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The NSG Bulwer-Lytton Competition II: The Winner!

For discussion and debate about anything. (Not a roleplay related forum; out-of-character commentary only.)

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Choose your favourite NSG Bulwer-Lytton Competition entry:

Poll ended at Sun Apr 12, 2020 7:12 am

Dumb Ideologies 1
3
9%
Dumb Ideologies 2
6
18%
Piraccas
1
3%
Cannot think of a name
10
29%
Hurdergaryp
5
15%
Bombadil
2
6%
Forsher
3
9%
Czechostan
1
3%
An Alan Smithee Nation
1
3%
Pax Nerdvana
2
6%
 
Total votes : 34

User avatar
The Archregimancy
Game Moderator
 
Posts: 24530
Founded: Aug 01, 2005
Democratic Socialists

Postby The Archregimancy » Wed Apr 01, 2020 6:10 am

I've removed the posts from the recent thread derail; anyone who thinks I've overstepped my authority can raise a report in Moderation.

The posts haven't been deleted, merely moved to the Mod locker; so the evidence of the derail still remains, just hidden away.

User avatar
United Muscovite Nations
Postmaster of the Fleet
 
Posts: 25668
Founded: Feb 01, 2017
Ex-Nation

Postby United Muscovite Nations » Wed Apr 01, 2020 6:11 am

The Archregimancy wrote:I've removed the posts from the recent thread derail; anyone who thinks I've overstepped my authority can raise a report in Moderation.

The posts haven't been deleted, merely moved to the Mod locker; so the evidence of the derail still remains, just hidden away.

I'm fine with that (and I'll delete this post on my own as long as no one replies to it) as long as you at least delete the part of your post where you trollname me and cast moral judgement, because that was the part I was angry about.
Last edited by United Muscovite Nations on Wed Apr 01, 2020 6:12 am, edited 1 time in total.
Grumpy Grandpa of the LWDT and RWDT
Kantian with panentheist and Christian beliefs. Rawlsian Socialist. Just completed studies in History and International Relations. Asexual with sex-revulsion.
The world is grey, the mountains old, the forges fire is ashen cold. No harp is wrung, no hammer falls, the darkness dwells in Durin's halls...
Formerly United Marxist Nations, Dec 02, 2011- Feb 01, 2017. +33,837 posts
Borderline Personality Disorder, currently in treatment. I apologize if I blow up at you. TG me for info, can't discuss publicly because the mods support stigma on mental illness.

User avatar
Thermodolia
Khan of Spam
 
Posts: 58699
Founded: Oct 07, 2011
Civil Rights Lovefest

Postby Thermodolia » Wed Apr 01, 2020 6:17 am

The fabulously fascist furry flummoxed by the sexy Stalinist stallion gazed in wonder as the flirty flaming fascist thought to himself how quizzically queer our stupendously elegant socialist Equine appeared.
Last edited by Thermodolia on Wed Apr 01, 2020 6:18 am, edited 1 time in total.
Male, Titoist cultural nationalist, lives somewhere in the Deep South, give me any good Irish, Canadian, or Scottish whiskey and I will be your friend for life. I'm GAY!
I'm agent #69 in the Gaystapo!
>The Sons of Adam: I'd crown myself monarch... cuz why not?
>>Dumb Ideologies: Why not turn yourself into a penguin and build an igloo at the centre of the Earth?
>Xovland: I keep getting ads for printer ink. Sometimes, when you get that feeling down there, you have to look at some steamy printer pictures.
Click for Da Funies
Click Here for RP Info Embassy Program
Ambassadors to the WA:
Ambassador to the GA Jon Æthr
Ambassador to the SC Eve Šanœ

RIP Dya

User avatar
Rojava Free State
Post Marshal
 
Posts: 18531
Founded: Feb 06, 2018
Left-Leaning College State

Postby Rojava Free State » Wed Apr 01, 2020 6:42 am

"Why the hell are you looking in my bedroom window," the young woman yelled at me.
political compass:

Economic Left/Right: -0.38
Social Libertarian/Authoritarian: -5.38
pro: marijuana, gun rights, private property

anti: fascism, communism, islamism, sexism, pan africanism, La raza, Warren Police Department (and most of the other police departments of metro Detroit except for Auburn Hills. They're aight), gun control, trump, obama, bush, clinton, reagan, carter, chipotle and snotty in crowd teens. Ugh I can't deal with them
Hurdergaryp wrote:Humanity keeps seeing itself as the crown of creation, but to this world we're a crown of thorns at best.


Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/invites/conta ... ent=82zr2h

User avatar
Ethel mermania
Post Kaiser
 
Posts: 104886
Founded: Aug 20, 2010
Father Knows Best State

Postby Ethel mermania » Wed Apr 01, 2020 7:13 am

Rojava Free State wrote:"Why the hell are you looking in my bedroom window," the young woman yelled at me.

My arrest reports do not qualify as fiction, though I wish they did
The West won the world not by the superiority of its ideas or values or religion … but rather by its superiority in applying organized violence. Westerners often forget this fact; non-Westerners never do.

http://www.salientpartners.com/epsilont ... ilizations

User avatar
The Free Joy State
Senior Issues Editor
 
Posts: 11878
Founded: Jan 05, 2014
Iron Fist Consumerists

Postby The Free Joy State » Wed Apr 01, 2020 8:03 am

Dear Reader, I shall recount the tempestuous night when the poor came (for this is a Victorian novel, where “the poor” are often a morass in cloth caps and shawls) wailing of a murderer; alas, Baron Hardiwhistle -- a stiff-legged pug-nosed man with bulging belly and striped dress-shirt -– was paying court and I desired an advantageous match (as Papa lost both money and sanity to his chocolate-bunny farm), so I bolted the window for silence, but (aye me) as the sneering Baron reached for the large adze concealed down his trousers, I suspected our love may be ill-fated.
"If there's a book that you want to read, but it hasn't been written yet, then you must write it." - Toni Morrison

My nation does not represent my beliefs or politics.

User avatar
Rojava Free State
Post Marshal
 
Posts: 18531
Founded: Feb 06, 2018
Left-Leaning College State

Postby Rojava Free State » Wed Apr 01, 2020 8:11 am

I reached in my pants and she gasped in euphoria as I pulled out my big, hard, juicy, beautiful new Samsung Galaxy S10, with it's high definition camera, sleek casing and screen protection.
political compass:

Economic Left/Right: -0.38
Social Libertarian/Authoritarian: -5.38
pro: marijuana, gun rights, private property

anti: fascism, communism, islamism, sexism, pan africanism, La raza, Warren Police Department (and most of the other police departments of metro Detroit except for Auburn Hills. They're aight), gun control, trump, obama, bush, clinton, reagan, carter, chipotle and snotty in crowd teens. Ugh I can't deal with them
Hurdergaryp wrote:Humanity keeps seeing itself as the crown of creation, but to this world we're a crown of thorns at best.


Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/invites/conta ... ent=82zr2h

User avatar
Andsed
Powerbroker
 
Posts: 8852
Founded: Aug 24, 2017
Civil Rights Lovefest

Postby Andsed » Wed Apr 01, 2020 8:26 am

I stood against a group of 5 year olds all so confident in their fantasy of this being a ¨play fight,¨ but I show no mercy something they would learn soon.
Last edited by Andsed on Wed Apr 01, 2020 8:27 am, edited 2 times in total.
Hello I am Andsed welcome to my sig.


Amazing Andsed quotes:
Ok lets get back on topic so we don´t get this thread locked thanks to talking about my church windmill dancing.
Andsed is not legally responsible for any injuries that may occur if you take this seriously and somehow get a trebuchet and try to fling yourself into a plane. You fucking dumbass
NationStates going from serious debates about homosexuality to jokes about Jesus a marijuana dealer in the span of one to two posts since November 13 2002.
Sorry my mind is always in the gutter no it lives in gutter my mind is fuckin called pennywise it is in the gutter so much.
How does one outsource racism? Do you like get an Indian guy to call people and call them racial slurs?

LOVEWHOYOUARE~

User avatar
Samudera Darussalam
Senator
 
Posts: 3576
Founded: Aug 05, 2016
New York Times Democracy

Postby Samudera Darussalam » Wed Apr 01, 2020 8:29 am

I smiles at him, he smiles at me, and his hand slaps me in the face.
Embassy Link - This is closed for a while.

