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Compassion... Empathy... The Capacity for Both.

For discussion and debate about anything. (Not a roleplay related forum; out-of-character commentary only.)

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Northwest Slobovia
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Postby Northwest Slobovia » Sun Nov 22, 2020 12:42 pm

Sundiata wrote:Have you acted intentionally kind towards anyone lately? If so, in what way?

Oh, sure. I've been supportive of friends who are overwhelmed with work, politics, and/or the plague. We also sent our usual generous donation to the local food bank, if that counts.

Sundiata wrote:Is human nature oriented towards kindness and compassion?

As Batman said:
Neutraligon wrote:Empathy is a necessity for any group to function, so yes as a social species we tend to be empathic. Compassion is an extension of this empathy.

A surprising statement from the Dark Knight, but I agree with it.

Sundiata wrote:Do you ever get tired of acting compassionately? I think the term is "compassion fatigue."

Oh, sure.
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Xmara
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Postby Xmara » Sun Nov 22, 2020 3:59 pm

Saiwania wrote:
The Archregimancy wrote:Reinhard Heydrich was also so unpopular with the people he was supposed to be governing that he ended up being assassinated before the age of 40; so I'm not sure I would recommend setting out to follow that particular potential role model.


Heydrich's rule wasn't actually as harsh as it could've been. He was actually successful to a large extent in reducing unrest via a carrot and stick approach. He mercilessly went after his enemies but also threw the Czechs a bone so as to win over some loyalty. Rations and wages were increased in his jurisdiction of the Reich. He was fully competent and successful in his role within Hitler's circle. His assassination may've been done by Czechs but it was primarily the fault of the British from what I can tell.

I really do mean it. Growing up, I was verbally mistreated by a sibling too much and I have a ton of hatred in my heart. I'm bad towards them in return and I relish when they suffer any setback which has come to pass before. I never could get myself to care or know other people's emotions and when I see suffering I more often than not don't care. After all, I've never been in touch with my own emotions either. I'm perhaps just incapable of doing so.

In any case, I embrace my capacity for cruelty. I don't see it as a disorder that I can fix or that'd otherwise impose difficulties for me. If for example, it makes my romantic prospects non-existent; it doesn't upset me. Instead, I'll simply learn to be content in celibacy and use money for what I'm missing if I think I'm missing anything. Other people are more draining than rewarding for me.

Cruelty isn't something you should be proud of. If anything, it's alarming.
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Major-Tom
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Postby Major-Tom » Sun Nov 22, 2020 4:16 pm

I find myself being far more empathetic and compassionate than I used to be, and I feel that most people have the innate capacity for both, though some may choose to ignore those primal instincts in favor of personal gain. Alternately, they may just be suffering from what the OP dubbed as "compassion fatigue."

Ultimately, trying to be more conscientious of others and intentionally kind even when it is hard to do so has been fruitful for me, and more importantly, fruitful for others.
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Sundiata
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Postby Sundiata » Sun Nov 22, 2020 4:22 pm

Major-Tom wrote:Ultimately, trying to be more conscientious of others and intentionally kind even when it is hard to do so has been fruitful for me, and more importantly, fruitful for others.

That's reassuring to hear because our culture often tells us that being "toxic" or the "bad boy" is the way to succeed. That nice guys finish last and so on...
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The New California Republic
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Postby The New California Republic » Sun Nov 22, 2020 4:23 pm

Xmara wrote:
Saiwania wrote:
Heydrich's rule wasn't actually as harsh as it could've been. He was actually successful to a large extent in reducing unrest via a carrot and stick approach. He mercilessly went after his enemies but also threw the Czechs a bone so as to win over some loyalty. Rations and wages were increased in his jurisdiction of the Reich. He was fully competent and successful in his role within Hitler's circle. His assassination may've been done by Czechs but it was primarily the fault of the British from what I can tell.

I really do mean it. Growing up, I was verbally mistreated by a sibling too much and I have a ton of hatred in my heart. I'm bad towards them in return and I relish when they suffer any setback which has come to pass before. I never could get myself to care or know other people's emotions and when I see suffering I more often than not don't care. After all, I've never been in touch with my own emotions either. I'm perhaps just incapable of doing so.

