Dating is at a Record Low: Another Dating Thread

[Kowani]

Never dated due to being almost comically socially incompetent. in one such instance a girl flat out gave me her number, the latency on "she might like me" was about 2 years. I also once gave a girl a strawberry in an origami box as a valentine's present.

fate has decided I shall be loveless, and I lack the motivation to challenge it

…An origami box?

[Costa Fierro]

Honestly, it is way easier to get to know someone as a friend before turning a relationship romantic.

There's a rule for this. It is "don't shit where you eat".

[New haven america]

Honestly, it is way easier to get to know someone as a friend before turning a relationship romantic.

There's a rule for this. It is "don't shit where you eat".

This isn't Reddit, Costa, not everyone has the same irrational fear of socialization, commitment, and responsibility as a lot of Reddit does.

[Costa Fierro]

There's a rule for this. It is "don't shit where you eat".

This isn't Reddit, Costa, not everyone has the same irrational fear of socialization, commitment, and responsibility as a lot of Reddit does.

It's not so much a fear of commitment, it's more "don't make things worse". Same reason why it'd not be a good idea to date coworkers. Plus making someone your friend and then asking them out gives the impression that you're only interested in sex by stealth anyway.

[Kowani]

This isn't Reddit, Costa, not everyone has the same irrational fear of socialization, commitment, and responsibility as a lot of Reddit does.

It's not so much a fear of commitment, it's more "don't make things worse". Same reason why it'd not be a good idea to date coworkers. Plus making someone your friend and then asking them out gives the impression that you're only interested in sex by stealth anyway.

I don’t know, it’s how I met my current girlfriend.

[New haven america]

This isn't Reddit, Costa, not everyone has the same irrational fear of socialization, commitment, and responsibility as a lot of Reddit does.

1. It's not so much a fear of commitment, it's more "don't make things worse". 2. Same reason why it'd not be a good idea to date coworkers. 3. Plus making someone your friend and then asking them out gives the impression that you're only interested in sex by stealth anyway.

1. Yes it is.
2. Yes it actually is. If you're not making an attempt to go out and socialize (Hobby groups, bars and clubs, classes, etc...) work is the best way to find a partner for adults, and coworker marriages are usually pretty common and successful.
3. What if you want to be friends with them first and them want something more later on?

[Saiwania]

2. Yes it actually is. If you're not making an attempt to go out and socialize (Hobby groups, bars and clubs, classes, etc...) work is the best way to find a partner for adults, and coworker marriages are usually pretty common and successful.

No! No, no- no. Maybe it is the case in some countries that workplace relationships are accepted, but for a lot of developed countries (including the US) romantic relationships at work can only possibly backfire or hurt your career. If it impacts your work, you basically get fired or demoted. The moment someone higher up than you has a personal reason to not like you anymore, they'll maybe try to sabotage you.

Not mixing business with pleasure, seems to be what works the best to maintain the most professional image and narrative possible. You want to impress people with your abilities and work but don't want any of your personal life to be known more than it has to.

I'd say you can date people from work if you want, but this is a bit of a risk and ideally, it has to be done "off the clock" strictly speaking.

[Bear Stearns]

1. It's not so much a fear of commitment, it's more "don't make things worse". 2. Same reason why it'd not be a good idea to date coworkers. 3. Plus making someone your friend and then asking them out gives the impression that you're only interested in sex by stealth anyway.

1. Yes it is.
2. Yes it actually is. If you're not making an attempt to go out and socialize (Hobby groups, bars and clubs, classes, etc...) work is the best way to find a partner for adults, and coworker marriages are usually pretty common and successful.
3. What if you want to be friends with them first and them want something more later on?

In today's corporate America, dating coworkers is like walking through a minefield. Especially when power dynamics and conflicts of interest arise.

It's generally not advised to date people within your company. In fact, it's a pretty good way to get fired.

[New haven america]

2. Yes it actually is. If you're not making an attempt to go out and socialize (Hobby groups, bars and clubs, classes, etc...) work is the best way to find a partner for adults, and coworker marriages are usually pretty common and successful.

No! No, no- no. Maybe it is the case in some countries that workplace relationships are accepted, but for a lot of developed countries (including the US) romantic relationships at work can only possibly backfire or hurt your career. If it impacts your work, you basically get fired or demoted. The moment someone higher up than you has a personal reason to not like you anymore, they'll maybe try to sabotage you.

