Infected Mushroom wrote:Dumb Ideologies wrote:Option 2 is preferable because it offers greater room for a conversation about the real reasons you are struggling and developing a plan that improves your performance.
I would rather deal with a patronising but broadly sympathetic assumption that is closer to the truth. It is also the less intentionally insulting of the two.
I see.
So you're saying, "if you're seen as stupid, then the company should think about helping you improve and learn despite the deficit" but "if you're seen as lazy, then your very loyalty to the company is put into question"?
is that right?
Sort of, but not quite, because you've suggested "you're stupid" as the "without bullshit" version of what the boss has said on Option 2, but conversation (like law!) is often somewhat of a matter of interpretation and since I am still me in your hypothetical I wouldn't interpret it that way.
To help you understand where I'm coming from a bit more, I have a mild neurological disorder that is not immediately obvious and which means I tend to struggle with a few things in a way that people wouldn't immediately expect from someone who is able to communicate themselves at the above-average level at which I generally operate. So I have had real-life conversations broadly along the lines of both 1 and 2 when someone has had a bit of "expectation whiplash" when suddenly I'm markedly below average in performance on a particular task.
I would, and have, chosen to take lines like 2 charitably as an opportunity to engage. It is far more difficult in my experience to find a way to turn option 1 into a mutually productive discussion because there's not a way in where you aren't already on the defensive because making an effort is the very least you can expect of a "good person".
In summary, 2 offers an opportunity for positive engagement which the assumption that 1 - you're "just lazy" - doesn't. As I say, I'm partly going off personal circumstances here, but it works with other difficulties too. It's a scenario where there's much more choice in how to interpret it and it's much easier to enter the conversation without being unavoidably on the defensive.