Bombadil wrote:Austria-Bohemia-Hungary wrote:So that attempted coup d'etat in Michigan just happened.
What is it with middle aged white bald men with beards.
As a resident middle aged white man with a beard...
...well, I don't own a gun and if I did I wouldn't traipse it down to the government building and harass staffers to demand the worst possible solution to my concerns. But I might be able to shed some light on what goes into thinking that might be okay.
The sidewalk. Let me just say, I am a timid person who will assure you that if you think you can beat me up, you probably can. I don't find value in that. It's an arbitrary distinction. Also, it won't get you anywhere unless you get a perverted sense of pleasure beating me up.
Weirdo.
Now, with all that self deprecating insecurity you would imagine that I walk through life trying my best not to get in anyone's way or draw anyone's attention, deferring as often as possible and often when it's' not even a good idea.
And I do.
Except two things: My hair decided that if I was going to take that beautiful blonde whispy hair and cut it into a mullet, I didn't deserve hair. So I started going bald at 17. I don't even get a 'do over' haircut where I prove that I can be responsible, just mullet to 'don't go in that guy's van' long hair baldness to surrendering and shaving my head bald.
The other thing is my three inch long goatee. I was trying to make a fancy goatee combo because all of a sudden Clydes everywhere were sprouting goatees, but I screwed up and just grew this thing. Which also happens to scream: "I would like to be cast as a background actor on Sons of Anarchy."
Now, I don't carry myself that way and my body also screams (most of the time) 'This man loves burritos and sitting still.' No one who is a tough guy or has done tough things or thinks about it for half a second would think I could make a fist much less throw a punch.
But the beardbald is made of magic. People don't think about it. I scare people frequently...while trying to be mousey! Also, you get away with fucking everything. It's Big Karen energy, I just realized. While a Karen might make a stink and want to see a manager, I may have done my thoughtless transgression just so I can pick a fight with someone or start yelling about...I don't know...Afghanistan? I don't know what tough guys do.
So what happens is everyone defers to you even when you're not trying. You come to rely on the fact that there will be a certain amount of intimidation in every interaction. "Oh yeah, look at me...you don't know, man. You don't know...I could be the kind of guy with an uncomfortably large collection of knives that all have names and not much function." or "I have a favorite serial killer" or "I'm a walking Billy Big Mouth Bass waiting to shout abuses regarding my sloganeered libertarianism at a trigger you have now way of knowing about."
Now, if I wasn't checked by my pasty nature, unwillingness to get punched, and general self loathing...that shit would be not just empowering, it'd be super empowering. Nothing I did would be considered in bad taste or ill conceived because the only people who would dare oppose the might BeardBald would be some sort of liberal pussy who is too sensitive. Who's going to challenge me? I'm BeardBald! I am impervious to self reflection.
My guess.
...well, I don't own a gun and if I did I wouldn't traipse it down to the government building and harass staffers to demand the worst possible solution to my concerns. But I might be able to shed some light on what goes into thinking that might be okay.
The sidewalk. Let me just say, I am a timid person who will assure you that if you think you can beat me up, you probably can. I don't find value in that. It's an arbitrary distinction. Also, it won't get you anywhere unless you get a perverted sense of pleasure beating me up.
Weirdo.
Now, with all that self deprecating insecurity you would imagine that I walk through life trying my best not to get in anyone's way or draw anyone's attention, deferring as often as possible and often when it's' not even a good idea.
And I do.
Except two things: My hair decided that if I was going to take that beautiful blonde whispy hair and cut it into a mullet, I didn't deserve hair. So I started going bald at 17. I don't even get a 'do over' haircut where I prove that I can be responsible, just mullet to 'don't go in that guy's van' long hair baldness to surrendering and shaving my head bald.
The other thing is my three inch long goatee. I was trying to make a fancy goatee combo because all of a sudden Clydes everywhere were sprouting goatees, but I screwed up and just grew this thing. Which also happens to scream: "I would like to be cast as a background actor on Sons of Anarchy."
Now, I don't carry myself that way and my body also screams (most of the time) 'This man loves burritos and sitting still.' No one who is a tough guy or has done tough things or thinks about it for half a second would think I could make a fist much less throw a punch.
But the beardbald is made of magic. People don't think about it. I scare people frequently...while trying to be mousey! Also, you get away with fucking everything. It's Big Karen energy, I just realized. While a Karen might make a stink and want to see a manager, I may have done my thoughtless transgression just so I can pick a fight with someone or start yelling about...I don't know...Afghanistan? I don't know what tough guys do.
So what happens is everyone defers to you even when you're not trying. You come to rely on the fact that there will be a certain amount of intimidation in every interaction. "Oh yeah, look at me...you don't know, man. You don't know...I could be the kind of guy with an uncomfortably large collection of knives that all have names and not much function." or "I have a favorite serial killer" or "I'm a walking Billy Big Mouth Bass waiting to shout abuses regarding my sloganeered libertarianism at a trigger you have now way of knowing about."
Now, if I wasn't checked by my pasty nature, unwillingness to get punched, and general self loathing...that shit would be not just empowering, it'd be super empowering. Nothing I did would be considered in bad taste or ill conceived because the only people who would dare oppose the might BeardBald would be some sort of liberal pussy who is too sensitive. Who's going to challenge me? I'm BeardBald! I am impervious to self reflection.
My guess.
