The morality of casual sex

[Kernen]

This unfortunately conflates sexual appetite with partners. A sexually voracious person may not need to have more than a few partners despite their high sex drive. Alternatively, they may flit about. The theory has too many confounding variables to operate even as a rule of thumb.

That is true, but it's also true that someone who has a large numbers of sexual partners is necessarily going to have a high sex drive (note: I am only counting consensual partners, as I do not consider rape or sexual assault to be sex in any emotionally meaningful sense).

I can't agree. There are people who have many partners because their relationships fail for nonsexual reasons. Their sex drive is not particularly high. Indeed, the more partners you have, often the less sex you have compared to people in stable relationships.

If you go around having one night stands, it usually takes you a lot longer to hit the same number of sexual encounters as it does when you have a comfortable and sexually active relationship.

[United Muscovite Nations]

An exponential curve (where the y axis represents sex drive) is not a matter of outliers. It's a matter of thinking that the graph doesn't measure any differences, while also acknowledging that x0 and x10 are plotted in wildly different points.

Whatever man, it's entirely besides the point anyway.

Besides he point of the thread maybe, not besides the point of the question of whether two people are sexually compatible.

[The New California Republic]

Whatever man, it's entirely besides the point anyway.

Besides he point of the thread maybe, not besides the point of the question of whether two people are sexually compatible.

And as has been said, using that raw number is really dubious.

[United Muscovite Nations]

Besides he point of the thread maybe, not besides the point of the question of whether two people are sexually compatible.

And as has been said, using that raw number is really dubious.

Using it alone? Perhaps so, but it's not an entirely useless metric.

[The New California Republic]

And as has been said, using that raw number is really dubious.

Using it alone? Perhaps so, but it's not an entirely useless metric.

Not using that raw number alone would entail prying even further into specifics regarding the person's sexual history...

[Thepeopl]

Whatever man, it's entirely besides the point anyway.

Besides he point of the thread maybe, not besides the point of the question of whether two people are sexually compatible.

The person with high number of sexual activity could have done so for multiple reasons. Boredom, "paying back"/ reward for a nice evening, bucket list, seeing sex as sports, or high sex drive.
The person who hasn't had sex might have a higher sex drive but decided to wait till "the right person" comes along. So you see its equally possible the virgin in this case has a higher sex drive than the "40 sex partner " person.

If you want to be in a relationship you might be willing to never again eat your favourite meal because your partner really cannot stand the smell.
Same with sex. If you truly wish to stay with your partner, you will try to find a workable solution for both.
Like how some will never penetrate because of vaginismus. They find other ways to please eachother.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vaginismus

The fact a person has had many sexual partners doesn't mean they know what you like.

For me sex is not just the penetrating act. But maybe for someone else it is.

[The New California Republic]

On the basis of what we have been discussing, I know what I am about to say is anecdotal evidence, but in the absence of any definitive survey on such a niche subject I am forced to use it. In all my experience, I have never seen a link between the number of sexual partners a person has had and my sexual compatibility with them, male or female. I usually found out the number in the course of random conversations with them, not that I specifically asked about it, as I wouldn't do that. If I were to plot two bar graphs, on the x axis of both graphs are the names in sequence in no particular order of all the partners I've had, and on the y axis of the first graph above each name is the number of sexual partners each have had, and on the y axis of the second above each name is my perceived sexual compatibility with them as a percentage; and we were to overlay them, then the results would be all over the place. There would be no visual link between the two sets of data. Even performing statistical analysis—any statistical analysis test you like—would show there to be no link between the two sets of data.

Sure, if we introduce other factors to the stats such as one of the partners being asexual then yes obviously that would throw up all kinds of peculiarities regarding sexual compatibility, but without those exceptions I really don't see sexual partners as a raw number being as intrinsically linked to sexual compatibility as was originally argued.

[Imperialisium]

Given the age of High Schoolers this is more why Minors shouldn’t be engaging in sex since they likely will have immature impulses.

