NationStates

Great Minarchistan wrote:

Rojava Free State wrote:
Yeah it seemed like a shit ton of people in my school were having sex but then again most of them were that main in crowd group. I don't think anyone else was actually doing it that much

Maybe, though by age 17 half of the men (and moreso for women) have lost their virginity already

Ghost Land wrote:

Rojava Free State wrote:
Well you must have been at a good school

When it comes to my high school experience, I was in the mouth of madness

It actually sucked. My high school was ranked toward the bottom of the state rankings in terms of academic achievement, had a very high percentage of students on free and reduced lunch, and suffered from what seemed to me a high percentage of incompetent teachers (though that was one of the constants the whole way up from K-12)...but everyone always had enough money for name-brand clothes and the newest technology of the time, and there was very little in the way of social excitement at that place. If there were problems with violence or drug use, I never knew about them; that said, I never felt entirely safe there, largely because I felt administration had a personal vendetta against me. My social life was in general lacking as I wasn't interested in sports, the latest technology and music fads, or sex, and it didn't help that I had the stigma of an IEP (Individualized Education Plan; they thought I had autism from second grade up even though no doctor has, at any point in my life, even mentioned the word) or that my shallow classmates generally knew me for one thing: "Ghost Land iz sooo smuurt" and refused to get to know me better than those stereotypes (my grades were good, but not excellent, and whenever anybody said school came so easy for me, I wanted to punch their face in). Most of the stuff other kids found interesting and fun (school sport events, school dances) I did not, and few people were interested in the stuff I was (weather, music, roads, Mexico, and coins being among my biggest interests); the fact that I was a political polar opposite to 95% of the kids in my grade didn't help either.

Bringing that big rambly paragraph on topic, I never dated in middle or high school, though as mentioned, I was probably one of less than ten percent of my grade who didn't. Dating/relationship/sexual drama was for the most part what the rumour mill at our school consisted of, and I'm sure I myself contributed a bit to it; while I didn't date, I was very much girl-crazy, beginning in late seventh grade, which meant I had lots of crushes, and because of just how girl-crazy and desperate I was, often multiple at a time. I was most attracted to the de facto popular girls, who were the ones who played sports and were generally quite pretty; I hung around them a lot and they ended up comprising most of my closest friends, even though I probably was never "hot enough" in their eyes (short, borderline overweight, and baby-faced, to the point people routinely guessed my age as 12 even when I was 15-16, where they were in general into the male football and basketball players). Even though I didn't date, I did get jealous and desperate when everyone else was in firmly established cliques and had various significant others, and I had a lacking social life and no girlfriend; while I never wanted to date in the traditional sense, I still craved companionship and something resembling assurance I wouldn't die alone with no one my age who loved me.

I currently am not in a relationship, for the record, and I'm fine with that; as I said in my original post in this thread, "dating culture" just seems like a lame, overly complicated set of rules anyway.

Neko-koku wrote:

Great Minarchistan wrote:Maybe, though by age 17 half of the men (and moreso for women) have lost their virginity already

Do you think this is healthy?

Neko-koku wrote:

Great Minarchistan wrote:Maybe, though by age 17 half of the men (and moreso for women) have lost their virginity already

Do you think this is healthy?

Ethel mermania wrote:

Neko-koku wrote:Do you think this is healthy?

Doesnt hurt.

Neko-koku wrote:

Great Minarchistan wrote:Maybe, though by age 17 half of the men (and moreso for women) have lost their virginity already

Do you think this is healthy?

Socialist Heronia wrote:

Neko-koku wrote:Do you think this is healthy?

nein. dating and losing virginity young just seems absolutely stupid to me.

Socialist Heronia wrote:

Neko-koku wrote:Do you think this is healthy?

nein. dating and losing virginity young just seems absolutely stupid to me.

The South Falls wrote:

Socialist Heronia wrote:nein. dating and losing virginity young just seems absolutely stupid to me.

16-17 is a chill age to start. 15, maybe. 13-14, don't. Younger, hell no.

Neko-koku wrote:

The South Falls wrote:16-17 is a chill age to start. 15, maybe. 13-14, don't. Younger, hell no.

You are African, right?

The South Falls wrote:

Neko-koku wrote:
You are African, right?

Is my school that fucked? oh no

Socialist Heronia wrote:

Neko-koku wrote:Do you think this is healthy?

nein. dating and losing virginity young just seems absolutely stupid to me.

