TET: Snail Riders, Charge!

[Luziyca]

So, not only is tomorrow my birthday, it’s also one of my friend’s wedding day. I’m not going to her wedding though. Instead my parents are taking me out to eat.

Happy birthday to you as well.

[Heloin]

Haphy birthday to yjj in
Happy birthdsy to you
Hapy birthdya dear Xmara
Happy birh day to you!

[The Free Joy State]

Happy birthday Heloin!

*titters*

Who didn't? Testing boundaries is a normal part of growing up. It's how kids learn to think for themselves and become independent enough to make good future choices without needing someone else to tell them what to do.

My parents used to tell the story, which they thought so cute they wheeled it out in front of guests until I asked them to stop, of the time I was five-ish and my Dad said something about being Brad Pitt's brother. To which I replied (and I still don't know where I learned the word at that age) "Cess Pitt".

My point is that kids are supposed to flex their muscles. It's how they assert their individuality. That's not to say there aren't boundaries (and I do remember having boundaries when I grew up) but there is evidence authoritarian parenting (with nothing but boundaries) isn't good for children or their development.

I have some funny stories, many of which involve being able to read words that I didn't understand. So small four to six year old me had to (loudly) ask my parents about them. They should never have let me read.

Anyway, I don't think my parents were not good for my development. I had to learn that I was being ridiculous then, and I definitely didn't know what I needed. I was four. The boundaries were necessary, arguing with them was stupid.

I never said your parents were bad for your development. If you heard that, that's not my doing.

Also, not being an authoritarian parent doesn't mean there are no boundaries. My parents were not authoritarian. But there is such a thing as an authoritative parent (and there is a difference between authoritative parents and authoritarian parents).

Authoritarian parents are absolutist; no matter the age of the child. They see children as strong-willed and see themselves as having the duty to bend their child to the authority. Authoritative parents also set boundaries, but adjust those boundaries to the needs of the specific child; they listen to the child and respect their opinions (thus making the child feel valued).

[Farnhamia]

Haphy birthday to yjj in
Happy birthdsy to you
Hapy birthdya dear Xmara
Happy birh day to you!

Someone's had a good birthday.

[The Black Forrest]

Haphy birthday to yjj in
Happy birthdsy to you
Hapy birthdya dear Xmara
Happy birh day to you!

Don’t forget me. Aug 3rd.

[-Astoria-]

Haphy birthday to yjj in
Happy birthdsy to you
Hapy birthdya dear Xmara
Happy birh day to you!

Someone's had a good birthday.

I swear there is a song based off this...

[Geneviev]

Happy birthday Heloin!


I have some funny stories, many of which involve being able to read words that I didn't understand. So small four to six year old me had to (loudly) ask my parents about them. They should never have let me read.

Anyway, I don't think my parents were not good for my development. I had to learn that I was being ridiculous then, and I definitely didn't know what I needed. I was four. The boundaries were necessary, arguing with them was stupid.

I never said your parents were bad for your development. If you heard that, that's not my doing.

Also, not being an authoritarian parent doesn't mean there are no boundaries. My parents were not authoritarian. But there is such a thing as an authoritative parent (and there is a difference between authoritative parents and authoritarian parents).

Authoritarian parents are absolutist; no matter the age of the child. They see children as strong-willed and see themselves as having the duty to bend their child to the authority. Authoritative parents also set boundaries, but adjust those boundaries to the needs of the specific child; they listen to the child and respect their opinions (thus making the child feel valued).

Whoever is responsible for those terms being so similar is making life very complicated. It has to be very easy to confuse them.

I like children, but I don't know if their opinions mean much. They don't really know what they're talking about. Listening to them wouldn't be the best idea. Children need authority instead, in my opinion. Then they can learn without doing something that could harm them.

[Andsed]

I have now at midnight decided sleep is for the weak which is why I humbly request that someone wallop me over the head with a book so that I might actually get some fucking sleep like a functioning person.

[The Free Joy State]

Haphy birthday to yjj in
Happy birthdsy to you
Hapy birthdya dear Xmara
Happy birh day to you!

Who's been feeding the TET bunny alcohol?

I never said your parents were bad for your development. If you heard that, that's not my doing.

Also, not being an authoritarian parent doesn't mean there are no boundaries. My parents were not authoritarian. But there is such a thing as an authoritative parent (and there is a difference between authoritative parents and authoritarian parents).

