TDT 4: What the $#@! is a "womxn", anyways?

[Agarntrop]

Well, mission accomplished. I have been yeeted out of the closet. It went better than feared and even expected, tbh.
I was expecting to have to answer a lot of awkward or invasive questions, but none were asked. Everyone just accepted it.

Currently on phone, so can't quote everyone, but thanks for the well-wishes, and no need to notify the cops.

Phew!

[Kowani]

Well, mission accomplished. I have been yeeted out of the closet. It went better than feared and even expected, tbh.
I was expecting to have to answer a lot of awkward or invasive questions, but none were asked. Everyone just accepted it.

Currently on phone, so can't quote everyone, but thanks for the well-wishes, and no need to notify the cops.

Good news all around, né?

[Auzkhia]

This is was my first thanksgiving dinner wearing a dress. It was just my parents and younger sister.

I'm going to wear one again for Christmas, my extended family know since I did publically came out on facebook and some even found my instagram where I am more openly trans.

---

Well, mission accomplished. I have been yeeted out of the closet. It went better than feared and even expected, tbh.
I was expecting to have to answer a lot of awkward or invasive questions, but none were asked. Everyone just accepted it.

Currently on phone, so can't quote everyone, but thanks for the well-wishes, and no need to notify the cops.

Congratulations, I'm glad for you.

[Cekoviu]

Well, mission accomplished. I have been yeeted out of the closet. It went better than feared and even expected, tbh.
I was expecting to have to answer a lot of awkward or invasive questions, but none were asked. Everyone just accepted it.

Currently on phone, so can't quote everyone, but thanks for the well-wishes, and no need to notify the cops.

I'm really glad to hear that!

[Hediacrana]

Well, mission accomplished. I have been yeeted out of the closet. It went better than feared and even expected, tbh.
I was expecting to have to answer a lot of awkward or invasive questions, but none were asked. Everyone just accepted it.

Currently on phone, so can't quote everyone, but thanks for the well-wishes, and no need to notify the cops.

Yay! So glad for you.

This is was my first thanksgiving dinner wearing a dress. It was just my parents and younger sister.

I'm going to wear one again for Christmas, my extended family know since I did publically came out on facebook and some even found my instagram where I am more openly trans.

Good for you! Hopefully they reacted well.

[Auzkhia]

Well, mission accomplished. I have been yeeted out of the closet. It went better than feared and even expected, tbh.
I was expecting to have to answer a lot of awkward or invasive questions, but none were asked. Everyone just accepted it.

Currently on phone, so can't quote everyone, but thanks for the well-wishes, and no need to notify the cops.

Yay! So glad for you.

This is was my first thanksgiving dinner wearing a dress. It was just my parents and younger sister.

I'm going to wear one again for Christmas, my extended family knows since I did publically came out on facebook and some even found my instagram where I am more openly trans.

Good for you! Hopefully they reacted well.

I've already worn dresses around them at this point, they're good with me presenting feminine.

[Cappuccina]

Well, mission accomplished. I have been yeeted out of the closet. It went better than feared and even expected, tbh.
I was expecting to have to answer a lot of awkward or invasive questions, but none were asked. Everyone just accepted it.

Currently on phone, so can't quote everyone, but thanks for the well-wishes, and no need to notify the cops.

Good shit!!!

[Ifreann]

Well, mission accomplished. I have been yeeted out of the closet. It went better than feared and even expected, tbh.
I was expecting to have to answer a lot of awkward or invasive questions, but none were asked. Everyone just accepted it.

Currently on phone, so can't quote everyone, but thanks for the well-wishes, and no need to notify the cops.

Yeeeeeeeeeee

[Fahran]

Well, mission accomplished. I have been yeeted out of the closet. It went better than feared and even expected, tbh.
I was expecting to have to answer a lot of awkward or invasive questions, but none were asked. Everyone just accepted it.

Currently on phone, so can't quote everyone, but thanks for the well-wishes, and no need to notify the cops.

I'm glad things went well for you. I hope you had a lovely holiday with family and loved ones. <3

[Fahran]

Snippy

I'm glad things went well for you too. I hope you had a wonderful day and that Christmas goes well too!

[Saciu]

I did BMO1 today and had to put male as my gender on the information sheet, which was horrible. Dysphoria prevented me from concentrating on the test, which screwed me over.

[Luminesa]

Well, mission accomplished. I have been yeeted out of the closet. It went better than feared and even expected, tbh.
I was expecting to have to answer a lot of awkward or invasive questions, but none were asked. Everyone just accepted it.

Currently on phone, so can't quote everyone, but thanks for the well-wishes, and no need to notify the cops.

Well thank God nobody's gotta call no cops!

[Agarntrop]

I did BMO1 today and had to put male as my gender on the information sheet, which was horrible. Dysphoria prevented me from concentrating on the test, which screwed me over.

Why couldn't you write yourself as female?

