Hypothetical: A Crippled Annie

[Hammer Britannia]

Well since we're Witch Hitler, wheeling ourselves into the swamp would kill Witch Hitler.

the premise of the hypothetical is that you may or may not be

Which means you are, given your habits, and this entire argument is just so you can have a better chance at keeping your genocidal waifu alive.

Pond rolling time.

[Pacomia]

No. If anything, I’ll be a mascot for the Jacobins.

so then for you you don't like the Options where you accept the deal by the king because its a matter of ideology?

Yeah, basically. It wouldn’t make all that much of a difference anyway, I wouldn’t want to be a noble, or have lots of land, or a ton of servants. That would make me everything that I hate. A cure for my condition, on the other hand, would be nice. I wouldn’t be willing to help the monarchy to obtain it, but maybe if I help the opposition, who I support anyway, it’ll just get released publicly once the monarchy had fallen.

[The New California Republic]

A crippled Annie though? She can’t move

You are completely paralyzed from leg down and are confined to bed and wheelchair.

Sure she can.

[Caracasus]

Okay, fair enough IM. You know what, I am not gonna fuck around, after all you went to the trouble of writing this out. I've put some serious thought into my options here and after consideration I have selected other. My reasoning is quite long and convoluted, so I have written it all out and spoilered it below.

[The Two Jerseys]

It's like giving a loaded Sten to someone with a habit of dropping things.

How would sleeping work?

"Maybe nothing will happen, maybe we'll accidentally destroy Chicago, hopefully something in between." -Enrico Fermi, December 1, 1942 (Not really)

[Heloin]

Well since we're Witch Hitler, wheeling ourselves into the swamp would kill Witch Hitler.

the premise of the hypothetical is that you may or may not be

Stop saying that. We all know it means we are Witch Hitler.

this was intended to be more trivia than a central aspect of the hypothetical

Being Witch Hitler means it's pond time.

you're supposed to focus on cost-benefit analysis

The question as given is this, "You are a genocidal monster and former Queen of Norway who is now crippled. Would you support the noble king in his efforts to end the popular revolt against him by being his mascot in order to get tons of money and other stuff while others suffer for it. Or would you say no to him because you don't want to be a mascot."

[Ifreann]

Well since we're Witch Hitler, wheeling ourselves into the swamp would kill Witch Hitler.

the premise of the hypothetical is that you may or may not be

this was intended to be more trivia than a central aspect of the hypothetical

you're supposed to focus on cost-benefit analysis

Good thing you included this pointless trivia, it's clearly been a big help.

[Hammer Britannia]

the premise of the hypothetical is that you may or may not be

this was intended to be more trivia than a central aspect of the hypothetical

you're supposed to focus on cost-benefit analysis

Good thing you included this pointless trivia, it's clearly been a big help.

"You guys may be a literal genocidal maniac, but you might not. Now, make a decision based on what you think is best for you."

[Infected Mushroom]

Good thing you included this pointless trivia, it's clearly been a big help.

"You guys may be a literal genocidal maniac, but you might not. Now, make a decision based on what you think is best for you."

If you are, you don’t remember

For the purposes of the hypothetical memories are not returning anytime soon

[Caracasus]

Good thing you included this pointless trivia, it's clearly been a big help.

"You guys may be a literal genocidal maniac, but you might not. Now, make a decision based on what you think is best for you."

I mean if there's a slight chance you're actually witch hitler then there's also a chance that you're actually a duck that has been convinced it's a person.

So really, rolling quietly into the nearest pond covers all the bases here.

[Chan Island]

Good to see so many so enthusiastic for Witch Hitler to take on some impromptu swimming lessons.

[Infected Mushroom]

Good to see so many so enthusiastic for Witch Hitler to take on some impromptu swimming lessons.

Do nobles/high borns know how to swim?

[The Free Joy State]

Good to see so many so enthusiastic for Witch Hitler to take on some impromptu swimming lessons.

Do nobles/high borns know how to swim?

No. Prior to about 1830, swimming was practised by a few people -- almost all of them male.

In the Medieval period, water was viewed as a sinister "otherworld", populated by sea monsters and avoided by all those who did not make their living there -- in other words (from a Medieval perspective), it might be the perfect place for Witch Hitler.

