Coronavirus Thread mark II: Official Apocalyptic Edition

[The World Capitalist Confederation]

Have you asked the virus community whether they have a will?

Oh I forgot about the virus community. I guess I'll need to write to the Virus President to ask, but I'm sure they are terribly busy with everything that is happening right now.

Oh God, I missed Mr. Smallpox. Things were never the same without him. His son couldn't fill his boots at all, and the other two killed him! He was the last truly bipartisan President - he got both the Infectivity Party and the Fatality Party to agree with him, and his policies of fast-spreading sores.

Now we see a power struggle between Governor of Coronaviruses Influenza and that zombie man they call Rabies.

I heard this new kid on the block is just another coronavirus schemer looking to undermine the Fatality Party! #Rabies2020 #MakeVirusesLethalAgain

[Novus America]

I mean, viruses don't want to do anything, on account of not having will.

There is a debate in the scientific community as to whether or not virus meet the definition of life.

Although there is debate on whether or not they are alive, the definitely have no more will or desire than a screwdriver. They are basically machines. But yes they tend to kill fewer hosts over time, because evolving to be less lethal makes it easier for them to spread.

[Fartsniffage]

There is a debate in the scientific community as to whether or not virus meet the definition of life.

Although there is debate on whether or not they are alive, the definitely have no more will or desire than a screwdriver. They are basically machines. But yes they tend to kill fewer hosts over time, because evolving to be less lethal makes it easier for them to spread.

The fun thing is that this one already has a high R0 rate even with the lethality. It might have stuck the sweet spot for killing humans.

[Jerzylvania]

What pneumonic bacteria? The last I heard it was the virus causing the damage and fluid ingress into lungs?

This virus has a few different ways that it kills people (usually it's a combination). That's one of them. Another is that the damage that it does to the windpipe provides a prime target for bacteria, which then also kill you.


This doesn't make much difference to the overall point, though - if SARS-CoV-2 becomes less dangerous, it'll also be doing less damage to the windpipe, so there'll be less damage from secondary infections too.

Additionally there is the possibility of heart muscle injury. COVID-19 linked to cardiac injury, worse outcomes for patients with heart conditions

[Salandriagado]

There is a debate in the scientific community as to whether or not virus meet the definition of life.

Although there is debate on whether or not they are alive, the definitely have no more will or desire than a screwdriver. They are basically machines. But yes they tend to kill fewer hosts over time, because evolving to be less lethal makes it easier for them to spread.

In a little more detail: the effective (from the virus perspective) part of the process is:

1. Get into the upper respiratory tract.
2. Get into the cells with ACE-2 receptors there.
3. Hijack those cells to make more viruses, which
4. Get coughed out onto a new human to rinse and repeat.


Everything else - the pneumonia, the bacterial secondary infections, the cytokine storms, etc. is basically just a result of the virus being very inefficient at doing that in humans (due to being new to humans - it's probably far more efficient in bats, and seems to be more efficient in dogs too). Since there's an evolutionary pressure towards efficiency here, the virus will probably get better at doing its thing, and the death rate will probably fall.

[San Lumen]

Oh I forgot about the virus community. I guess I'll need to write to the Virus President to ask, but I'm sure they are terribly busy with everything that is happening right now.

Oh God, I missed Mr. Smallpox. Things were never the same without him. His son couldn't fill his boots at all, and the other two killed him! He was the last truly bipartisan President - he got both the Infectivity Party and the Fatality Party to agree with him, and his policies of fast-spreading sores.

Now we see a power struggle between Governor of Coronaviruses Influenza and that zombie man they call Rabies.

I heard this new kid on the block is just another coronavirus schemer looking to undermine the Fatality Party! #Rabies2020 #MakeVirusesLethalAgain

That’s not even taking into account the infighting among the Virus Royal family. There is a dispute as to who the true heir is

[Jerzylvania]

There is a debate in the scientific community as to whether or not virus meet the definition of life.

Although there is debate on whether or not they are alive, the definitely have no more will or desire than a screwdriver. They are basically machines. But yes they tend to kill fewer hosts over time, because evolving to be less lethal makes it easier for them to spread.

OTOH this virus has managed to evolve into the ability to incubate in this planets lone super-predator, human beings. We number over 7 billion and can be found literally everywhere. That's a huge ability to begat countless more generations of the CoVID-19 virus and therefore to also be virtually everywhere.

