On the Matter of Crocodiles

[Punished UMN]

What’s the most viable strategy to eliminate hundreds of dangerous crocodiles in combat with minimal casualties (but still showcase martial strength and firepower)? Assuming tech is circa 1940s.

What would a timeline look like?

Why would you need to eliminate hundreds of dangerous crocodiles in combat? It occurs to me that there are much easier and less destructive means of killing dangerous crocodile populations. The amount of risk and firepower you would need to reliably kill hundreds of crocodiles with military firepower makes it a not very reliable means to do so. The reason for this is that crocodiles live in environments as aquatic ambush predators, so, short of just bombing out the swamps, lakes, and brackish zones (which is costly and environmentally destructive, kind of rendering it pointless to do so -- you'd lose more with the bombings than you'd gain from removing the crocs), your best way to kill them would be to get them to expose themselves and then put high-powered rifle rounds through their skulls, which probably isn't terrible efficient. You'd probably be better off using baits, traps, and poisons as these can be applied selectively with minimal cost.

Plus, and you seem to not quire grasp this, but slaughtering a few hundred crocodiles as a reprisal is a little beneath the military, don't you think?

[The Huskar Social Union]

They are fucking crocodiles. Launching a mass extermination campaign against them because soldiers were killed retreating through a place full of crocodiles is dumb. See unless they are a danger to their ecosystem you should just leave them alone.

[Ifreann]

Shoot the emperor, and if anyone asks how he died say it was a magic crocodile.

---

How did the alarm clock, that the crocodile in Disney's Peter Pan swallowed, get wound so it kept ticking?

Hook's hand kept winding it.

[Infected Mushroom]

They are fucking crocodiles. Launching a mass extermination campaign against them because soldiers were killed retreating through a place full of crocodiles is dumb. See unless they are a danger to their ecosystem you should just leave them alone.

It depends on how you understand the honor of the fallen soldiers and which categories of the natural world you include/exclude in your conception of justice

And this is why it’s such an interesting thread, with so many different views

[The Free Joy State]

They are fucking crocodiles. Launching a mass extermination campaign against them because soldiers were killed retreating through a place full of crocodiles is dumb. See unless they are a danger to their ecosystem you should just leave them alone.

It depends on how you understand the honor of the fallen soldiers and which categories of the natural world you include/exclude in your conception of justice

And this is why it’s such an interesting thread, with so many different views

Only one of which is represented in the poll.

What’s the most viable strategy to eliminate hundreds of dangerous crocodiles in combat with minimal casualties (but still showcase martial strength and firepower)? Assuming tech is circa 1940s.

What would a timeline look like?

Why would you need to eliminate hundreds of dangerous crocodiles in combat? It occurs to me that there are much easier and less destructive means of killing dangerous crocodile populations. The amount of risk and firepower you would need to reliably kill hundreds of crocodiles with military firepower makes it a not very reliable means to do so. The reason for this is that crocodiles live in environments as aquatic ambush predators, so, short of just bombing out the swamps, lakes, and brackish zones (which is costly and environmentally destructive, kind of rendering it pointless to do so -- you'd lose more with the bombings than you'd gain from removing the crocs), your best way to kill them would be to get them to expose themselves and then put high-powered rifle rounds through their skulls, which probably isn't terrible efficient. You'd probably be better off using baits, traps, and poisons as these can be applied selectively with minimal cost.

Plus, and you seem to not quire grasp this, but slaughtering a few hundred crocodiles as a reprisal is a little beneath the military, don't you think?

It depends which military.

The Empire is a dictatorship in the 1940s, which makes them the equivalent of an RL entity that did so many repugnant things that I doubt they'd have stopped at killing an animal.

[The Huskar Social Union]

They are fucking crocodiles. Launching a mass extermination campaign against them because soldiers were killed retreating through a place full of crocodiles is dumb. See unless they are a danger to their ecosystem you should just leave them alone.

It depends on how you understand the honor of the fallen soldiers and which categories of the natural world you include/exclude in your conception of justice

And this is why it’s such an interesting thread, with so many different views

You are unbelievably obsessed with Honour.

[Punished UMN]

As to the hypothetical. I would tell the Emperor that he should not make such a tasteless joke about a tragic incident of the war in which our troops were killed in such a bizarre manner, in the hopes that that would make him drop it. If he really insisted, I would tell him frankly that the matter of conducting pointless reprisals against large, predatory aquatic reptiles without the ability to think is beneath the dignity of the military, and that if he has public safety concerns, I'm certain there are professional hunters who would like to mount some of these mutant crocs on their walls.

[Roegerland]

Option 3, because gun ownership for private citizens.

[Punished UMN]

UMN's focus on cost makes me aware that all my plans are too expensive.

I don't think there IS a way to slaughter wildlife while also displaying military grandeur. Furthermore, wasting all that meat when it's probably in short supply (IM's empire obviously being a shithole of imperial proportions) would probably precipitate a revolution. One of the really dumb revolutions mainly motivated by an urge to strangle the Emperor with his own intestines, rape and kill his whole family, and burn down the palace.