Many, many, many, adults have immature impulses.

What would actually help, rather than judging those that participate in sexual activity, or saying don't do it at all, is to actually provide comprehensive sex education, explain how things work, explain the risks, and the ways to prevent these risk.

I guess this was a mistake in my phrasing, I was not debating casual sex in that paragraph (although the girl he cheated on his gf with was effectively a "friend with benefits" sort of thing, which I am not even necessarily against -since as I have stated- I am mostly tolerant of relationships regardless of the type, but against crewing around with randos), I was pointing out that stuff like this happens and people just kinda shrugg and say "yeah sure dick move but whatever" and that is, in my eyes at least, a passive endorisement.

Another example that illustrates my position better(I will keep it brief dont worry) would be the "highschool/neighbourhood whores", these were a couple of girls during my high school years who had a quite large amount of sexual partners and it was well-known around school. Long story short, most guys only wanted to have sex with them and then leave and a lot were even disgusted at the thought of sex with them and made jokes about STDs. The prevalent idea at the time was that "to be the boyfriend of such a woman would be to be an idiot since half the neighbourhood knows her intimately" so these girls struggle to find partners despite wanting to, even now, and I see them mildly complaining about this on instagram every once in a while.

I do think the teenage reaction we had to them was slightly immature but I dont think people are being mean or society is unjust because of the way they treat them, they made really stupid choices and are dealing with the consequences of them. Ideally, we would live in a society that would teach them not to make this dumb decision cause they wont like the results and thats exactly what I will teach my daughter, if I ever have one.

Why are the girls dumb for sleeping with alot of boys, but the boys appear to be blameless in your estimation, apart from immature name calling?

Honestly, who cares how many people you have sex with? It could be one, five, or one hundred. Provided you are able to give consent, understand the risks and know the best precautions to take, who cares?

It's called personal responsibility, and keeping your nose out of other peoples business.

Because I say minors are more prone to immature impulse doesn’t mean I’m also excluding adults from having them.

And education has already been stated in the discussion as helpful. Though education does have significant flaws (just look at Africa and 30 years of sexual health campaigns) despite it being helpful it’s not actually as effective as people think.

Example:
What caused STD rates to decline in the 90s? Sex Ed helped but the root cause of that decline?

AIDS. Yeah, come to find out if your life is on the line people tend to shut the hell up and listen. People were so afraid of HIV/AIDS that the 90s saw a spike in condom use that persisted into the mid-00s. Largely, due to the social fear of contracting an incurable disease that, until the late-90s was a literal death sentence.

[Necroghastia]

What possible concern can it be to the person? Hm?

Internal Serenity about the subject. Before I met my woman I was convinced that there wouldnt be a single person on campus who would be a vrigin, so I was fine with someone who had one person or two before me. But I certainly wouldnt go near someone with 4 or more former partners I simply could not make it sit well with me , I personally considered it whorish. Imagine my shock when I discovered that there are women who are virgins at 20 years of age and that most of them do not lose their virginity at 15 neither to classmates of theirs nor to paedophilic 22 year old rapists who are considered "cool" in the neighbourhood.

Personally I think judging an entire demographic on this level is way worse, morally speaking, and a bigger red flag relationship-wise than having had many sexual partners.

[Imperialisium]

Internal Serenity about the subject. Before I met my woman I was convinced that there wouldnt be a single person on campus who would be a vrigin, so I was fine with someone who had one person or two before me. But I certainly wouldnt go near someone with 4 or more former partners I simply could not make it sit well with me , I personally considered it whorish. Imagine my shock when I discovered that there are women who are virgins at 20 years of age and that most of them do not lose their virginity at 15 neither to classmates of theirs nor to paedophilic 22 year old rapists who are considered "cool" in the neighbourhood.

Personally I think judging an entire demographic on this level is way worse, morally speaking, and a bigger red flag relationship-wise than having had many sexual partners.

