Right-Wing Discussion Thread XVII: The Snark Enlightenment

[Old Tyrannia]

We inside your home and we ain't leaving until all the money gone.

Do pardon my language, but what the hell are you posting, mate? Are these rap lyrics or something?

Wait, aren't you American? Seeing you use the word "mate" is kind of jarring, especially given you seem to be from a fairly well-to-do background.

[Fahran]

Not until you stop abusing conservatism.

We inside your home and we ain't leaving until all the money gone.

This is why you should entrust your money to my people. OEP is too busy dating us to try to steal it.

[Bear Stearns]

We inside your home and we ain't leaving until all the money gone.

This is why you should entrust your money to my people. OEP is too busy dating us to try to steal it.

Bear Stearns offers private banking and wealth management services.

[Fahran]

Bear Stearns offers private banking and wealth management services.

Y'all don't have the most... impeccable of records.

[The Supreme Magnificent High Swaglord]

Do pardon my language, but what the hell are you posting, mate? Are these rap lyrics or something?

Wait, aren't you American? Seeing you use the word "mate" is kind of jarring, especially given you seem to be from a fairly well-to-do background.

I am indeed American, and rather proud of my country (as is to be expected given my prior posts); my background is indeed well-to-do, very much so in fact. However, I have a quite a few online acquaintances from your part of the Anglosphere, working-class ones, and some aspects of their speech/writing patterns have "worn off" on me, if that makes sense.

[Old Tyrannia]

Wait, aren't you American? Seeing you use the word "mate" is kind of jarring, especially given you seem to be from a fairly well-to-do background.

I am indeed American, and rather proud of my country (as is to be expected given my prior posts); my background is indeed well-to-do, very much so in fact. However, I have a quite a few online acquaintances from your part of the Anglosphere, working-class ones, and some aspects of their speech/writing patterns have "worn off" on me, if that makes sense.

Let me know if I ever start speaking like an American, so that I may flagellate myself as appropriate.

[Bear Stearns]

I am indeed American, and rather proud of my country (as is to be expected given my prior posts); my background is indeed well-to-do, very much so in fact. However, I have a quite a few online acquaintances from your part of the Anglosphere, working-class ones, and some aspects of their speech/writing patterns have "worn off" on me, if that makes sense.

Let me know if I ever start speaking like an American, so that I may flagellate myself as appropriate.

I speak like the most polished of Yankee Northerners.

1) No regional accent
2) Pronounce every sound in a word (for example do not drop the -g sound in words ending in -ing)
3) Speak in as much golf, sailing, or sports jargon as possible
4) Always have a slight smile

[Bear Stearns]

Bear Stearns offers private banking and wealth management services.

Y'all don't have the most... impeccable of records.

We were considered the most conservative of Wall Street banks for a time.

[United Muscovite Nations]

Let me know if I ever start speaking like an American, so that I may flagellate myself as appropriate.

I speak like the most polished of Yankee Northerners.

1) No regional accent
2) Pronounce every sound in a word (for example do not drop the -g sound in words ending in -ing)
3) Speak in as much golf, sailing, or sports jargon as possible
4) Always have a slight smile

I used to be that way, but lately I've started getting a southern twang and dropping the -g.

[Bear Stearns]

I speak like the most polished of Yankee Northerners.

1) No regional accent
2) Pronounce every sound in a word (for example do not drop the -g sound in words ending in -ing)
3) Speak in as much golf, sailing, or sports jargon as possible
4) Always have a slight smile

I used to be that way, but lately I've started getting a southern twang and dropping the -g.

Chris Hansen best approximates the most ideal way of speaking for Americans. Crisp and clear.

[The Supreme Magnificent High Swaglord]

I am indeed American, and rather proud of my country (as is to be expected given my prior posts); my background is indeed well-to-do, very much so in fact. However, I have a quite a few online acquaintances from your part of the Anglosphere, working-class ones, and some aspects of their speech/writing patterns have "worn off" on me, if that makes sense.

Let me know if I ever start speaking like an American, so that I may flagellate myself as appropriate.

As someone who has struggled with self-harm in the past, I politely implore you to reconsider doing that.

In addition, while the following resources are oriented towards suicide prevention, I believe that they may nevertheless be of use: viewtopic.php?f=20&t=285075

Please OT, don't flagellate yourself. I repeat: don't flagellate yourself.

[Old Tyrannia]

Let me know if I ever start speaking like an American, so that I may flagellate myself as appropriate.

I speak like the most polished of Yankee Northerners.

1) No regional accent
2) Pronounce every sound in a word (for example do not drop the -g sound in words ending in -ing)
3) Speak in as much golf, sailing, or sports jargon as possible
4) Always have a slight smile

I'm not really sure what my accent sounds like; I've had conflicting reports, and it's hard for me to judge it myself. As best as I can tell, it's fairly close to RP, but with a slight West Country twang. And I can go a bit Glaswegian when I've spent any length of time in the ancestral homeland, or, hilariously, when I really lose my temper.

[Crysuko]

Let me know if I ever start speaking like an American, so that I may flagellate myself as appropriate.

As someone who has struggled with self-harm in the past, I politely implore you to reconsider doing that.

