On Abuse and Violence

[South Acren]

Being what one could call "stereotypical emotionless male", if such thing exists, I do believe Females can get away with it much more then males, In fact, its less reported due to the fact guys are told to "Suck it up" and "Its part of being a man" when in reality its just as wrong as physical abuse. I can tell you, Noone should "Suck it up" or just "Deal with it" It tears you up inside and can turn people into what people say, an emotionless robot. I have seen a woman actually beat her partner to hell, only to get a small fine. So yes, I do believe this is an Issue and its swept under the carpet by those who think its not a problem. It is, and it needs to stop. You can't have people thinking that emotional or physical abuse is just "Part of growing up"

[Green October Z]

Being what one could call "stereotypical emotionless male", if such thing exists, I do believe Females can get away with it much more then males, In fact, its less reported due to the fact guys are told to "Suck it up" and "Its part of being a man" when in reality its just as wrong as physical abuse. I can tell you, Noone should "Suck it up" or just "Deal with it" It tears you up inside and can turn people into what people say, an emotionless robot. I have seen a woman actually beat her partner to hell, only to get a small fine. So yes, I do believe this is an Issue and its swept under the carpet by those who think its not a problem. It is, and it needs to stop. You can't have people thinking that emotional or physical abuse is just "Part of growing up"

My thoughts exactly!

[Sundiata]

All in all, I think that our society as a whole is very chaotic and out of touch with the way things are under perfect conditions. It's not going to be an easy road to go down but making our lives more perfect is going to take adherence to good law and good order.

[Green October Z]

All in all, I think that our society as a whole is very chaotic and out of touch with the way things are under perfect conditions. It's not going to be an easy road to go down but making our lives more perfect is going to take adherence to good law and good order.

What?

[Sundiata]

All in all, I think that our society as a whole is very chaotic and out of touch with the way things are under perfect conditions. It's not going to be an easy road to go down but making our lives more perfect is going to take adherence to good law and good order.

What?

With respect to abuse we have to enforce the law equally.

[Green October Z]

What?

With respect to abuse we have to enforce the law equally.

Yes, but we also have to fix society's perceptions of it.

[Sundiata]

With respect to abuse we have to enforce the law equally.

Yes, but we also have to fix society's perceptions of it.

That's true, there has to be order.

[Green October Z]

Yes, but we also have to fix society's perceptions of it.

That's true, there has to be order.

Okay...

[Purpelia]

What I would do is stay the hell out of someone else's life. That's what you are supposed to do if you aren't a nosy meddler.

[Green October Z]

What I would do is stay the hell out of someone else's life. That's what you are supposed to do if you aren't a nosy meddler.

We are talking about abuse here. Not the NSA

[Major-Tom]

Emotional abuse certainly exists in relationships, guys and gals can both be guilty of it. I've been on the receiving end of it in a relationship, and while it is a terrible experience that has impacted me in some facets, I can't imagine the horrors of experiencing domestic abuse and violence. Anyone who would engage in that sort of behavior is disgusting, and I think my country needs to work more towards combatting it.

[Bromagia]

Since I carry a gun much of the time, I'm not inclined to involve myself in a couple's dispute beyond placing a phone call to the police unless someone is in immediate danger of death or serious injury. This applies without regard to the sex involved.

[Green October Z]

Since I carry a gun much of the time, I'm not inclined to involve myself in a couple's dispute beyond placing a phone call to the police unless someone is in immediate danger of death or serious injury. This applies without regard to the sex involved.

We are not talking about that here :\

[Torisakia]

You can't be the victim of domestic abuse if you're never in a relationship. (roll_safe.gif)

[Thepeopl]

To quote Isaac Asimov:

Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent.

We, the society should educate our children and adults in better emotion regulation and open communication.
If you say stop, you should mean it. (Unless in a rpg session but then you have a safe word)

Anger, sadness, frustration, fear are not bad. Nor good. They are just feelings. And if you accept that, you can choose how to respond to those feelings.
No suppression needed. You are not your feelings. They will pass.


Abuse and violence are failing to deal with your feelings in a constructive way. And anyone who cannot channel their feelings properly, should be taught. Repeat offenders should be incarcerated.

[Bromagia]

Since I carry a gun much of the time, I'm not inclined to involve myself in a couple's dispute beyond placing a phone call to the police unless someone is in immediate danger of death or serious injury. This applies without regard to the sex involved.

