, me with the aforementioned water cannon, Mom with the hose with the jet nozzle with the water-conservation cut-off, setting up an anti-air crossfire. The idea being that the water doesn't hurt them, but it annoys the crap out of them and chases them away. They land on the backyard fence, one of us sprays them. They fly up into the big pine tree in the yard to get away from it, one of us sprays them up there, too. They fly up onto the chimney or the roof; they get sprayed there. So far it's working pretty well, they've already reduced how often they're in the yard; and it's surprisingly a great deal of fun. It's like real-life Duck Hunt, only without ducks or that annoying dog that laughs when you miss :D

Get a cat, or two. Takes care of those obnoxious song birds too.

[Almajoya]

I used to live in a dorm that ad a serious roach problem. They would come in through a crack in the window, slide down noisily behind the blinds, and crawl all over my stuff. It was finally fixed AFTER I moved out.

[Belschaft]

Well some people consider me to be 'odd' and a 'pest'.

[Fnordgasm 5]

Well some people consider me to be 'odd' and a 'pest'.

This is true.

[JuNii]

Animals and insects, mind you! Well, do you have somewhat of a pest problem and if you do, how do you deal with it? In our neighborhood, we have an iguana problem. I chase them into corners and promptly hack off their heads with a machete. And hey, I'm not cruel, they eat our flowers! Besides, quickly chopping their heads off is better than not doing anything and letting my dog get at them. Well, are there any odd pest encounters, plus tips and tricks that the NS community would like to share?

mix up some Iquana repellant.

[Luporum]

My dad brought home a stray cat two months ago...

I hate this thing so much. She has actually tried taking the food from my mouth, and after being tossed aside, she sprints back to try again. She howls at the window incessantly, and when I let her out she howls to come back in two minutes later. Despite having used the litterbox and cleaning it with great diligence, she insists on using MY BED. I love animals, but just looking at this rodent recently stirs in me a deep hatred that borders on the demented. My German Sheppard pays her no mind even after the cat clawed her face trying to steal her food. As awful as it is, deep down I wished my dog would have ripped her to shreds.

I asked my dad to take the thing to the SPCA where it belongs, but he's worried they'll put her down because she was hit by a car when he found her and looks raggled.

[Pope Joan]

The guillotine is acknowledged as a most humane if unaesthetic means of extermination.

[Reploid Productions]

Get a cat, or two. Takes care of those obnoxious song birds too.

Which would work great if everyone in the house wasn't damn near deathly allergic to cats =p And having an outdoor cat around here is just cruel. Outdoor cats here = coyote chow.

[Big Jim P]

The guillotine is acknowledged as a most humane if unaesthetic means of extermination.

While using explosives is almost exactly the opposite.

[Conserative Morality]

My house has a major bug problem. Solution? 40-45 degrees Fahrenheit. In the Summer. God, I love air conditioners. *in a blanket at the moment*

[Lunatic Goofballs]

Get a cat, or two. Takes care of those obnoxious song birds too.

Which would work great if everyone in the house wasn't damn near deathly allergic to cats =p And having an outdoor cat around here is just cruel. Outdoor cats here = coyote chow.

How about falcons? Nothing controls a bird population like falcons do. The best way to encourage falcons to nest in your area is to provide them with the perches they like; high structures with small platforms on the top. The local power company in the area encouraged falcons and osprey to nest by building platforms on top of powerline towers that were far enough from the lines for safety. If you can convince your town that it's in their best interest to invest a few hundred dollars and can find a bird of prey lover willing to donate his or her time, you can probably put up some perches in your area pretty quickly.

[The Plutonian Empire]

Get a cat, or two. Takes care of those obnoxious song birds too.

Which would work great if everyone in the house wasn't damn near deathly allergic to cats =p And having an outdoor cat around here is just cruel. Outdoor cats here = coyote chow.

In Elk River, MN, where I live, they have foxes.

[Tanaara]

the old notion that cats will drive away birds is just that an old- and untrue - notion.

Most cats have never been taught the specialized skills it takes to hunt birds. And it is a learned hunting style, passed down from the mother or a clowder/ colony's mentor cats. In 30 plus years of working with ferals, rescues and my own cats, I've only seen one that had the skills - and the big duffus continually brought my life, generally even unharmed sparrows and such with the proudest looks on his face.

Blue Jays, and Corvines ( ravens, crows and such ) are very hard on cats, and even up and including large dogs and people.

Reppys water trick is a good one - so are falcons and hawks - we've got some in our area and you can tell when they are out - the wild rabbits aren, and the jays and mocking birds are sitting quiet, in the deepest part of the trees.

Armadillos - for the first time in years they are digging under the foundation - but it's been over a hundred here every day for close to a week. Even the big boar coon hasn't been out and about much - usually every night he's sitting under my window talking trash to my two cats. ( the last of my feline family at 19 and 17 years )

[Greed and Death]

Well, we've had a massive increase in the number of blackbirds in the area this year. Normally we don't mind them, they aren't a problem. This year, however, there must be a ton nesting somewhere on my street, and they've started attacking my dog when she's out in the backyard. She's an old dog, 14 years old and pretty hard of hearing; it's not like she can hear them coming and do anything to evade. They've even gotten ballsy enough to try and attack my mom and other humans in the backyard. Clearly, this is a problem.