[Bananamilkshake]

Hello! I'm Liam, and I'm a trans man from Ireland. I haven't come out to most people, mostly just because I'm worried how they'd react, and I did talk to a gp who said she'd get back to me but she never did. I'm thinking of calling up and making another appointment with her, in case she'd just forgotten to call me.

I wish I was brae enough to just post all this on facebook and be done with it.

[The Rich Port]

Well, mission accomplished. I have been yeeted out of the closet. It went better than feared and even expected, tbh.
I was expecting to have to answer a lot of awkward or invasive questions, but none were asked. Everyone just accepted it.

Currently on phone, so can't quote everyone, but thanks for the well-wishes, and no need to notify the cops.

Welcome to the jungle. We got fun and games

Hello! I'm Liam, and I'm a trans man from Ireland. I haven't come out to most people, mostly just because I'm worried how they'd react, and I did talk to a gp who said she'd get back to me but she never did. I'm thinking of calling up and making another appointment with her, in case she'd just forgotten to call me.

I wish I was brae enough to just post all this on facebook and be done with it.

Eeyup, sounds about right. Trust me, she probably has dozens or hundreds of patients just like you, you're not unique in that regard.

Plus, she also has to worry about the sniffles of a dozen other patients. Call her office back, methinks her secretary fucked something up or you just got lost in the shuffle/avalanche of sick people.

[Saciu]

I did BMO1 today and had to put male as my gender on the information sheet, which was horrible. Dysphoria prevented me from concentrating on the test, which screwed me over.

Why couldn't you write yourself as female?

I'm not quite out enough, and I was too nervous about putting "female" and having teachers find out about it.

[The Rich Port]

Why couldn't you write yourself as female?

I'm not quite out enough, and I was too nervous about putting "female" and having teachers find out about it.

Sounds about right, you made the call that was right for you. At the same time, it's pretty obvious that bothers you. You should take some steps forward. Baby steps are still steps.

Maybe you should talk to the school counselor. They're obligated by their codes of ethics to maintain your privacy so long as you're not a danger to yourself or to others, which means you can sue them for money if they're morons and blurt your secrets because they ran out of gossip topics. Having a couple dozen grand in your bank account is a good pick-me-up.

When you're ready, be more casual with it. It's a strange, strange world we live in. A boy who wants to be a girl is probably the least weird thing some people have seen.

Unless you live in a boring, droll, beige pseudo-Shariah suburbia where "weird" can mean anything from women showing their ankles and you speaking out against Jebus Allah Superstar, in which case, my condolences, but someone's gotta start the revolution

"heloo internet. did you guys know that maybe Jebus Allah... might be wrong about some stuff? case in point: fidget spinners. how coud you do this to us, Jebus Allah."

[Dumb Ideologies]

Why couldn't you write yourself as female?

I'm not quite out enough, and I was too nervous about putting "female" and having teachers find out about it.

There is a very self-destructive mindset that I know well, where you beat yourself up when you're in any way self-assertive or step out of line with expectations - for causing other people inconvenience, for fear of social consequence - but also beat yourself up when you bend even in relatively minor ways in order to avoid this conflict since you view any compromise and unwillingness to stand up for yourself as a moral flaw.

In this particular system there's never any good moves, as you internalise and take on full responsibility both for other people's reactions and for any failings to fully realise your own "truth" - but in a society you can very rarely fully do both. There's a certain self-kindness to be found in admitting that life is inherently a compromise and that sometimes at least temporary deference is not denial of self but the most prudent way of navigating the waters you find yourself in, where you control neither the wind nor the waves.

[The Rich Port]

I'm not quite out enough, and I was too nervous about putting "female" and having teachers find out about it.

There is a very self-destructive mindset that I know well, where you beat yourself up when you're in any way self-assertive or step out of line with expectations - for causing other people inconvenience, for fear of social consequence - but also beat yourself up when you bend even in relatively minor ways in order to avoid this conflict since you view any compromise and unwillingness to stand up for yourself as a moral flaw.

In this particular system there's never any good moves, as you internalise and take on full responsibility both for other people's reactions and for any failings to fully realise your own "truth" - but in a society you can very rarely fully do both. There's a certain self-kindness to be found in admitting that life is inherently a compromise and that sometimes at least temporary deference is not denial of self but the most prudent way of navigating the waters you find yourself in, where you control neither the wind nor the waves.

While some people do feel guilt and shame for not doing that, which they shouldn't... I find that's not the usual case.

I think what they're feeling is that... It feels wrong that they need to be quiet. It's uh, you know... Outrage is too strong a word, I suppose. Annoyance? Offense? Exasperation?

Indignance. That's the word. Frankly, I don't think you have to sacrifice your dignity.

I ask you: why should they be quiet? For fear of being hurt? Sure, but I hardly see any other reason to.

Also, nah, there's good moves... In this country it's usually a bad, horrible move being framed as a good move, which is why expressing yourself when there's nothing really wrong with it is usually easier to frame as a good thing, unless other people frame them as bad.