Indonesian Muslim

User avatar
Nanatsu no Tsuki
Post Overlord
 
Posts: 192687
Founded: Feb 10, 2008
Inoffensive Centrist Democracy

Postby Nanatsu no Tsuki » Wed Apr 01, 2020 8:37 am

Heads hanging low, the scientists, with trepidation, approached those assembled at the board room; the novel virus had mutated into its most aggressive stage: the US 2020 election campaign.
Code name: Ratatouille Strychnine
Also: THERNSY!!
Your story isn't over;֍Help save transgender people's lives֍Help for feral cats
Cat with internet access||Heartless, ''transgendered non-binary kawaii Chan'', & a d*ck.||No TGs
RIP: Dyakovo & Ashmoria

User avatar
Valentine Z
Powerbroker
 
Posts: 7805
Founded: Nov 08, 2015
Scandinavian Liberal Paradise

Postby Valentine Z » Wed Apr 01, 2020 9:03 am

I woke up to the sound of some ruffling in the kitchen, which is then my lovely wife shouting out to me that she was preparing some supper and would like to eat with me, which in turn perplexed me because my wife is beside me in my bed when I heard my name called out... all of which was less of ghosts and just more of me having two wives.
Last edited by Valentine Z on Wed Apr 01, 2020 9:04 am, edited 2 times in total.



Valentine Z GIF Flag (Improved!)
The Valentine Z CV.
NationStates 1st Flag Bracket - 1st place!
Issues Thread 4th in Gen Sec

The Sixty! Opinions Deposit! Valentian Stories! Gwen's Adventures! Cat Anthem! Valentian News.
If you are reading my sig, I want you to have the best day ever ! You are worth it, do not let anyone get you down !
Glory to De Geweldige Sierlijke Katachtige Utopia en Zijne Autonome Machten ov Valentine Z !
Q & A Here! | Heights of NS! Add yours now!

Clarissa mistaken for Smurf/Avatar: 10
Valentijn called She: 38
Disappointing F7 Responses: 218

• Eat my freaking tranquility. - Zenyatta
• Never trouble trouble until trouble troubles you.
• World Map is a cat playing with Australia.

• Am I a pretty girl?

User avatar
Thermodolia
Khan of Spam
 
Posts: 58699
Founded: Oct 07, 2011
Civil Rights Lovefest

Postby Thermodolia » Wed Apr 01, 2020 9:13 am

Nanatsu no Tsuki wrote:Heads hanging low, the scientists, with trepidation, approached those assembled at the board room; the novel virus had mutated into its most aggressive stage: the US 2020 election campaign.

Hahahahaha.

That’s great.
Male, Titoist cultural nationalist, lives somewhere in the Deep South, give me any good Irish, Canadian, or Scottish whiskey and I will be your friend for life. I'm GAY!
I'm agent #69 in the Gaystapo!
>The Sons of Adam: I'd crown myself monarch... cuz why not?
>>Dumb Ideologies: Why not turn yourself into a penguin and build an igloo at the centre of the Earth?
>Xovland: I keep getting ads for printer ink. Sometimes, when you get that feeling down there, you have to look at some steamy printer pictures.
Click for Da Funies
Click Here for RP Info Embassy Program
Ambassadors to the WA:
Ambassador to the GA Jon Æthr
Ambassador to the SC Eve Šanœ

RIP Dya

User avatar
Nanatsu no Tsuki
Post Overlord
 
Posts: 192687
Founded: Feb 10, 2008
Inoffensive Centrist Democracy

Postby Nanatsu no Tsuki » Wed Apr 01, 2020 9:16 am

Thermodolia wrote:
Nanatsu no Tsuki wrote:Heads hanging low, the scientists, with trepidation, approached those assembled at the board room; the novel virus had mutated into its most aggressive stage: the US 2020 election campaign.

Hahahahaha.

That’s great.


You’re welcome.
Code name: Ratatouille Strychnine
Also: THERNSY!!
Your story isn't over;֍Help save transgender people's lives֍Help for feral cats
Cat with internet access||Heartless, ''transgendered non-binary kawaii Chan'', & a d*ck.||No TGs
RIP: Dyakovo & Ashmoria

User avatar
Dumb Ideologies
Post Czar
 
Posts: 42953
Founded: Sep 30, 2007
Mother Knows Best State

Postby Dumb Ideologies » Wed Apr 01, 2020 9:17 am

Bob was a male human of indeterminate age, brown-haired, small nosed, brown-eyed, of more or less average build, and this is the life story of his breakfast.
Tʜᴇ Sᴛʀᴀssᴇʀɪsᴛ Sᴜɴᴅᴀᴇ Cʟᴜʙ ᴏғ Dᴜᴍʙ Iᴅᴇᴏʟᴏɢɪᴇs
¸„¤*˜*¤„¸„¤*˜*¤„¸ Use Culture War Snake Oil on all your stubborn political stains - if it doesn't work just add more! ¸„¤*˜*¤„¸„¤*˜*¤„¸
The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane ~ Marcus Aurelius
♆ P ᴀ x D I ᴀ ʙ ᴏ ʟ ɪ ᴄ ᴀ ♆

User avatar
Valentine Z
Powerbroker
 
Posts: 7805
Founded: Nov 08, 2015
Scandinavian Liberal Paradise

Postby Valentine Z » Wed Apr 01, 2020 9:20 am

In the Year 2025, Humanity has reached the lowest of the low with their development: Love is at an all-time low, and it's up to me, The Charmcaster, to bring back lust and fun bed times to everyone!
Last edited by Valentine Z on Wed Apr 01, 2020 9:20 am, edited 1 time in total.