In any case, I embrace my capacity for cruelty. I don't see it as a disorder that I can fix or that'd otherwise impose difficulties for me. If for example, it makes my romantic prospects non-existent; it doesn't upset me. Instead, I'll simply learn to be content in celibacy and use money for what I'm missing if I think I'm missing anything. Other people are more draining than rewarding for me.

Cruelty isn't something you should be proud of. If anything, it's alarming.

And tbh someone unironically comparing themselves to Heydrich as a point of pride is cringe at the very least.
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Major-Tom
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Postby Major-Tom » Sun Nov 22, 2020 4:25 pm

Sundiata wrote:
Major-Tom wrote:Ultimately, trying to be more conscientious of others and intentionally kind even when it is hard to do so has been fruitful for me, and more importantly, fruitful for others.

That's reassuring to hear because our culture often tells us that being "toxic" or the "bad boy" is the way to succeed. That nice guys finish last and so on...


Pfft, there have been times in my life where I now look back and feel totally shameful for how selfish I was. Worse yet, it didn't make me any happier.

I think that the prevailing cultural mindset here is still "do unto others and so on," I always say to just tune out the folks who try to argue that there are rewards associated with being an all around ass. There aren't.
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Kernen
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Postby Kernen » Sun Nov 22, 2020 4:33 pm

Major-Tom wrote:
Sundiata wrote:That's reassuring to hear because our culture often tells us that being "toxic" or the "bad boy" is the way to succeed. That nice guys finish last and so on...


Pfft, there have been times in my life where I now look back and feel totally shameful for how selfish I was. Worse yet, it didn't make me any happier.

I think that the prevailing cultural mindset here is still "do unto others and so on," I always say to just tune out the folks who try to argue that there are rewards associated with being an all around ass. There aren't.


There certainly can be such rewards. I'll absolutely grant that it doesn't always.
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Sundiata
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Postby Sundiata » Sun Nov 22, 2020 4:35 pm

Everyone, thank you all for not being suckers.

Speaking out against Fascism and Nazism should be more commonplace. We all know what results from that kind of talk. Don't believe in that kind of talk. There's nothing inherently wrong with people who seem different from us. There are no "other" people, we are all human beings. I used to that Nazis were crazy people, stupid crazy people, but that is ultimately not the case. They know what they're doing.

They know that they're not strong enough on their own so what they do is break people apart. They use prejudice as a weapon to cripple us. We must never let ourselves be divided by race, color, sexual orientation, religion, or gender identity. We all belong to minority groups in one form or another.

Your right to belong to specific minority groups is a precious thing. You have the right to be what you are are and say what you think and feel. We have personal freedoms and liberty. These aren't just lofty words but a practical way of life.

If we don't guard everyone's liberties we can lose our own. Do not threaten your own freedom by succumbing to this disgusting form of prejudice.
Last edited by Sundiata on Sun Nov 22, 2020 4:55 pm, edited 3 times in total.
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Garden at 6th Mile Road
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Postby Garden at 6th Mile Road » Sun Nov 22, 2020 4:38 pm

Yes, people are capable of either or both at the same time. It's not just something that you would expect someone to do 100% of time. That doesn't make someone a bad person.

We could always do ahead with a little gesture, that means even when no one is looking. Compassion and empathy is not always to show the world how nice one is as a person. It's to make another person's life nicer and less awful at the end of the day. Of course, I am not infallible. There comes a time when I had enough of being nice to a person, and started having ill-wills and thoughts unless I forget about them and take a step back.

All it takes is perhaps a little gesture of compassion and empathy, and niceness, to bring someone up from their downward spiral. <3

And I wish you a great day ahead, and maybe find a little solace out of this hellhole that is 2020.
Last edited by Garden at 6th Mile Road on Sun Nov 22, 2020 4:52 pm, edited 2 times in total.
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Postby Sundiata » Sun Nov 22, 2020 4:39 pm

The New California Republic wrote:
Xmara wrote:Cruelty isn't something you should be proud of. If anything, it's alarming.

And tbh someone unironically comparing themselves to Heydrich as a point of pride is cringe at the very least.

I am thoroughly disgusted.
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Saiwania
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Postby Saiwania » Sun Nov 22, 2020 5:24 pm

The New California Republic wrote:And tbh someone unironically comparing themselves to Heydrich as a point of pride is cringe at the very least.


