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The NSG Bulwer-Lytton Competition II: The Winner!

For discussion and debate about anything. (Not a roleplay related forum; out-of-character commentary only.)

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Choose your favourite NSG Bulwer-Lytton Competition entry:

Poll ended at Sun Apr 12, 2020 7:12 am

Dumb Ideologies 1
3
9%
Dumb Ideologies 2
6
18%
Piraccas
1
3%
Cannot think of a name
10
29%
Hurdergaryp
5
15%
Bombadil
2
6%
Forsher
3
9%
Czechostan
1
3%
An Alan Smithee Nation
1
3%
Pax Nerdvana
2
6%
 
Total votes : 34

User avatar
Bombadil
Postmaster-General
 
Posts: 13749
Founded: Oct 13, 2011
Left-Leaning College State

Postby Bombadil » Wed Apr 01, 2020 6:17 pm

Alone in his room, staring at the blinking screen of his laptop, Tarsonis scrunched his brain as hard as he could, 'think man, think!', he thought before coming to the sad conclusion of a long and lonely day, 'I'm realizing train puns are actually hard to come up with'.

Inspired by..
Last edited by Bombadil on Wed Apr 01, 2020 6:18 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Eldest, that's what I am...Tom remembers the first raindrop and the first acorn...he knew the dark under the stars when it was fearless — before the Dark Lord came from Outside..

十年

User avatar
Ethel mermania
Post Kaiser
 
Posts: 104986
Founded: Aug 20, 2010
Father Knows Best State

Postby Ethel mermania » Wed Apr 01, 2020 6:35 pm

Eldest, that's what I am...Tom remembers the first raindrop and the first acorn...he knew the dark under the stars when it was fearless — before the Dark Lord came from Outside..



Plagiarize, that is why god made your eyes, but please never forget to call it research.
The West won the world not by the superiority of its ideas or values or religion … but rather by its superiority in applying organized violence. Westerners often forget this fact; non-Westerners never do.

http://www.salientpartners.com/epsilont ... ilizations

User avatar
Italios
Post Marshal
 
Posts: 17468
Founded: Dec 19, 2014
Left-wing Utopia

Postby Italios » Wed Apr 01, 2020 6:47 pm

Ethel mermania wrote:Eldest, that's what I am...Tom remembers the first raindrop and the first acorn...he knew the dark under the stars when it was fearless — before the Dark Lord came from Outside..



Plagiarize, that is why god made your eyes, but please never forget to call it research.

duuuuude please stop posting, you gotta leave the rest of us a chance of winning.

gotta redeem myself, so: "It was a Wednesday evening, and Ethel was pantsless as usual."
socialist ☭ pro-enosis ☦︎ dsaz member ♥ free literature
"individualism, at first, only saps the virtues of public life; but in the long run it attacks and destroys all others and is at length absorbed in selfishness." -alexis de tocqueville

User avatar
Thermodolia
Khan of Spam
 
Posts: 58754
Founded: Oct 07, 2011
Civil Rights Lovefest

Postby Thermodolia » Wed Apr 01, 2020 6:50 pm

Italios wrote:
Ethel mermania wrote:Eldest, that's what I am...Tom remembers the first raindrop and the first acorn...he knew the dark under the stars when it was fearless — before the Dark Lord came from Outside..



Plagiarize, that is why god made your eyes, but please never forget to call it research.

duuuuude please stop posting, you gotta leave the rest of us a chance of winning.

gotta redeem myself, so: "It was a Wednesday evening, and Ethel was pantsless as usual."

The missus was angered over the incorrect placement of the milk (the pantsless Ethel helped the milk into its predicament) in the refrigeration unit
Male, Titoist cultural nationalist, lives somewhere in the Deep South, give me any good Irish, Canadian, or Scottish whiskey and I will be your friend for life. I'm GAY!
I'm agent #69 in the Gaystapo!
>The Sons of Adam: I'd crown myself monarch... cuz why not?
>>Dumb Ideologies: Why not turn yourself into a penguin and build an igloo at the centre of the Earth?
>Xovland: I keep getting ads for printer ink. Sometimes, when you get that feeling down there, you have to look at some steamy printer pictures.
Click for Da Funies
Click Here for RP Info Embassy Program
Ambassadors to the WA:
Ambassador to the GA Jon Æthr
Ambassador to the SC Eve Šanœ

RIP Dya

User avatar
Nanatsu no Tsuki
Post Overlord
 
Posts: 192702
Founded: Feb 10, 2008
Inoffensive Centrist Democracy

Postby Nanatsu no Tsuki » Wed Apr 01, 2020 6:51 pm

Italios wrote:
Ethel mermania wrote:Eldest, that's what I am...Tom remembers the first raindrop and the first acorn...he knew the dark under the stars when it was fearless — before the Dark Lord came from Outside..



