I find this one interesting, too. Even if I'm not that old (mid-20s), a lot of stuff has changed since my young, naïve days ...
So, yeah, here we go with my current self (henceforth referred to as CL, for Current Lillo) in a conversation with my 16-year-old self (henceforth referred to as YL, Younger Lillo):
CL: "If there's good advice I can give you, laddie, then it is the following: Don't start smoking - you'll still do that in ten years, no matter how often you plan to quit."
YL: "I wasn't even gonna start in the first place ..."
CL: "That's what you think now, but Abitur will be a thing. Drink tea instead."
YL: "Oh, 'mmkay, gonna keep that in mind."
CL: "Wonderful. Oh, what are you even drinking there? Is this supposed to be beer? Spit that out, it's poison!"
YL: "But it's the only stuff you'll get here for a price affordable for a school student! Don't you remember?"
CL: "Oh yeah, that point goes to you. Now, don't ever start playing complaint box for others having trouble with their relationships. Even though you might appreciate being their advisor, it'll be pointless. They will do the polar opposite of what you're gonna be telling them and then complain, that nothing has gotten better. It's unrewarding, believe me."
YL: "Noted. Speaking of which - I think, I like a certain lassie around a bit more than I probably should ..."
CL: *spends a moment to think about who that could have been* "Ah, no, forget about her. No chance. Oh, and probably stop bragging about being brilliant at memorizing useless stuff - because you'll meet some of them again in ten years, and the nerdy smart-ass image will pretty much be the only thing they will remember about you."
YL: "Oh ... so I should act more ... normal?"
CL: "A good start. But ... be normal, maybe - oh, wait, forget about that. That train has already departed many years ago."
YL: "Hmst ... but we haven't finished the girls part! Will I succeed?"
CL: "Do you want a polite or an honest answer?"
YL: "So bad ...?"
CL: "Let me put it like this - don't spend too much thought into that. I'm aware, that you're 16 and have no bloody idea as to what you do with all the hormones running crazy, but this will change already in a couple of years. There will also be that one girl ... ah, no, no need to mention it - you'll do the right thing, even if it may be hard to imagine for you now. In general, your priorities will be different." *lets a beat pass* "No worries, it'll still include a lot of nerd stuff. Like creating countries in a browsergame ..."
YL: "Cool ... I guess. But haven't we actually met up so you'll give me useful advice?"
CL: "Yeah, right ... so, don't make the same mistake as Ostroeuropa - most of your predictions on politics will be correct, so place bets. Oh, and get yourself a new football club to root for - contrary to popular belief, we're not gonna remain in the First League. Spare yourself a few heart attacks. Getting proper sleep might not be too bad, either, just like losing a few kilograms. More exercise won't kill you, either. And study more, of course."
YL: "Wow. Nothing but the stuff they already keep telling me ...?"
CL: "They do have quite a few good points. You could really start listening to others more - that's easily possible without hiding or changing your personality! Oh, and before I forget about it - learn Italian instead of Russian. That will be much more useful in your future hangout pub."
YL: "Hm, okay ..."
(One year later, the October 2020 amendment:
CL: "Oh, and before I forget about that, buy Essity stocks in late 2019."
YL: "Hang on. You mean the company producing Zewa, Tempo, and a variant of toilet paper brands ...? What could possibly happen to make their revenue actually skyrocket ...?"
CL: "Just do it. It's a long story ...")
Yeah, that's a lot I'd wish to tell my younger self - I could write an entire novel on this, but this should suffice. But it's fun to write, really!