Not mixing business with pleasure, seems to be what works the best to maintain the most professional image and narrative possible.

1. Yes it is.
2. Yes it actually is. If you're not making an attempt to go out and socialize (Hobby groups, bars and clubs, classes, etc...) work is the best way to find a partner for adults, and coworker marriages are usually pretty common and successful.
3. What if you want to be friends with them first and them want something more later on?

In today's corporate America, dating coworkers is like walking through a minefield. Especially when power dynamics and conflicts of interest arise.

It's generally not advised to date people within your company.

It's funny that you keep saying that, considering most of the most successful relationships I've seen have been between either coworkers or worker/regular customer.

And this thread has a large amount of people saying dating today is impossible. Hm...

[Bear Stearns]

No! No, no- no. Maybe it is the case in some countries that workplace relationships are accepted, but for a lot of developed countries (including the US) romantic relationships at work can only possibly backfire or hurt your career. If it impacts your work, you basically get fired or demoted. The moment someone higher up than you has a personal reason to not like you anymore, they'll maybe try to sabotage you.

Not mixing business with pleasure, seems to be what works the best to maintain the most professional image and narrative possible.

In today's corporate America, dating coworkers is like walking through a minefield. Especially when power dynamics and conflicts of interest arise.

It's generally not advised to date people within your company.

It's funny that you keep saying that, considering most of the most successful relationships I've seen have been between either coworkers or worker/regular customer.

And this thread has a large amount of people saying dating today is impossible. Hm...

Maybe it's different at your regular retail job, but in most corporate office environments, they actually have written policies against it. You will get fired for doing so.

I have my old employment contract from when I used to work at a Fortune 500 financial services company, and it comes with a Code of Conduct booklet. I'll try to find it and take a picture of the paragraph that explicitly covers this. When I first started, we had a training/orientation period and one of the seminars was explicitly on not to do this.

You will get fired for dating coworkers unless you report the relationship to HR and request a transfer to another department. Similarly, having relationships with clients will also get you fired, and when non-public financial information is involved, it can get you in trouble with the law.

It is common for many married couples to be from the same company (see it happen all the time), but they are almost always from different departments or offices, or if they are from the same office/department, one of the partners usually moves to another role or quits the company entirely. In fact, HR kind of encourages this to happen.

[Costa Fierro]

Yes it is.

It's not, it's your projecting your own assumptions.

Yes it actually is. If you're not making an attempt to go out and socialize (Hobby groups, bars and clubs, classes, etc...) work is the best way to find a partner for adults, and coworker marriages are usually pretty common and successful.

Most professional environments very much discourage relationships between coworkers and between customers and workers.

What if you want to be friends with them first and them want something more later on?

Usually you enter something with the intent of achieving something beforehand. Suddenly catching feelings is usually a cover for wanting to get someone in bed without being overly ambitious about it.

Maybe it's different at your regular retail job, but in most corporate office environments, they actually have written policies against it. You will get fired for doing so.

I have my old employment contract from when I used to work at a Fortune 500 financial services company, and it comes with a Code of Conduct booklet. I'll try to find it and take a picture of the paragraph that explicitly covers this. When I first started, we had a training/orientation period and one of the seminars was explicitly on not to do this.

You will get fired for dating coworkers unless you report the relationship to HR and request a transfer to another department. Similarly, having relationships with clients will also get you fired, and when non-public financial information is involved, it can get you in trouble with the law.

It is common for many married couples to be from the same company (see it happen all the time), but they are almost always from different departments or offices, or if they are from the same office/department, one of the partners usually moves to another role or quits the company entirely. In fact, HR kind of encourages this to happen.

Indeed. I think it's something to do with taxes or something like that especially if a company knew about the relationship, but its also probably to avoid issues if the relationship goes sour.

Casual jobs are probably not as stringent but definitely professional environments would really crack down on this kind of thing.

[Bear Stearns]

Maybe it's different at your regular retail job, but in most corporate office environments, they actually have written policies against it. You will get fired for doing so.

I have my old employment contract from when I used to work at a Fortune 500 financial services company, and it comes with a Code of Conduct booklet. I'll try to find it and take a picture of the paragraph that explicitly covers this. When I first started, we had a training/orientation period and one of the seminars was explicitly on not to do this.