Plagiarize, that is why god made your eyes, but please never forget to call it research.

duuuuude please stop posting, you gotta leave the rest of us a chance of winning.

gotta redeem myself, so: "It was a Wednesday evening, and Ethel was pantsless as usual."


Annoyed, Mrs. Mermania looked on, wondering why he insists on this behavior; yes, his gams were great but age and gravity have take their toll...
Code name: Ratatouille Strychnine
Also: THERNSY!!
Your story isn't over;֍Help save transgender people's lives֍Help for feral cats
Cat with internet access||Heartless, ''transgendered non-binary kawaii Chan'', & a d*ck.||No TGs
RIP: Dyakovo & Ashmoria

User avatar
Ethel mermania
Post Kaiser
 
Posts: 104986
Founded: Aug 20, 2010
Father Knows Best State

Postby Ethel mermania » Wed Apr 01, 2020 6:53 pm

Nanatsu no Tsuki wrote:
Italios wrote:duuuuude please stop posting, you gotta leave the rest of us a chance of winning.

gotta redeem myself, so: "It was a Wednesday evening, and Ethel was pantsless as usual."


Annoyed, Mrs. Mermania looked on, wondering why he insists on this behavior; yes, his gams were great but age and gravity have take their toll...


I thought the ides of march was a couple weeks ago.
The West won the world not by the superiority of its ideas or values or religion … but rather by its superiority in applying organized violence. Westerners often forget this fact; non-Westerners never do.

http://www.salientpartners.com/epsilont ... ilizations

User avatar
Farnhamia
Game Moderator
 
Posts: 105579
Founded: Jun 20, 2006
Inoffensive Centrist Democracy

Postby Farnhamia » Wed Apr 01, 2020 7:07 pm

Ethel mermania wrote:
Nanatsu no Tsuki wrote:
Annoyed, Mrs. Mermania looked on, wondering why he insists on this behavior; yes, his gams were great but age and gravity have take their toll...


I thought the ides of march was a couple weeks ago.

It was. The 15th in March, May, July, and October, the 13th in all other months.
Wash Your Damned Hands!

Freedom ... or cake. ~ Ashmoria (RIP)
Make Earth Great Again: Stop Continental Drift!
And Jesus was a sailor when he walked upon the water ...
"Make yourself at home, Frank. Hit somebody." RIP Don Rickles
My country, right or wrong; if right, to be kept right; and if wrong, to be set right. ~ Carl Schurz
<Sigh> NSG...where even the atheists are Augustinians. ~ The Archregimancy
Now the foot is on the other hand ~ Kannap
RIP Dyakovo

User avatar
Cekoviu
Post Marshal
 
Posts: 16094
Founded: Oct 18, 2017
Civil Rights Lovefest

Postby Cekoviu » Wed Apr 01, 2020 7:17 pm

As morning church bells rang in the distance, Logan Paul gazed in wonderment upon his barely-awake bedmate's supple form, entranced by her hirsute, yet inescapably feminine, breasts and the cold clarity of her slightly curled tarsal claws -- he knew not what fate was about to befall them as a fleet of cubic black vessels invisibly descended from the heavens.
RWDT - REST IN POWER
Market socialist, David Hume fangirl, and massive Tuvaboo. Moderate SWERF & traditionalist SJW. Non-denominational Christian, influenced by Orthodoxy and certain Protestant currents.
/tʃɛ'koʊ.vi:.ju:/ (check-OH-vee-you)

User avatar
Piraccas
Civil Servant
 
Posts: 8
Founded: Mar 18, 2020
Ex-Nation

Postby Piraccas » Wed Apr 01, 2020 7:32 pm

We are creatures in tune with vibration: music, violent motions of the Earth, touches serene and ardent; it is these vibrations that massage the essence of our beings into peace- we shake things off- so it is these harmonic and physical oscillations that lead me to so very firmly believe that there is great healing power in twerking.