[The World Capitalist Confederation]

Oh God, I missed Mr. Smallpox. Things were never the same without him. His son couldn't fill his boots at all, and the other two killed him! He was the last truly bipartisan President - he got both the Infectivity Party and the Fatality Party to agree with him, and his policies of fast-spreading sores.

Now we see a power struggle between Governor of Coronaviruses Influenza and that zombie man they call Rabies.

I heard this new kid on the block is just another coronavirus schemer looking to undermine the Fatality Party! #Rabies2020 #MakeVirusesLethalAgain

That’s not even taking into account the infighting among the Virus Royal family. There is a dispute as to who the true heir is

Oh don't get me started on royal politics! The primaries are enough of a clusterfuck as it is! President Ebola's not running for another term, so the question is: who's going to win in the primaries? I mean, we all thought that Influenza was going to pull it out, but then COVID entered. He's the frontrunner for now, but he's not electable. Sure, he's more lethal than influenza, but he has zero political experience. The state of coronavirus needs to get its shit together, quite frankly. Influenza's spent all the money on vaccine dodging, and that's not going to help them become more infectious.

Meanwhile, when you look at the Fatality primaries, you get this Fatality in Name Only shithead known as "HIV" or "AIDS" if you prefer. FINO shit only has 80% fatality, I don't trust him - you go with rabies or you go with the infectious! I mean, has all the rabies fanfiction taught anyone anything? Let me be clear - if the election came down to HIV/AIDS/whatever the fuck you call him and that bacterium-wannabe COVID, I'll be voting third party - I heard the Leprosy/Polio disability ticket's doing good this year, so I'd much rather go ahead with them rather than spineless HIV and baby COVID! Unlike HIV, rabies is a true Lethalitarian! He's going to build a wall and make the bacteria pay for it!

#Rabies2020 #MakeVirusesLethalAgain #AntibioticBorderWall

[San Lumen]

That’s not even taking into account the infighting among the Virus Royal family. There is a dispute as to who the true heir is

Oh don't get me started on royal politics! The primaries are enough of a clusterfuck as it is! President Ebola's not running for another term, so the question is: who's going to win in the primaries? I mean, we all thought that Influenza was going to pull it out, but then COVID entered. He's the frontrunner for now, but he's not electable. Sure, he's more lethal than influenza, but he has zero political experience. The state of coronavirus needs to get its shit together, quite frankly. Influenza's spent all the money on vaccine dodging, and that's not going to help them become more infectious.

Meanwhile, when you look at the Fatality primaries, you get this Fatality in Name Only shithead known as "HIV" or "AIDS" if you prefer. FINO shit only has 80% fatality, I don't trust him - you go with rabies or you go with the infectious! I mean, has all the rabies fanfiction taught anyone anything? Let me be clear - if the election came down to HIV/AIDS/whatever the fuck you call him and that bacterium-wannabe COVID, I'll be voting third party - I heard the Leprosy/Polio disability ticket's doing good this year, so I'd much rather go ahead with them rather than spineless HIV and baby COVID! Unlike HIV, rabies is a true Lethalitarian! He's going to build a wall and make the bacteria pay for it!

#Rabies2020 #MakeVirusesLethalAgain #AntibioticBorderWall

This is great!!! This should be a comedy routine.

[Jerzylvania]

That’s not even taking into account the infighting among the Virus Royal family. There is a dispute as to who the true heir is

Oh don't get me started on royal politics! The primaries are enough of a clusterfuck as it is! President Ebola's not running for another term, so the question is: who's going to win in the primaries? I mean, we all thought that Influenza was going to pull it out, but then COVID entered. He's the frontrunner for now, but he's not electable. Sure, he's more lethal than influenza, but he has zero political experience. The state of coronavirus needs to get its shit together, quite frankly. Influenza's spent all the money on vaccine dodging, and that's not going to help them become more infectious.

Meanwhile, when you look at the Fatality primaries, you get this Fatality in Name Only shithead known as "HIV" or "AIDS" if you prefer. FINO shit only has 80% fatality, I don't trust him - you go with rabies or you go with the infectious! I mean, has all the rabies fanfiction taught anyone anything? Let me be clear - if the election came down to HIV/AIDS/whatever the fuck you call him and that bacterium-wannabe COVID, I'll be voting third party - I heard the Leprosy/Polio disability ticket's doing good this year, so I'd much rather go ahead with them rather than spineless HIV and baby COVID! Unlike HIV, rabies is a true Lethalitarian! He's going to build a wall and make the bacteria pay for it!

