NationStates

Please consider the following scenario:

Imagine one day you are walking along on your way home, as an ordinary underpaid and overworked 25 year old with no career prospects, when you see a poor grey coloured cat with red eyes being chased by a pack of dogs. You save the poor cat from the dogs, and to your surprise it starts speaking.

"Thank you for saving me!" it says, and you gasp. Then, it tells you something else: "I used to be able to grant wishes using magical powers. However, now I can only make one of them happen: the cursed wish to grant you $200,000 American legal tender!"

Curious, you ask the cat (whose name is Y'shtola, by the way) what this means.

"Well, once I grant you this wish you will play the lottery and win $200,000. Unfortunately you grow permanent, fully functioning taste-buds in your butthole that cannot be removed or be subverted in any way. How does it sound?"

You consider for a moment, and Y'shtola creates two magic wands with his powers.

"The pink wand will allow you to win $200,000, while the brown wand will let you remain a normal human with a normal butthole."

The wands throb with power.

You reach out, ready to take one of them into your hands. But which one will you choose?

What is it today with all the stray cats?

I call the local vet and have them all neutered.

Definitely the brown wand.

The Blaatschapen wrote:What is it today with all the stray cats?

I call the local vet and have them all neutered.

the cat curses you with the tastebuds but no $200,000.

I suppose I'd have to know what I'd be tasting before committing to an answer.

Also, why are so many magical cats handing out wands? Was there a sale I didn't hear about?

No amount of Surgery and Money from the Lottery put into it can save you if you pick Pink. Also, remember, this is following the trail of Midas's Gold Touch but this time you know and will get to decide if you have it. Pick Brown, sometimes you don't need good karma.

Can I take the brown wand and pass it along? I know someone who had colon cancer. And someone with a stoma.

The Blaatschapen wrote:Can I take the brown wand and pass it along? I know someone who had colon cancer. And someone with a stoma.

Again, this kind of follows the trail of King Midas, so I bet not.

This is kinda copying Sanghyeok.

Empirical Switzerland wrote:This is kinda copying Sanghyeok.

That's where it's familiar...
Well, only this time, different outcomes.

Nevertopia wrote:"The pink wand [...] the brown wand [...] a normal butthole."

The wands throb with power.

...what...is going on here...?

I vote to retain my current butthole and carry on with my normal life. $200,000 dollars isn’t anywhere near enough for me to do that to myself.

Kathol Rift wrote:I vote to retain my current butthole and carry on with my normal life. $200,000 dollars isn’t anywhere near enough for me to do that to myself.

Ditto.

I gotta think keeping a butt full of tastebuds clean, and sanitary is going to be an ordeal, so i will pass on the offer

I use the brown wand to remain a normal human, then hug the cat to thank it for the proposition.

Then I dislocate the cat's eyes with the brown wand for trying to fool me like that.

I can just chose the pink one and then do a butt surgery

Nevertopia wrote:Please consider the following scenario:

Imagine one day you are walking along on your way home, as an ordinary underpaid and overworked 25 year old with no career prospects, when you see a poor grey coloured cat with red eyes being chased by a pack of dogs. You save the poor cat from the dogs, and to your surprise it starts speaking.

"Thank you for saving me!" it says, and you gasp. Then, it tells you something else: "I used to be able to grant wishes using magical powers. However, now I can only make one of them happen: the cursed wish to grant you $200,000 American legal tender!"

Curious, you ask the cat (whose name is Y'shtola, by the way) what this means.

"Well, once I grant you this wish you will play the lottery and win $200,000. Unfortunately you grow permanent, fully functioning taste-buds in your butthole that cannot be removed or be subverted in any way. How does it sound?"

You consider for a moment, and Y'shtola creates two magic wands with his powers.

"The pink wand will allow you to win $200,000, while the brown wand will let you remain a normal human with a normal butthole."

The wands throb with power.

You reach out, ready to take one of them into your hands. But which one will you choose?

Are the wands dildos? This is so fucqing cursed goddamn.

I'd take the brown wand...

...and then give it to somebody who needs it more than me, like someone at a cancer hospital or a home for Alzheimer's patients.

200k Ain't worth it. It's not enough to set me up for life.

you guys are weird.

I'm stealing the cat and selling it to a government agency.

I would rather live a normal and happy life than become famous for not only my riches but because of my multi-functioning butthole

I'm fairly convinced that no amount of money would want me to taste the my own sweat and sh*t for the rest of my life, and 200k$ isn't even that much...

Hello, Pentagon?

Another thought: I get the 200k$ but I use it for surgery to extract my butthole tastebuds

What I call genius