Monkeying around with genes..

[The New California Republic]

What's the worst thing that could hap-

(Image)

I hate every ape I see
From chimpan-a to chimpan-zee
No, you'll never make a monkey out of me

Oh my God, I was wrong
It was Earth all along

You've finally made a monkey
Apes - Yes, we've finally made a monkey
Yes, you've finally made a monkey out of me
Apes - Yes, we've finally made a monkey out of you

I love you, Dr. Zaius!

[Slotted Floppies]

For the first time, scientists have used gene-editing techniques to make monkey brains more humanlike.

The monkeys, rhesus macaques, got smarter — they had superior memories to unaltered monkeys, according to recently-published research that’s kicked off a fiery debate among ethicists about how far scientists should be able to take genetic experimentation.

Shortly after gene editing babies so they can't contract HIV, Chinese scientists are up to shenanigans again in gene editing, this time inserting a gene called MCPH1 into Macaques.

The new gene made the monkeys’ brains develop along a more human-like timeline. The gene-hacked monkeys had better reaction times and enhanced short-term memories compared to their unaltered peers, according to China Daily.

On the one hand..

“The use of transgenic monkeys to study human genes linked to brain evolution is a very risky road to take,” University of Colorado geneticist James Sikela told the MIT Technology Review. “It is a classic slippery slope issue and one that we can expect to recur as this type of research is pursued.”

..yet on the other..

While altering one gene to enhance memory in some macaques won’t throw Darwinism off-kilter — there’s no risk of a “Planet of the Apes”-style uprising, yet — it could teach us how humanity became so intelligent and gives us hints as to why.

For science!

It begs the classic conundrum, would you rather have your face and the brain of a monkey, or a monkey's face and your brain given the choice?

Tough questions for tough times.

However what does NSG think of gene editing in this way, if we could make them smart enough we could put them in uniform and send them into battle as an army of super monkeys?

Is any of this a good idea?

So when can we make adding a monkey tail to every fertilised foetus mandatory?
And when can we add a tail grip to standard toilet design.
I eat so much Indian I’m spending a fortune in okky straps trying to keep myself seated.

[Pilipinas and Malaya]

Monkey King Immortality much?

Get banished to the underworld, disgraced servant of the Jade Emperor!

[Alvecia]

Cool. More of this please.

[Democratic Republic Of Unified States]

Create temple to Hanuman

[New haven america]

I think this is how Planet of the Apes started.

Depends on the continuity. In Conquest apes became pets to humans because all the cats and dogs in the world died, but then learned that they make really good slave labor, which caused the apes to overthrow mankind because the didn't like being slaves. Rise on the other hand, has apes becoming smarter by being animal test subjects for a drug that was supposed to cure Alzheimer's.

[The Brytish Isles]

I’ve got no issues with this. In my opinion, we should go full steam ahead with this kind of research. I’m all for uplifting our cousins and bringing them into humanity. Perhaps then people would treat them the respect they deserve.

Tl;dr let’s go with this and give primates human-level sentience.

[Ethel mermania]

The Hoff does not look like a monkey.

[Based Groyper]

Buh buh buh intelligence is a boshal monstruct!!!

[Free Arabian Nation]

Hopefully, if monkeys become as intelligent as humans, we are able to co-exist peacefully.

Because I can't wait to have an orangutan as a manager

[The New California Republic]

Hopefully, if monkeys become as intelligent as humans, we are able to co-exist peacefully.

It's one of those things that I doubt will happen naturally in our lifetime (but via evolution over a longer period, who knows?). There would need to be some major genetic intervention to make it a possibility during our lifetime. But if the genetic intervention is that extensive, then it could be argued that they are not really monkeys anymore.

Because I can't wait to have an orangutan as a manager

I'd rather not risk having feces thrown at me if I make a mistake at work.

Wait, it's chimpanzees that throw feces. Well, as long as the manager isn't a chimpanzee then I don't see a problem with it.

[Based Groyper]

Because I can't wait to have an orangutan as a manager

Not unknown in the present day, nor a particularly enjoyable condition.

[Free Arabian Nation]

Hopefully, if monkeys become as intelligent as humans, we are able to co-exist peacefully.

It's one of those things that I doubt will happen naturally in our lifetime (but via evolution over a longer period, who knows?). There would need to be some major genetic intervention to make it a possibility during our lifetime. But if the genetic intervention is that extensive, then it could be argued that they are not really monkeys anymore.

Because I can't wait to have an orangutan as a manager

I'd rather not risk having feces thrown at me if I make a mistake at work.

Wait, it's chimpanzees that throw feces. Well, as long as the manager isn't a chimpanzee then I don't see a problem with it.

This is ape racism.

[Galloism]

Hopefully, if monkeys become as intelligent as humans, we are able to co-exist peacefully.

It's one of those things that I doubt will happen naturally in our lifetime (but via evolution over a longer period, who knows?). There would need to be some major genetic intervention to make it a possibility during our lifetime. But if the genetic intervention is that extensive, then it could be argued that they are not really monkeys anymore.

Because I can't wait to have an orangutan as a manager

I'd rather not risk having feces thrown at me if I make a mistake at work.

Wait, it's chimpanzees that throw feces. Well, as long as the manager isn't a chimpanzee then I don't see a problem with it.

And crazy Australians cooped up in Ecuadorian embassies.

[The New California Republic]

I'd rather not risk having feces thrown at me if I make a mistake at work.

Wait, it's chimpanzees that throw feces. Well, as long as the manager isn't a chimpanzee then I don't see a problem with it.

This is ape racism.

[Galloism]

It's one of those things that I doubt will happen naturally in our lifetime (but via evolution over a longer period, who knows?). There would need to be some major genetic intervention to make it a possibility during our lifetime. But if the genetic intervention is that extensive, then it could be argued that they are not really monkeys anymore.


I'd rather not risk having feces thrown at me if I make a mistake at work.

Wait, it's chimpanzees that throw feces. Well, as long as the manager isn't a chimpanzee then I don't see a problem with it.

This is ape racism.

Technically it's speciesism.

[Esternial]

I've performed gene editing experiments myself - though nothing this extreme - and it's a really powerful technology.

Great care should be taken when using it, and as always I assume governments will drop the ball and repress scientific innovation with disproportionate measures.

[Shanhwa]

Replace the Coast Guard with Aquatic Chimps trained in search and rescue.

Gene editing will allow this to happen eventually.

e.g. gene editing = good

[Esternial]

Replace the Coast Guard with Aquatic Chimps trained in search and rescue.

Gene editing will allow this to happen eventually.

e.g. gene editing = good

Why not dolphins?

[Galloism]

Replace the Coast Guard with Aquatic Chimps trained in search and rescue.

Gene editing will allow this to happen eventually.

e.g. gene editing = good

Why not dolphins?

Dolphins are violent rapists of the sea, we can't let those kinds of people into the armed forces.

[Free Arabian Nation]

I've performed gene editing experiments myself

Unless you gave mice horns, I am not impressed

[Ethel mermania]

I've performed gene editing experiments myself

Unless you gave mice horns, I am not impressed

He made a typing Alpaca, what the hell else do you want?

[Free Arabian Nation]

Unless you gave mice horns, I am not impressed

He made a typing Alpaca, what the hell else do you want?

Horned Mice

[Ethel mermania]

He made a typing Alpaca, what the hell else do you want?

Horned Mice

Tough crowd.

[Bombadil]

The Hoff does not look like a monkey.

Then he has the brain of a monkey.