Also, sailors don't control wind or waves, they control the boat and the sails on that boat.

Or, you know, they just buy an engine for the boat.

I'm not sure what you wanted to do with that analogy.

[Dumb Ideologies]

There is a very self-destructive mindset that I know well, where you beat yourself up when you're in any way self-assertive or step out of line with expectations - for causing other people inconvenience, for fear of social consequence - but also beat yourself up when you bend even in relatively minor ways in order to avoid this conflict since you view any compromise and unwillingness to stand up for yourself as a moral flaw.

In this particular system there's never any good moves, as you internalise and take on full responsibility both for other people's reactions and for any failings to fully realise your own "truth" - but in a society you can very rarely fully do both. There's a certain self-kindness to be found in admitting that life is inherently a compromise and that sometimes at least temporary deference is not denial of self but the most prudent way of navigating the waters you find yourself in, where you control neither the wind nor the waves.

While some people do feel guilt and shame for not doing that, which they shouldn't... I find that's not the usual case.

I think what they're feeling is that... It feels wrong that they need to be quiet. It's uh, you know... Outrage is too strong a word, I suppose. Annoyance? Offense? Exasperation?

Indignance. That's the word. Frankly, I don't think you have to sacrifice your dignity.

I ask you: why should they be quiet? For fear of being hurt? Sure, but I hardly see any other reason to.

Also, nah, there's good moves... In this country it's usually a bad, horrible move being framed as a good move, which is why expressing yourself when there's nothing really wrong with it is usually easier to frame as a good thing, unless other people frame them as bad.

Also, sailors don't control wind or waves, they control the boat and the sails on that boat.

Or, you know, they just buy an engine for the boat.

I'm not sure what you wanted to do with that analogy.

My point is to express sympathy with the difficulty of being in a position where you feel trapped by people's expectations. As is yours, I think.

Our posts merely have different approaches in terms of how we suggest dealing with it. As you've taken issue with mine, I assume your approach involves a greater degree of displacing the feelings into indignation and outrage. My experience is that such an emotionally-charged approach of silently seething at society while you're unable to do anything about your situation can often feed anxiety, isolation and self-destruction, hindering people's ability to move forward and deal with other people. On the other hand, I've found that practising self-kindness, acknowledging the reality that things are currently unpleasant and that you currently have little control, then dedicating as much of your energies as possible into doing what you can personally within those circumstances to create a future where you'll be more able to live in the way you wish - buying your boat engine if you will.

My analogy is precisely that point, that "you can only do what you can do". You only have a limited degree of control, set the sails the best way possible, but don't get mad at yourself when the wind isn't blowing the right way or the seas get choppy.

[Saciu]

There is a very self-destructive mindset that I know well, where you beat yourself up when you're in any way self-assertive or step out of line with expectations - for causing other people inconvenience, for fear of social consequence - but also beat yourself up when you bend even in relatively minor ways in order to avoid this conflict since you view any compromise and unwillingness to stand up for yourself as a moral flaw.

In this particular system there's never any good moves, as you internalise and take on full responsibility both for other people's reactions and for any failings to fully realise your own "truth" - but in a society you can very rarely fully do both. There's a certain self-kindness to be found in admitting that life is inherently a compromise and that sometimes at least temporary deference is not denial of self but the most prudent way of navigating the waters you find yourself in, where you control neither the wind nor the waves.

I ask you: why should they be quiet? For fear of being hurt? Sure, but I hardly see any other reason to.

Anxiety, perhaps.

[Agarntrop]

Why couldn't you write yourself as female?

I'm not quite out enough, and I was too nervous about putting "female" and having teachers find out about it.

I don't know the ins and outs of your situation but I hope you can gain the confidence to come out someday. After all, to use a cliché, fortune favours the brave. Plus, if they don't expect it, then you could shatter some of their stereotypes about transgender people.

[Kowani]

Not quite trans news, but since we don’t have an LGBT+ thread, I figured it’d fit here more than anywhere: Billy Dee Williams, the actor who played Lando Calrissian comes out as gender fluid.

[Saciu]

I'm not quite out enough, and I was too nervous about putting "female" and having teachers find out about it.

I don't know the ins and outs of your situation but I hope you can gain the confidence to come out someday. After all, to use a cliché, fortune favours the brave. Plus, if they don't expect it, then you could shatter some of their stereotypes about transgender people.

I'm currently in the midst of coming out - in a couple of weeks, I might be completely out. Anyway, thanks.

[Saciu]

Not quite trans news, but since we don’t have an LGBT+ thread, I figured it’d fit here more than anywhere: Billy Dee Williams, the actor who played Lando Calrissian comes out as gender fluid.

One of the main criticisms of some of the more liberal parts of LGBT is the idea is that most people not on the binary are millenials/gen z who are afab. Given that Williams is an amab octogenarian, this could be great for the community. Still, I imagine they'll get harassed about it, which is a same.