The Rich Port wrote:Scomagia wrote:Yes, in my experience, the insulting behavior comes primarily from women. However, my reaction when the odd man has been insulting hasn't been any different. In either case, it's hurtful. Does other people's experiences being different with regards to gender role enforcement make mine irrelevant?
And I made no socio-political claims. I responded to a post of Gallo's with my own experiences because my experiences dove-tailed with what he was saying.
It's pretty difficult to have civil conversations if you assume bad faith from the other party. I haven't done that to you.
I apologize if my statement read as condescending. It wasn't meant to.
This idea that my wife's opinion is the only woman's opinion that I should value is ridiculous. How other people feel about me matters to me to varying degrees, based on the person, male or female. Sorry, I don't possess your degree of imperviousness to social opinion.
Good for you, being so tough and all. Not everyone is like you.
I didn't relay anything through Gallo, he posted what he did purely of his own inspiration and accord.
You know what, we got off on the wrong foot. Apology accepted, and I apologize in turn for assuming.
I accept your apology, as well.
I'm sure you'll find the strength to not care so much about other people's opinions.
It's an initial reaction, really. I just don't like that initial moment when I realize someone is being disrespectful. I don't dwell, probably because I assert myself and let people know when they're being rude.
I didn't know I was considered so tough! Thank you for the compliment.
Hey, not being perturbed at all when people are being rude to you is admirable.
It's one thing to rationally consider other people's opinions, but to let them affect you to the point that they upset you and make you angry just devalues your own.
You aren't wrong.
So what if some chode or some crone thinks you're a lazy lay-about? They obviously don't understand your situation, so either you've explained it to them and they refuse to stop being ignorant about it and therefore you shouldn't waste your time and it's time to find some new friends, or... You know what, I honestly don't know what else is there.
I agree. After the initial jackassery I don't really care but in the moment it's a bit of a bummer. As far as friends go, it's only some of my wife's acquaintances that are so blatantly rude. Her actual friends are my friends, as well, and they'd know better than to say anything derogatory about my domestic role if they want to continue being our friends.
Family-wise, most flak has come from her extended family. Her father said some pretty rude shit, once, but I asserted myself and he apologized in a hurry. Nothing since.
Anyway, shuffling back on topic, my situation emphasizes how the Alpha/Beta dichotomy fails to account for the complexities of human interaction. Am I a Beta for not working? Was I the "Alpha" in the interaction with my father-in-law, a man who himself could be generally said to be an "Alpha"?
It's insufficient terminology for the complex nature of individuals across time and their interactions with each other.