I don't see it as cringe if its the truth. Look at my post history. My most active topic by far was the European Migrant Crisis where I opposed the people coming into Europe for ideological reasons. I genuinely hated those people and wanted as many of them as was possible, to not reach their final destination and have to go back to where they started from.

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Sundiata
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Postby Sundiata » Sun Nov 22, 2020 5:29 pm

Saiwania wrote:
The New California Republic wrote:And tbh someone unironically comparing themselves to Heydrich as a point of pride is cringe at the very least.


I don't see it as cringe if its the truth. Look at my post history. My most active topic by far was the European Migrant Crisis where I opposed the people coming into Europe for ideological reasons. I genuinely hated those people and wanted as many of them as was possible, to not reach their final destination and have to go back to where they started from.

Come on man.

You can't seriously think that these people actually want to leave their homes for the sake of leaving their homes. These are people's sons, daughters, mothers, and fathers. You hate them? Give me a break.
Last edited by Sundiata on Sun Nov 22, 2020 5:33 pm, edited 2 times in total.
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Suriyanakhon
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Postby Suriyanakhon » Sun Nov 22, 2020 5:32 pm

Empathy is usually something I try to conjure every day when interacting with people. If someone makes me angry, I try to remember something about them that was touching and then I'll stop feeling anger. Personally I would like to think compassion is an intrinsic part of human nature, it's just something we forget due to intense emotions.

I've never gotten tired of being compassionate or empathetic to someone, but there was a recent time in my life where I realized that someone was simply using my care for them and didn't have any intention of changing. I slowly started severing that person out of my life, not because I didn't still feel compassion toward them, but because I felt that the situation had reached a point it would have scarred me to continue.
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Xmara
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Postby Xmara » Sun Nov 22, 2020 7:24 pm

Saiwania wrote:
The New California Republic wrote:And tbh someone unironically comparing themselves to Heydrich as a point of pride is cringe at the very least.


I don't see it as cringe if its the truth. Look at my post history. My most active topic by far was the European Migrant Crisis where I opposed the people coming into Europe for ideological reasons. I genuinely hated those people and wanted as many of them as was possible, to not reach their final destination and have to go back to where they started from.

It may be the truth, but it certainly isn't something you should tout as a good thing.
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Xmara
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Postby Xmara » Sun Nov 22, 2020 7:26 pm

Sundiata wrote:
Major-Tom wrote:Ultimately, trying to be more conscientious of others and intentionally kind even when it is hard to do so has been fruitful for me, and more importantly, fruitful for others.

That's reassuring to hear because our culture often tells us that being "toxic" or the "bad boy" is the way to succeed. That nice guys finish last and so on...

I really hate when I see guys post stuff like "girls don't like nice guys." As a girl, I can assure you that we do like nice guys. If we don't like you, then maybe it's because you're not as nice of a guy as you think you are.
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Saiwania
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Postby Saiwania » Sun Nov 22, 2020 7:39 pm

Xmara wrote:I really hate when I see guys post stuff like "girls don't like nice guys." As a girl, I can assure you that we do like nice guys. If we don't like you, then maybe it's because you're not as nice of a guy as you think you are.


Being "too nice" is usually not seen as good "game" on the part of the guy. Its very arbitrary in that people have different ideas on how much nice behavior they'll tolerate before they get turned off or sick of it. But broadly speaking, there is nothing special about being nice in and of itself. People really favor if there is chemistry in their interactions with the other person or if they have enough in common whilst being compatible enough to want to continue. Whatever that happens to mean.

If someone is too nice all the time towards someone, it just gives people the idea that they're a desperate Incel or a Simp. Being like that almost inevitably never works.
Last edited by Saiwania on Sun Nov 22, 2020 7:41 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Genivaria
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Postby Genivaria » Sun Nov 22, 2020 8:20 pm

I've recently started a job recently where I take calls involving people's food stamps and unemployment.
We're expected to limit our calls to no more than 5-6 minutes or else we're supposed to transfer them to our lead team.

I've very often had calls go 10, 12, or even 20 minutes because the caller is in a situation where they are audibly sobbing and I simply refuse to hang up or transfer them while they're going through this. Alot of callers have been like this lately.