We are not talking about that here :\

Violence and abuse are bad regardless of who is being abusive. I'm not getting involved beyond calling the police. Double standards do exist and are dumb.

As for my original post: I was roughly responding to the scenario presented in the OP. You see someone being abused, etc.

[Bromagia]

To quote Isaac Asimov:

Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent.

We, the society should educate our children and adults in better emotion regulation and open communication.
If you say stop, you should mean it. (Unless in a rpg session but then you have a safe word)

Anger, sadness, frustration, fear are not bad. Nor good. They are just feelings. And if you accept that, you can choose how to respond to those feelings.
No suppression needed. You are not your feelings. They will pass.


Abuse and violence are failing to deal with your feelings in a constructive way. And anyone who cannot channel their feelings properly, should be taught. Repeat offenders should be incarcerated.

Much as I like Asimov, that quote is overly simplistic and trite. Many situations exist where the only reasonable solution is violence.

Come to think of it, Asimov didn't say that, did he? It was a character, Hober Mallow I think, in Foundation who said that.

[Thepeopl]

To quote Isaac Asimov:


We, the society should educate our children and adults in better emotion regulation and open communication.
If you say stop, you should mean it. (Unless in a rpg session but then you have a safe word)

Anger, sadness, frustration, fear are not bad. Nor good. They are just feelings. And if you accept that, you can choose how to respond to those feelings.
No suppression needed. You are not your feelings. They will pass.


Abuse and violence are failing to deal with your feelings in a constructive way. And anyone who cannot channel their feelings properly, should be taught. Repeat offenders should be incarcerated.

Much as I like Asimov, that quote is overly simplistic and trite. Many situations exist where the only reasonable solution is violence.

Come to think of it, Asimov didn't say that, did he? It was a character, Hober Mallow I think, in Foundation who said that.

Could you name some situations in a relationship where violence is the only reasonable solution?

[Bromagia]

Much as I like Asimov, that quote is overly simplistic and trite. Many situations exist where the only reasonable solution is violence.

Come to think of it, Asimov didn't say that, did he? It was a character, Hober Mallow I think, in Foundation who said that.

Could you name some situations in a relationship where violence is the only reasonable solution?

I was beefing with the quote. The quote doesn't reference relationships.

[Thepeopl]

Could you name some situations in a relationship where violence is the only reasonable solution?

I was beefing with the quote. The quote doesn't reference relationships.

But I did.
Biologists and psychologists differentiate between aggression and violence

https://www.goodtherapy.org/learn-about ... n-violence

Violence is intentionally destructive, aggression can be destructive but most of the time isn't

[Bromagia]

I was beefing with the quote. The quote doesn't reference relationships.

But I did.
Biologists and psychologists differentiate between aggression and violence

https://www.goodtherapy.org/learn-about ... n-violence

Violence is intentionally destructive, aggression can be destructive but most of the time isn't

If it satisfies you, one perfectly appropriate use of violence in a relationship is to prevent violence against oneself.

[Ethel mermania]

Much as I like Asimov, that quote is overly simplistic and trite. Many situations exist where the only reasonable solution is violence.

Come to think of it, Asimov didn't say that, did he? It was a character, Hober Mallow I think, in Foundation who said that.

Could you name some situations in a relationship where violence is the only reasonable solution?

When my spouse pulls a .45 smokeless from under the bed

[Thepeopl]

Could you name some situations in a relationship where violence is the only reasonable solution?

When my spouse pulls a .45 smokeless from under the bed

But, but, that's foreplay...

[Ethel mermania]

When my spouse pulls a .45 smokeless from under the bed

But, but, that's foreplay...

But, I said the safe word, Fluggaenkoecchicebolsen, but mrs mermania doesn't speak german.


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[Page]

I was thinking about double-standards after a post in a group I moderate, in which a woman posted that her boyfriend has panic attacks and she gets mad at him for that and that makes his panic attacks even worse. To her credit, she knew she was wrong for responding to her boyfriend's anxiety with anger, and she wanted advice on how to stop, but of course many people were disgusted by her post and it caused some conflict. Others were very tolerant though, and the thought crossed my mind that if it were a man who admits to getting angry at his girlfriend for having panic attacks, he would probably have been unanimously condemned and called an abuser.