Researcher: Falling sperm counts threaten human survival

[Cannot think of a name]

Stop smoking and drugs that harm your sperm counts

But it's getting results.

[A-Series-Of-Tubes]

This is great news. People too stupid to use contraception properly, will reproduce less. If that's basically everyone, then so it goes. It's been nice knowing ya, homo sap!

[The 189]

According to a researcher with the Icahn School of Medicine at New York's Mt. Sinai Hospital, median human sperm counts are projected to fall to zero -- zip -- nada -- by 2045. She points the finger at pthalates and poor health caused by obesity, inter alia.

She needs to work on her prediction skills. That's some dumb shit.

[A-Series-Of-Tubes]

According to a researcher with the Icahn School of Medicine at New York's Mt. Sinai Hospital, median human sperm counts are projected to fall to zero -- zip -- nada -- by 2045. She points the finger at pthalates and poor health caused by obesity, inter alia.

She needs to work on her prediction skills. That's some dumb shit.

A lot of countries that don't let food manufacturers "test" chemicals on the public will be happy though. The nanny state delivers!

I'm not entirely malicious though. How about free gym membership for anyone who's overweight or obese? Or a physically taxing sport if they prefer. Personally I find gyms bo-o-o-ring.

[Alcala-Cordel]

I'm not too worried about it tbh. It might not be such a bad thing if it was harder to reproduce, as human survival's hardly a threat. We also might be able to fertilize eggs with bone marrow, but scientists aren't 100% sure.

[Mercatus]

She needs to work on her prediction skills. That's some dumb shit.

A lot of countries that don't let food manufacturers "test" chemicals on the public will be happy though. The nanny state delivers!

I'm not entirely malicious though. How about free gym membership for anyone who's overweight or obese? Or a physically taxing sport if they prefer. Personally I find gyms bo-o-o-ring.

Treadmills are pretty fun if you ask me.

I don't think giving people free stuff is gonna necessarily make them participate in it. Maybe we should just focus on educating children how not to be fat and feed them school lunches that aren't made of rubber and God-knows-what-else. A few pieces of juicy, authentic fried chicken will be much healthier and provide much more energy than the gray mystery meat that is commonplace in school-provided meals (which also contain toxic ingredients). Combine that with a nice side of real mashed potatoes or collard greens and these kids will be eating good AND maintaining the population.

Basically, stop feeding students shit.

[Rusozak]

Well that gives me an idea.

A modern day Ark only it's a sperm bank.

[The Reformed American Republic]

I don't think this will lead to human extinction. Plus, we do have a huge population and this may be nature's way of keeping the population in check.

[A-Series-Of-Tubes]

A lot of countries that don't let food manufacturers "test" chemicals on the public will be happy though. The nanny state delivers!

I'm not entirely malicious though. How about free gym membership for anyone who's overweight or obese? Or a physically taxing sport if they prefer. Personally I find gyms bo-o-o-ring.

Treadmills are pretty fun if you ask me.

I don't think giving people free stuff is gonna necessarily make them participate in it.

I never said it would. Do you have any reason NOT to remove what might be a barrier to some people working out?

Maybe we should just focus on educating children how not to be fat and feed them school lunches that aren't made of rubber and God-knows-what-else.

Tried that. Unfortunately state and local governments behaved like children themselves. "You're not my nanny, you can't tell me what to do!"

We should keep trying of course. Maybe get experts to rework the "food pyramid" which is easy to grasp, so it has accurate detail and is more, I dunno, interesting?

A few pieces of juicy, authentic fried chicken will be much healthier and provide much more energy

Wow that is wrong. Fried chicken is very dense in calories. If you eat a lot of that, you should stop.

than the gray mystery meat that is commonplace in school-provided meals (which also contain toxic ingredients).

Yes! Phthalate as mentioned, I think come from the plastic lining of cans. Maybe other plastic packaging too.

