Plural Marriages

[Xmara]

This raises a lot of questions for me. Probably because I don’t know the first thing about how polygamy works.

Who would take whose last name? Or would they just compound their last names into some kind of multi-barreled FrankenName? Or would they keep their own last names?

How would sleeping arrangements work?

If they have a child, what would the child’s birth certificate look like? How would the child address their parents? What would parent-teacher conferences look like?

If one person wanted out, but everyone else wanted to remain married, then how would the divorce work? Who would get custody of the kids?

This is confusing to me.

[Bluelight-R006]

True, plural marriages can work out if the marriage mates have decided on how to handle the equality in the group, but that can’t be trusted all the time.

And really, polygamy is allowed as much as I know; it’s just that most people decide that they only have one true love. Personally I’d find it difficult to spend time with more than 1 spouse.

No it's not, that's why we're having this thread.

It’s not? It is in some countries.

[Pacomia]

So, basically you’re advocating for the legalisation of polygamy.

***MORMONS 100***

[New haven america]

No it's not, that's why we're having this thread.

It’s not? It is in some countries.

In the majority of countries, including the entirety of the western world, it is not.

Even in the countries where it's legal, only polygyny is, polyandry and mixed sex polygamy are not.

[New haven america]

This raises a lot of questions for me. Probably because I don’t know the first thing about how polygamy works.

1. Who would take whose last name? Or would they just compound their last names into some kind of multi-barreled FrankenName? Or would they keep their own last names?

2. How would sleeping arrangements work?

3. If they have a child, what would the child’s birth certificate look like? How would the child address their parents? What would parent-teacher conferences look like?

4. If one person wanted out, but everyone else wanted to remain married, then how would the divorce work? Who would get custody of the kids?

This is confusing to me.

1. They can do whatever they want, just like normal marriage (you don't need to change your name when you get married)
2. Depends on the people involved. Some people prefer sleeping in the same room in giant beds, some people prefer sleeping in the same room with multiple beds, some prefer people having their own rooms that are open to other people moving around too, etc...
3. A birth certificate always lists the biological parents regardless of marital status (Unless one party or the other doesn't want their name on it). The child would address their parents however they want or however their parents decide, just like how it's done with monogamous parents. Parent-teacher conferences would look like how they do now.
4. We don't know, that's why we have this thread

[Threlizdun]

This raises a lot of questions for me. Probably because I don’t know the first thing about how polygamy works.

1. Who would take whose last name? Or would they just compound their last names into some kind of multi-barreled FrankenName? Or would they keep their own last names?

2. How would sleeping arrangements work?

3. If they have a child, what would the child’s birth certificate look like? How would the child address their parents? What would parent-teacher conferences look like?

4. If one person wanted out, but everyone else wanted to remain married, then how would the divorce work? Who would get custody of the kids?

This is confusing to me.

1. They can do whatever they want, just like normal marriage (you don't need to change your name when you get married)
2. Depends on the people involved. Some people prefer sleeping in the same room in giant beds, some people prefer sleeping in the same room with multiple beds, some prefer people having their own rooms that are open to other people moving around too, etc...
3. A birth certificate always lists the biological parents regardless of marital status (Unless one party or the other doesn't want their name on it). The child would address their parents however they want or however their parents decide, just like how it's done with monogamous parents. Parent-teacher conferences would look like how they do now.
4. We don't know, that's why we have this thread

Same room in giant beds is fun. It's just a giant cuddle puddle. My partners and I have joked about at some point just getting a room and making the entire floor a bed.

[USS Monitor]

So, i open it to the group, is there any reason to oppose plural marriages between three or more consenting adults?

It makes a mess of legal structures and insurance benefits that have been designed around two-person marriages.

Same-sex marriage is just taking an existing institution and opening it to everyone. Larger groups would be a new institution with a different structure.

[Dumb Ideologies]

Most people aren't emotionally well-fitted to polygamy. People who can make these relationships work for them, good luck, but giving it official sanction and trying to fit it into "liberation" and "equality" narratives is too simplistic and liable to result in harm. It's going to help far fewer honest people than it is manipulative cheaters who'll gaslight vulnerable partners by presenting their cheating as an identity that they can't help rather than shitty behaviour, and their partner as an abuser for not letting them sleep with other people.

[Abarri]

We've probably seen, heard, or learned about arrangements like polygamy, so I don't think this is really much of a new deal. Of legal age, with consent, and they're good to go.

It won't likely be my problem anyway if legalizing it turns out to be a bureaucratic nightmare.

This raises a lot of questions for me. Probably because I don’t know the first thing about how polygamy works.

Who would take whose last name? Or would they just compound their last names into some kind of multi-barreled FrankenName? Or would they keep their own last names?

How would sleeping arrangements work?

If they have a child, what would the child’s birth certificate look like? How would the child address their parents? What would parent-teacher conferences look like?

If one person wanted out, but everyone else wanted to remain married, then how would the divorce work? Who would get custody of the kids?

This is confusing to me.

Golly, that seems to be a tough question.

[Bluelight-R006]

It’s not? It is in some countries.

In the majority of countries, including the entirety of the western world, it is not.

Even in the countries where it's legal, only polygyny is, polyandry and mixed sex polygamy are not.

Ahhh, I see. I’ve seen many stories on polygamy before so I assumed.

[The Free Joy State]

With freely consenting adults, I don't have a personal problem if someone chooses to be a part of a plural marriage (though that is definitely not what I would choose for myself).

Legally, I think there are likely to be issues with divorce and inheritance law (especially when people die intestate).