Valentine Z GIF Flag (Improved!)
The Valentine Z CV.
NationStates 1st Flag Bracket - 1st place!
Issues Thread 4th in Gen Sec

The Sixty! Opinions Deposit! Valentian Stories! Gwen's Adventures! Cat Anthem! Valentian News.
If you are reading my sig, I want you to have the best day ever ! You are worth it, do not let anyone get you down !
Glory to De Geweldige Sierlijke Katachtige Utopia en Zijne Autonome Machten ov Valentine Z !
Q & A Here! | Heights of NS! Add yours now!

Clarissa mistaken for Smurf/Avatar: 10
Valentijn called She: 38
Disappointing F7 Responses: 218

• Eat my freaking tranquility. - Zenyatta
• Never trouble trouble until trouble troubles you.
• World Map is a cat playing with Australia.

• Am I a pretty girl?

User avatar
Nanatsu no Tsuki
Post Overlord
 
Posts: 192687
Founded: Feb 10, 2008
Inoffensive Centrist Democracy

Postby Nanatsu no Tsuki » Wed Apr 01, 2020 9:24 am

Dumb Ideologies wrote:Bob was a male human of indeterminate age, brown-haired, small nosed, brown-eyed, of more or less average build, and this is the life story of his breakfast.


Squiggly, squirming, shaking, the mother hauled him into the oven; crispy Bob son is best enjoyed piping hot.
Code name: Ratatouille Strychnine
Also: THERNSY!!
Your story isn't over;֍Help save transgender people's lives֍Help for feral cats
Cat with internet access||Heartless, ''transgendered non-binary kawaii Chan'', & a d*ck.||No TGs
RIP: Dyakovo & Ashmoria

User avatar
Dumb Ideologies
Post Czar
 
Posts: 42953
Founded: Sep 30, 2007
Mother Knows Best State

Postby Dumb Ideologies » Wed Apr 01, 2020 9:46 am

The dream long fought for had been realised, one people, one nation, one ruler, eighty-seven genders, but one question remained - what was the correct term of address for a feminine-leaning non-binary pansexual wolfkin absolute ruler of colour?
Last edited by Dumb Ideologies on Wed Apr 01, 2020 9:48 am, edited 1 time in total.
Tʜᴇ Sᴛʀᴀssᴇʀɪsᴛ Sᴜɴᴅᴀᴇ Cʟᴜʙ ᴏғ Dᴜᴍʙ Iᴅᴇᴏʟᴏɢɪᴇs
¸„¤*˜*¤„¸„¤*˜*¤„¸ Use Culture War Snake Oil on all your stubborn political stains - if it doesn't work just add more! ¸„¤*˜*¤„¸„¤*˜*¤„¸
The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority, but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane ~ Marcus Aurelius
♆ P ᴀ x D I ᴀ ʙ ᴏ ʟ ɪ ᴄ ᴀ ♆

User avatar
An Alan Smithee Nation
Negotiator
 
Posts: 5192
Founded: Apr 18, 2018
New York Times Democracy

Postby An Alan Smithee Nation » Wed Apr 01, 2020 9:47 am

After centuries of deliberation by the finest ovine minds, the sheep General was finally ready to announce the plan for the conquest of Britain to the assembled woolly horde - "First we take Prestatyn, then we take King's Lynn".

User avatar
Andsed
Powerbroker
 
Posts: 8852
Founded: Aug 24, 2017
Civil Rights Lovefest

Postby Andsed » Wed Apr 01, 2020 10:01 am

I looked at my friend and mentioned the name of someone who only exists in my head and my naive foolish friend asked a two word question that would signal his end in the blaze of embarrassment and clever word play, ¨who´s Joe?¨
Hello I am Andsed welcome to my sig.