BTW, plastic lining of cans is why nobody has to pay much attention to surface rust or dents in cans. It has surely saved hundreds of lives, as well as eliminating that metallic "canned" taste. We just have to be really careful what the plastic is, bearing in mind that cans get heated to boiling temperature or above, to sterilize the contents after the can is sealed up.

Combine that with a nice side of real mashed potatoes or collard greens and these kids will be eating good AND maintaining the population.

Basically, stop feeding students shit.

Totally. There were already moves in that direction when I was in school ... in the 1970's. Kids who are allowed to eat sweets and salty snacks at home, tend to bring the same in to school with them, or if that is forbidden they don't eat at all. Seriously: there's nothing "instinctive" about 3 square meals a day, and if you skip lunch a few times you won't get hungry at lunchtime.

I used to toss lovingly-made sandwiches over the school fence into the bowling club. It's not like those half-blind tottering gerries would ever notice, right? Uh-uh. My mom wasn't even angry, worse than that she cried. "Why didn't you just tell me you don't like salad, I would make honey sandwiches or whatever you want, it would still be better than that junk from the canteen!"

Well you can't stop kids sharing food, but with a cashless credit system parents could defund particular foods that their kid wants to buy from the canteen. I feel that's more practical than not having the junk at all.

[Major-Tom]

In the news today, otherwise well-credentialed researchers are still capable of posting results that amount to peer-reviewed clickbait with no real substance.

[A-Series-Of-Tubes]

In the news today, otherwise well-credentialed researchers are still capable of posting results that amount to peer-reviewed clickbait with no real substance.

Maybe it's about method rather than observations. Posing as the largest ever longitudinal study of sperm samples, they're preparing to make the closest estimate of something that has puzzled man and woman-kind for centuries.

It's not just me, is it, who's certain I'm being watched in that windowless white room at the hospital? One time I'm absolutely certain I saw a nurse click a stopwatch and write something down.

[Washington Resistance Army]

In the news today, otherwise well-credentialed researchers are still capable of posting results that amount to peer-reviewed clickbait with no real substance.

Pretty much this. In no way is humanities survival threatened by this. It more or less just means western men are lazy shits who expose themselves to unhealthy things and the problem could probably be fixed if that changed.

[Kowani]

In the news today, otherwise well-credentialed researchers are still capable of posting results that amount to peer-reviewed clickbait with no real substance.

Pretty much this. In no way is humanities survival threatened by this. It more or less just means western men are lazy shits who expose themselves to unhealthy things and the problem could probably be fixed if that changed.

I mean
It’s not just laziness
There’s reasons obesity and poverty correlate

[Washington Resistance Army]

Pretty much this. In no way is humanities survival threatened by this. It more or less just means western men are lazy shits who expose themselves to unhealthy things and the problem could probably be fixed if that changed.

I mean
It’s not just laziness
There’s reasons obesity and poverty correlate

For sure, but how many people honestly try to care for their bodies nowadays? I dunno of any statistics on the matter, but it certainly seems to be a very small minority.

[Auzkhia]

I don't really care if my own fertility declines because the last things I want are sex and kids from that sex (unless lower fertility has an adverse effect on my health), but a falling rate worldwide would have mixed effects in a societal sense.

And since this is primarily affecting Western men, we can expect some people to be highly concerned.

Honestly, same: I do not intend on passing my crappy genes so I don't really give a fuck about falling sperm counts.

I don't have any interest either. I'm a proud barren genetic dead end.

I have no sperm and I do not have a womb. lol

I'm sure the world and humanity will go on and adapt.

[Kowani]

I mean
It’s not just laziness
There’s reasons obesity and poverty correlate

For sure, but how many people honestly try to care for their bodies nowadays? I dunno of any statistics on the matter, but it certainly seems to be a very small minority.

Not nearly enough.
It varies by state and employment status (DC wins with 40.9%), but uh…22.9%, nationwide.