I agree with Necro.

People have their preferences, sure.

But I see an increasing trend, especially in young men, in internalizing a deep loathing for less than perfect female companionship. Often with exceedingly contrasting if not conflicting adjectives to describe the same woman.

[New haven america]

Raw number says nothing about the nature of the sex. It gives no impression of the context of it.

If one person has 40 sex partners over the course of a few years, and another has no sex partners, that, in no way shape or form, shows any kind of difference in the value they place on sex or about level of sex drive? It's a compatibility issue, mate.

Possibly.

All that shows is that one party has an easier time getting it on than the other.

[Rojava Free State]

If one person has 40 sex partners over the course of a few years, and another has no sex partners, that, in no way shape or form, shows any kind of difference in the value they place on sex or about level of sex drive? It's a compatibility issue, mate.

Possibly.

All that shows is that one party has an easier time getting it on than the other.

How hot is this girl (or guy) that they got 40 sex partners in like three years?

[Stagnant Axon Terminal]

Possibly.

All that shows is that one party has an easier time getting it on than the other.

How hot is this girl (or guy) that they got 40 sex partners in like three years?

Idk I'm pretty hot

[The Alma Mater]

Possibly.

All that shows is that one party has an easier time getting it on than the other.

How hot is this girl (or guy) that they got 40 sex partners in like three years?

Hotter than the woman in the new gameshow "Labor of Love"; who will pick the daddy of her baby-to-make out of 15 candidates.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DIT3J75 ... e=emb_logo

[Thepeopl]

Possibly.

All that shows is that one party has an easier time getting it on than the other.

How hot is this girl (or guy) that they got 40 sex partners in like three years?

Just visit a few different swingers clubs... easy peasy.

[Grand Hellenic Republic]

Personally I think judging an entire demographic on this level is way worse, morally speaking, and a bigger red flag relationship-wise than having had many sexual partners.

That is not a judgement, if you are referring to the last 2 paragraphs, those were typed in a rather facetious manner. Also I was speaking from an emotional place of not being able to be comfortable with a person who had many partners, I find it kind of wrong of you to call me immoral or imply that I am a red-flag person because I have different preferences, if that was what you were referring to. I can understand making mistakes or discovering incompatibility and uncompromisable issues later on in a relationship and needing to break it off, but for someone my age to have 5+ sexual partners, not because things didnt work out, but because they wanted them all and to view that act as not only fine but even liberating, is such an incompatible worldview to mine that it cannot be reconciled. I see no reason for someone in my age group (18 - 28) to have close to 20 sexual partners, like where did they even find the time?

[New haven america]

Personally I think judging an entire demographic on this level is way worse, morally speaking, and a bigger red flag relationship-wise than having had many sexual partners.

That is not a judgement, if you are referring to the last 2 paragraphs, those were typed in a rather facetious manner. Also I was speaking from an emotional place of not being able to be comfortable with a person who had many partners, I find it kind of wrong of you to call me immoral or imply that I am a red-flag person because I have different preferences, if that was what you were referring to. I can understand making mistakes or discovering incompatibility and uncompromisable issues later on in a relationship and needing to break it off, but for someone my age to have 5+ sexual partners, not because things didnt work out, but because they wanted them all and to view that act as not only fine but even liberating, is such an incompatible worldview to mine that it cannot be reconciled. I see no reason for someone in my age group (18 - 28) to have close to 20 sexual partners, like where did they even find the time?

A quickie only takes like 3 minutes dude.

[The Grims]

That is not a judgement, if you are referring to the last 2 paragraphs, those were typed in a rather facetious manner. Also I was speaking from an emotional place of not being able to be comfortable with a person who had many partners, I find it kind of wrong of you to call me immoral or imply that I am a red-flag person because I have different preferences, if that was what you were referring to. I can understand making mistakes or discovering incompatibility and uncompromisable issues later on in a relationship and needing to break it off, but for someone my age to have 5+ sexual partners, not because things didnt work out, but because they wanted them all and to view that act as not only fine but even liberating, is such an incompatible worldview to mine that it cannot be reconciled. I see no reason for someone in my age group (18 - 28) to have close to 20 sexual partners, like where did they even find the time?