In addition, while the following resources are oriented towards suicide prevention, I believe that they may nevertheless be of use: viewtopic.php?f=20&t=285075

Please OT, don't flagellate yourself. I repeat: don't flagellate yourself.

I get what you're doing here, but from context it's entirely intended as a slightly dark joke

[Old Tyrannia]

Let me know if I ever start speaking like an American, so that I may flagellate myself as appropriate.

As someone who has struggled with self-harm in the past, I politely implore you to reconsider doing that.

In addition, while the following resources are oriented towards suicide prevention, I believe that they may nevertheless be of use: viewtopic.php?f=20&t=285075

Please OT, don't flagellate yourself. I repeat: don't flagellate yourself.

Your inability to detect humour is showing again, Swaglord.

[Jolthig]

I am indeed American, and rather proud of my country (as is to be expected given my prior posts); my background is indeed well-to-do, very much so in fact. However, I have a quite a few online acquaintances from your part of the Anglosphere, working-class ones, and some aspects of their speech/writing patterns have "worn off" on me, if that makes sense.

Let me know if I ever start speaking like an American, so that I may flagellate myself as appropriate.

Okay, muate.

^Btw, I used to do that with a buddy of mine as a joke.

[The Supreme Magnificent High Swaglord]

Let me know if I ever start speaking like an American, so that I may flagellate myself as appropriate.

I speak like the most polished of Yankee Northerners.

1) No regional accent
2) Pronounce every sound in a word (for example do not drop the -g sound in words ending in -ing)
3) Speak in as much golf, sailing, or sports jargon as possible
4) Always have a slight smile

Well, I suppose that 3/4 isn't awful...

1) I lack the distinct "coal cracker" accent possessed by most who hail from the coal region of NEPA. +1 Point.
2) My speech is properly and crisply enunciated in a manner mildly akin to how newscasters are trained to speak. +1 Point.
3) I've never been particularly inclined to sports. No points.
4) Mannerisms and body language befitting a pleasant disposition, in accordance with standard American custom. +1 Point.

[Camelone]

F. Something similar happened to me today in my Hebrew class, I studied the wrong material for the quiz.

Wait, are you in high school or are you in university?

University. Roughly two more years for my undergraduate.

[The Supreme Magnificent High Swaglord]

As someone who has struggled with self-harm in the past, I politely implore you to reconsider doing that.

In addition, while the following resources are oriented towards suicide prevention, I believe that they may nevertheless be of use: viewtopic.php?f=20&t=285075

Please OT, don't flagellate yourself. I repeat: don't flagellate yourself.

Your inability to detect humour is showing again, Swaglord.

I mean, I had suspicions that it was an attempt at (bleak/dark) humor, but I figured that I wouldn't take any chances in this regard.

[The Supreme Magnificent High Swaglord]

Wait, are you in high school or are you in university?

University. Roughly two more years for my undergraduate.

Which part of the world, if I may ask? Since you're a fellow American (or at the very least that's the impression that I've been given), I'll also ask which part of the country.

[Jolthig]

Your inability to detect humour is showing again, Swaglord.

I mean, I had suspicions that it was an attempt at (bleak/dark) humor, but I figured that I wouldn't take any chances in this regard.

[Old Tyrannia]

Your inability to detect humour is showing again, Swaglord.

I mean, I had suspicions that it was an attempt at (bleak/dark) humor, but I figured that I wouldn't take any chances in this regard.

Your concern for me, whilst misplaced, is touching.

In truth, I don't dislike all American accents. I quite like the Deep South accent, and although it's not a "natural" dialect I'm also quite fond of the Mid-Atlantic accent.

[United Muscovite Nations]

I mean, I had suspicions that it was an attempt at (bleak/dark) humor, but I figured that I wouldn't take any chances in this regard.

Your concern for me, whilst misplaced, is touching.

In truth, I don't dislike all American accents. I quite like the Deep South accent, and although it's not a "natural" dialect I'm also quite fond of the Mid-Atlantic accent.

What is your idea of the deep south accent?

[The Supreme Magnificent High Swaglord]

I mean, I had suspicions that it was an attempt at (bleak/dark) humor, but I figured that I wouldn't take any chances in this regard.

Your concern for me, whilst misplaced, is touching.

In truth, I don't dislike all American accents. I quite like the Deep South accent, and although it's not a "natural" dialect I'm also quite fond of the Mid-Atlantic accent.

One of the aforementioned online acquaintances from the UK noticed that the working-class "coal cracker" accent has some linguistic similarities to other parts of the Anglosphere that were subject to heavy industrialization (which has been long dead, due to economic shifts)... IIRC the example they gave was the Black Country.

[Camelone]

University. Roughly two more years for my undergraduate.

Which part of the world, if I may ask? Since you're a fellow American (or at the very least that's the impression that I've been given), I'll also ask which part of the country.

The Northeast, and I’ll say that the Northeast has the best weather in all of America.

[The Supreme Magnificent High Swaglord]

Which part of the world, if I may ask? Since you're a fellow American (or at the very least that's the impression that I've been given), I'll also ask which part of the country.

The Northeast, and I’ll say that the Northeast has the best weather in all of America.

New England or the Mid-Atlantic?