#Rabies2020 #MakeVirusesLethalAgain #AntibioticBorderWall

Well, Poliovirus sure dominated the 1900s right into the Cold War era until the Jonas Salk scandal took him down. I don't expect that candidacy to go very far in 2020. My money is on CoVID-19 all the way.

[The World Capitalist Confederation]

Oh don't get me started on royal politics! The primaries are enough of a clusterfuck as it is! President Ebola's not running for another term, so the question is: who's going to win in the primaries? I mean, we all thought that Influenza was going to pull it out, but then COVID entered. He's the frontrunner for now, but he's not electable. Sure, he's more lethal than influenza, but he has zero political experience. The state of coronavirus needs to get its shit together, quite frankly. Influenza's spent all the money on vaccine dodging, and that's not going to help them become more infectious.

Meanwhile, when you look at the Fatality primaries, you get this Fatality in Name Only shithead known as "HIV" or "AIDS" if you prefer. FINO shit only has 80% fatality, I don't trust him - you go with rabies or you go with the infectious! I mean, has all the rabies fanfiction taught anyone anything? Let me be clear - if the election came down to HIV/AIDS/whatever the fuck you call him and that bacterium-wannabe COVID, I'll be voting third party - I heard the Leprosy/Polio disability ticket's doing good this year, so I'd much rather go ahead with them rather than spineless HIV and baby COVID! Unlike HIV, rabies is a true Lethalitarian! He's going to build a wall and make the bacteria pay for it!

#Rabies2020 #MakeVirusesLethalAgain #AntibioticBorderWall

This is great!!! This should be a comedy routine.

It really should be.

In other news:
-Rabies denies being bacteriophage in disguise, says that "FAKE NEWS MEDIA calls me BACTERIOPHAGE! Say I want to GENOCIDE BACTERIA. SAD!"
-President Malaria of Parasite declares permanent moratorium on anti-vaccine funding due to "new GM Mosquito threat" - Allegations of Corruptin.
-Senator Cholera lashes out against Senator Anthrax, calls him "fungus" due to spores.
-Emperor Creuzfeldt-Jakob says a Rabies administration would be a "great shift" towards "more lethal and more traditional" ideals as opposed to "liberal infectivity".

[San Lumen]

This is great!!! This should be a comedy routine.

It really should be.

In other news:
-Rabies denies being bacteriophage in disguise, says that "FAKE NEWS MEDIA calls me BACTERIOPHAGE! Say I want to GENOCIDE BACTERIA. SAD!"
-President Malaria of Parasite declares permanent moratorium on anti-vaccine funding due to "new GM Mosquito threat" - Allegations of Corruptin.
-Senator Cholera lashes out against Senator Anthrax, calls him "fungus" due to spores.
-Emperor Creuzfeldt-Jakob says a Rabies administration would be a "great shift" towards "more lethal and more traditional" ideals as opposed to "liberal infectivity".

Who knew viruses could be so funny but it’s like George Carlin said “anything can be funny. It’s all about how you construct the joke. What your exaggeration is.”

[The World Capitalist Confederation]

Oh don't get me started on royal politics! The primaries are enough of a clusterfuck as it is! President Ebola's not running for another term, so the question is: who's going to win in the primaries? I mean, we all thought that Influenza was going to pull it out, but then COVID entered. He's the frontrunner for now, but he's not electable. Sure, he's more lethal than influenza, but he has zero political experience. The state of coronavirus needs to get its shit together, quite frankly. Influenza's spent all the money on vaccine dodging, and that's not going to help them become more infectious.

Meanwhile, when you look at the Fatality primaries, you get this Fatality in Name Only shithead known as "HIV" or "AIDS" if you prefer. FINO shit only has 80% fatality, I don't trust him - you go with rabies or you go with the infectious! I mean, has all the rabies fanfiction taught anyone anything? Let me be clear - if the election came down to HIV/AIDS/whatever the fuck you call him and that bacterium-wannabe COVID, I'll be voting third party - I heard the Leprosy/Polio disability ticket's doing good this year, so I'd much rather go ahead with them rather than spineless HIV and baby COVID! Unlike HIV, rabies is a true Lethalitarian! He's going to build a wall and make the bacteria pay for it!

#Rabies2020 #MakeVirusesLethalAgain #AntibioticBorderWall

Well, Poliovirus sure dominated the 1900s right into the Cold War era until the Jonas Salk scandal took him down. I don't expect that candidacy to go very far in 2020. My money is on CoVID-19 all the way.