A quickie only takes like 3 minutes dude.

It does? I have never managed to make a woman orgasm that fast.Teach me your secret !

[New haven america]

A quickie only takes like 3 minutes dude.

It does? I have never managed to make a woman orgasm that fast.Teach me your secret !

lol, seriously wrong person to ask mi amigo.

[Grand Hellenic Republic]

I agree with Necro.

People have their preferences, sure.

But I see an increasing trend, especially in young men, in internalizing a deep loathing for less than perfect female companionship. Often with exceedingly contrasting if not conflicting adjectives to describe the same woman.

I see the same trend. I would agree that there is a problem and it has to do, in my opinion, with the larger amounts of young men who dont even attempt to interact with women on a romantic, let alone friendly, level, for whatever reason, and through lack of socialization they end up with highly unrealistic standards. I think if someone cannot even accept the idea that their partner might have liked other men or been with others or even done sexual acts before them with others, then they do have a serious issue they need to resolve in their heads. I also believe, though, that dating someone who has had like 10+ sexual partners before the age of 25 and not caring in the slightest is the opposite extreme.

[Thepeopl]

-snip-I can understand making mistakes or discovering incompatibility and uncompromisable issues later on in a relationship and needing to break it off, but for someone my age to have 5+ sexual partners, not because things didnt work out, but because they wanted them all and to view that act as not only fine but even liberating, is such an incompatible worldview to mine that it cannot be reconciled. I see no reason for someone in my age group (18 - 28) to have close to 20 sexual partners, like where did they even find the time?

Sexual partners =/= romantic relationship.

Casual sex is not about getting married.

You obviously are not interested in casual sex. And that is totally ok.
But there are people who don't want a marriage but do like sex. For whom "having sex" doesn't mean "life long bond", but more like " eating crisps together" it's fun, its relaxing and that's it.

I ask my sexual partners what they like, what they have tried and what they would like to experiment with.
Whether they have done this with none or with 100 I don't care.

[Rojava Free State]

That is not a judgement, if you are referring to the last 2 paragraphs, those were typed in a rather facetious manner. Also I was speaking from an emotional place of not being able to be comfortable with a person who had many partners, I find it kind of wrong of you to call me immoral or imply that I am a red-flag person because I have different preferences, if that was what you were referring to. I can understand making mistakes or discovering incompatibility and uncompromisable issues later on in a relationship and needing to break it off, but for someone my age to have 5+ sexual partners, not because things didnt work out, but because they wanted them all and to view that act as not only fine but even liberating, is such an incompatible worldview to mine that it cannot be reconciled. I see no reason for someone in my age group (18 - 28) to have close to 20 sexual partners, like where did they even find the time?

A quickie only takes like 3 minutes dude.

What if it takes you longer?

[Nobel Hobos 2]

A quickie only takes like 3 minutes dude.

What if it takes you longer?

That would be a quick-ish-y then.

[Right Wing Meme Squad]

I myself don't engage in casual sex and never had such a kind of happening, but I'm fine with it. I don't desire it myself because I think sex outside of marriage is not really ideal, both from my own logic and because of my religion.

The reason I would not encourage it is that it can lead to pregnancy even with the precautions, nevertheless it's up to the people themself.

[The Alma Mater]

I myself don't engage in casual sex and never had such a kind of happening, but I'm fine with it. I don't desire it myself because I think sex outside of marriage is not really ideal, both from my own logic and because of my religion.

The reason I would not encourage it is that it can lead to pregnancy even with the precautions, nevertheless it's up to the people themself.

What's your opinion on casual sex between couples where pregnancy is impossible ? (e.g. gay, lesbian, infertile etc)