Any further suggestions will focus on how to lose the most soldiers and equipment, at enormous expense and military humiliation, while harming as few crocs as possible. Oh, and trick the Emperor into thinking it was his idea not mine.

There's also that using military firepower to slaughter big dumb reptiles on a massive scale will probably have the opposite effect of "military grandeur" and just make other countries and the press laugh at the Emperor and military's insecurity.

[Ifreann]

Sometimes I think IM just hates animals.

[The Free Joy State]

It depends on how you understand the honor of the fallen soldiers and which categories of the natural world you include/exclude in your conception of justice

And this is why it’s such an interesting thread, with so many different views

You are unbelievably obsessed with Honour.

Exterminating an animal is not what I have usually heard associated with "honour".

[An Alan Smithee Nation]

If it's a matter of preserving honour, kill all the survivors and pretend it never happened.

[Infected Mushroom]

If it's a matter of preserving honour, kill all the survivors and pretend it never happened.

But they served the Empire loyally. And loyalty is something we want to promote right?

[The Black Remnant]

So, let me get this straight:

This was a battle for a remote outpost, that had no real bearing on the war, that got hundreds of soldiers killed by, and I quote, "mutant crocodiles"?

Were I in this position, I would politely suggest to the Emperor that, maybe, the issue wasn't the non-sapient dangerous fauna, but a dire logistical weakness in our forces in the area, therefore warranting a slight adaptation of the military's doctrine for when future battles must be fought in such an environment that is filled with, and I quote, "mutant crocodiles".

Furthermore, the next step would be to reassure people that "mutant crocodiles" don't exist, because that much speed and strength in the body of a lizard that hasn't evolved much in literal millions of years is completely infeasible and likely hogwash perpetuated by the traumatized survivors, who will likely have chronic thalassophobia and associated fears of water and lizards for the rest of their lives.

[North Sonovia]

When Emperor Calixus hears about this, he says:

"Killer mutant crocodiles? Let's get them on our team."

As such, the Emperor's Own Mutant Crocodile Guard Regiment is formed.

Teenage Mutant Croco-diles

[Ifreann]

If it's a matter of preserving honour, kill all the survivors and pretend it never happened.

But they served the Empire loyally. And loyalty is something we want to promote right?

They abandoned their posts.

[The Holy Therns]

What’s the most viable strategy to eliminate hundreds of dangerous crocodiles in combat with minimal casualties (but still showcase martial strength and firepower)? Assuming tech is circa 1940s.

What would a timeline look like?

"...Asking for a friend."

[Infected Mushroom]

But they served the Empire loyally. And loyalty is something we want to promote right?

They abandoned their posts.

They were carrying out a strategic retreat, while engaged in desperate combat.

[Ifreann]

They abandoned their posts.

They were carrying out a strategic retreat, while engaged in desperate combat.

You want to promote retreat into the open mouths of the local wildlife?

[Infected Mushroom]

They were carrying out a strategic retreat, while engaged in desperate combat.

You want to promote retreat into the open mouths of the local wildlife?

The commander didn’t account for the massive risk factor of the crocodiles due to faulty maps and limited intel. The swamps retreat route was chosen to bypass aerial surveillance from the advancing enemy.

[The Holy Therns]

You want to promote retreat into the open mouths of the local wildlife?

The commander didn’t account for the massive risk factor of the crocodiles due to faulty maps and limited intel. The swamps retreat route was chosen to bypass aerial surveillance from the advancing enemy.

A commander fails to win a battle, then gets almost his entire remaining force killed because he acted on faulty information.

This doesn't sound like something to reward.

[Infected Mushroom]

The commander didn’t account for the massive risk factor of the crocodiles due to faulty maps and limited intel. The swamps retreat route was chosen to bypass aerial surveillance from the advancing enemy.

A commander fails to win a battle, then gets almost his entire remaining force killed because he acted on faulty information.

This doesn't sound like something to reward.

He died in direct combat, trying to save the unit from the crocs.

[The Black Remnant]

You want to promote retreat into the open mouths of the local wildlife?

The commander didn’t account for the massive risk factor of the crocodiles due to faulty maps and limited intel. The swamps retreat route was chosen to bypass aerial surveillance from the advancing enemy.

Crocodiles are starting to sound more and more like overexaggerations of the real thing by survivors.

[Ifreann]

You want to promote retreat into the open mouths of the local wildlife?

The commander didn’t account for the massive risk factor of the crocodiles due to faulty maps and limited intel. The swamps retreat route was chosen to bypass aerial surveillance from the advancing enemy.

The commander wasn't familiar with the area they were commanding? That's some pretty stupid complacency.

[Infected Mushroom]

The commander didn’t account for the massive risk factor of the crocodiles due to faulty maps and limited intel. The swamps retreat route was chosen to bypass aerial surveillance from the advancing enemy.

The commander wasn't familiar with the area they were commanding? That's some pretty stupid complacency.

Mistakes can be made.