[Hammer Britannia]

"You guys may be a literal genocidal maniac, but you might not. Now, make a decision based on what you think is best for you."

If you are, you don’t remember

For the purposes of the hypothetical memories are not returning anytime soon

Or you can, you know, NOT allude to the fact that I am Witch Hitler.

You could have just said "You are not even related to Witch Hitler" or just never bring it up. But nooooo, you had to say "maybe" which pretty much means "yes" given you. With that, the hypothetical has become diluted with the knowledge of being a genocidal war-mongerer and is little more than a contest to see how many bizarre ways men can find to throw a disabled person in a pond

[Infected Mushroom]

Do nobles/high borns know how to swim?

No. Prior to about 1830, swimming was practised by a few people -- almost all of them male.

In the Medieval period, water was viewed as a sinister "otherworld", populated by sea monsters and avoided by all those who did not make their living there -- in other words (from a Medieval perspective), it might be the perfect place for Witch Hitler.

then I see no reason to alter this

it is unlikely that Annie would have learned how to swim (not that it be useful anyways if she's crippled)

however, in the IM verse, all high born women are drilled/know how to fight with specialized ceremonial duelling blades/short swords; so even without magic, Annie is able to hold her own against commoners in fights if she has access to these types of weapons

obviously not as proficient as a full time knight but its still something; but everyone (magical or non magical) in the high born class must have some way of defending their personal honour if it comes to it

[Ifreann]

If you are, you don’t remember

For the purposes of the hypothetical memories are not returning anytime soon

Or you can, you know, NOT allude to the fact that I am Witch Hitler.

Why do we have to pretend to be any character at all? Even IM seems to realise that this is counter-productive, since the OP explicitly tells us to consider our real personality when answering.

[Hammer Britannia]

No. Prior to about 1830, swimming was practised by a few people -- almost all of them male.

In the Medieval period, water was viewed as a sinister "otherworld", populated by sea monsters and avoided by all those who did not make their living there -- in other words (from a Medieval perspective), it might be the perfect place for Witch Hitler.

then I see no reason to alter this

it is unlikely that Annie would have learned how to swim (not that it be useful anyways if she's crippled)

however, in the IM verse, all high born women are drilled/know how to fight with specialized ceremonial duelling blades/short swords; so even without magic, Annie is able to hold her own against commoners in fights if she has access to these types of weapons

obviously not as proficient as a full time knight but its still something; but everyone (magical or non magical) in the high born class must have some way of defending their personal honour if it comes to it

Okay, so it's not a maybe anymore. It's a yes.

Also

[Heloin]

No. Prior to about 1830, swimming was practised by a few people -- almost all of them male.

In the Medieval period, water was viewed as a sinister "otherworld", populated by sea monsters and avoided by all those who did not make their living there -- in other words (from a Medieval perspective), it might be the perfect place for Witch Hitler.

then I see no reason to alter this

it is unlikely that Annie would have learned how to swim (not that it be useful anyways if she's crippled)

however, in the IM verse, all high born women are drilled/know how to fight with specialized ceremonial duelling blades/short swords; so even without magic, Annie is able to hold her own against commoners in fights if she has access to these types of weapons

obviously not as proficient as a full time knight but its still something; but everyone (magical or non magical) in the high born class must have some way of defending their personal honour if it comes to it

So this is now full on bullshit anime middle ages.

Alrighty where's my wench with huge tracts of land.

[Hammer Britannia]

Or you can, you know, NOT allude to the fact that I am Witch Hitler.

Why do we have to pretend to be any character at all? Even IM seems to realise that this is counter-productive, since the OP explicitly tells us to consider our real personality when answering.

Hence why I heavily prefer your version. It's not you being a fictional character, it's just disabled you.

[Ifreann]

No. Prior to about 1830, swimming was practised by a few people -- almost all of them male.

In the Medieval period, water was viewed as a sinister "otherworld", populated by sea monsters and avoided by all those who did not make their living there -- in other words (from a Medieval perspective), it might be the perfect place for Witch Hitler.

then I see no reason to alter this

it is unlikely that Annie would have learned how to swim (not that it be useful anyways if she's crippled)

however, in the IM verse, all high born women are drilled/know how to fight with specialized ceremonial duelling blades/short swords; so even without magic, Annie is able to hold her own against commoners in fights if she has access to these types of weapons

obviously not as proficient as a full time knight but its still something; but everyone (magical or non magical) in the high born class must have some way of defending their personal honour if it comes to it

You really need to stop calling this Medieval Europe. It is nothing like Medieval Europe.