Of course, dealing with the problem isn't easy. We don't necessarily want to kill these birds, and there's little practical way to do so anyway. D

You can actually kill small birds with a pellet gun legal to own in most countries and legal to fire within most city limits.

but your not wanting to kill them.
When I was stationed at Fort Detrick earth Terminal we had a bird problem. Namely so many birds would roost on the antenna(50 foot satellite antenna) that the bird poop would become a health hazard. Originally (before I was there) they would take pellet guns and pop the birds, only one pump so not enough to kill 9 out of 10 times, and more importantly not put holes in the Antenna, and it would get them to leave. Well the City of Frederick's Mayor didn't like this and whined about it. So we got humane traps which didn't work very well.
Finally one guy took a bird out of a trap and slightly electrocuted it and recorded the sounds it made. then every evening we would play the sounds near the Antenna and the birds would go roost somewhere else like magic.

[Pope Joan]

Well, we've had a massive increase in the number of blackbirds in the area this year. Normally we don't mind them, they aren't a problem. This year, however, there must be a ton nesting somewhere on my street, and they've started attacking my dog when she's out in the backyard. She's an old dog, 14 years old and pretty hard of hearing; it's not like she can hear them coming and do anything to evade. They've even gotten ballsy enough to try and attack my mom and other humans in the backyard. Clearly, this is a problem.

Of course, dealing with the problem isn't easy. We don't necessarily want to kill these birds, and there's little practical way to do so anyway. D

You can actually kill small birds with a pellet gun legal to own in most countries and legal to fire within most city limits.

but your not wanting to kill them.
When I was stationed at Fort Detrick earth Terminal we had a bird problem. Namely so many birds would roost on the antenna(50 foot satellite antenna) that the bird poop would become a health hazard. Originally (before I was there) they would take pellet guns and pop the birds, only one pump so not enough to kill 9 out of 10 times, and more importantly not put holes in the Antenna, and it would get them to leave. Well the City of Frederick's Mayor didn't like this and whined about it. So we got humane traps which didn't work very well.
Finally one guy took a bird out of a trap and slightly electrocuted it and recorded the sounds it made. then every evening we would play the sounds near the Antenna and the birds would go roost somewhere else like magic.

don't tase me, bro!

[Daistallia 2104]

You can actually kill small birds with a pellet gun legal to own in most countries and legal to fire within most city limits.

but your not wanting to kill them.
When I was stationed at Fort Detrick earth Terminal we had a bird problem. Namely so many birds would roost on the antenna(50 foot satellite antenna) that the bird poop would become a health hazard. Originally (before I was there) they would take pellet guns and pop the birds, only one pump so not enough to kill 9 out of 10 times, and more importantly not put holes in the Antenna, and it would get them to leave. Well the City of Frederick's Mayor didn't like this and whined about it. So we got humane traps which didn't work very well.
Finally one guy took a bird out of a trap and slightly electrocuted it and recorded the sounds it made. then every evening we would play the sounds near the Antenna and the birds would go roost somewhere else like magic.

The Modern Man's Guide to Life had a similar one for rats and mice.

Capture a rat/mouse and put it in a barrel. Suspend a mic in the barrel and record as you beat it to death w/ a stick. Play the recording around the house.

That book had some other "interesting" ones for dealing w/ rodent pests. The funniest was to capture one, paint it w/ phosphorescent paint, and release it, supposedly scaring off all the others. My fave was to cremate a couple and spread the remains in areas they frequent.

[Greed and Death]

Well, we've had a massive increase in the number of blackbirds in the area this year. Normally we don't mind them, they aren't a problem. This year, however, there must be a ton nesting somewhere on my street, and they've started attacking my dog when she's out in the backyard. She's an old dog, 14 years old and pretty hard of hearing; it's not like she can hear them coming and do anything to evade. They've even gotten ballsy enough to try and attack my mom and other humans in the backyard. Clearly, this is a problem.

Of course, dealing with the problem isn't easy. We don't necessarily want to kill these birds, and there's little practical way to do so anyway. D

You can actually kill small birds with a pellet gun legal to own in most countries and legal to fire within most city limits.

but your not wanting to kill them.
When I was stationed at Fort Detrick earth Terminal we had a bird problem. Namely so many birds would roost on the antenna(50 foot satellite antenna) that the bird poop would become a health hazard. Originally (before I was there) they would take pellet guns and pop the birds, only one pump so not enough to kill 9 out of 10 times, and more importantly not put holes in the Antenna, and it would get them to leave. Well the City of Frederick's Mayor didn't like this and whined about it. So we got humane traps which didn't work very well.
Finally one guy took a bird out of a trap and slightly electrocuted it and recorded the sounds it made. then every evening we would play the sounds near the Antenna and the birds would go roost somewhere else like magic.

don't tase me, bro!

was that what the bird was saying???