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Fantastic creatures hypothetical

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Diopolis
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Fantastic creatures hypothetical

Postby Diopolis » Thu Apr 23, 2020 6:00 am

So, fed up with discussing coronavirus, Donald Trump, and Donald Trump's coronavirus, I got to wondering how society should respond if various mythical creatures turn out to be real.
So, because we're stuck at home in quarantine, I came up with a bunch of mythical creatures for us to argue over how to respond to.
In the dio-verse, vampires are mumble resurrected corpses through mumble with the practical effect that they are completely sociopathic, with no conscience, and require regular infusions of human blood to sustain themselves, in large enough quantities that they can almost never get it without causing severe damage or death to the donor. Animal blood will not work.
Vampires can be weakened, but not seriously injured or killed, by sunlight, garlic, religious paraphernalia, and salt. The only way to kill them is decapitation, combustion, or a stake through the heart, or something which results in one of the three(eg, nuclear explosion). Unfortunately, all of these also kill humans. The only reliable ways to tell a vampire from a human is by either killing them(in which case the vampire will crumble into dust), or imprisoning them for a week and feeding them only human food(in which case the vampire will get extremely sick), although there are a few telltale signs.
Vampires do need an invitation to enter a private house, with the caveats that they can interpret anything as an invitation that they can convince themselves of, and that it only applies to private homes. Tents, RV's, and hotels do not apply. While a homeowner can take some common sense precautions to keep vampires out, he can't 100% guarantee there's nothing they'll be able to interpret as an invitation.
Oh, and a human-vampire straight fight will pretty much always end in the vampire eating said human. They're stronger, faster, can regenerate, and are smarter.

25 days out of the lunar cycle, werewolves are normal humans. The three days closest to the full moon however, the power of mumble transforms them into creatures not unlike a rabid bear. Except more aggressive and it actually seeks out people to murder, and a lot tougher. Police officers who've responded to loose werewolves estimate it takes a minimum of five 12 ga slugs to put down a werewolf. They've been known to bite through rebar and overturn SUV's.
While nocturnal during this time, werewolves are still dangerous during the day- they've been known to go on a rampage when disturbed in daylight hours(so exactly like nighttime).
There is no known way to remove the aggression from werewolves in their transformed form, and they are immune to most drugs and poisons, although not to conventional weaponry. As mentioned above, however, they require an amount of killing that's simply ridiculous. If contained securely before the transformation, werewolves will be relatively tame, but still don't get too close to the bars. They're not escape artists, but they are bad tempered and strong enough to overturn SUV's and bite through rebar, so containing them securely is an extreme challenge.
Unlike vampires, werewolves can be told apart when in human form- if their skin is sliced through, they will instantly grow hair on the other side around the cut. There are also a few signs of lycanthropy that can be observed in the typical untransformed werewolf, such as high body hair. However, for practical and humanitarian reasons, you can't test everyone who has a hairy chest.
People who survive werewolf attacks will inevitably become werewolves, but the survival rate of werewolf attacks is pretty low, and it takes several months to transform

Fairies in the dio-verse are the ones from classical folklore, not from victorian children's books. Fairies are vulnerable to iron, but it does cause permanent damage, and they can't enter a house without an invitation, but like vampires, they're often capable of figuring out how to get themselves one.
Fairies steal children, cause disease, abuse animals, and do a wide variety of other nasty things, although usually not with any immediate fatalities. Their victims usually go insane or die a few days to weeks later, instead. Those who don't suffer either fate are invariably left horribly traumatized.
To cap it off, they have no understanding of human morality, and are alien enough to be difficult to negotiate with. They do, however, have a code. It's just that no one understands it, or has figured out any way to use it to protect themselves.
Fairies have a political leadership under their king and queen, who can be negotiated with, although it's not usually advised because they're too alien for meaningful dialogue.