See, that's the real problem - which is why Leprosy is on top of the ticket this time, despite suffering from similar problems.

Polio is really only popular amongst pre-boomers, see.

[Jerzylvania]

This is great!!! This should be a comedy routine.

It really should be.

In other news:
-Rabies denies being bacteriophage in disguise, says that "FAKE NEWS MEDIA calls me BACTERIOPHAGE! Say I want to GENOCIDE BACTERIA. SAD!"
-President Malaria of Parasite declares permanent moratorium on anti-vaccine funding due to "new GM Mosquito threat" - Allegations of Corruptin.
-Senator Cholera lashes out against Senator Anthrax, calls him "fungus" due to spores.
-Emperor Creuzfeldt-Jakob says a Rabies administration would be a "great shift" towards "more lethal and more traditional" ideals as opposed to "liberal infectivity".

-In a later development Governor Clostridium Tetani has denounced Senator Cholera for his flagrant opposition to spores.

[Jerzylvania]

Well, Poliovirus sure dominated the 1900s right into the Cold War era until the Jonas Salk scandal took him down. I don't expect that candidacy to go very far in 2020. My money is on CoVID-19 all the way.

See, that's the real problem - which is why Leprosy is on top of the ticket this time, despite suffering from similar problems.

Polio is really only popular amongst pre-boomers, see.

Seems CoVid-19 is wooing those pre-boomer voters by proposing a new holiday, now brace yourself... FDR Day.

[The World Capitalist Confederation]

See, that's the real problem - which is why Leprosy is on top of the ticket this time, despite suffering from similar problems.

Polio is really only popular amongst pre-boomers, see.

Seems CoVid-19 is wooing those pre-boomer voters by proposing, now brace yourself... FDR day.

Oh God, Polio must be pissed. He did all the work on that one...

COVID's father, Congressman SARS is considering endorsing the Debilitating Disease Party due to his sympathy for pulmonary fibrosis, so this feud is going to be interesting for him.

[San Lumen]

Seems CoVid-19 is wooing those pre-boomer voters by proposing, now brace yourself... FDR day.

Oh God, Polio must be pissed. He did all the work on that one...

COVID's father, Congressman SARS is considering endorsing the Debilitating Disease Party due to his sympathy for pulmonary fibrosis, so this feud is going to be interesting for him.

How do you think the Royal dispute will resolve? I haven’t a clue

I’ve heard corona says they are the heir yet influenza also claims the title among others

[Nanatsu no Tsuki]

Something to chuckle about during this emergency.

[San Lumen]

(Image)

Something to chuckle about during this emergency.

I’m sorry but that very creepy

[The World Capitalist Confederation]

Oh God, Polio must be pissed. He did all the work on that one...

COVID's father, Congressman SARS is considering endorsing the Debilitating Disease Party due to his sympathy for pulmonary fibrosis, so this feud is going to be interesting for him.

How do you think the Royal dispute will resolve? I haven’t a clue

I’ve heard corona says they are the heir yet influenza also claims the title among others

Based on the old laws, it SHOULD be Mayor Chickenpox, but who likes him? He's just a nepotist riding off of the coattails of his father.

[The New California Republic]

(Image)

Something to chuckle about during this emergency.

It's a trick! It's an evolved Coronavirus with arms and legs using the box as a disguise!

[Nanatsu no Tsuki]

(Image)

Something to chuckle about during this emergency.

It's a trick! It's an evolved Coronavirus with arms and legs using the box as a disguise!

I’d add cat ears and a tail to it and use that as my 2020 Coronaween costume.

[Andsed]

(Image)

Something to chuckle about during this emergency.

Truly madness is overtaking us all. Soon we shall all be on all fours with a amazon box on are head. It is our destiny!

[Nanatsu no Tsuki]

(Image)

Something to chuckle about during this emergency.

Truly madness is overtaking us all. Soon we shall all be on all fours with a amazon box on are head. It is our destiny!

Hey, we’re devolving so it seems fitting. \o/

[San Lumen]

How do you think the Royal dispute will resolve? I haven’t a clue

I’ve heard corona says they are the heir yet influenza also claims the title among others

Based on the old laws, it SHOULD be Mayor Chickenpox, but who likes him? He's just a nepotist riding off of the coattails of his father.

My sources say she doesn’t have much support to be heir to the Morbid Throne. Or is it called something else I can’t remember