User avatar
Piraccas
Civil Servant
 
Posts: 8
Founded: Mar 18, 2020
Ex-Nation

Postby Piraccas » Wed Apr 01, 2020 7:43 pm

My name is Lucius Birkenfeldt Ee'ii'ikki-i'pompom'poodles'willywilly'whiskers Marion Ulysses Mix Ingredients Thoroughly Noah I Don't Care What Its Name Is The Nurse Can Name It For All I Care Quintavius Kareem Jeremy Danger Sørrenson IV, and this is the story of how I lost my virginity twice.

User avatar
Andsed
Powerbroker
 
Posts: 8919
Founded: Aug 24, 2017
Civil Rights Lovefest

Postby Andsed » Wed Apr 01, 2020 7:45 pm

I touched the orb of godly essence and felt it fill my body sensually massaging it as I was given all the knowledge in the universe overflowing my head with countless things, but one thought broke through the tangled mess of dreams and reality, one echoing thought felt everywhere as I screamed, ¨WHY IS THERE SO MUCH PORN!?!?!?
Last edited by Andsed on Wed Apr 01, 2020 8:05 pm, edited 2 times in total.
Hello I am Andsed welcome to my sig.


Amazing Andsed quotes:
Ok lets get back on topic so we don´t get this thread locked thanks to talking about my church windmill dancing.
Andsed is not legally responsible for any injuries that may occur if you take this seriously and somehow get a trebuchet and try to fling yourself into a plane. You fucking dumbass
NationStates going from serious debates about homosexuality to jokes about Jesus a marijuana dealer in the span of one to two posts since November 13 2002.
Sorry my mind is always in the gutter no it lives in gutter my mind is fuckin called pennywise it is in the gutter so much.
How does one outsource racism? Do you like get an Indian guy to call people and call them racial slurs?

LOVEWHOYOUARE~

User avatar
Rojava Free State
Post Marshal
 
Posts: 18831
Founded: Feb 06, 2018
Left-Leaning College State

Postby Rojava Free State » Wed Apr 01, 2020 7:55 pm

Hanoi Rocks rocked your mom hard, and they're like 50 something and no one even knows who they are so it's even worse.
political compass:

Economic Left/Right: -0.38
Social Libertarian/Authoritarian: -5.38
pro: marijuana, gun rights, private property

anti: fascism, communism, islamism, sexism, pan africanism, La raza, Warren Police Department (and most of the other police departments of metro Detroit except for Auburn Hills. They're aight), gun control, trump, obama, bush, clinton, reagan, carter, chipotle and snotty in crowd teens. Ugh I can't deal with them
Hurdergaryp wrote:Humanity keeps seeing itself as the crown of creation, but to this world we're a crown of thorns at best.


Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/invites/conta ... ent=82zr2h

User avatar
Piraccas
Civil Servant
 
Posts: 8
Founded: Mar 18, 2020
Ex-Nation

Postby Piraccas » Wed Apr 01, 2020 7:59 pm

Scent of flames,
(humid parakeets)
sanguine defenestration, giant's tantrum;
the scene unfolded slowly like a reverse paper origami crane of death,

(not their baby, they're childless even though they went at it like rabbits- is that weasel fur?)

I held my

off


breath, fear
stalking
forwards
in

until I saw that

the art installation

e.
was not
in fact

an hurricane's wreckage, and my boss' idea of a softball review for a rookie was waaaaaaaaay

ba
s

User avatar
Piraccas
Civil Servant
 
Posts: 8
Founded: Mar 18, 2020
Ex-Nation

Postby Piraccas » Wed Apr 01, 2020 8:04 pm

Keeping a family tree straight is an art akin to bonsai.

User avatar
Piraccas
Civil Servant
 
Posts: 8
Founded: Mar 18, 2020
Ex-Nation

Postby Piraccas » Wed Apr 01, 2020 8:17 pm

((last one))

It had been a laborious and superfluously diluted stretch of time(seeming to expand as time is wont to do when one finds oneself under great tribulations and stress), meticulously oblivious and masochistic as pressure internal and external mounted; it had long been spoken of in prophecy, instilling a sense of duty and imparting a glimmering pearl of relief that was tantalizingly elusive, and metaphorically speaking it was firmly in hand as Xixiawe Ququxan dropped trou and prepared to unleash the fart that would bring an age of the world to its end, dawg.