[Odreria]

NOOOOOOO THIS IS BODY SHAMING just because I have attacked my body to the point that I can no longer reproduce does not mean that I need to change my lifestyle in any way

[The Alma Mater]

Technically one does not need sperm to make a baby... so...

[Washington Resistance Army]

For sure, but how many people honestly try to care for their bodies nowadays? I dunno of any statistics on the matter, but it certainly seems to be a very small minority.

Not nearly enough.
It varies by state and employment status (DC wins with 40.9%), but uh…22.9%, nationwide.

Fuck me that's depressing.

[Resilient Acceleration]

Huh, so a selective global depopulation needs neither mass genocide nor worldwide reproduction control? We just need to keep the status quo? Reality is sometimes stranger than fiction.

[Kowani]

Not nearly enough.
It varies by state and employment status (DC wins with 40.9%), but uh…22.9%, nationwide.

Fuck me that's depressing.

It’s uh
It’s not great, no

[Page]

Even if the global population starts to shrink someday, which definitely doesn't look like it will happen any time in the near future, it doesn't have to be devastating for humanity. Maintaining a birth rate above replacement level is only necessary under a capitalist system because capitalism requires endless growth.

Everyone brings up concerns about a population with too many elderly, retired people and not enough young people to work, and we hear the questions, how will we support the elderly, and who will do all the jobs? But these questions assume the current capitalist system is inevitable when it's not.

There are more than enough people to do essential labor even in a population with a low birth rate. Millions of people work jobs that don't contribute anything material to society, those jobs can go and there will still be plenty of folks to do things that actually matter, and caring for the elderly wouldn't be anywhere near as expensive if done without a profit motive.

[A-Series-Of-Tubes]

Not nearly enough.
It varies by state and employment status (DC wins with 40.9%), but uh…22.9%, nationwide.

Fuck me that's depressing.

Beyond some age there's not much species utility to living longer. 65 or so, according to custom, but you could also argue that, for women it's the age of menopause, which is not much over 40.

Obese people aren't taking that much risk with their current life. They're taking a big risk with their old age, so I guess that's the thing they don't care much about.

Obese people should really be jealous of Samoans (and some other Pacific Islanders) for whom 'overweight' is the perfect healthy weight, and obesity is no big deal. You want your kids to have a head start on happiness in a post-scarcity society? Get with a Samoan!

[A-Series-Of-Tubes]

Even if the global population starts to shrink someday, which definitely doesn't look like it will happen any time in the near future, it doesn't have to be devastating for humanity. Maintaining a birth rate above replacement level is only necessary under a capitalist system because capitalism requires endless growth.

Everyone brings up concerns about a population with too many elderly, retired people and not enough young people to work, and we hear the questions, how will we support the elderly, and who will do all the jobs? But these questions assume the current capitalist system is inevitable when it's not.

In principle this is sound, but I think elderly people will come and go for a while before there's a generation of them who are comfortable with most of their Carers being Robots.

There are more than enough people to do essential labor even in a population with a low birth rate. Millions of people work jobs that don't contribute anything material to society, those jobs can go and there will still be plenty of folks to do things that actually matter, and caring for the elderly wouldn't be anywhere near as expensive if done without a profit motive.

So you'd ban the sale of supported accommodation to cashed-up seniors? You'd better wear a construction helmet and some armour because they won't just throw shoes. Expect walking-frames and prosthetic legs!

The elderly have one of the lowest rates of poverty, and THE highest net assets of any age demographic. At least until now, they're winners of the capitalism game. Largely due to legitimate speculation in residential real estate. I would oppose taking assets off those people, they're capitalists by accident, instead we should motivate them to liquidate their assets and spend as much as possible of their own money, on themselves. Inheritance is a greater injustice than some people being innocently 'rich' and living the life.

[Chan Island]

(Image)

Glad somebody beat me to this. If you seriously believe this drop will just continue to fall to complete zero in 20 years time, then you're a fool, simple as. Even the most obese of men have sperm, and always will.