Authoritarian parents are absolutist; no matter the age of the child. They see children as strong-willed and see themselves as having the duty to bend their child to the authority. Authoritative parents also set boundaries, but adjust those boundaries to the needs of the specific child; they listen to the child and respect their opinions (thus making the child feel valued).

Whoever is responsible for those terms being so similar is making life very complicated. It has to be very easy to confuse them.

I like children, but I don't know if their opinions mean much. They don't really know what they're talking about. Listening to them wouldn't be the best idea. Children need authority instead, in my opinion. Then they can learn without doing something that could harm them.

You have to let go of their hands at some point.

Isn't is better to start doing so while they're in a protected environment and the repercussions for a bad decision are small, rather than wait until they're a legal adult and the repercussions could be deadly?

[Geneviev]

I have now at midnight decided sleep is for the weak which is why I humbly request that someone wallop me over the head with a book so that I might actually get some fucking sleep like a functioning person.

I don't think violence is the answer here. May I recommend that you read my chemistry book instead? It will have the same effect.

[Geneviev]

Whoever is responsible for those terms being so similar is making life very complicated. It has to be very easy to confuse them.

I like children, but I don't know if their opinions mean much. They don't really know what they're talking about. Listening to them wouldn't be the best idea. Children need authority instead, in my opinion. Then they can learn without doing something that could harm them.

You have to let go of their hands at some point.

Isn't is better to start doing so while they're in a protected environment and the repercussions for a bad decision are small, rather than wait until they're a legal adult and the repercussions could be deadly?

By the time they're adults, they should know better.

[The Free Joy State]

You have to let go of their hands at some point.

Isn't is better to start doing so while they're in a protected environment and the repercussions for a bad decision are small, rather than wait until they're a legal adult and the repercussions could be deadly?

By the time they're adults, they should know better.

Not if you don't give them the chance to build up their own knowledge of right and wrong and their own internal moral code.

That's partly why authoritarian parenting is linked with more behavioural problems in later life, including anti-social behaviour, aggressive behaviour, and increased alcohol abuse.

[Geneviev]

By the time they're adults, they should know better.

Not if you don't give them the chance to build up their own knowledge of right and wrong and their own internal moral code.

That's partly why authoritarian parenting is linked with more behavioural problems in later life, including anti-social behaviour, aggressive behaviour, and increased alcohol abuse.

The problem there is that they don't really listen to their parents. I'm not going to drink too much because I know that my parents are against it, and I know the dangers of it. I didn't have to try alcoholism to learn that.

[Infected Mushroom]

Children need firm leadership. Just like the people do.

That’s my understanding.

[Geneviev]

Children need firm leadership. Just like the people do.

That’s my understanding.

I think children are the people.

[The Free Joy State]

Not if you don't give them the chance to build up their own knowledge of right and wrong and their own internal moral code.

That's partly why authoritarian parenting is linked with more behavioural problems in later life, including anti-social behaviour, aggressive behaviour, and increased alcohol abuse.

The problem there is that they don't really listen to their parents. I'm not going to drink too much because I know that my parents are against it, and I know the dangers of it. I didn't have to try alcoholism to learn that.

Studies disagree, and say it's commonly due to that particular parenting style.

I think I'll go with the science, which shows a consistent factor in raising successful happy children is having authoritative, not authoritarian, parents. One of the other factors cited (which plays into that), having "sensitive caregiving" (i.e. parents who responded to their needs and provided a secure base from which children could explore the world).

Perhaps you may want to read some of the research cited, rather than simply doubling-down again. I've provided a lot.

Children need firm leadership. Just like the people do.

That’s my understanding.

You misunderstand what children (and "the people" in general) need.

[Geneviev]

The problem there is that they don't really listen to their parents. I'm not going to drink too much because I know that my parents are against it, and I know the dangers of it. I didn't have to try alcoholism to learn that.

Studies disagree, and say it's commonly due to that particular parenting style.

I think I'll go with the science, which shows a consistent factor in raising successful happy children is having authoritative, not authoritarian, parents. One of the other factors cited (which plays into that), having "sensitive caregiving" (i.e. parents who responded to their needs and provided a secure base from which children could explore the world).

I don't know about the science here. Letting children decide that they do not want to go to bed yet isn't going to help them. And explaining why sleep is necessary is a waste of time.