Potentially, there are also issues regarding possibly coerced consent with religious groups that mandate polygamy (certain Mormon fundamentalist groups spring to mind) in order to obtain the highest echelons of heaven. Even with adults, there are questions about how free consent is if someone is raised in a closed community that teaches plural marriage is "God's plan" for them. However, this is a problem with some religious groups, particularly closed ones. If polygamy was legalised, closed groups would probably require some kind of oversight.

[Aclion]

The "consenting adults" part, I imagine.

Also, friendly reminder that a lot of right-wing politicians do seem strangely reluctant to abolish child marriage in the United States, and child marriage seems to go hand in hand with religious traditionalism rather than secular social progressivism.

Meanwhile, they're claiming that the left is the side that would support child marriage, all the while, the Right currently has and supports Roy Moore...

(¬_¬) *NSlefts behavior in the Desmond thread*

[Vassenor]

Meanwhile, they're claiming that the left is the side that would support child marriage, all the while, the Right currently has and supports Roy Moore...

(¬_¬) *NSlefts behavior in the Desmond thread*

I don't recall that thread being about child marriage.

[Aclion]

(¬_¬) *NSlefts behavior in the Desmond thread*

I don't recall that thread being about child marriage.

I wasn't, but's a bit laughable to accuse the right of defending pedos when this sites leftists were doing the same thing less then a week ago.

[Vassenor]

I don't recall that thread being about child marriage.

I wasn't, but's a bit laughable to accuse the right of defending pedos when this sites leftists were doing the same thing less then a week ago.

So you didn't read the thread either.

[Aclion]

I wasn't, but's a bit laughable to accuse the right of defending pedos when this sites leftists were doing the same thing less then a week ago.

So you didn't read the thread either.

I stopped reading when CP was posted.

[Vassenor]

So you didn't read the thread either.

I stopped reading when CP was posted.

Weird. I was reading the thread and I don't recall any child pornography being posted.

[Aclion]

I stopped reading when CP was posted.

Weird. I was reading the thread and I don't recall any child pornography being posted.

I'm not going to send you a link if that's what you're hoping for.

[Vassenor]

Weird. I was reading the thread and I don't recall any child pornography being posted.

I'm not going to send you a link if that's what you're hoping for.

I'm not sure where you're going with this, but since you're clearly living in a fantasy world anyway...

[Bluelight-R006]

If one person wanted out, but everyone else wanted to remain married, then how would the divorce work? Who would get custody of the kids?

Golly, that seems to be a tough question.

The ‘polygamous’ marriage can work out like a polygynous marriage except the marriage mates can either be male or female, and they are all married to one person who can be a male or a female.

Thus, if someone wants to divorce, then they only need to divorce with the one they married. The one who wants a divorce isn’t married with everyone in the marriage, anyway.

And to divide the kids, can’t the male/female and the divorcing one work out a simple agreement on the kids they bred together?

[New haven america]

Golly, that seems to be a tough question.

The ‘polygamous’ marriage can work out like a polygynous marriage except the marriage mates can either be male or female, and they are all married to one person who can be a male or a female.

Thus, if someone wants to divorce, then they only need to divorce with the one they married. The one who wants a divorce isn’t married with everyone in the marriage, anyway.

And to divide the kids, can’t the male/female and the divorcing one work out a simple agreement on the kids they bred together?

No it wouldn't because areas like the US don't follow African Tribal law or Sharia law.

[Bluelight-R006]

The ‘polygamous’ marriage can work out like a polygynous marriage except the marriage mates can either be male or female, and they are all married to one person who can be a male or a female.

Thus, if someone wants to divorce, then they only need to divorce with the one they married. The one who wants a divorce isn’t married with everyone in the marriage, anyway.

And to divide the kids, can’t the male/female and the divorcing one work out a simple agreement on the kids they bred together?

No it wouldn't because areas like the US don't follow African Tribal law or Sharia law.

I’m just giving a suggestion should polygamous marriage be allowed in these areas and these scenarios did occur.

[Risottia]

Why is it presumed that two consenting adults can form a loving partnership but that three or more cannot?

No, it is not. Afaik it is just presumed that regulating a marriage between more than two people would be a bloody mess.
And no, you cannot entrust married n-ples to regulate themselves - spousal abuse is a thing, and a spouse being bullied by two or more spouses would be even more difficult to detect than it is in married couples.
Society needs to grow a lot before we can start legalising n-plet marriages.

[Risottia]

Who would take whose last name? Or would they just compound their last names into some kind of multi-barreled FrankenName? Or would they keep their own last names?

"Take the name"? What? Really, do people still lose their names upon marriage? Weird.

How would sleeping arrangements work?

Not the government's business.

If they have a child, what would the child’s birth certificate look like?

Likely, there would be a need for a separate listing: biological parents (useful for health issues) and legal guardians. Biological parents need not to be disclosed except for hereditary health issues.

How would the child address their parents? What would parent-teacher conferences look like?

The n-ple's choice. Likely female guardians would be addressed as "mother" and male guardians would be addressed as "father", and by name if there's the need to identify a specific parent. Anyway their choice. Who cares?
As for parent-teacher conferences, the presence of one of the legal guardians would be enough.

If one person wanted out, but everyone else wanted to remain married, then how would the divorce work?

That's the tricky part. One could go with a default split of the n-ple's wealth in n parts and give one part to the one who wants to leave the marriage - and eventual variations would be decided by a judge.

Who would get custody of the kids?

Another huge mess. I guess the most sensible options would be a case-by-case evaluation by the judge, keeping in mind that what counts is the kids' well-being and NOT the parents' wishes.

[Washington Resistance Army]

1) Polygamy is very destabilizing to society
2) Remember when the anti-SSM crowd was worried this would happen due to the slippery slope and all the cries were that the slippery slope wasn't real?

This^^^