Dragons are classic charismatic megafauna. In the dio-verse, they're obligate carnivores similar to any other apex predator, except for whatever examples of mumble are necessary for things like flying and breathing fire. Their size- like flying whales- and high metabolism requires them to have massive territories, and they usually nest in remote areas. Usually. A juvenile male once set up on top of the empire state building.
Dragonfire has an effective range of 40 feet, and can't melt steel or copper, but can melt lead. Most of a dragon's body is bulletproof, except for a handful of soft spots on their bodies, of which the easiest to hit is located in each armpit. They also require elephant gun caliber as the minimum for killing. Due to these soft spots, dragons hoard hard objects to bed down on, which get stuck over them and serve as a form of armor. Removing anything from a dragon's hoard is extremely dangerous, and, if successful, will invariably result in a rampage over any inhabited areas within range. "Within range" can be a huge area, here. A dragon nesting in southern Greenland once set most of Halifax on fire after a ring went missing.
There are two other main dangers to people from dragon inhabitation- hunting, and mating fights.
Dragons hunt exclusively large game, and except for younger specimens usually won't bother with something the size of a person. But, they have been known to kill off ranch employees raiding cattle ranches, especially mothers with their young, who often need the extra sustenance. They also occasionally start wildfires attempting to corral game animals such as bison, wild horses, or reindeer.
Dragons fight over mating rights, and these fights cause massive collateral damage. Most occur in relatively remote areas, but not all of them- Reykjavik hosts a tourist trade in watching dragons fight northeast of the city.
Finally, as every part of a dragon's body is extremely valuable, there are a few hundred very brave individuals who die every year trying to kill one and sell its parts. This is not seen as much of a tragedy except by their families or anyone who sold them life insurance, and is generally avoidable by the simple medium of not getting into a fight with something that can prey on a fully grown African elephant.

So, NSG, how should society deal with these creatures if they exist?
My opinion is that it's a pretty clear cut exterminate for the vampires. For werewolves, I'd require them to be registered with the police department with a plan in place for the full moon, and pretty severe consequences for any issues. Testing someone should definitely require probable cause, and I'd say that loose transformed werewolves should be shot onsite.
Fairies and dragons are more complicated. In my view governments should attempt a containment strategy where we negotiate with fairy king and queen to try to keep them out of our territory entirely- they're too shifty and alien to let them in under any sort of condition.
As for dragons, I'd pursue a policy of containment. Push them to distant areas, where they won't range into densely populated regions on hunting flights, and make it illegal for the average citizen to interact with or even go near them. Dragons nesting in places like NYC should be killed though, probably by bringing in the military.
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Nakena
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Postby Nakena » Thu Apr 23, 2020 6:03 am


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Postby Samudera Darussalam » Thu Apr 23, 2020 6:05 am

I thought we have komodo dragons already? :p
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Diopolis
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Postby Diopolis » Thu Apr 23, 2020 6:13 am


Probably, yeah. I'd definitely be frightened of a dragon living in my backyard.
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Postby Rojava Free State » Thu Apr 23, 2020 6:29 am

What if aliens attacked us? How would we survive that?

Unlike those creatures which are definitely not real, aliens are probably out there, and it is more likely we would be visited by aliens than attacked by non existent beings. Not super likely but possible, unlike the former creatures we're talking about.
Rojava Free State wrote:Listen yall. I'm only gonna say it once but I want you to remember it. This ain't a world fit for good men. It seems like you gotta be monstrous just to make it. Gotta have a little bit of darkness within you just to survive. You gotta stoop low everyday it seems like. Stoop all the way down to the devil in these times. And then one day you look in the mirror and you realize that you ain't you anymore. You're just another monster, and thanks to your actions, someone else will eventually become as warped and twisted as you. Never forget that the best of us are just the best of a bad lot. Being at the top of a pile of feces doesn't make you anything but shit like the rest. Never forget that.

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Postby Aikoriland » Thu Apr 23, 2020 6:30 am

An army of killer robots is the answer.
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Postby The New California Republic » Thu Apr 23, 2020 6:31 am

Diopolis wrote:25 days out of the lunar cycle, werewolves are normal humans. The three days closest to the full moon however, the power of mumble transforms them into creatures not unlike a rabid bear.

No. You are thinking of werebears. They are different from werewolves.

Care Bears are another creature that is hazardous enough to warrant being added to the list.

Diopolis wrote:
There is no known way to remove the aggression from werewolves in their transformed form, and they are immune to most drugs and poisons, although not to conventional weaponry. As mentioned above, however, they require an amount of killing that's simply ridiculous. If contained securely before the transformation, werewolves will be relatively tame, but still don't get too close to the bars. They're not escape artists, but they are bad tempered and strong enough to overturn SUV's and bite through rebar, so containing them securely is an extreme challenge.