Ethel mermania wrote:Because sitting alone and playing with yourself is oh so much better.

Saiwania wrote:

Ethel mermania wrote:Because sitting alone and playing with yourself is oh so much better.

If someone doesn't have what it takes to get laid, nothing wrong with them not trying. If people truly believe Charles Darwin, it should be accepted as the norm that people in life will divide into winners and losers so far as different things go.

Neko-koku wrote:

Great Minarchistan wrote:Maybe, though by age 17 half of the men (and moreso for women) have lost their virginity already

Do you think this is healthy?

Ethel mermania wrote:Because sitting alone and playing with yourself is oh so much better.

Great Minarchistan wrote:

Rojava Free State wrote:
Yeah it seemed like a shit ton of people in my school were having sex but then again most of them were that main in crowd group. I don't think anyone else was actually doing it that much

Maybe, though by age 17 half of the men (and moreso for women) have lost their virginity already

Neko-koku wrote:

Great Minarchistan wrote:Maybe, though by age 17 half of the men (and moreso for women) have lost their virginity already

Do you think this is healthy?

Kernen wrote:

Neko-koku wrote:Do you think this is healthy?

What on earth is unhealthy about that?

Thepeopl wrote:

Kernen wrote:What on earth is unhealthy about that?

STDs, pregnancies/ abortions (either by map or surgical means), low self esteem, sex addiction. Just to name some possible unhealthy consequences.

My son is 14 at the moment, he has his first gf, and we have talked about safe sex, how no means no and both parties are allowed to say no, how open communication is key to a good relationship.
Would I mind him having sex? No. Would I advise/ enable it? Hell no

Costa Fierro wrote:

Ethel mermania wrote:Because sitting alone and playing with yourself is oh so much better.

It will still happen whether you're married or not. A ring on a finger doesn't mean unlimited sex. More often than not it means absolutely no sex whatsoever.

Thepeopl wrote:

Kernen wrote:What on earth is unhealthy about that?

STDs, pregnancies/ abortions (either by map or surgical means), low self esteem, sex addiction. Just to name some possible unhealthy consequences.

My son is 14 at the moment, he has his first gf, and we have talked about safe sex, how no means no and both parties are allowed to say no, how open communication is key to a good relationship.
Would I mind him having sex? No. Would I advise/ enable it? Hell no

Ghost Land wrote:

Thepeopl wrote:STDs, pregnancies/ abortions (either by map or surgical means), low self esteem, sex addiction. Just to name some possible unhealthy consequences.

My son is 14 at the moment, he has his first gf, and we have talked about safe sex, how no means no and both parties are allowed to say no, how open communication is key to a good relationship.
Would I mind him having sex? No. Would I advise/ enable it? Hell no

For the record, I would totally not allow my child to date at the age of 14. Coitus would especially be 100% off the table. People at that age are in general too hormone- and drama-addled as it stands, and when you add schoolwork and the middle-high school transition at that age on top of everything, that just sounds like a mess one shouldn't add a girlfriend, let alone a sexual relationship, to. I considered myself "too young to date" the entire time I was having multiple crushes at a time in high school; while I'm all for healthy expressions of normal adolescent sexuality (which naturally include infatuation and lust), I see dating as the predominant American form of courtship, and if you're not ready to find the person to settle down with, you're not ready to date IMO. I'm also a believer in no coitus until marriage.

Ghost Land wrote:

Thepeopl wrote:

Page wrote:

Ghost Land wrote:

It's not all about finding a person to spend the rest of your life with. In fact, I think it would be much healthier for teenagers to realize the person they're interested in almost certainly won't be there for the rest of their life or even the rest of the year, so that it doesn't feel like the end of the world when the relationship ends, and so relationships don't become so codependent that kids forget to live their life outside of the relationship.

I'm married now, I found the person I want to stay with the rest of my life, but I definitely don't regret the time with any of my past partners, FWBs, and hook ups. It wasn't a waste of time because it wasn't about finding a life partner. We all seek to make connections, we seek self-discovery, we seek knowledge and emotions are information. There are reasons beside true love to pursue these connections.

Most people have fond memories of their first kiss even if they don't remember that person's last name (mine was something Latino that started with an A). We didn't love each. We weren't even "going out." But it was a rite of passage fulfilled, and it gave me confidence desperately needed at age 15. Those moments count for a lot