User avatar
An Alan Smithee Nation
Negotiator
 
Posts: 5216
Founded: Apr 18, 2018
New York Times Democracy

Postby An Alan Smithee Nation » Thu Apr 02, 2020 12:09 am

The chances of anything coming from Mar-a-Lago are a million to one, he said.

User avatar
Forsher
Post Marshal
 
Posts: 17167
Founded: Jan 30, 2012
Liberal Democratic Socialists

Postby Forsher » Thu Apr 02, 2020 12:20 am

Frederina approach the table with the caution born of years of wonder and confusion; what mysterious force had compelled the object of her affections to frequent the dry, cracked paint and scuffed, muddy grass of the surrounding courtyard as a matter of course in those earlier, halcyon, years, those fantastic days and storied weeks that preceded that sudden, anti-climactic and unspoken abandonment of the concrete mushroom?
That it Could be What it Is, Is What it Is

Stop making shit up, though. Links, or it's a God-damn lie and you know it.

The normie life is heteronormie

User avatar
Cannot think of a name
Post Czar
 
Posts: 30559
Founded: Antiquity
Civil Rights Lovefest

Postby Cannot think of a name » Thu Apr 02, 2020 12:34 am

The wind slapped her face like she was a bass guitar in funk band.
Everything for the cat.

User avatar
Shamhnan Insir
Minister
 
Posts: 2493
Founded: Jul 08, 2013
Father Knows Best State

Postby Shamhnan Insir » Thu Apr 02, 2020 5:55 am

The writers block has settled in and did not appear to want to budge unlike the bottle of Mortlach 16 y.o which had tipped and now slowly poured its golden soul across the table.
Call me Sham

-"Governments may think and say as they like, but force cannot be eliminated, and it is the only real and unanswerable power. We are told that the pen is mightier than the sword, but I know which of these weapons I would choose." Sir Adrian Paul Ghislain Carton de Wiart VC, KBE, CB, CMG, DSO.

Nationalism is an infantile disease, it is the measles of humanity.
Darwinish Brentsylvania wrote:Shamhnan Insir started this wonderful tranquility, ALL PRAISE THE SHEPHERD KING

User avatar
The Archregimancy
Game Moderator
 
Posts: 24531
Founded: Aug 01, 2005
Democratic Socialists

Postby The Archregimancy » Thu Apr 02, 2020 6:29 am

Shamhnan Insir wrote:The writers block has settled in and did not appear to want to budge unlike the bottle of Mortlach 16 y.o which had tipped and now slowly poured its golden soul across the table.


I am as immune to sentences about whisky as I am to kittens.

My heart is hardened to all forms of bribery, whether subtle or overt; indeed, I have no heart - only a small, cold pebble of inert stone where my heart used to be.

User avatar
Ethel mermania
Post Kaiser
 
Posts: 104986
Founded: Aug 20, 2010
Father Knows Best State

Postby Ethel mermania » Thu Apr 02, 2020 6:46 am

The Archregimancy wrote:
Shamhnan Insir wrote:The writers block has settled in and did not appear to want to budge unlike the bottle of Mortlach 16 y.o which had tipped and now slowly poured its golden soul across the table.


I am as immune to sentences about whisky as I am to kittens.

My heart is hardened to all forms of bribery, whether subtle or overt; indeed, I have no heart - only a small, cold pebble of inert stone where my heart used to be.



MOM! I have missed you so.
The West won the world not by the superiority of its ideas or values or religion … but rather by its superiority in applying organized violence. Westerners often forget this fact; non-Westerners never do.

http://www.salientpartners.com/epsilont ... ilizations

User avatar
Andsed
Powerbroker
 
Posts: 8919
Founded: Aug 24, 2017
Civil Rights Lovefest

Postby Andsed » Thu Apr 02, 2020 6:47 am

The Archregimancy wrote:
Shamhnan Insir wrote:The writers block has settled in and did not appear to want to budge unlike the bottle of Mortlach 16 y.o which had tipped and now slowly poured its golden soul across the table.