I try my hardest to do everything I can to help them with their situation, even when my leads are just telling me to have them call their 'local office'. (Here's the thing alot of those offices are closed due to Covid)

My company doesn't care, I can't not care.
My household is on food stamps right now, how can I do anything except give everything I have for people who are in the same or an even worse position than I am?

So yeah I like to think I'm being kind.
Last edited by Genivaria on Sun Nov 22, 2020 8:21 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Nobel Hobos 2
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Postby Nobel Hobos 2 » Sun Nov 22, 2020 8:29 pm

Saiwania wrote:
The New California Republic wrote:And tbh someone unironically comparing themselves to Heydrich as a point of pride is cringe at the very least.


I don't see it as cringe if its the truth. Look at my post history. My most active topic by far was the European Migrant Crisis where I opposed the people coming into Europe for ideological reasons. I genuinely hated those people and wanted as many of them as was possible, to not reach their final destination and have to go back to where they started from.


That you feel the need to tell us all what a hateful person you are, just adds on to your hateful racist ideology, to paint a picture of someone who is really unhappy with where his life choices have brought him to.

I don't know your age exactly, but it seems very likely to me that your "biological clock" has gone off, and what's lack from your life is children. (I can imagine other posters mentally screaming "noooo, Saiwania and children in the same house, worst idea ever Hobos"). But parenthood does sometimes reform a person's character, as the realize that responsibility was what they lacked all along. It dawns on them that freedom is boring and unsatisfying, without also some responsibility. If that doesn't ring any bells, how about a lurking sense of vulnerability? A realization that your life is short and precious?

It is a huge step for anyone to become a parent, even if they have stable employment and accommodation, or even some accumulated wealth. If they can't live up to the responsibility, they should leave but if that leaves someone else a single parent, leaving is very irresponsible in itself. The way out of this dilemma (other than not getting into it in the first place) is to find a single mother of one or two small children (a baby even) and try to make yourself welcome in her house. Be friendly and a good listener, be eager but not pushy for sex, help out in small manly ways whenever you see the opportunity. If the day never comes when she says "I'd like you to move in" then so be it. And if after weeks of trying you can't get along with her kid/kids, then also the plan should change to just being a friend (with or without benefits). What you're aiming for isn't a happy family: that's probably never going to happen, it's just a living situation where you're sure everyone is better off with you there, than if you left.

If you're checking out a young single mother and she's so nice and self-supporting and comely that you can't believe she's interested in you, she's probably out of your league. Too good to be true = too good to last. She will determine your problems and (probably suddenly) boot you out. Which would be terrible for you, but possibly also for one or more of her kids. I presume you want a white partner and white children, but don't even try unless you can see she has some problem keeping her from getting the partner of her choice. The problem might be obvious (she's fat, or badly educated, or has chronic health problems) or it may be something she can hide. But -- if it's not rude -- you've got some problems too, and at this stage you don't deserve a sweet-tempered, bubbly young lady, and don't think that you having money she needs will make that work. Be honest with yourself about where you are on the male dating ladder, and try for a white woman (with one or more small children) at about the same level on the female ladder. Try not to consider her children in that: to many men, children hanging around makes a woman much less attractive as a sexual partner, but single mothers are quite wary of men who seem more interested in the children than in them. For one obvious reason, but also that the children might like YOU better than her at some time in the future. You need a woman you could live with happily (enough, not first love or anything), even if there were not children. If you believe in dating, that would make it easier to form first impressions. Though personally dating has never been anything but a disaster for me, I've always met my partners as friends, introduced by other friends, and never been concerned by the suspicion of some match-making going on. I have zero sense of my own in telling if someone is "right for me" ... so, just saying, there are alternatives to dating if you're no good at it.

If it doesn't work out for you, then I'm sorry. But at least I didn't suggest you meet a nice white woman and make her pregnant. That's all-in: you'll never get out without a big hole in your heart where the kid used to be.
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Nobel Hobos 2
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Postby Nobel Hobos 2 » Sun Nov 22, 2020 8:36 pm

Genivaria wrote:I've recently started a job recently where I take calls involving people's food stamps and unemployment.
We're expected to limit our calls to no more than 5-6 minutes or else we're supposed to transfer them to our lead team.

