What makes a good pizza?

[Cekoviu]

Pineapple. Lots and lots of pineapple. Frankly, if you put some melted cheese on a pineapple and told me it was a pizza, I wouldn't argue with you about it because I just love pineapple so much. I would eat it all without a word. If you put some rings of pineapple on a piece of warm bread and told me it was pineapple pizza i'd eat that too because of how tasty pineapple is. Pizza's good, but pineapple pizza is the best pizza. The sweetness and sharpness of the pineapple are the best flavours to accompany the cheese and tomato sauce. I like stuffed crust pizzas, but the stuffing on the crust that's my favourite is pineapple jam. I stuff it in the crusts so that when I bite down the hot pineapple slime explodes into my mouth like a tangy firework. What make's a good pizza? L'ananas. That's French for pineapple. It's so good on pizza.

I feel strangely very honored by your kind words.

Quick, somebody get this talking "pizza" out of here before it force-feeds us pineapple!

[Major-Tom]

For starters, thick crust and it's disabled brother, deep dish pizza, is disgraceful. I want to taste a variety of flavors other than "greasy bread," and not feel like a fatass after one slice, so let's just rule out thick crust and its' despicable variants.

Second - cheese is key, too much cheese, and you feel like you're just choking down saturated fat. Too little, and it's like eating from a jar of canned tomatoes. There needs to be a balance, as all things should be.

I could go on, really.

[Likar]

As long as it does not come with a side of mustard gas, or pork, I am fine with.

[Fartsniffage]

[Ifreann]

(Image)

Gotta get that left beef.

[Jan Visi]

NOT

school pizza

[Farnhamia]

NOT

school pizza

Of course not. Schools are made of bricks and mortar and steel and glass, you can't eat that stuff.

[Likar]

NOT

school pizza

Of course not. Schools are made of bricks and mortar and steel and glass, you can't eat that stuff.

That, and the green gum they find under tables.

[Farnhamia]

Of course not. Schools are made of bricks and mortar and steel and glass, you can't eat that stuff.

That, and the green gum they find under tables.

Exactly.

[Ifreann]

NOT

school pizza

Of course not. Schools are made of bricks and mortar and steel and glass, you can't eat that stuff.

Challenge accepted.

[Fartsniffage]

Of course not. Schools are made of bricks and mortar and steel and glass, you can't eat that stuff.

That, and the green gum they find under tables.

Free gum.

[Likar]

Of course not. Schools are made of bricks and mortar and steel and glass, you can't eat that stuff.

Challenge accepted.

The second you end up in a hospital with permanent liver damage and the ability not to taste anymore, dont look at me.

[Likar]

That, and the green gum they find under tables.

Free gum.

The only thing free about this stuff is the sickness you will get.

[Ifreann]

Challenge accepted.

The second you end up in a hospital with permanent liver damage and the ability not to taste anymore, dont look at me.

You think a mere school could damage my liver?

[Likar]

The second you end up in a hospital with permanent liver damage and the ability not to taste anymore, dont look at me.

You think a mere school could damage my liver?

The stuff in there pizza probably can.

[Farnhamia]

Of course not. Schools are made of bricks and mortar and steel and glass, you can't eat that stuff.

Challenge accepted.

Maybe Catholic schools are made of communion wafers or something organic, but still ...

[Fartsniffage]

Challenge accepted.

Maybe Catholic schools are made of communion wafers or something organic, but still ...

They're just brick, glass, and metal. That is, until you take a bite. Transubstantiation bitches!

[Farnhamia]

Maybe Catholic schools are made of communion wafers or something organic, but still ...

They're just brick, glass, and metal. That is, until you take a bite. Transubstantiation bitches!

It's a miracle!

[Kowani]

Free gum.

The only thing free about this stuff is the sickness you will get.

That’s not free, you gotta pay the doctor.

[Korhal IVV]

The only thing free about this stuff is the sickness you will get.

That’s not free, you gotta pay the doctor.

And transport costs

[Likar]

That’s not free, you gotta pay the doctor.

And transport costs

Unless you live in Japan.

[US-SSR]

Pineapple. Must have pineapple.

[Jebslund]

NOT

school pizza

Of course not. Schools are made of bricks and mortar and steel and glass, you can't eat that stuff.

You can eat anything if you grind it into a fine enough powder.


Now, whether or not you'd *survive* eating it is an open question.

[Neanderthaland]

Humans, mostly.

[Farnhamia]

Humans, mostly.

I knew a guy in Brooklyn ...