RWDT XX: The System Is Kapp Putsch

[Novus America]

Too repetitive. Some steps should include but not be limited to circus animals choosing plus competing in Japanese style game shows wearing clown suits.

We make things to figurative. If politics is a circus why not have a literal circus?

I've got it!
We use my system to pick a dog, who is placed in the middle of a circular chamber. The top 20 candidates according to a complex metric that includes money raised, number of former presidents one is related to, percent of public approval, and number of states one would win are evenly spaced around it, and whichever one the dog runs to first is our new president.

But no candidates are actually harmed in this process, sad.

Now maybe if it is an attack dog, and whoever gets bitten first we have something going.

This is why Japanese style game shows should be involved.

Actually the attack dog has real promise. It requires our candidates show real courage an fortitude as avoiding being mauled means you lose. First candidate lightly mauled wins.

[Italios]

diop - Danny masterson
TEM - sam eliot
cekoviu - Chelsea peretti
Bienehelde - neil patrick harris
bear sterns - armie hammer
fahran - mila kunis
questers - Steven yeun
cisaire - matt damon
Novus America - bradley Cooper
kowani - alex wolff
Salus major - Logan lermann
south oderia - ensemble cast
Napkiraly - Ryan gosling
sundiata - jude law
nakena - ??
luminesa - kiernan shipka

CRITICAL EDIT: UMN - tom hardy / zach galifianakis / john krasinski

[The Marlborough]

I'm not actually interested in making the next thread but this is one minute Photomosh fuckery.

[Questarian New Yorkshire]

if cek is gina, then south oderia is boyle, obviously

[Diopolis]

I've got it!
We use my system to pick a dog, who is placed in the middle of a circular chamber. The top 20 candidates according to a complex metric that includes money raised, number of former presidents one is related to, percent of public approval, and number of states one would win are evenly spaced around it, and whichever one the dog runs to first is our new president.

But no candidates are actually harmed in this process, sad.

Now maybe if it is an attack dog, and whoever gets bitten first we have something going.

This is why Japanese style game shows should be involved.

Dip the candidates identical white robes in bacon grease, and starve the dog ahead of time.

[Diopolis]

diop - Danny masterson
TEM - sam eliot
cekoviu - Chelsea peretti
Bienehelde - neil patrick harris
bear sterns - armie hammer
fahran - mila kunis
questers - Steven yeun
cisaire - matt damon
Novus America - bradley Cooper
kowani - alex wolff
Salus major - Logan lermann
south oderia - ensemble cast
Napkiraly - Ryan gosling
sundiata - jude law
nakena - ??
luminesa - kiernan shipka

Who are all of these people?
Kindly explain for the benefit of your local underside of a rock dwellers.

[Cekoviu]

diop - Danny masterson
TEM - sam eliot
cekoviu - Chelsea peretti
Bienehelde - neil patrick harris
bear sterns - armie hammer
fahran - mila kunis
questers - Steven yeun
cisaire - matt damon
Novus America - bradley Cooper
kowani - alex wolff
Salus major - Logan lermann
south oderia - ensemble cast
Napkiraly - Ryan gosling
sundiata - jude law
nakena - ??
luminesa - kiernan shipka

wow, you absolutely nailed these, especially me and diop

[Novus America]

But no candidates are actually harmed in this process, sad.

Now maybe if it is an attack dog, and whoever gets bitten first we have something going.

This is why Japanese style game shows should be involved.

Dip the candidates identical white robes in bacon grease, and starve the dog ahead of time.

Now you are cooking with bacon grease!
I can dig it.

[Cekoviu]

if cek is gina, then south oderia is boyle, obviously

+ umn is boyle's cousin milton, diop is the disco strangler, and questers is peralta prob

[The Marlborough]

if cek is gina, then south oderia is boyle, obviously

+ umn is boyle's cousin milton, diop is the disco strangler, and questers is peralta prob

Drink a full keg of water please.

[Kowani]

diop - Danny masterson
TEM - sam eliot
cekoviu - Chelsea peretti
Bienehelde - neil patrick harris
bear sterns - armie hammer
fahran - mila kunis
questers - Steven yeun
cisaire - matt damon
Novus America - bradley Cooper
kowani - alex wolff
Salus major - Logan lermann
south oderia - ensemble cast
Napkiraly - Ryan gosling
sundiata - jude law
nakena - ??
luminesa - kiernan shipka

CRITICAL EDIT: UMN - tom hardy / zach galifianakis / john krasinski

I have no clue who these people are.
I know like, 2.