I am as immune to sentences about whisky as I am to kittens.

My heart is hardened to all forms of bribery, whether subtle or overt; indeed, I have no heart - only a small, cold pebble of inert stone where my heart used to be.

The Archaeologist claimed to have a heart of stone, a pickaxe was clearly needed.
Hello I am Andsed welcome to my sig.


Amazing Andsed quotes:
Ok lets get back on topic so we don´t get this thread locked thanks to talking about my church windmill dancing.
Andsed is not legally responsible for any injuries that may occur if you take this seriously and somehow get a trebuchet and try to fling yourself into a plane. You fucking dumbass
NationStates going from serious debates about homosexuality to jokes about Jesus a marijuana dealer in the span of one to two posts since November 13 2002.
Sorry my mind is always in the gutter no it lives in gutter my mind is fuckin called pennywise it is in the gutter so much.
How does one outsource racism? Do you like get an Indian guy to call people and call them racial slurs?

LOVEWHOYOUARE~

User avatar
The Free Joy State
Senior Issues Editor
 
Posts: 11908
Founded: Jan 05, 2014
Iron Fist Consumerists

Postby The Free Joy State » Thu Apr 02, 2020 6:53 am

Andsed wrote:
The Archregimancy wrote:
I am as immune to sentences about whisky as I am to kittens.

My heart is hardened to all forms of bribery, whether subtle or overt; indeed, I have no heart - only a small, cold pebble of inert stone where my heart used to be.

The Archaeologist claimed to have a heart of stone, a pickaxe was clearly needed.

You'd bring a weapon into our nice thread and take aim at a heart? What dastardly deeds are afoot here? Endeavouring to engineer the Bulwer-Lytton bout with bursts of brutality?

Be assured my wary eye is upon you, Andsed. :p
Last edited by The Free Joy State on Thu Apr 02, 2020 6:55 am, edited 2 times in total.
"If there's a book that you want to read, but it hasn't been written yet, then you must write it." - Toni Morrison

My nation does not represent my beliefs or politics.

User avatar
Rojava Free State
Post Marshal
 
Posts: 18831
Founded: Feb 06, 2018
Left-Leaning College State

Postby Rojava Free State » Thu Apr 02, 2020 7:24 am

Dad came back from the store with some milk today...after heading out there 15 years ago.
political compass:

Economic Left/Right: -0.38
Social Libertarian/Authoritarian: -5.38
pro: marijuana, gun rights, private property

anti: fascism, communism, islamism, sexism, pan africanism, La raza, Warren Police Department (and most of the other police departments of metro Detroit except for Auburn Hills. They're aight), gun control, trump, obama, bush, clinton, reagan, carter, chipotle and snotty in crowd teens. Ugh I can't deal with them
Hurdergaryp wrote:Humanity keeps seeing itself as the crown of creation, but to this world we're a crown of thorns at best.


Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/invites/conta ... ent=82zr2h

User avatar
Valentine Z
Powerbroker
 
Posts: 7833
Founded: Nov 08, 2015
Scandinavian Liberal Paradise

Postby Valentine Z » Thu Apr 02, 2020 7:27 am

I heard a small thud while I was studying alone and listening to some guy on YouTube, which I thought it was from the video and so I rewind a few seconds back; the thud wasn't from the video.
Last edited by Valentine Z on Thu Apr 02, 2020 7:27 am, edited 1 time in total.



Valentine Z GIF Flag (Improved!)
The Valentine Z CV.
NationStates 1st Flag Bracket - 1st place!
Issues Thread 4th in Gen Sec

The Sixty! Opinions Deposit! Valentian Stories! Gwen's Adventures! Cat Anthem! Valentian News.
If you are reading my sig, I want you to have the best day ever ! You are worth it, do not let anyone get you down !
Glory to De Geweldige Sierlijke Katachtige Utopia en Zijne Autonome Machten ov Valentine Z !
Q & A Here! | Heights of NS! | F7 Etiquette

Clarissa mistaken for Smurf/Avatar: 10
Valentijn called She: 38
Disappointing F7 Responses: 225

• Eat my freaking tranquility. - Zenyatta
• Never trouble trouble until trouble troubles you.
• World Map is a cat playing with Australia.

• Am I a pretty girl?

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