[Hammer Britannia]

then I see no reason to alter this

it is unlikely that Annie would have learned how to swim (not that it be useful anyways if she's crippled)

however, in the IM verse, all high born women are drilled/know how to fight with specialized ceremonial duelling blades/short swords; so even without magic, Annie is able to hold her own against commoners in fights if she has access to these types of weapons

obviously not as proficient as a full time knight but its still something; but everyone (magical or non magical) in the high born class must have some way of defending their personal honour if it comes to it

You really need to stop calling this Medieval Europe. It is nothing like Medieval Europe.

Shrek was a more accurate portrayal of Medieval Europe, and... yeah

[The Free Joy State]

No. Prior to about 1830, swimming was practised by a few people -- almost all of them male.

In the Medieval period, water was viewed as a sinister "otherworld", populated by sea monsters and avoided by all those who did not make their living there -- in other words (from a Medieval perspective), it might be the perfect place for Witch Hitler.

then I see no reason to alter this

it is unlikely that Annie would have learned how to swim (not that it be useful anyways if she's crippled)

Don't worry. A high level of swimming proficiency isn't required for sinking.

Or you can, you know, NOT allude to the fact that I am Witch Hitler.

Why do we have to pretend to be any character at all? Even IM seems to realise that this is counter-productive, since the OP explicitly tells us to consider our real personality when answering.

Exactly... How easy it would have been to avoid all this by not assigning a name (especially that of Witch Hitler) or a time period and asking a nice, simple modern-day hypothetical that allows you to be yourself -- considering how you'd behave if you (not a genocidal witch) were left severely physically disabled and entirely dependent and offered a chance at a cure if you'd promote a cause you couldn't believe in.

No genocidal witches, no inaccurate medieval period, no pushing for dictatorial kings, or need to completely disregard your own personality.

Simple.

[Hammer Britannia]

then I see no reason to alter this

it is unlikely that Annie would have learned how to swim (not that it be useful anyways if she's crippled)

Don't worry. A high level of swimming proficiency isn't required for sinking.

Why do we have to pretend to be any character at all? Even IM seems to realise that this is counter-productive, since the OP explicitly tells us to consider our real personality when answering.

Exactly... How easy it would have been to avoid all this by not assigning a name (especially that of Witch Hitler) or a time period and asking a nice, simple modern-day hypothetical that allows you to be yourself -- considering how you'd behave if you (not a genocidal witch) were left severely physically disabled and entirely dependent and offered a chance at a cure if you'd promote a cause you couldn't believe in.

No genocidal witches, no inaccurate medieval period, no pushing for dictatorial kings, or need to completely disregard your own personality.

Simple.

As for a bonus, 99% less fish sleeping

[Galloism]

then I see no reason to alter this

it is unlikely that Annie would have learned how to swim (not that it be useful anyways if she's crippled)

however, in the IM verse, all high born women are drilled/know how to fight with specialized ceremonial duelling blades/short swords; so even without magic, Annie is able to hold her own against commoners in fights if she has access to these types of weapons

obviously not as proficient as a full time knight but its still something; but everyone (magical or non magical) in the high born class must have some way of defending their personal honour if it comes to it

So this is now full on bullshit anime middle ages.

Alrighty where's my wench with huge tracts of land.

I know ... but ... I want the girl that I marry to have ... a certain ... special ... something ...

[Infected Mushroom]

then I see no reason to alter this

it is unlikely that Annie would have learned how to swim (not that it be useful anyways if she's crippled)

however, in the IM verse, all high born women are drilled/know how to fight with specialized ceremonial duelling blades/short swords; so even without magic, Annie is able to hold her own against commoners in fights if she has access to these types of weapons

obviously not as proficient as a full time knight but its still something; but everyone (magical or non magical) in the high born class must have some way of defending their personal honour if it comes to it

You really need to stop calling this Medieval Europe. It is nothing like Medieval Europe.

it's the same thing EXCEPT (a list of things)