[The Free Joy State]

Studies disagree, and say it's commonly due to that particular parenting style.

I think I'll go with the science, which shows a consistent factor in raising successful happy children is having authoritative, not authoritarian, parents. One of the other factors cited (which plays into that), having "sensitive caregiving" (i.e. parents who responded to their needs and provided a secure base from which children could explore the world).

I don't know about the science here. Letting children decide that they do not want to go to bed yet isn't going to help them. And explaining why sleep is necessary is a waste of time.

Authoritative parenting can have bedtimes, too. But it disagrees on the latter point. If a child understands why sleep is important, they will go to bed willingly, and be less likely to sit up all night (under the covers, with the flashlight) reading.

If they only go up out of compliance, but don't see why they have to, you know they'll sit up reading half the night (or playing a handheld gaming device if they can get away with it).

Fear teaches surface obedience (being seen to obey). Understanding helps a child internalise right from wrong.

[-Astoria-]

Children need firm leadership. Just like the people do.

That’s my understanding.

That's a terrible idea.

[Geneviev]

I don't know about the science here. Letting children decide that they do not want to go to bed yet isn't going to help them. And explaining why sleep is necessary is a waste of time.

Authoritative parenting can have bedtimes, too. But it disagrees on the latter point. If a child understands why sleep is important, they will go to bed willingly, and be less likely to sit up all night (under the covers, with the flashlight) reading.

If they only go up out of compliance, but don't see why they have to, you know they'll sit up reading half the night (or playing a handheld gaming device if they can get away with it).

Fear teaches surface obedience (being seen to obey). Understanding helps a child internalise right from wrong.

They would ask for explanations just to delay things. A child that doesn't care about the answers will still ask for explanations to take time.

And I see nothing wrong with reading half the night, and definitely never did such a thing when I was young. Never.

[The Free Joy State]

Authoritative parenting can have bedtimes, too. But it disagrees on the latter point. If a child understands why sleep is important, they will go to bed willingly, and be less likely to sit up all night (under the covers, with the flashlight) reading.

If they only go up out of compliance, but don't see why they have to, you know they'll sit up reading half the night (or playing a handheld gaming device if they can get away with it).

Fear teaches surface obedience (being seen to obey). Understanding helps a child internalise right from wrong.

They would ask for explanations just to delay things. A child that doesn't care about the answers will still ask for explanations to take time.

Children aren't malevolent. Especially small children. Generally, they genuinely just want answers. Answering their questions are how you help them internalise right from wrong.

Why is that such a bad thing? Why is a few moments' delay the worst thing in the world if it helps a child -- someone dependent on you -- gain understanding?

And I see nothing wrong with reading half the night, and definitely never did such a thing when I was young. Never.

Actually, I truly didn't sit up reading half the night when I was a kid. But, then, while I did have a bedtime when I was little, I remember negotiating it with my parents to have ample time for both TV and reading (so that may have made a difference).

[Nobel Hobos 2]

Studies disagree, and say it's commonly due to that particular parenting style.

I think I'll go with the science, which shows a consistent factor in raising successful happy children is having authoritative, not authoritarian, parents. One of the other factors cited (which plays into that), having "sensitive caregiving" (i.e. parents who responded to their needs and provided a secure base from which children could explore the world).

I don't know about the science here. Letting children decide that they do not want to go to bed yet isn't going to help them. And explaining why sleep is necessary is a waste of time.

Oh I dunno. If you explain for long enough in a sleepy voice and without too much intellectual content, you might actually send the child to sleep!

If your patience isn't up to that, you could read them a book.

[The Free Joy State]

I don't know about the science here. Letting children decide that they do not want to go to bed yet isn't going to help them. And explaining why sleep is necessary is a waste of time.

Oh I dunno. If you explain for long enough in a sleepy voice and without too much intellectual content, you might actually send the child to sleep!

If your patience isn't up to that, you could read them a book.

Apparently, when I was a toddler and insisting that I wanted to stay up, my parents used to put on Mary Poppins. By the end of Stay Awake, I'd be fast asleep.

That song made me drowsy for years.

[Infected Mushroom]

Children need firm leadership. Just like the people do.

That’s my understanding.

I think children are the people.

A very interesting thought

[Infected Mushroom]

Children need firm leadership. Just like the people do.

That’s my understanding.

That's a terrible idea.

Within reason of course