In some werewolf lore the person keeps some level of control over what they do, and thus they can control their behaviour if they choose to. But based on how you are describing them I'm guessing that isn't the line you are going down.

Diopolis wrote:Fairies

Fairies are very real. I often see them in the types of bars that I go to.
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Heloin
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Postby Heloin » Thu Apr 23, 2020 6:31 am

Don't fuck with the fair folk. If you know fairies are in a wood then it's there's.

Rojava Free State wrote:What if aliens attacked us? How would we survive that?

Unlike those creatures which are definitely not real, aliens are probably out there, and it is more likely we would be visited by aliens than attacked by non existent beings. Not super likely but possible, unlike the former creatures we're talking about.

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Postby Diopolis » Thu Apr 23, 2020 6:33 am

Rojava Free State wrote:What if aliens attacked us? How would we survive that?

Depends on the aliens, but the most likely scenario for an alien attack is to start with a relativistic missile bombardment that wipes out all life on earth. We could only survive that by getting off planet in independent exclaves.
Unlike those creatures which are definitely not real, aliens are probably out there, and it is more likely we would be visited by aliens than attacked by non existent beings. Not super likely but possible, unlike the former creatures we're talking about.

Yes, and? I made this thread because worrying about real life threats nonstop is messing with my head.
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Rojava Free State
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Postby Rojava Free State » Thu Apr 23, 2020 6:34 am

Heloin wrote:Don't fuck with the fair folk. If you know fairies are in a wood then it's there's.

Rojava Free State wrote:What if aliens attacked us? How would we survive that?

Unlike those creatures which are definitely not real, aliens are probably out there, and it is more likely we would be visited by aliens than attacked by non existent beings. Not super likely but possible, unlike the former creatures we're talking about.

You're a bundle of fun to day ain't ya.


I just find aliens to be a more exciting prospect. Unless the Vampire we're dealing with is Dio Brando, in which case lmao.
Rojava Free State wrote:Listen yall. I'm only gonna say it once but I want you to remember it. This ain't a world fit for good men. It seems like you gotta be monstrous just to make it. Gotta have a little bit of darkness within you just to survive. You gotta stoop low everyday it seems like. Stoop all the way down to the devil in these times. And then one day you look in the mirror and you realize that you ain't you anymore. You're just another monster, and thanks to your actions, someone else will eventually become as warped and twisted as you. Never forget that the best of us are just the best of a bad lot. Being at the top of a pile of feces doesn't make you anything but shit like the rest. Never forget that.

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Rojava Free State
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Postby Rojava Free State » Thu Apr 23, 2020 6:35 am

Diopolis wrote:
Rojava Free State wrote:What if aliens attacked us? How would we survive that?

Depends on the aliens, but the most likely scenario for an alien attack is to start with a relativistic missile bombardment that wipes out all life on earth. We could only survive that by getting off planet in independent exclaves.
Unlike those creatures which are definitely not real, aliens are probably out there, and it is more likely we would be visited by aliens than attacked by non existent beings. Not super likely but possible, unlike the former creatures we're talking about.

Yes, and? I made this thread because worrying about real life threats nonstop is messing with my head.


True but consider this. The chance of an alien invasion is like 0.1%. 99% because they're too far away and another 0.9% because they probably wouldn't have much of a reason to attack us.
Rojava Free State wrote:Listen yall. I'm only gonna say it once but I want you to remember it. This ain't a world fit for good men. It seems like you gotta be monstrous just to make it. Gotta have a little bit of darkness within you just to survive. You gotta stoop low everyday it seems like. Stoop all the way down to the devil in these times. And then one day you look in the mirror and you realize that you ain't you anymore. You're just another monster, and thanks to your actions, someone else will eventually become as warped and twisted as you. Never forget that the best of us are just the best of a bad lot. Being at the top of a pile of feces doesn't make you anything but shit like the rest. Never forget that.

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Postby Aikoriland » Thu Apr 23, 2020 6:35 am

Rojava Free State wrote:
Heloin wrote:Don't fuck with the fair folk. If you know fairies are in a wood then it's there's.


You're a bundle of fun to day ain't ya.


I just find aliens to be a more exciting prospect. Unless the Vampire we're dealing with is Dio Brando, in which case lmao.