I've very often had calls go 10, 12, or even 20 minutes because the caller is in a situation where they are audibly sobbing and I simply refuse to hang up or transfer them while they're going through this. Alot of callers have been like this lately.

I try my hardest to do everything I can to help them with their situation, even when my leads are just telling me to have them call their 'local office'. (Here's the thing alot of those offices are closed due to Covid)

My company doesn't care, I can't not care.
My household is on food stamps right now, how can I do anything except give everything I have for people who are in the same or an even worse position than I am?

So yeah I like to think I'm being kind.


By being kind you are improving the reputation of your employer, with the clients. They really should see it that way. 5-6 minutes should be a guideline to protect you. It's the time you can wind up the call if you feel you're not doing any good (and all business has been done, obviously) or the customer is being unpleasant but still resisting being hung up on.

Do you have co-workers, taking the same kind of calls? Sometimes management changes the "rules" when it's easier for them to take credit for what their staff was doing, than to try to enforce the other "rule".
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Geneviev
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Postby Geneviev » Sun Nov 22, 2020 8:38 pm

Saiwania wrote:
Xmara wrote:I really hate when I see guys post stuff like "girls don't like nice guys." As a girl, I can assure you that we do like nice guys. If we don't like you, then maybe it's because you're not as nice of a guy as you think you are.


Being "too nice" is usually not seen as good "game" on the part of the guy. Its very arbitrary in that people have different ideas on how much nice behavior they'll tolerate before they get turned off or sick of it. But broadly speaking, there is nothing special about being nice in and of itself. People really favor if there is chemistry in their interactions with the other person or if they have enough in common whilst being compatible enough to want to continue. Whatever that happens to mean.

If someone is too nice all the time towards someone, it just gives people the idea that they're a desperate Incel or a Simp. Being like that almost inevitably never works.

Just try being nice. People in general appreciate people being nice.
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Genivaria
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Postby Genivaria » Sun Nov 22, 2020 8:38 pm

Nobel Hobos 2 wrote:
Genivaria wrote:I've recently started a job recently where I take calls involving people's food stamps and unemployment.
We're expected to limit our calls to no more than 5-6 minutes or else we're supposed to transfer them to our lead team.

I've very often had calls go 10, 12, or even 20 minutes because the caller is in a situation where they are audibly sobbing and I simply refuse to hang up or transfer them while they're going through this. Alot of callers have been like this lately.

I try my hardest to do everything I can to help them with their situation, even when my leads are just telling me to have them call their 'local office'. (Here's the thing alot of those offices are closed due to Covid)

My company doesn't care, I can't not care.
My household is on food stamps right now, how can I do anything except give everything I have for people who are in the same or an even worse position than I am?

So yeah I like to think I'm being kind.


By being kind you are improving the reputation of your employer, with the clients. They really should see it that way. 5-6 minutes should be a guideline to protect you. It's the time you can wind up the call if you feel you're not doing any good (and all business has been done, obviously) or the customer is being unpleasant but still resisting being hung up on.

Do you have co-workers, taking the same kind of calls? Sometimes management changes the "rules" when it's easier for them to take credit for what their staff was doing, than to try to enforce the other "rule".

Idk, we don't talk about the nature of the calls on the group chat and I'm WFM.
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Founded: Jun 30, 2008
Inoffensive Centrist Democracy

Postby Saiwania » Sun Nov 22, 2020 9:02 pm

Nobel Hobos 2 wrote:That you feel the need to tell us all what a hateful person you are, just adds on to your hateful racist ideology, to paint a picture of someone who is really unhappy with where his life choices have brought him to....[speculation]


Don't care about children anymore. My sister has a son I approve of. The line can be continued via her and if it doesn't with me that suits me fine. Don't care about romance either because I've come to appreciate the celibate lifestyle and it perhaps was never my thing to begin with. I don't feel like I'm missing anything in that respect. There is only one thing I can't do without another person involved but it just doesn't matter to me, if there are enough alternatives and I can perhaps try it once later on without a relationship needed, just money. Probably won't feel the need to though.

All I live for now is finding a way to become rich and to live in comfort with as little effort as possible needed in terms of time demanded. Along with politics. If the broader world is going right from my perspective as it pertains to what I care about (which is primarily the majority White countries of the westernized developed world), there is nothing for me to get mad about. Unfortunately, the state of the world isn't heading in the directions I want with too much multiculturalism and Liberalism.