Amazing Andsed quotes:
Ok lets get back on topic so we don´t get this thread locked thanks to talking about my church windmill dancing.
Andsed is not legally responsible for any injuries that may occur if you take this seriously and somehow get a trebuchet and try to fling yourself into a plane. You fucking dumbass
NationStates going from serious debates about homosexuality to jokes about Jesus a marijuana dealer in the span of one to two posts since November 13 2002.
Sorry my mind is always in the gutter no it lives in gutter my mind is fuckin called pennywise it is in the gutter so much.
How does one outsource racism? Do you like get an Indian guy to call people and call them racial slurs?

LOVEWHOYOUARE~

User avatar
Nanatsu no Tsuki
Post Overlord
 
Posts: 192687
Founded: Feb 10, 2008
Inoffensive Centrist Democracy

Postby Nanatsu no Tsuki » Wed Apr 01, 2020 10:05 am

Sleepily, she opened the door to a room full of people; after months of working from home due to quarantine, she had forgotten it was time to go back to the office and her bunny PJs were not acceptable attire anymore.
Code name: Ratatouille Strychnine
Also: THERNSY!!
Your story isn't over;֍Help save transgender people's lives֍Help for feral cats
Cat with internet access||Heartless, ''transgendered non-binary kawaii Chan'', & a d*ck.||No TGs
RIP: Dyakovo & Ashmoria

User avatar
US-SSR
Ambassador
 
Posts: 1947
Founded: Aug 02, 2018
Corporate Police State

Postby US-SSR » Wed Apr 01, 2020 3:14 pm

"So help me God," concluded President Trump after taking his second oath of office.
8:46

No, I don't take responsibility at all!

"The scraps of narcissism, the rotten remnants of conspiracy theories, the offal of sour grievance, the half-eaten bits of resentment flow by. They do not cohere. But they move in the same, insistent current of self, self, self."

User avatar
Unstoppable Empire of Doom
Ambassador
 
Posts: 1444
Founded: Dec 18, 2015
Inoffensive Centrist Democracy

Postby Unstoppable Empire of Doom » Wed Apr 01, 2020 5:01 pm

Erroneously confusion enveloped the sentance as it was bequeathed to all within earshot, despite their best efforts to retard it, and soon all who had succumb developed the prescribed confusion as if it were poorly handed out as a sentance by the rather absurd Judge Dredge and her merry band of recently confused voluntold convictims.
The poor don't hate the rich, they hate those who masquerade inherited wealth as hard work.

User avatar
Italios
Post Marshal
 
Posts: 17468
Founded: Dec 19, 2014
Left-wing Utopia

Postby Italios » Wed Apr 01, 2020 5:15 pm

you guys are fucking slacking tbh, very weak submissions so far.

"Diopolis often spent his days preoccupied about how the rest of America could sit there gorging on disgusting fast food and fluorine filled water created by Jewish Bolshevism; he, meanwhile, only consumed the purest of nutrients - single malt scottish whiskey mixed the cells of aborted babies he'd failed to save, and pulverized Deutsche Arbeiterpartei pamphlets"
socialist ☭ pro-enosis ☦︎ dsaz member ♥ free literature
"individualism, at first, only saps the virtues of public life; but in the long run it attacks and destroys all others and is at length absorbed in selfishness." -alexis de tocqueville

User avatar
Bombadil
Postmaster-General
 
Posts: 13738
Founded: Oct 13, 2011
Left-Leaning College State

Postby Bombadil » Wed Apr 01, 2020 5:37 pm

The interesting thing about the Boeing 767, thought Ned, is that not only is it Boeing's first wide-body twinjet but its two-crew glass cockpit is also a first for Boeing, which allows for a common type pilot rating meaning pretty much anyone can fly this plane, 'I hope there's a good movie on' he sighed as he boarded American Airlines Flight 11.
Eldest, that's what I am...Tom remembers the first raindrop and the first acorn...he knew the dark under the stars when it was fearless — before the Dark Lord came from Outside..

十年

User avatar
Ethel mermania
Post Kaiser
 
Posts: 104886
Founded: Aug 20, 2010
Father Knows Best State

Postby Ethel mermania » Wed Apr 01, 2020 6:05 pm

I am a sick man, ... I am a spiteful man, I am an unattractive man, I believe my liver is diseased; However, I know nothing at all about my disease, and do not know for certain what ails me
The West won the world not by the superiority of its ideas or values or religion … but rather by its superiority in applying organized violence. Westerners often forget this fact; non-Westerners never do.

http://www.salientpartners.com/epsilont ... ilizations

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