You will get fired for dating coworkers unless you report the relationship to HR and request a transfer to another department. Similarly, having relationships with clients will also get you fired, and when non-public financial information is involved, it can get you in trouble with the law.

It is common for many married couples to be from the same company (see it happen all the time), but they are almost always from different departments or offices, or if they are from the same office/department, one of the partners usually moves to another role or quits the company entirely. In fact, HR kind of encourages this to happen.

Indeed. I think it's something to do with taxes or something like that especially if a company knew about the relationship, but its also probably to avoid issues if the relationship goes sour.

Casual jobs are probably not as stringent but definitely professional environments would really crack down on this kind of thing.

Lots of potential issues can arise:
-Power dynamics can lead to coercion or unfair career advancement, both of which can damage the reputation of the firm, its legal standing, and employee morale
-Conflicts of interest can impact performance (i.e. having to choose between your employer and your partner)
-Alienating to other coworkers (i.e. people act different around Karen since she started dating the boss)

In the era of #MeToo, most companies aren't taking any chances.

[Luminesa]

Never dated due to being almost comically socially incompetent. in one such instance a girl flat out gave me her number, the latency on "she might like me" was about 2 years. I also once gave a girl a strawberry in an origami box as a valentine's present.

fate has decided I shall be loveless, and I lack the motivation to challenge it

…An origami box?

Origami is difficult, I would be quite touched if someone gave me an origami present. I can't fold paper at all, never mind make a paper crane. Trust me, I've tried.

But perhaps I should try again!

[Crysuko]

…An origami box?

Origami is difficult, I would be quite touched if someone gave me an origami present. I can't fold paper at all, never mind make a paper crane. Trust me, I've tried.

But perhaps I should try again!

The end result was me being a laughing stock for about 3 years. pls don't.

[Rojava Free State]

Origami is difficult, I would be quite touched if someone gave me an origami present. I can't fold paper at all, never mind make a paper crane. Trust me, I've tried.

But perhaps I should try again!

The end result was me being a laughing stock for about 3 years. pls don't.

We all like to do nice things for people, even if those nice things are viewed as odd

Sometimes (most times) our acts of goodwill either go unappreciated or are mocked openly, and for some people, it can leave them bitter and furious for years to come

[Kowani]

Origami is difficult, I would be quite touched if someone gave me an origami present. I can't fold paper at all, never mind make a paper crane. Trust me, I've tried.

But perhaps I should try again!

The end result was me being a laughing stock for about 3 years. pls don't.

Aww…
That’s a shame.

[Rojava Free State]

Never dated due to being almost comically socially incompetent. in one such instance a girl flat out gave me her number, the latency on "she might like me" was about 2 years. I also once gave a girl a strawberry in an origami box as a valentine's present.

fate has decided I shall be loveless, and I lack the motivation to challenge it

My steps to getting a new girlfriend are literally as follows:

Step 1. Buy a damn car, preferably a 65 chevelle or 73 gran torino.

Step 2. Tell a girl she's cute and maybe we could hang out sometime

Step 3. Hopefully it works

Step 4. That's it, there's no more steps

If that sounds awkward as hell, it's because it is and the only reason I've honestly had girlfriends is probably because of divine intervention of some kind. I'm a somewhat shy and awkward person in real life and when I plan out what I'm gonna say in my head, it comes out horrible

My pick up line: my beautiful sweetheart, come with me back to the casbar

What I actually end up saying: so uh y-you wanna go out and see a film some time maybe like you know uh er deh uh y-y-y-you sshejdiejnekdkchabne"

[Costa Fierro]

Why buy yank tanks when we know girls love Honda Civics.

[Thepeopl]

Never dated due to being almost comically socially incompetent. in one such instance a girl flat out gave me her number, the latency on "she might like me" was about 2 years. I also once gave a girl a strawberry in an origami box as a valentine's present.

fate has decided I shall be loveless, and I lack the motivation to challenge it

My steps to getting a new girlfriend are literally as follows:

Step 1. Buy a damn car, preferably a 65 chevelle or 73 gran torino.

Step 2. Tell a girl she's cute and maybe we could hang out sometime

Step 3. Hopefully it works

Step 4. That's it, there's no more steps

If that sounds awkward as hell, it's because it is and the only reason I've honestly had girlfriends is probably because of divine intervention of some kind. I'm a somewhat shy and awkward person in real life and when I plan out what I'm gonna say in my head, it comes out horrible

My pick up line: my beautiful sweetheart, come with me back to the casbar

What I actually end up saying: so uh y-you wanna go out and see a film some time maybe like you know uh er deh uh y-y-y-you sshejdiejnekdkchabne"

What is a casbar?