So far as ideology goes: I live and breathe it. That is what drives me more than anything else if financial riches aren't so forthcoming. That is what I should be focused on, advancing the Authoritarian Right as much as is possible. What they want is often what I want on a national and global basis.
Last edited by Saiwania on Sun Nov 22, 2020 9:07 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Nobel Hobos 2
Postmaster-General
 
Posts: 14114
Founded: Dec 04, 2019
Ex-Nation

Postby Nobel Hobos 2 » Sun Nov 22, 2020 9:04 pm

Genivaria wrote:
Nobel Hobos 2 wrote:
By being kind you are improving the reputation of your employer, with the clients. They really should see it that way. 5-6 minutes should be a guideline to protect you. It's the time you can wind up the call if you feel you're not doing any good (and all business has been done, obviously) or the customer is being unpleasant but still resisting being hung up on.

Do you have co-workers, taking the same kind of calls? Sometimes management changes the "rules" when it's easier for them to take credit for what their staff was doing, than to try to enforce the other "rule".

Idk, we don't talk about the nature of the calls on the group chat and I'm WFM.
My gf has been amazing support.


Ah. Confidentiality plus WFM ==> Unions Out!
Nice.
I report offenses if and only if they are crimes.
No footwear industry: citizens cannot afford new shoes.
High rate of Nobel prizes and other academic achievements.

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Nobel Hobos 2
Postmaster-General
 
Posts: 14114
Founded: Dec 04, 2019
Ex-Nation

Postby Nobel Hobos 2 » Sun Nov 22, 2020 9:14 pm

Saiwania wrote:
Nobel Hobos 2 wrote:That you feel the need to tell us all what a hateful person you are, just adds on to your hateful racist ideology, to paint a picture of someone who is really unhappy with where his life choices have brought him to....[speculation]


Don't care about children anymore. My sister has a son I approve of. The line can be continued via her and if it doesn't with me that suits me fine. Don't care about romance either because I've come to appreciate the celibate lifestyle and it perhaps was never my thing to begin with. I don't feel like I'm missing anything in that respect. There is only one thing I can't do without another person involved but it just doesn't matter to me, if there are enough alternatives and I can perhaps try it once later on without a relationship needed, just money. Probably won't feel the need to though.


Well being an uncle is better than nothing. Personally I've got nothing. Well an in-law family, but I see them so rarely I see the little ones and say "which one's Tom" and some teenager taller than me sticks out his hand!

All I live for now is finding a way to become rich and to live in comfort with as little effort as possible needed. Along with politics. If the broader world is going right from my perspective as it pertains to what I care about (which is primarily the majority White countries of the westernized developed world), there is nothing for me to get mad about. Unfortunately, the state of the world isn't heading in the directions I want with too much multiculturalism and Liberalism.


Not getting mad is good. Seeking comfort, not so good: about when that happens your body will start to collapse, and comfort will be impossible. Or maybe I'm only judging by my parents' generation, and for us pharmaceutical comfort awaits!

So far as ideology goes: I live and breathe it. That is what drives me more than anything else if financial riches aren't so forthcoming. That is what I should be focused on, advancing the Authoritarian Right as much as is possible. What they want is often what I want on a national and global basis.


I wish you nothing but humiliating failure in advancing the agenda of the Authoritarian Right :)
I report offenses if and only if they are crimes.
No footwear industry: citizens cannot afford new shoes.
High rate of Nobel prizes and other academic achievements.

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Genivaria
Khan of Spam
 
Posts: 67340
Founded: Mar 29, 2011
Iron Fist Consumerists

Postby Genivaria » Sun Nov 22, 2020 9:33 pm

Nobel Hobos 2 wrote:
Genivaria wrote:Idk, we don't talk about the nature of the calls on the group chat and I'm WFM.
My gf has been amazing support.


Ah. Confidentiality plus WFM ==> Unions Out!
Nice.

Well I don't have a car so WFM is preferable when the alternative is taking a 2 hour commute to and from work every day.
Liberal Social Democrat. Vague leftist, growing more cynical as each day passes.
The DNC is better than the GOP like Manslaughter is better than Murder: Seems like a lesser crime, but the victim can't tell the difference.

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