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Postby Diopolis » Thu Apr 23, 2020 6:36 am

The New California Republic wrote:
Diopolis wrote:25 days out of the lunar cycle, werewolves are normal humans. The three days closest to the full moon however, the power of mumble transforms them into creatures not unlike a rabid bear.

No. You are thinking of werebears. They are different from werewolves.

Care Bears are another creature that is hazardous enough to warrant being added to the list.

Diopolis wrote:
There is no known way to remove the aggression from werewolves in their transformed form, and they are immune to most drugs and poisons, although not to conventional weaponry. As mentioned above, however, they require an amount of killing that's simply ridiculous. If contained securely before the transformation, werewolves will be relatively tame, but still don't get too close to the bars. They're not escape artists, but they are bad tempered and strong enough to overturn SUV's and bite through rebar, so containing them securely is an extreme challenge.

In some werewolf lore the person keeps some level of control over what they do, and thus they can control their behaviour if they choose to. But based on how you are describing them I'm guessing that isn't the line you are going down.

No, it's not, and I made them relatively bear like so that they would be more dangerous, but still with lupine characteristics.
Diopolis wrote:Fairies

Fairies are very real. I often see them in the types of bars that I go to.

I don't doubt it.
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Postby Diopolis » Thu Apr 23, 2020 6:37 am

Aikoriland wrote:
Rojava Free State wrote:
I just find aliens to be a more exciting prospect. Unless the Vampire we're dealing with is Dio Brando, in which case lmao.


Bloodthirsty alien killer robots!

Ah, The Killing Star approach.
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Postby Cekoviu » Thu Apr 23, 2020 7:23 am

vampires - get the hot ones to play themselves in shitty teen romance movies, exterminate the rest
werewolves - bomb the moon, problem solved
fairies - cage them and use them to grant wishes
dragons - pets
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Postby Nakena » Thu Apr 23, 2020 7:24 am

What about giant centipedes?

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Postby Valrifell » Thu Apr 23, 2020 7:24 am

The fae are just free wife material, tbh.
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Postby Cekoviu » Thu Apr 23, 2020 7:25 am

Nakena wrote:What about giant centipedes?

yes, bring it back (technically more like millipedes, but w/e)
Last edited by Cekoviu on Thu Apr 23, 2020 7:25 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby Diopolis » Thu Apr 23, 2020 7:25 am

Cekoviu wrote:vampires - get the hot ones to play themselves in shitty teen romance movies, exterminate the rest
werewolves - bomb the moon, problem solved
fairies - cage them and use them to grant wishes
dragons - pets

"Blow up the moon"
I like it. It would also give us rings for the people visiting iceland to watch dragons mating fights to look at in the off season.
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Postby The Holy Mercurian Empire » Thu Apr 23, 2020 7:29 am

Rojava Free State wrote:What if aliens attacked us? How would we survive that?


We wouldn't.

If they were able to come here with enough payload to do any real damage, they could just turn the tail end of their ship at our planet and start burning out cities with their exhaust. The power output of any realistic starship is in the kilotons or megatons per second, depending on size.
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Postby Thermodolia » Thu Apr 23, 2020 7:35 am

What about cryptids? Like Sasquatch and the Jerzy devil.
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Postby Valrifell » Thu Apr 23, 2020 7:36 am

Thermodolia wrote:What about cryptids? Like Sasquatch and the Jerzy devil.


This is a hypothetical, Therm, why are you bringing real things into this?
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Postby The Holy Mercurian Empire » Thu Apr 23, 2020 7:37 am

Diopolis wrote:
The New California Republic wrote:No. You are thinking of werebears. They are different from werewolves.

Care Bears are another creature that is hazardous enough to warrant being added to the list.


In some werewolf lore the person keeps some level of control over what they do, and thus they can control their behaviour if they choose to. But based on how you are describing them I'm guessing that isn't the line you are going down.

No, it's not, and I made them relatively bear like so that they would be more dangerous, but still with lupine characteristics.


So, sort of like an Amphicyonid?

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Postby Aeritai » Thu Apr 23, 2020 7:41 am

If Vampires were real JoJo and Twilight fans would go crazy.
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Postby Thermodolia » Thu Apr 23, 2020 7:44 am

Aeritai wrote:If Vampires were real JoJo and Twilight fans would go crazy.

JoJo?
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