And have fun with hanging out.

[Alvecia]

My steps to getting a new girlfriend are literally as follows:

Step 1. Buy a damn car, preferably a 65 chevelle or 73 gran torino.

Step 2. Tell a girl she's cute and maybe we could hang out sometime

Step 3. Hopefully it works

Step 4. That's it, there's no more steps

If that sounds awkward as hell, it's because it is and the only reason I've honestly had girlfriends is probably because of divine intervention of some kind. I'm a somewhat shy and awkward person in real life and when I plan out what I'm gonna say in my head, it comes out horrible

My pick up line: my beautiful sweetheart, come with me back to the casbar

What I actually end up saying: so uh y-you wanna go out and see a film some time maybe like you know uh er deh uh y-y-y-you sshejdiejnekdkchabne"

What is a casbar?

Dunno, but I’ve got a sudden urge to rock it.

[Nakena]

Never dated due to being almost comically socially incompetent. in one such instance a girl flat out gave me her number, the latency on "she might like me" was about 2 years. I also once gave a girl a strawberry in an origami box as a valentine's present.

fate has decided I shall be loveless, and I lack the motivation to challenge it

My steps to getting a new girlfriend are literally as follows:

Step 1. Buy a damn car, preferably a 65 chevelle or 73 gran torino.

Step 2. Tell a girl she's cute and maybe we could hang out sometime

Step 3. Hopefully it works

Step 4. That's it, there's no more steps

If that sounds awkward as hell, it's because it is and the only reason I've honestly had girlfriends is probably because of divine intervention of some kind. I'm a somewhat shy and awkward person in real life and when I plan out what I'm gonna say in my head, it comes out horrible

My pick up line: my beautiful sweetheart, come with me back to the casbar

What I actually end up saying: so uh y-you wanna go out and see a film some time maybe like you know uh er deh uh y-y-y-you sshejdiejnekdkchabne"

No dodge muscle car?

[The Huskar Social Union]

Chicks dig tanks.



Just get a tank.

[Costa Fierro]

Chicks dig tanks.



Just get a tank.

Tanks cost too much to fuel, not enough money left over for food.

Plus tank not good for in-vehicle coitus.

[Rojava Free State]

My steps to getting a new girlfriend are literally as follows:

Step 1. Buy a damn car, preferably a 65 chevelle or 73 gran torino.

Step 2. Tell a girl she's cute and maybe we could hang out sometime

Step 3. Hopefully it works

Step 4. That's it, there's no more steps

If that sounds awkward as hell, it's because it is and the only reason I've honestly had girlfriends is probably because of divine intervention of some kind. I'm a somewhat shy and awkward person in real life and when I plan out what I'm gonna say in my head, it comes out horrible

My pick up line: my beautiful sweetheart, come with me back to the casbar

What I actually end up saying: so uh y-you wanna go out and see a film some time maybe like you know uh er deh uh y-y-y-you sshejdiejnekdkchabne"

What is a casbar?

And have fun with hanging out.

An Arabic marketplace. Remember that I'm in the Detroit area so that's a thing here.

I was mainly imitating this charming dude I saw on tv once, and comparing that kind of pick up line to what usually comes out my mouth.

[United States of Americanas]

25 is rather high especially with no sexual success.

To go on repeated dates with 25 people and for all of them to go nowhere bedroom-wise is honestly astounding. Sure, if the person was asexual then that'd be the most obvious explanation, but there hasn't been any indication of that. An alternative explanation is that they take the no sex before marriage thing very seriously.

DING DING DING DING!

You’re the grand prize winner! I’m asexual!

You win a gigantic box of nothing, your giant box of nothing will be delivered to your front door tomorrow.

I’ve had long term relationships with many of those people but they eventually turned into social media relationships that fizzled out particularly when in 2016 I detected the election hack happening via Facebook & Twitter and thusly closed my account instantly out of disgust.

Social media does more harm than good these days.

People don’t actually do things together anymore as much as they sit tweeting and facebooking each other.

Now I actually go bowling with friends actually go to the pool hall and movie theatre.

You want to actually socialize. Pick up the phone and call me and let’s meet at the bar.