[Cekoviu]

oh also yes umn is totally zach galifianakis, there's a massive resemblance

diop - Danny masterson
TEM - sam eliot
cekoviu - Chelsea peretti
Bienehelde - neil patrick harris
bear sterns - armie hammer
fahran - mila kunis
questers - Steven yeun
cisaire - matt damon
Novus America - bradley Cooper
kowani - alex wolff
Salus major - Logan lermann
south oderia - ensemble cast
Napkiraly - Ryan gosling
sundiata - jude law
nakena - ??
luminesa - kiernan shipka

CRITICAL EDIT: UMN - tom hardy / zach galifianakis / john krasinski

I have no clue who these people are.
I know like, 2.

google exists you know

[Kowani]

oh also yes umn is totally zach galifianakis, there's a massive resemblance

I have no clue who these people are.
I know like, 2.

google exists you know

Yes, but googling them tells me nothing about why each poster was selected to be them.
I got an actor. I assume the rest are actors, based on the ones I know.
I know nothing about their personality or outlook.

[Questarian New Yorkshire]

is this a cast for the rwdt film

[Diopolis]

oh also yes umn is totally zach galifianakis, there's a massive resemblance

google exists you know

Yes, but googling them tells me nothing about why each poster was selected to be them.
I got an actor. I assume the rest are actors, based on the ones I know.
I know nothing about their personality or outlook.

Join me underneath the rock! We have figs and butter churning.

[Luminesa]

diop - Danny masterson
TEM - sam eliot
cekoviu - Chelsea peretti
Bienehelde - neil patrick harris
bear sterns - armie hammer
fahran - mila kunis
questers - Steven yeun
cisaire - matt damon
Novus America - bradley Cooper
kowani - alex wolff
Salus major - Logan lermann
south oderia - ensemble cast
Napkiraly - Ryan gosling
sundiata - jude law
nakena - ??
luminesa - kiernan shipka

CRITICAL EDIT: UMN - tom hardy / zach galifianakis / john krasinski

Considering what's just come up about Danny Masterson, I'd say that's pretty damning at Dio.

[The Archbishopric of York]

is this a cast for the rwdt film

Any such film would have to be made using Spitting Image-style puppets, in order to convey the sheer absurdity of what goes on in here.

[Italios]

oh also yes umn is totally zach galifianakis, there's a massive resemblance

google exists you know

Yes, but googling them tells me nothing about why each poster was selected to be them.
I got an actor. I assume the rest are actors, based on the ones I know.
I know nothing about their personality or outlook.

alex wolff is a young male (like yourself) actor, best known for playing peter in hereditary. throughout the movie, peter often struggles with social interactions, much like yourself right now.

bruh, it's a joke and fun thought exercise, don't overthink it

[Kowani]

Yes, but googling them tells me nothing about why each poster was selected to be them.
I got an actor. I assume the rest are actors, based on the ones I know.
I know nothing about their personality or outlook.

Join me underneath the rock! We have figs and butter churning.

No.

I despise figs.

[Novus America]

is this a cast for the rwdt film

Yes! Although it probably would need to be rated R for violence and language.

[Diopolis]

Join me underneath the rock! We have figs and butter churning.

No.

I despise figs.

Well the blackberries aren't quite ripe yet and the peaches are past due, so there's not much else to be done. You could drink buttermilk though.

[Luminesa]

is this a cast for the rwdt film

Any such film would have to be made using Spitting Image-style puppets, in order to convey the sheer absurdity of what goes on in here.

Wrong, it needs to be in late-80's anime style.

[Cekoviu]

oh also yes umn is totally zach galifianakis, there's a massive resemblance

google exists you know

Yes, but googling them tells me nothing about why each poster was selected to be them.
I got an actor. I assume the rest are actors, based on the ones I know.
I know nothing about their personality or outlook.

here's a few of my - fairly superficial - guesses as to why:
diop - danny masterson (recently charged with rape)
tem - sam elliott (they have similar voices, same age)
me - chelsea peretti (plays gina on brooklyn nine-nine, who has a similar personality to me and has a vaguely similar voice)
bien - neil patrick harris (he's gay, not sure what else)
bear stearns - armie hammer (descended from an oil tycoon and is super bourgeois, generic straight white man)
fahran - mila kunis (jewish brunette)
questers - steven yeun (looks similar)

[Questarian New Yorkshire]

cursed

[Cekoviu]

is this a cast for the rwdt film

we can probably get most of those actors with swaglord and bear stearns's hoard of money, let's do it